Does this happen to you?

[sarah_fox]

<p>I'm not complaining. It's more amusing to me than anything. However, I've noticed a near-universal response sequence when someone asks me what I do for a living and I tell them I'm a photographer. The immediate reaction is one of delight -- usually "Oh WOW," often along with other expressions of admiration and/or envy. Being that fascinated that I'm a photographer, you'd think the person would ask whether I have a website where they could view my work, but that hardly ever happens. I'm sometimes asked what sort of photography I do, but that's about it.</p>

<p>Then here's the thing that has me puzzled. Most people who have engaged me in conversation this far want to forward me a link to someone else's photography they like, or they want to show me someone else's photos. In fact I met the nicest lady yesterday who excitedly told me she wants to show me many albums worth of photos she's taken on her travels. I look forward to knowing her better and will probably take her grand photographic tour at some time in the future. ;-)</p>

<p>It's a curious thing, though. Why do people want to show the photographer other people's photographs and not look at that photographer's own work? Or does this only happen to me?</p>

[MichaelChang]

<p>For the same reason that once people learn that I work in electronics, they immediately want to show me their broken toaster. :-) </p>

 

[User_276104]

<p>I'm a musician and people always end up telling me about their career in high school band.</p>

[steve_levine]

<p>When I shot weddings, people would always ask me to diagnose their point & shoot camera's issues. I'd often be asked how such and such works, etc. Like I had nothing else to do at the wedding.</p>

[sknowles]

<p>I am a geographer by education (MS) and was a hydrologist by career (USGS), now retired as a geographer and photographer. I only get puzzled looks when they hear my job title but at least I get interest when I tell them I'm writing a photo guide (Mt. Rainier NP). That they understand and ask questions.</p>

[MichaelChang]

<p>Maybe it just depends on the person you're engaged in conversational with, Sarah. Some folks have a keen interest in others, while some people just like to hear themselves talk. In between is a balanced exchange of mutual interest. </p>

[tom_harvey3]

<p>Once people find out that I worked in electronics for 30+ years, they want me to re-wire their homes...</p>

[JDMvW]

<p>I'm an archaeologist and people always tell me that they wish they'd gone into that themselves.</p>

<p>I have to admit, I'm really glad I did.</p>

[tom_mann1]

<p>Sarah, my guess is that many of the responses you described are probably designed to (a) make the non-photographer appear at least somewhat knowledgeable in the eyes of "the expert" (ie, you), and/or (b) show that they have something in common with you to smooth the way for continued conversation. The folks that don't ask about seeing your images may think that doing so might be considered somewhat gauche / presumptuous / pushy / putting you on the spot, etc.</p>

<p>In contrast, when I tell someone that I am a physicist, I rarely have to worry about the conversation going on longer than I want. Usually, there is a moment of silence while they are figuring out what to say, followed by something like, <em>"Wow! That's really deep. (pause) ... I did horribly in physics in high school. (pause) ... (pause) ... Would you excuse me, I want to grab a snack."</em> ;-) </p>

<p>OTOH, a few percent of such encounters take a totally different direction, and the guy (...it's always a guy...) says something like, <em>"Wow! That is just SO cool. I've been dying to meet someone like you. ... I have this new theory of the universe that will allow people to travel into the future, but nobody will ever listen to me...."</em>. ;-)</p>

<p>Great topic, Sarah. </p>

<p>Tom M</p>

[peter_e]

<p>People want to connect. They obviously can't talk about your photos which they have not seen, so they talk about their photos. They are only interested in a social contact, not in a business contact, which explains why they don't request your URL.</p>

[jim_gardner4]

<p>I like talking to people and I am a gynaecologist.......Oh no, wait, I'm not am I. Bugger.</p>

[mbkissel]

<p>I think the person asking is usually looking for some feedback on their own work. They probably assume that since you are a photographer, you are supremely qualified to critique their photos. I suspect they often assume their work is good, and are looking for affirmation of that. I've been asked many times to look at a portfolio or even a single image and render an opinion although I feel highly unqualified to do so (I'm not an artist by any stretch). </p>

<p>Maybe you could review their work and point something out that they could do better with a "take a look at this photo in my portfolio, it illustrates what I'm talking about". That way you have invited the person to see an image (and likely the rest of your work) without any pressure.</p>

[AlanKlein]

<p>Michael: Me too. When people heard I was in electronics, they'd ask me to fix their TV. (Well this was back during tubes!)</p>

<p>Sarah: Why don't you give them a couple of your business cards after the usual banter? It can't hurt!</p>

[john_h.1]

<p>I think Peter E. summed it up accurately as far as I can tell. Photography is something most people do at least a little bit. Its easy for people to share what they have to offer. Look at photo.net. People show work and discuss things all the time even if they are not pros. Most are just more advanced or engaged than most people in society so its a little different but not too much.</p>

[Tim_Lookingbill]

<p>Face it. As George Carlin once said..."People like their own stuff and they don't care for anyone else's". Not an exact quote but it'll have to suffice.</p>

<p>Here's my test on whether someone wants to connect with you as a person. Ask them first about their interests and engage them by asking pertinent questions that show you have a genuine interest based in meaning, intelligence and substance and you're not just being socially appropriate. </p>

<p>Wait for a pause in the conversation for the other person to ask about your interests. If they don't, they aren't worth getting to know and it's just best to move on to the next person if available.</p>

