Loss of enjoyment or?

[bryce_l.]

<p>Thought the process of change was normal. This is not a complaint rather a thought of the future. Have done photography most of my life, both for 35 years of employment in the educational field and on my own following the progression of railway transportation in many locations around the world. What has changed? Used a pair of Hasselblads while employed and on my own started with original Pentax cameras purchasing my first Nikon F two years into their sales here in Canada. Have stayed with Nikon film and then tried digital DSLR's, just because that was the way the industry was progressing. I was made redundant in 1993, however continued transportation photogrpahy as before. Eight or nine years ago realized the desire to take a photograph was disappearing. <br>

Today the fun/enjoyment is no longer there. And looking at that which others produce do not even tweak a thought of joy or interest. One interesting aspect, am a survivor of a particularly difficult battle of cancer eight years prior; noticed after some three years of surgery, chemo and radiation that my interest in all things hobby be it photography, gardening, amateur radio and just walking about is greatly diminished. Yes have spoken to my own physician, she suspects some depression however given all my past understandable.<br>

As of this writing have now disposed of all my photographic gear, which was a few lenses, a Nikon F100, and Nikon D700 and most recently a Nikon D600. Also my amateur radio gear has all be sold and the outside tower has been removed. Strange in someways as there is no feeling of remorse or lightening of any existence or worries.</p>

<p> </p>

[zave_shapiro]

<p>I'm sure that your doctor's opinion has some weight. I also think that my age (63) and changing interests also figure in. I bought a digital camera (Canon 40D) but realized that I missed the surprise of getting prints back. As a single guy I don't want to get a dog just to enjoy its sense of joy in the everyday but it sounds like that's what's missing. I've enjoyed the Internet for fifteen years and I understand the economics but I resent just being an asset to be monetized. I'll check back on this thread; perhaps someone can clue us in on a fresh enthusiasm or a fresh attitude. Hang in there. (I'd say "dude", but I suspect we're both too old for that or for man-hugs.)</p>

[dave_s]

<p>I'm an old goat like you two. I agree with what Zave says:</p>

<p>(i) Listen to your doc. She can probably help, or she can send you to somebody who can help. </p>

<p>(ii) A dog's not a bad idea, provided you're able to take care of it. Having a dog (or dogs) is like having a kid. It gives you purpose, and an unconditional friend.</p>

<p>(iii) On the subject of purpose, <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-to-live-longer-find-your-purpose-in-life-9365420.html">*click*</a>. You've got to have a reason to want to get out of bed in the morning, even if it's just going for a long walk every day. Having a purpose helps keep you healthy and living.</p>

[chris_waller]

<p>At various times in the past I have had a 'flat spot' where the urge to photograph declined. However, something has caught my attention and I then rediscovered my 'photo mojo'. That said, I do not any longer have then energy to walk 15 miles carrying cameras, tripods etc. so my photography now is much more local. And I do far less street photography than I used to because I can't focus fast enough due to my being now very long-sighted.<br>

Events over the last couple of years and particularly over the last six months have given me pause for thought and reappraisal, and though my photographic output of late has been small I will return to it in the fullness of time. I continue to teach photography and am energised by the recent increase in interest in 'wet' photography.<br>

My photography is generally driven by some project or other and just at the moment nothing proposes itself as a subject, but I am sure that now the demands on my time and attention on other things has past, the Muse will return.</p>

[machts gut]

<p>"You may have a depression", was my first thought. I am a clinical psychologist myself. But on a different level I can understand and share your thoughts. I am an amateur for more than 35 years now, started photography at the age of 13, and am still interessted in photography. Wouldn't write this, if I wasn't. But sometimes I thing with the event of digital photography there are too many photos around, like I find there's too much audio noise around. The older I get the more I have a desire for tranquility.</p>

[charleswood]

<p>The best thing about a dog is that they do things that are soooo funny, I've laughed so hard about something a dog did that my stomach hurt.</p>

[colin carron]

<p>In your position I think I would seriously consider the dog option if you think you would be up to the responsibility of looking after it. As well as the advantages mentioned above they are also a great spur to keeping as fit as possible. </p>

[hjoseph7]

