Shooting beautiful women and being married .....

[brian_keller]

Let me ask this question to those photographers who shoot beautiful

women and are married - Do you ever have problems with wife jelousy

or your wife not wanting you to shoot revealing shots? Are most

serious professional glamour or glamour/nude photographers married or

for the majority is this a single persons profession? Just wondering

about this .....

[john_cook1]

In the early years when you and your wife are still young and foolish there can be problems and misunderstandings.

 

As you both mature, you learn that extreme physical beauty is only one of many female attributes. There is such a thing as a beautiful, intelligent, sexy, exciting jerk. Which is an accurate description of many of the famous models I have worked with. Fun to look at, but you wouldn�t want to take one home.

 

Facing the challenges of daily life, year after year, with such a partner could be compared with trying to plow snow for a living with a Ferrari sports car. Absolute impractical insanity.

 

As you and your wife grow together over the years into warm, comfortable and deeply-trusting partners, you will enjoy a giggle with each other over the dinner table about the selfish, foolish antics of the studio bimbo of the day.

[kevin_hundsnurscher]

You're question is very timely for me. My girlfriend of 6 years and I recently had a <i>heated</i> discussion about this.<br>

We've never had an issue where she's outright accused me or thought I was sleeping with a model. The real jealousy (I think) comes from not being confident that I would decline a model's advances or attempts to seduce me.<br>

I've actually talked to model who's husband is trying to get into the same kind of photography work and she's mentioned it to me a couple of times that she's very afraid of girls hitting on him during a photoshoot.<br>

<br>

I haven't figured out a way to address that issue. Reassuring my girlfriend doesn't seem to help as she always argues that I can't predict the future. But neither can she.<br>

[Allen Herbert]

Do you ever have problems with wife jelousy or your wife

 

Love em and leave them, that's what my mate Mike Dixon told me.

[todd frederick]

Why not invite your wife to participate in your photography as well: either as a model and/or as a co-photographer, make-up artist, "spotter" (for hair, shadows, backgrounds, jewelery placement, posing suggestions, etc). Getting her involved could defuse the problem completely and help her become more positive about what you are doing.

[todd frederick]

I would also like to add a word of serious caution:

 

I suggest that you never do any photography with any woman (clothed or unclothed) without having someone with you during the session.

 

In the 1970's and early 1980's, I never gave a second thought to doing "glamour" photography on a one-on-one basis. The attitudes were different then.

 

Sorry to say, now days it seems that there are far too many ladies who are quick to make accusations of improper sexual advances...ie: Governor Arnold S. and Kobe Bryant.

 

It would be much better to have your wife help out or hire an assistant than place yourself in harm's way.

 

I would never do any such photography again without a witness present.

[john_cook1]

Amen to that, Todd. My dentist tells me he can no longer see female patients without his female dental assistant in the room. This means that if my wife breaks a tooth on the weekend he cannot help her on an emergency basis as he often does me. What a world!

[Allen Herbert]

Todd, you could sneak, as long as your not caught. Hey, life is a gamble!...got to have a bit of fun, long time pushing daisy's.

[walter_degroot]

i was never really intersted in MODELS. but my b-i-l was- a lot.

this is a true story...

he took some pictures of a gal that was interested in becoming a model. they were the kind of nudes, as i understand it, that were not porno but were sort of AHh.. clinical.

her boyfriend found out about they photos and wanted them returned.

he agreed to return them, it was a 20 mile drive. when the BF and his buddy went outside to hide in the trees with shotguns, she got scared and called the police. then intercepeted the photographer on the road., and managed to capture the pair of shooters.

It was the girl's idea to have photos taken and the photographer was "chaperoned". soon after that , he sold all his cameras.

he gave me all his darkroom equipment. it really happened!

[mike dixon]

Allen's making sh*t up again--I never said such a thing to

anyone.

 

The issue isn't really glamour photography--it's trust between

you and your wife/husband/significant other. Suspicious

spouses are hardly limited to photographers.

 

I don't understand Todd's reasoning. It would make more sense

to say never be alone around women if you have money or fame-

-those are the traits of the men in the cases he notes, not that

they are photographers. Or you could as easily argue that you

simply should never be alone around women (since

photography is not the issue). I'll stick to my strategy of treating

women with respect and accepting the risk that I may run into

one who's completely nuts rather than treating all women with

suspicion and only being around them if we have a chaperone.

