Levity: Best way to hide a photo purchase from spouse/partner...

[jbm]

<p>I have a question I offer in partial seriousness: How do you best hide medium to large photographic purchases from your spouse or significant other? I mean both physically and financially. Come on, confess...<br>

I usually do this: slip cash intermittently into my "camera fund." E.g. when buying coffee pocket 5 bucks in change, you get the idea. Over time cash accrues. Eventually I get a prepaid cash card and make the purchase with it. Then I put it into the maelstrom of photo junk I have and slowly let it make appearances over 6 months. If my wife ever asks how long I've had iy, I tell her "Uh, for quite a while." If she asks about cost, I tell her, but she has a hard time getting upset about a couple of hundred bucks spent 8 months ago. Usually I do not get in too much trouble.<br>

What about y'all?</p>

[Matt Laur]

<p>I just make sure that we're getting <em>her</em> something that hugely eclipses my harmless little photographic escapades. Since she makes jewelry, I'll make sure that my next $500 studio flash head purchase is lost in the noise of the hydraulic press or new torch and oxygen regulator she has coming in.<br /><br />Of course, she actually <em>sells</em> the stuff, which more than pays for her hardware. Perhaps I should just do a little more of <em>that</em> and the whole thing would be a little more academic (and a little less subversive!). <br /><br />All that being said, our closet does have a completely mysterious ability to materialize shoes that I've never seen before. "What, those old things?" she'll say. I fall for it every time. Or so she <em>thinks! </em><br /><br />What, <em>that</em> old lens?</p>

[phule]

<p>What sort of relationship can you possibly have if you have to lie to your spouse?</p>

<p>I still don't understand why people post these questions. Are you looking for validation for your obviously wrong behavior?</p>

<p> </p>

[andylynn]

<p>Sometimes I am happy I'm not married.</p>

[tonmestrom]

<p>I'm totally with Rob on this. My wife doesn't want or need to hide anything, nor do I.</p>

 

[jpo3136b]

<p>Keep it in the same apartment as the mistress. </p>

[scott_murphy_photography]

<p>I have a credit card I just use for my photography business. It only has a $1000 limit. I will get little things on it, like filters, maybe a light stand, etc. without telling my wife. But if we are talking <em>large</em> expenditures, like bodies, lenses, strobes, etc., I can see no reason whatsoever to keep it from your spouse. Even if I pay for it on my card, I always ask if it's ok or tell her I need it. I will still have to justify it before she cuts a PO for it!</p>

<p>It took some world class convincing of the Household Purchasing Agent to turn loose $3000 for a Nikon D700 and battery pack, but in the end, when I came up with about 75% of it from shoot profits, she didn't have any problem with it.</p>

<p>Honesty is <em>always</em> the best policy. If you lie to your spouse on little stuff like this, and especially if she finds out after the fact, then they will always wonder what else you're lying to them about. Women are very <em>devious</em> this way! Not to mention I am a lousy liar! I think a neon sign goes off on my forehead whenever I tell a lie, because she always catches me in it!</p>

[jackaldridge]

<p>I hope you made this post 'tongue in cheek'...if not then here are a few suggestions:<br>

1- Tell your wife you think hobbies are important for both of you and decide on an amount you both can put back each month to spend as you choose.<br>

2- Get a part time job to pay for your hobby (I teach photography nights at a local community college with the proviso the money I earn there is for my hobbies).<br>

3- Every time you buy something give your wife the same amount of money to spend as she chooses.<br>

If those ideas seem lame, or if you were really serious in your post...try this line...<br>

"It's not my stuff honey...I'm just keeping it for my girlfriend"...</p>

[geoffs1]

<blockquote>

<p ><a href="../photodb/user?user_id=2344388">Matt Laur</a> <a href="../member-status-icons"><img title="Hero" src="http://static.photo.net/v3graphics/member-status-icons/hero.gif" alt="" title="Hero" /> <img title="Subscriber" src="http://static.photo.net/v3graphics/member-status-icons/sub3.gif" alt="" title="Subscriber" /> <img title="Frequent poster" src="http://static.photo.net/v3graphics/member-status-icons/3rolls.gif" alt="" title="Frequent poster" /> </a> , Oct 19, 2009; 11:57 a.m.<br>