<p>Cats are great companions also, maybe a new environment might change your outlook.</p>

[Robin Smith]

<p>I would agree about the depression, but I also think that often looking back at photographs taken many years ago can generate their own melancholia which is not always welcome, so you don't do it, even though you like those photos. If you no longer enjoy it or get anything out of it, then there is no shame in stopping doing it.</p>

[rmuckey]

<p>In a situation of declining health and abilities, I've contemplated getting rid of some of my hunting, fishing and gardening equipment as I can no longer use them and perhaps someone else will enjoy their use. As my ability to do or enjoy those activities declined I focused on photography that I enjoyed to some extent years ago. I've thought going back to a "point & shoot" so as to not have to lug extra lens around in pursuit of nature/landscape shots as my capabilities further decline. Perhaps a change in equipment or pursuits to spark the interest back up?<br>

I plan on shooting in one form another for as long as I can - for it is a pursuit of finding beauty and joy in one's surroundings. Some days I only sit across our creek, with the camera at hand for what ever presents itself. If nothing else, I've gotten outside and enjoyed all that my senses have taken in. Perhaps a change of subject matter?<br>

My yellow lab is my constant companion and seeing him roll around in the grass, stick his nose up to "read" the air currents, the pleasure he gets exploring new/old places inspires one to take it all in, to enjoy, make the most out of the moment. There are times I've had to force myself to get up and about to take care of his "needs" and have been taken in by the clear winter night sky so there are pluses and minuses in regards to being a dog or cat's "partner". But, please remember - every dog should have a human, not every human should have a dog. <br>

In regards to "depression", yes it sounds as if you went thru alot - BUT YOU SURVIVED IT! Does that not bring a sense of accomplishment and joy? You went thru all the treatments, the un-certainty and fear - do let that which is in the past interfere with the enjoyment of LIFE now. One generally finds what they're looking for - look,pursue for that which brings you joy! <br>

Re: "man hugs" - helpful no matter what the age, sometimes accompanied with a "swift kick in the ass"<br>

Bob</p>

[jordan2240]

<p>Bryce, have you tried doing volunteer work of some sort? I don't know what your family status is, but if you are by yourself, then I can imagine it would be difficult to keep yourself entertained at times. Perhaps feeling that you are making someone else's life better would help. I am about a year away from retirement, but am married and we have 5 kids between us, so there's usually something to keep me occupied be it doing things with my family or wondering who I'll have to bail out of jail (which thankfully hasn't been an issue yet). Nonetheless, once I'm into retirement, I'll find some volunteer or work opportunity most likely involving kids, since I really enjoy being around them. If you are physically capable, I'm sure you can find some opportunities in your area. I imagine a lot of cancer patients would enjoy being around someone who fought through it and encourage them to do the same.</p>

<p>As for photography, I recently purchased a superzoom 'bridge' camera (Panasonic FZ200) and am entertaining the idea of selling off my SLR gear. Even with it's small sensor, the FZ200 takes shots that are easily printable up to at least 13x19 (the limit for my printer), and it's so light and versatile, I rarely leave home without it just in case I see something that strikes my eye. It's made photography really fun. So as Bob suggests, some new equipment might inspire some enthusiasm. </p>

<p>I realize that you yourself didn't bring up the pet option, but as suggested, they can definitely lift a mood. But what's even better than your own is someone else's that you don't have to take care of for the next 10-15 years, so perhaps volunteering at an animal shelter or with an organization like Canine Companions for Independence would be an option for anyone who enjoys animals but doesn't really want the responsibility. Perhaps you can even work photography into it somehow, and find new meaning in that pursuit.</p>

<p>Good luck getting through this. </p>

<p>Bill</p>

[rmuckey]