<p>As a creative person and thusly "Only interested in my own stuff" or self centered (a term I don't care for), it took me years of talking to a wide range of people from rich to poor of various ethnicity and vocations to figure out this test. So far it's prevented a lot of my time from being waisted and expectations dashed in my fellow human so I can then concentrate my efforts toward finding someone who REALLY gives a sh*t about my stuff.</p>

<p>So far I'm that only person and I'm cool with that.</p>

[tom_mann1]

<p>Tim ==> +1 </p>

<p>Another test you can use is to see how long they can stay away from their "regularly scheduled programming". Many people realize that to be socially appropriate, there has to be give and take in a conversation, so they dutifully will listen to you for a while, but if there is a pause in the conversation and they can steer it back towards themselves, they will do so. The time it takes to do this is another useful indicator. ;-)</p>

<p>Tom M</p>

[Tim_Lookingbill]

<blockquote>

<p>Another test you can use is to see how long they can stay away from their "regularly scheduled programming".</p>

</blockquote>

<p>I suspect this happens here on Photo.net going by the timing of certain shows to how long someone responds. I've even timed it myself including noting time zone differences to when programs air.</p>

<p>Deem me guilty as charged for doing the same.</p>

<p>In fact I once was so distracted by what was showing on TV in a coffee shop trying to concentrate listening to this beautiful woman I had grown up with as a child while we did some catching up after many years apart. For some reason I failed to notice back then the amount of one sided talking she engaged in as a child I now saw before me as my attention span slowly drifted toward what was showing on the TV behind her.</p>

<p>She took a split second (AND I MEAN SPLIT SECOND!) to stop talking to turn around and check what I was looking at. After she turned back to me, she started asking ME questions.</p>

<p>Oh! Oh! Pardon me, The Daily Show's coming on. Be right back.</p>

[tom_mann1]

<p>Tim, that's funny. By "regularly scheduled programming", in addition to the TV meaning, I obviously also meant their own list of topics that THEY want to talk about at all costs :-( .</p>

<p>Tom M</p>

[nathangardner]

<p>I think a lot of people are self-centered, and instead of being impressed by you, they want you to be impressed by them, and so they send you links to either their own photos or photos of others in a hope that you'll be impressed by thier taste.</p>

[jgalyon]

<p>Sarah, I honestly haven't experienced this little phenomenon you've described, but one that puzzles me is this: recently I've been building up my portfolio of portraits for use on my website that is still under construction. In recent weeks I've engaged people in a local park, offering a free photo session in return for their granting me permission to use the photos on my website. At the same time, I've often taken a few photos of them, their children, family, etc., at the time we've met and given them a business card with my e-mail address so that they could contact me later in the week and view their fully edited photos. The vast majority of them never make contact with me...never take a look at the photos. Keep in mind that none of these people know me, they've never seen my photos, haven't a clue if I have take good pictures or not. So it's not that they've seen my work and don't like the pictures...therefore they opt out of viewing them. For all they know...I might be the world's foremost portrait photographer, but for whatever reason...they don't even take a look. What truly perplexes me is the apparent total lack of (if nothing else) any sense of curiosity about the photos. I know that if I were in their place...I'd at least be curious enough to see how the heck the photos came out, especially considering that they are free...and that I've been offered a 1-2 hour session that again, is completely free. All of these folks spent at least 10-15 minutes with me as I took their pictures, all seemed very eager to take advantage of the offer...but then seem to fall off the face of the earth. I just don't get it! I realize that we all tend to procrastinate at times, and maybe these people will suddenly contact me when I least expect it...but considering that we're in the middle of the holiday season, I would have thought that there would have been some interest in the photos that might be given as presents...but apparently, NOT! Although I've offered a reasonable explanation as to why their sessions would be free (and a CD of all their edited prints given as well), perhaps the fact that it's free translates in their minds to...if it's "free" it must not be worth anything! That's the best I can come up with.</p>

[joewhite]

<p>But enough about you, Sarah, let's get back to me...</p>

 

[MichaelChang]

<blockquote>

<p><em>"In contrast, when I tell someone that I am a physicist, I rarely have to worry about the conversation going on longer than I want. "</em></p>

</blockquote>

<p>Me too, Tom, and the funny thing is, they always say "yeah, right..." and walk away! :-) </p>

[Hector Javkin]

<p>When I meet a professional photographer in a social setting , I'm curious as to their work, but cautious about seeing it. I might hate it, and my face is certain show that. Nowadays, you don't have to ask for someone's web site, it's enough to express the faintest of interest, and you'll see their portfolio on their phone, or Ipad, or computer with access to their cloud. It's safer to ask about technique. Recently, when I met an architectural photographer, I asked about lighting, about the Scheimpflug principle, everything I could think of which would be related to his work. He was thrilled to meet someone who knew anything at all, and I learned stuff. What's wrong with that?</p>

[steve m smith]

 

<blockquote>

<p>I'm a musician and people always end up telling me about their career in high school band.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>So am I, but thankfully, I never get those stories.</p>

<p>When people find out I am an amateur photographer who takes pictures of landscapes, trees, rocks, in fact anything without people in, they ask me to photograph their wedding or their band for a CD cover!</p>

 

[GBarrington]

<p>Better if you tell them that you sell insurance. They go away pretty quick!</p>