I just make sure that we're getting <em>her</em> something that hugely eclipses my harmless little photographic escapades. ...</p>

</blockquote>

<p>LOL!<br>

I find that approach just empties the bank account twice as fast...</p>

<p>He's cute and costs more than a 500mm f/4 IS...</p><div></div>

[Mike D]

<p>Actually, this is a very valid post. A couple times per year I go on photo trips put together by a local camera store with about 20 other amateur photographers. There is some really expensive equipment and it's hilarious how some of the attendees, including women, hide their more expensive purchases from their spouses. My wife is often suspicious about some of my photo equipment as I am suspicious about some of her dresses. I've been married over 35 years and it's a fun little game as long as it doesn't jeopardize one's financial situation. </p>

[Matt Laur]

<p>And for those that are taking it too seriously... no, we don't actually hide such purchases from each other. It's the stuff of many a long, thoughtful discussion. I have to talk her <em>in</em> to making her purchases, and she has to talk <em>me</em> into making mine. I don't think we'd get anywhere without that sort of reciprocal support and sanity checking. It's the only way to go.</p>

[hjoseph7]

I'ts not mine the job let me hold it for a while !

[derek_kennedy]

<p>Jay. i sorta do what you do but I just go and buy it and when she asks when i got it - oh - Ive had it for a long time now.</p>

<p>When I had the Canon 10D, I got the 20D and she never knew cus they look identical. When I got the 40D I couldnt hide it since she bought it...cus my 10D (20D) was 'wearing out'.</p>

<p>I have so many cameras now (51) she doesnt seem to really care anymore but I'll have to hide the 7D from her for a while 'in plain site'. Ireally doubt she will notice its a new camera but if she notices 'Ive had it for a while now, how much? oh, got a deal on ebay - $1000'. I usually downgrade the purchase price.</p>

[will_daniel1]

<p>Matt, it's not about taking things too seriously. It's simple -- Jay asked about how best to lie to one's spouse. He's a liar (by his own admission). There was a similar thread on here recently by a woman. I posted a similar comment about lying to a spouse, and she responded that it didn't really matter because she was a professional and earned her own money. Well, OK then -- it's morally acceptable to lie to your spouse if you make money. Hmmm...</p>

<p>This is a no-brainer -- don't lie to your spouse.</p>

<p>Will</p>

[sattler123]

<p>We never have to hide any purchases from each other - if we had to, I would seriously question why I'm still married.</p>

[chris_waller]

<p>Try the 'amnesia' approach - "This? But I've had this for years! You remember - I bought it in (fill in date/place as appropriate)." </p>

[tonmestrom]

<p>Matt, your response was very clear and not to be misunderstood.</p>

<p>As for Jay:</p>

<p> </p><div></div>

[hal_b]

<p>I'm a terrible liar, and my wife is MUCH too smart for me. Every time I've tried to cover up a purchase, she sees right through me. Best not to go down this road...</p>

[manuel barrera houston,]

<p>why would you want to hide anything? I tell her that I am buying some thing and that is it.</p>

[luis_g]

<p> Not that *I* have, or ever would undertake such an immoral, unilateral, surreptitious, sordid, deceitful, immature and selfish route to disguise acquisitions, but speaking strictly on a hypothetical basis...</p>

<p>1) Resist the urge to place your hard-earned treasures on display. It would be waaay too obvious. Out of sight is out of mind.</p>

<p>2) Develop a camera slush fund, and feed it steadily. Crotchfruit turn into teen-aged ingrates who wouldn't be seen dead with you, then go off to college, where the $$$ hemorrhage gets serious. Cameras otoh, love you back, long time, and are always eager to suck up a few photons.</p>

<p>(I'm just kidding, PPNetters, don't get too wound up, please).</p>

<p>3) When buying from B&H, you can have things sent to another address as a "gift" to another address (does Adorama do this?). One could develop a "buddy" system with an equally corrupt, immoral, low-life, lying sack of lens tissue friend whose wife doesn't know yours.</p>