<p> Bad proof reading - s/b do NOT that which is past interfere ...<br>

One more point to consider as we age :what is the legacy you wish to leave behind,how do you wish to be remembered. During my 1st posting, I received news that an older gentleman that owned property upon which I hunted, hiked and gathered my firewood supply since my childhood passed last night. I had shared in my hunting and gardening successes and worked together in processing firewood and other projects for the past 15 years until forced to stop due to the mutual decline in our abilities. My regret - I didn't do so earlier and get to know him even better. After months in the hospital for leukemia treatments he still retained a pleasant demeanor and positive outlook - even after being taken off his meds and being told life expectancy was less than 2 weeks (he lasted 2 days). That is how I will remember Harvey along with the knowledge he shared, and our experiences together. Perhaps "surrounding" yourself with others of such positive attitudes - to quote lyrics from a song of my youth "don't let them bring you down" ...<br>

Getting back to the OP - you stated "35 years employment in the education field". Did you enjoy sharing your knowledge and expertise? Throughout the ages, as elderly were unable to participate in "hunting/gathering or providing" they took on the role of passing knowledge onto the next generation.Can you not continue to mentor others( recent posting in "New Members" stated interest in expanding film interest)?<br>

Bob</p>

[saintelmo21]

<p>Bryce, are you spiritual/religious? Maybe participating in a religious community might be of some interest to you. There is more than just the physical world, and often "The Balm" we seek cannot be found through material pursuits. Good luck to you.</p>

[Allen Herbert]

<p>Today the fun/enjoyment is no longer there. And looking at that which others produce do not even tweak a thought of joy or interest. One interesting aspect, am a survivor of a particularly difficult battle of cancer eight years prior; noticed after some three years of surgery, chemo and radiation that my interest in all things hobby be it photography</p>

<p>I love my photography, i just do it for myself.....yes, selfish.</p>

<p>We all are going to die just a matter of time.....but I will pressing that button until I'm taken away.</p>

<p>A finger up....</p>

[Allen Herbert]

<p>I will photograph to the end.......and when the grim reaper puts a hand on my shoulder I will still get another photo the last of the end.</p>

[Allen Herbert]

<p>Hey, if there is anything beyond oblivion I will be taking photos.</p><div></div>

[Allen Herbert]

<p>Enjoy, you are us, pick up your camera..</p>

[sallymack]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Bryce. You've been through a lot in the last few years. As I get older, the number of things in which I'm interested decreases. Like you, I don't feel any lightening (of spirit or whatever) for that lack of interest, just. . .not interested.<br>

<br>

However, I still find joy in photography. When I don't, I'll take a lesson from you and won't be taking any more pictures. --Sally

[JDMvW]

<p>I miss my dog and my cat. :(</p>

<p>I am compensating for it by taking more pictures. ;)<br>

I'm just back from the Civil War and this weekend is the French and Indian War.</p>

<p>I found that you aren't free until the kid leaves home and the (geriatric) pets die. </p>

[michaellinder]

<p>Bryce:</p>

<p>I am grateful that I've never dealt with cancer, except on the part of my wife - which was awful enough. However, at a ripe age of 66, I've had my share of issues, and I have had to fight like hell to keep myself from knocking on depression's door. What has saved me, since I retired about 18 moths ago, is at least 5 days a week of intense weight workouts (to the extent that I still am able).</p>

<p>Guilt is one of those emotions that poisons a person. I desperately hope that you are not feeling guilty about disassociating yourself from photography. You made a choice, and you are accepting the consequences. I suggest that you find something else in your life that brings you joy. Although I don't know you at all, I have every reason to think you will succeed.</p>

[richard_linscott2]

Uhh yup, sounds familiar. I'm going on 69 and have been doing photography from camera to darkroom since I was about 12. I too have lost interest in it as well as most other things I've enjoyed in the past. To expand on what Chris said, my interest in everything has flatlined. For now I make myself to walk about a half mile to the local coffee shop every day and make myself cook decent meals and eat them at a properly set table. I also make myself go to the zoo, a miscellaneous art galleries and sundry other places just to keep my blood and brain working, no matter how sluggishly.

 

My disinterest in everything irritates rather than worries me as I've gone through this phase a couple of times in the past. Somewhere along the line something, for some reason will tweak my interest and that kick starts my enjoying life again.

