Worst possible punishment for a photographer ?

<p>Given a scenario where you were convicted of some photography crime, what would you consider the worst possible punishment (as a photographer) that the judge could impose or sentence you to?</p>

Open his/her camera right after that once in a lifetime photo and expose the film. Or- take away his/her Kodachrome-

never mind, Kodak already did that.

Seriously, ban the photographer from specific events for one month.

<p>The worse that could happen for us photographers is that the judge dismisses the case with the argument that photography is not serious enough to produce any risk of serious crimes. </p>

<p>Judge: "This photographer's offense is undeniable. I have no choice but to impose the most seriously penalty, which will impact the photographer for the rest of his life."<br /><br />Courtroom Audience: "Gasp!"<br /><br />Judge: "That's right, a 4/4. This is an average photograph."<br /><br />Photographer: "But I used a wide angle lens and saturated the sunset!"<br /><br />Judge: "Never the less."<br /><br />Photographer: "What if I agreed to answer twenty sports photography questions in the Beginner's Forum?"<br /><br />Judge: "Hmmm. It's tempting, but no. We have constitutional protections against cruel and unusual punishment."<br /><br />Photographer: "How about if I agree to shoot only street photography in black and white for the next month?"<br /><br />Judge: "OK, you're off the hook."<br /><br />Courtroom Audience: <em>*golf applause*</em></p>

<p>Well done, Matt! I won't even try to follow that :-))</p>

<p>What William said!</p>

<p>Remember the old joke about the "bad" golfer who died and went to hell ? When he arrived he found himself at a beautiful perfectly manicured golf course every bit as nice as Augusta national. He was greeted by perfect weather, his own caddy, no other players, and a brand new set of clubs measured and fitted just for him. When he asked the devil how this could be hell, the reply was-----there are NO golf balls ! Well----for photographers, the punishment might be perfect shooting conditions at anyplace and time in the world, the most beautiful and desirable subjects, brand new camera's of any make and any model and any format, any lens of any type, focal length, speed wanted or possible, But----no film or memory cards!!!!!!!<br>

It would have to be a pretty bad offense to merit this kind of punishment. </p>

<p>Confiscation of Rolleiflex and sentenced to life in digital.<br>

And life means life, no time off for good exposure.</p>

<p>That's an easy one:<br />Judge: "You are now and forever restricted to offering comments in one forum...and one forum only - the Philosophy of Photography Forum. You are hereby sentenced to initiate and participate in a philosophical discussion regarding the ongoing contributions of the camera strap in keeping us all from going "adrift" in our quest to understand the effect of "lyricism"...as it applies to photography."</p>

<p>Jerry, Back in the days when I was an avid golfer I used to have nightmares in which I was lining up a putt, only to look down and find that the ball is egg shaped. Now that I don't golf, those dreams have been replaced with finding the perfect photo opportunity, but I can't find my camera...or that I've left it sitting beside the road on a tripod...hundreds of yards behind me and I'm in a foot race to see if I can retrieve it before someone else drives along and snatches it.</p>

<p>Blinding of both eyes.</p>

<p>Let them have all the equipment that they want, but no batteries - frustration factor 11/10.</p>

<p>spectacular photo opp, lots of film, lots of lenses to choose from, no camera body.</p>

<p><em>"...those dreams have been replaced with finding the perfect photo opportunity, but can't find my camera...or that I've left it sitting beside the road on a tripod...hundreds of yards behind me and I'm in a foot race to see if I can retrieve it before someone else drives along and snatches it."</em></p>

<p>John, sounds like an ideal topic for your first presentation in the Philosophy of Photography forum. ("Lyricism of displaced post-golf insecurities, or The Camera That Can't Be Found; camera-separation anxiety manifesting as visual <em>cris de coeur</em> from the personal portfolio")</p>

<p>The discussion could go on for years....</p>

<p> </p>

<p>Ernest, I'm all over it. I can't thank you enough! Now...back to research for my POP thread. </p>

<p>hmm...high-speed collision between a 1ds3 or d3x and my head?</p>

<p>How about a dozen years of wedding photography? Oh wait, that was my career.</p>

<p>Take away all of their photo gear, forbid them any use of a computer, and give them a choice for the rest of the photography career of a speed graphic with one lens and no light meter or a lifetime supply of the cheapest film p&s camera made.</p>

<blockquote>

<p>Let them have all the equipment that they want, but no batteries</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Batteries?!?<br>

We don't need no stinkin' batteries!</p>

<p>The court confiscates all my equipment, replaces it with a Holga, and orders me to post questions about it hourly on the Leica forum...</p>

<p><em>"The court confiscates all my equipment, replaces it with a Holga, and orders me to post questions about it hourly on the Leica forum..."</em></p>

<p>Not even Dick Cheney--if he were the judge, and he thought you were a terrorist--would subject you to <em>that</em> ....</p>

<p>Have a wife that thinks photography is trivial.</p>

<p>Which I guess is why I'm not married. Really, who would not just love to have a dunk and dip processor in the living room?</p>

 

<blockquote>

<p>Let them have all the equipment that they want, but no batteries - frustration factor 11/10.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Then I ask for mechanical cameras and a selenium meter :)</p>

<p>Mine would involve a Ken Rockwell photo tour. In this rain storm. (Seriously, what is this going to be, four days of rain and gale force winds? I just bailed out my mother's basement with a shop vac and I'll have to do it again tomorrow and the next day.)</p>

 

<p>I got "convicted" by my parner(the judge) for taking a bad angle shot of her.<br>

The punishment : Cook your own dinner.</p>

<p>kc</p>

<p>Judge: I blow my nose in your sensors general direction, you silly, camera type, you.</p>