<p>4) If something has to come to your house, make certain you're there to meet & greet the UPS truck. Take a 1/2 day off, or bribe an unemployed buddy to intercept and sign for you.</p>

<p>5) No matter how big the score, NEVER brag about it to your beloved spouse. 1) She'll be clueless as to what you're babbling about but, 2) It's a shameless display of a runaway ego 3) She <em>will </em> know it was pricey. Nor should you engage in miserly behavior and spread out your haul on the bedspread to admire.</p>

<p>6) Buy as many identical camera-bag (or at least 400mm) sized opaque rubbermaid containers as will fit into one of your closets in one fell swoop, and put your gear in them. Be sure to say you got a deal on them at a garage sale, so you bought many extras, that way, you'll have room to expand. Also buy identical shoulder straps for everything. The Domkes are good.</p>

<p>7) All your camera bags should be the same color, black. Get one largish locking hardcase. It will come in handy someday.</p>

<p>8) Tape over the brand names on every body you own. Keeps the burglars and spousal units from noticing. Besides, do you really need to advertise for Canikon?</p>

<p>9) Get a debit card from your slush fund, and of course a PO Box for the statements to go to. When buying something large from a privateer, whatever you do, do NOT use a credit card. Use USPS MOs.</p>

<p>10) Use a separate Hotmail address for exchanges with sellers.</p>

<p> Of course, this is all in good humor and purely hypothetical. No one in their right mind, least of all me, would engage in such horrid, deceitful shenanigans over something as insignificant as photo-gear. An affair would be easier (not to mention much cheaper! :-) So, Pnetters, whatever you do, <strong>don't try this at home, </strong> Ok?</p>

<p><strong><br /> </strong></p>

[KenPapai]

<p>Depends on the price, and yes, lying will get you into trouble eventually.</p>

<p>Around the $300 mark I make the call -- below that amount I will go out and buy it whenever and whatever. At or above $300 I'll check with her... the bigger ticket things (above $1,000) require better planning with her.</p>

<p>I could easily run out and buy a 7D or a 5D2 now and LOVE it and she won't know right away... eventually I'd be in trouble ... maybe 6 mos. down the road, so I don't go down that road, ever.</p>

[matthew_newton]

<p>I do sometimes exageratte just how much I <em>need </em>a lens or other purchase, but I have yet to 'hide' one from my wife. Well, technically I did the other day. I got a Zuiko 135/3.5 that had a bad fungus problem (unknowingly) and got a refund on it and then bought another 135/3.5 to replace the fungal one. I could have sworn I had told my wife I was going to do that (replace the refunded lens). She swears up down and left that I hadn't when the lens showed up and went "What's in the package? I didn't think you were getting anything".<br>

Oppsie.<br>

A little $35 accident as it were (I guess I really did forget to tell her).<br>

Other then that, we never lie about purchases. Sometimes we might mention them after the fact if it is a little purchase, but we never don't tell each other.<br>

Heck most even $40 purchases we talk to each other about ahead of time. I guess it just comes with being honest about everything in our marriage. There is the occasional 'talking in to' of a purchase we know the other really wants, but feels to guilty to buy. Funny thing though, its ususally me convincing my wife that she should just go ahead and get X item, and not her convincing me I should get Y item (what! Why the heck do you need Y? I thought you already had 14 Ys sitting on a shelf, what does this Y do that the others don't?!?!).</p>

[sd_woods]

<p>If you're a pro, pay for it through the work you did with it, then tell her/him. If you're not, ask her how much those shoes cost her..</p>

[railphotog]

<p>Since I was the only breadwinner in our family for many years, and actually made extra money with my photography hobby, I never saw the need to mention or discuss whenever I bought something. Much of the time I've traded in the old gear for new stuff too. I didn't actually hide anything, I just got the things I wanted or needed. I never took money needed to run the household, but used money I made by doing a lot of work in photography.</p>

<p> </p>

[brucecahn]

<p>Never asked, rarely told.</p>