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YOU BIG DUMMY !!!


jwhite3.0

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My other subject title was going to be "Darwin Awards for Photography". I

figured we should start off the weekend with a little comedy.

 

 

Prompt for this thread: a quote from someone interviewed on NPR, "My goal in

life is to make many mistakes everyday." Definitely something to strive for

whether in photography or cooking or whatever else that interests you.

 

 

Question: What is the dumbest and/or funniest thing you've done or heard about

related to photography that you think would help out a beginner or even someone

experienced? Maybe it is a second-hand story but please leave out names.

 

 

My answer: Hmmm, I have a bad memory or just been lucky...I used to stack 2-3

crappy filters on crappy lenses or I tried switching out lenses while standing

up and placed the removed lens on top of a shoulder bag that was still on my

shoulder. Guess what happened? Thunk!!!! Hopefully your responses will be

more entertaining than mine. There's got to be a story out there about someone

taking pictures while riding a bike and then hitting a tree (but surviving of

course).

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Don't know how funny or stupid it really is, but under the heading of helping beginners or even experienced salts, I point to a lengthy conversation we had on here months back regarding how wide angle lenses don't affect DOF, contrary to common perception. I know it was a paradigm I wasn't ready to give up until some very patient and thoughtful individuals were kind enough to show me photographic proof.
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1) When crossing into a cow field take note; Alumunum tripods make excellent conductors for electrified fences.

 

2) In the battle between Deet (in Insect repellent) and plastic camera bodies/lenses Deet always wins. (it will melt the equipment)

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My most recent accident with any actual loss was on a tour boat down the Thames when I was in London with my then Fiance. I was unscrewing the lens cap on my 135mm lens by hitting it with my fingers instead of carefully twisting it with a full hand grip and spun it right off and into the river (you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find a 47mm lens cap in London when you are just site seeing, no one had one). There are some other ones. On my honeymoon I was reviewing some of the pictures from the 13 rolls of film I took over the 12 days and picture number two of the second roll of film from Morocco was of some nice gentleman's bum in front of me. I still can't figure out how I managed to hit the shutter button with the camera dangling on my neck strap (or how in the heck the shot was almost in focus with a manual focus camera!)

 

I think my only spectacular accident while photographing was trying to take a macro shot of an old magazine I have from the war of 1812 (dated June 1813) behind some glass. Well I had my 50mm f/1.8 on my Olympus om-1 with a macro correction lens on the end of it and was trying to focus in as close as possible almost up against the glass. Turns out the glass was closer then I thought and I was moving in WAY to fast. Needless to say the lens won out and the display glass broke (thankfully the magazine/newsprint was fine) the lens was fine, but my eye was sore from where it smacked into the view finder and the lens needed some cleaning (but amazingly was fine, probably because the ring took the hit, not the lens glass). It taught me to be careful when shooting through glass, it is closer then it appears through the view finder!

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Hmmm my stupidity is not that I ahve 3 580ex's, but what I did with them.

 

I dropped two of them from ~4-5ft within minutes of each other.

 

My third one never worked right to begin with.

 

Why couldn't have dropped that one?!?!?!

 

On a good note, they all still work!

 

-Mario

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I've been spending a lot of time chasing bird dogs around in the field while they chase pheasants. Lots of visual interest, to say the least - not to mention that stimulating possibility that while you're trying to shoot pictures, someone else may <i>actually</i> shoot you. However: I left a bag full of gear at the base of a tree while tailing one brace of dogs and their handlers. Getting back to the spot to catch up with the next brace, I had the pleasure of seeing one of them lifting his leg on the tree...

<br><br>

Turns out that if you're quick, you can get the stuff out of your nylon bag before the offending chemicals actually soak through. It was the stupidest excuse I can think of for buying a new pack, but I do like that new Crumpler a lot (though it is also not dog-proof, so I've learned to hang it from a branch!).

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Friend of mine, now deceased, a combat photog in Viet Nam, son of a professional photographer, grabbed his camera one night and headed to a large, very photogenic nearby fire, no other photogs around, shooting happily away, already counting the $$ he'd get from the local paper, etc., wondered just how many shots were on that roll of film as it seemed he'd fired a lot, and of course it was empty

 

Me, I just double exposed a roll in Yellowstone with my absolute best elk and only decent moose shots on it

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LOL at Andre. I made a similar mistake and bought a Moskva-5.<P>

I was at Columbus Circle in NYC with my Kodak Medalist II (old fully manual 6x9 RF) and tripod and wanted to photograph a statue. I set up the tripod, attached the camera, composed my shot carefully, metered my subject with my 35mm SLR, set the shutter speed, set the aperture, actually remembered to remove the lens cap, waited until some kids got out of the way, and CLICK! took the photo. Imagine my mirth when I realized that I never actually <i>focused</i> the camera on the statue.

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Actually the closest I ever came to earning the honoray Photographic Darwin Award was in North Carolina. I was working my way down a steep cliff to get a better view of a waterfall, equipment on my back, when I put my leg in the wrong place. I was suddenly attacked by a large swam of wasps or hornets. I slide down the cliff grabbing trees and scrubs as I kept wacking the buggers (would you believe they actually chased me down?). Fortunately the small trees broke kept me from sliding too far, and my equipment came out of the tumble fine.

 

Naturally, however, I'm somewhat allergic to bee stings so I had to climb out ASAP and find a pharmacy in the middle of nowhere at 4:30 on a Saturday.

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I was photographing models with a real Tiger,when the male or Female Tiger, I can't remember which, walked over and proceded to stand over and fill up my Domke bag with urine. It only had one lens in it at the time which cleaned up ok , but even after washing the bag out several times it still smelled like urine.
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If you're using a camera with manual advance, always make sure the rewind crank is spinning before shooting anything important!

 

Along with that, don't open the back until you've rewound.

 

Finally, if you're in the habit of putting an exposed roll of film in your pocket, as I am, don't forget to check your pockets before you wash your pants.

 

Thankfully, I've only lost one roll of film to each of the above-once was enough to learn my lesson.

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These are all very good. I liked Jerry's story about his dad shooting an entire wedding with the lens cap on. I had to look up the Canon AF35M because I thought maybe this was a rangefinder. Nope. Ah, and the double exposure incident at Yellowstone. Probably will never happen again and I'm sure there is some Buddhist-type moral of the story. These type of accounts put an additional layer of story behind the actual subject/scene being captured.

 

 

Ok, as it gets later in the night I expect photo.neters who have had dinner and wine to come thru with stories of shooting a fashion show but not realizing his/her underwear was over the pants instead of under.

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Dropped the 50 f/1.4 and dinged the filter ring. Dropped the 50 f/1.7 and dinged the filter ring. Dropped the whole camera, back popped open and exposed a few frames. Got to #28 on a 24-exposure roll of film before I figured out it didn't load right. Opened the back on my old box camera and discovered I'd left film in it. Took a few Holga shots with the lens cap.
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