What happens to photos after divorce?

[shots worth sharing]

I agree with Anthony: "Do yourself a favor, copy the pictures and give them to the bastard" but for different reasons. Put simply, it will tie up that loose end and keep it from becoming a nagging issue.

[James G. Dainis]

I'm not a lawyer but I just finished reading seven Perry Mason novels so I will wade in.

 

Michael gave you the best advice. "Personal property of married people is jointly owned property in just about all 50 States...". You own the copyright but so what? That just means no one else can copy them. Your soon to be ex can say, "She can keep the copyrights, I just want all the photos" and a judge just may rule in his favor. The issue of the photos may arise during settlement proceedings along with who gets the cars, house, stereo equipment etc. That would be the time to decide what is to be done. After the divorce, the issue of the photos becomes one of what you want to do or not do.

[bnyc]

Susan, I know this must be a very emotional time for you, and undoubtedly this is an extremely painful process and as part of it I bet your feelings are crushed routinely. It must also feel somewhat empowering to have this little slice of your memories to yourself, not shared with the ex who apparently put very little time into capturing them. But I think you should take the high road and give him a copy of all of them for three reasons:

 

1) Things like this have a habit of developing a life of their own in the divorce process, and (IMHO) the best way to minimize the number of painful fights is to minimize the number of things to have painful fights about. Falling back on a legal argument like copyright only makes it more contentious, as it will look like you are just being petty. Feelings will soften at some point and you will probably regret having spent a lot of energy on this issue.

 

2) As Raymond said, they are his memories too even if he didn't take the photos - take the high road. This is all the more important if you have children. They deserve to have their father, grandparents, etc. have some of their childhood photos. If kids are involved, you need to think of how it will look from their perspective.

 

3) As James said, retaining copyright doesn't say anything about your husband having or not having copies. Put differently, if he already had copies of everything, your retention of copyright would not entitle you to force him to destroy them; it would only prevent him from profiting from your photos without your authorization, and I don't think that's an issue here. If you try to make this argument to a judge while other matters are being contested, you risk antagonizing him or her and disadvantaging yourself on the other issues.

 

Bottom line: be the bigger person on this and all issues related to the divorce. It hurts now, but you will spare yourself further pain in the future.

[KenPapai]

Take the easy way out: he buys an external 250GB hard drive, and you then copy all the photo image files to it. Case Closed.

 

What's not to like in that solution?

[dennisgg]

I think they get Photoshopped, have darts thrown at them, artistically altered with a Sharpie, get one of the subject extracted via a sharp paper cutting object, burned or otherwise.

 

:>

 

Had to!

 

Good luck,

 

Dennis

[stwrtertbsratbs5]

susan - just give him copies of the photos. There will be plenty of other things that you can

fight over.

[john_h.1]

Susan, your asking people on a photography website for legal advice on divorce law on an issue that should really be asked of "Dear Abby". Photography is the least relevent issue here. Much of the legal responses are incorrect or incomplete. There's no point in getting in to that here anyway.

 

Your question is about what to do with items of sentimental value that probably have little or no economic value. Items that can be copied. Here's my own Dear Abby type response...

 

Offer the ex to be copies in exchange for him providing a means to do so without too much trouble on your part. Ken's suggestion seems reasonable. If he does not agree now, it will probably be hashed out later when you get in to needless nitpicking for the divorce agreement later on.

[mr. sullen]

"Are these 100% my property?" It's good to see that after ten years it all about something as meaningless as property. Maybe try being a selfless human being and give them copies. If they are jerks about it all, so what, you will be the righteous one in the end.

[mrstubbs]

"I'm not a lawyer but I just finished reading seven Perry Mason novels so I will wade in."

 

Now that's why I like this place!

 

Give them a copy and forget about it. What's the point of photographs if people don't look at them?

[jaybee]

This is the best advice posted so far:

 

Anthony Beach: Do yourself a favor, copy the pictures and give them to the bastard. A gracious and forgiving act like that is therapeutic and does far more for you than it does for them. Anger is a poison we swallow in the deluded hope it will make others suffer.

 

The second best advice is:

 

John Henneberger: Much of the legal responses are incorrect or incomplete.

 

My only followup question:

 

Michael Christensen: "You could talk to an attorney (about $80/hour)..."

 

When is the last time you saw an attorney? In my area, you're talking at least three times that for a decent, but not great, lawyer.

 

Joel Berry - Sugar Land, Texas

[john_h.1]

Susan, is there a way you can make DVD's without much undue burden? Perhaps you can make one a day or do your own back-up project where your spouse will get an extra set? Also, if you have children (even if adults themselves), you might think the set of DVDs as being a backup copy of sorts for them. Afterall, they would be in possession of one of their family members. Who knows what may happen to you or your belongings one day.

 

If you do this, it will place the principle of good karma over the principle of resisting pressure to do things.

[w.c._kerr__jr]

Copy the images to one folder.

Copy the one folder to a zip drive

Give him/her the zip drive.

 

It really that simple.......

 

W.C.

[nsfbr]

I think you need to avoid doing anything now that will cause you to hold on to the pain that

is obvious (at least to this divorced (and now happily remarried!) person). The truth is that if

you can bring yourself to give copies of the images to your ex, it may help you heal in the

long term. It may not be something that you can do now, but perhaps in a year or two?

 

Good luck.

[ezra_pollack1]

if your photos are already digital, you must be a real jerk to not give a copy. I assume each file is about 1MB so it'll take around 6 DVDs. Or you can put it on a portable hard drive. it's no big deal. And it's easier to just copy it all than to select specific pics. But seriously, why keep them from your ex? Do you have kids from the marriage? Does your ex have any less right to see those memories? And even if they're not digital, it's not such a big deal to hire a place to scan them. For 25,000 photos it would make more sense to just buy a fast scanner for $1000 or so. But for a few thousand, those places are a much better option then doing it yourself. And if you are keeping the photos yourself, you should split the cost. How do you know he wouldn't have taken pictures if you hadn't done so?