[Landrum Kelly]

<blockquote>

<p>What has saved me, since I retired about 18 moths ago, is at least 5 days a week of intense weight workouts (to the extent that I still am able).</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Michael, I am reluctant to try that after a rotator cuff tendon just suddenly tore about four years ago (for no obvious reason). I have found, however, that walking just a couple of miles a day does seem to do something to my metabolism that makes me feel a whole lot better, both physically and mentally.</p>

<p>More often, though, when I go stale, it is not anything physical that I need, but a new idea or purpose or project of some sort--something mental or spiritual.</p>

<p><strong>spiritual--inspire</strong><br /> <br /> There has to be more than a linguistic/etymological link between those two words. When we are "inspired" we do seem to be filled with a "spirit" (or something) that sparks us to want to try to do something new, something creative.<strong> </strong>The motivating power of a new <em>idea</em> can be a wondrous thing.<strong><br /></strong></p>

<p>--Lannie</p>

[cyanatic]

<p >Bryce –</p>

<p > </p>

<blockquote>

<p >One interesting aspect, am a survivor of a particularly difficult battle of cancer eight years prior; noticed after some three years of surgery, chemo and radiation that my interest in all things hobby be it photography, gardening, amateur radio and just walking about is greatly diminished. Yes have spoken to my own physician, she suspects some depression however given all my past understandable.</p>

</blockquote>

<p > </p>

<p > </p>

<p >I can only assume by your post that you wanted people to comment, or maybe not. Maybe you just wanted to write about it. Those who have been on this board for a while have probably seen many “I've lost my joy of photography” type posts. But what you went through physically and psychologically in a battle with cancer seems to take it to a different level. I got depressed when I hit 60 this past March (a psychological threshold only) and I'm in relatively good health. I can't imagine how I would feel had I gone through what you did. This is a lengthy way of saying that I'm probably not not a good one to give advice (not that you were asking for any). But what you said struck me and I can only say that I truly hope you find something to spark your interest.</p>

<p > </p>

<p >I don't know if it did anything for you, but I appreciated Dave S link to the article on the importance of finding purpose.</p>

<p ><a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-to-live-longer-find-your-purpose-in-life-9365420.html">http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/how-to-live-longer-find-your-purpose-in-life-9365420.html</a></p>

<p > </p>

<p >I have always been driven to do something creative – writing, acting, playing in a blues band, and in the last 8 years, photography. I don't know why you once cared for photography, or whether it was a creative outlet for you, but I sometimes think everyone has something they enjoy outside of their day to day job. Baseball cards, video games, skateboarding, poker, volunteer work, technical gadgetry, a pet...something. I hope something comes along, or that you seek something out, that captures your interest and drive in some way.</p>

[billangel]

I'm 66 and stopped working full time at an office job (computer programming) 12 years ago. Life does not bore

me, but working at an office job certainly did. While I could assert that my only major continuing interest is

photography, what I am really curious about now is how the human mind works. I believe that my photographic

experiments serve to explore that question. Since my photography is self directed, I photograph what I feel is of

interest, not what some editor or organization believes to be of interest. As such my work serves to provide

insight into how my own mind works, as much a being an attempt to document the workings of the minds of

others. The fact that I also do get depressed, and forsee living out the rest of my life as a childless old bachelor

doesn't diminish for me the motivation for doing photography, especially self portraiture, as that attitude or

expectation about my future can also come through in my work.

I'm reading an interesting non technical book right now: "The Optimism Bias: A Tour of the Irrationally Positive Brain" by Tali Sharot. It's worth checking out, as it also touches upon the subject of how cognitive neuroscientists use photography to probe how the human mind works.

[bobatkins]

<p>Bryce, I've been though some of the same issues as you and with the same hobbies! There was a spell of maybe 15 years when I never touched a radio and at times I've had no desire to touch a camera either.</p>

<p>Things change with time though and interests come back. I'd also advise talking with some health professionals (both mental and physical). Given your history, depression would not be unexpected. Loss of interest in previously enjoyed hobbies can indeed be a symptom of clinical depression. Depression isn't just feeling sad, it's sometimes just not feeling at all. Talking with a mental health professional can't hurt and it might help. There are cognitive and pharmacological treatments which can make a difference. </p>

<p>See http://psychcentral.com/encyclopedia/2010/loss-of-interest/ and http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/men-and-depression/signs-and-symptoms-of-depression/index.shtml</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>