[Allen Herbert]

Allen's making sh*t up again--I never said such a thing to anyone.

 

Yes you did, ask Todd, he will confirm.

 

Do you really believe anyone took that remark in a serious way ? methinks not. Just poking your funny bones..'love and leave them', really, folk know you better. hopefully. Thanks for the smile...Regards

[todd frederick]

When I was teaching elementary school we were advised both by our school district and by our union never to be in a room alone with a student, male or female. Who knows what motives anyone has for making accusations? I simply suggest caution when working alone with a model, especially in a glamour/nude venue, rich and famous, or not. I think it's a wise policy. I think it's better to err on the side of caution. That's my opinion, although I could be wrong.

[mike dixon]

Again with the examples that have nothing to do with

photography . . . A bit of bad news for you: anyone can make

accusations of inappropriate behavior! If a model is crazy and

mean enough to lie about what you did, she could always claim

that she saw a hidden camera in your bathroom when she was

shooting with you. Can she prove it? No. Can she prove you

groped her when the two of you were alone (whether you did or

not)? No. I think your chaperone is a lot like those extra security

marching around in airports: good for providing a sense of

safety, but not very effective for actually protecting you from the

real threat.

[EricM]

I laughed...

 

I really liked John's responce. But also consider that if someone gets jelous, someone will get jelous. You don't need the factor of photography for this. Perhaps you trouble walking through a supermarket too? It's tough sometimes doing what you love, and i second Todd's motion, get her involved if possible, also maybe balance your shooting out by using male subjects. There is a way of making it work

[jay_de_fehr]

As usual I don't have a lot to add to John Cook's advice, but that doesn't stop me from posting anyway.

I've been married for 17 years, and despite being irresistable to women, my wife inexplicably doesn't get jealous of my photographic subjects. What is she thinking? Oh yeah, now I remember; she's thinking that she's the most beautiful of my subjects, and my talking her into marrying me was a fluke and I know it. Every morning that I wake up beside her is a pleasant surprise. I guess it's a confidence thing. I don't envy your situation, and I hope that your wife comes around. Good luck.

[todd frederick]

I am pleased that my comments of caution aroused some debate. That is good.

 

I enjoy figure photography and I like to do it in a positive context.

 

Having one's wife or girlfriend (or boyfriend) involved is a plus as far as I'm concerned.

[phil r calgary ab canada]

good call, same question on my mind, as a college photography student, single but not looking for anyone makes it a more interesting question, so i'll be thinking on it from now on, i have few clues about being married and am still developing my style of portrait photography

 

other people on a shoot eases situation, to be a witness if unfortunately necessary, but always seems to make it easier to establish that bit about shooting and trust

 

a proper model release eases worries from your mind about a shoot, gives the whole affair a more formal mood, there's a release for nudity as well

 

awesome idea to invite your wife/girlfriend to a photoshoot and show her it's not what she imagined. Never thought about jealously with my girl over any portrait shoots, maybe should have taken her to a shoot anyways to help her understand. It's not an easy emotion to describe photography. Was ok with her when she saw the images.

 

tend to tell her everything about my shoots; mostly because they are amusing stuff, just understanding her view and telling her about how much you love to shoot and that's all objective, just lighting and flattering poses

 

on reflection, i've had smoother intimate relationships going with other photographers and artists, understanding my art, if trust is there, keep shooting if not work it out with patience, thanks for the topic to pose to married photographers, to add to it:

 

how do you keep that distance to be getting a seductive look or even a simple smile without a kind word, flirtation or joke to get a tense or shy model loosened up and not give the wrong impression

 

it's such a hard balance, i've gotten lots of signals -- even phone numbers offered -- from models and besides the flattery and ego what do you do?

 

gooday

 

phil

[nabman - montreal, canada]

My wife will be jealous even if I am shot at by beautiful models :)

 

Seriously, I never worked with models (maybe I should, though, if all they do is hit on the photographer), but if onday I will, I'm sure my wife will love to provide assistance (makeup, clothing, etc.)

 

Good questions and interesting debate.

[constance_cook]

Flip it over. If your wife photographed young, grogeous, beautifully -built young men, how would you feel? Would you want to be there? Would you want to participate in oiling (I'm not sure what you do with men) etc.?

 

This is a serious question. It is not a troll. I really do wonder how men feel about this.

Conni

[gary_watson]

Does your wife allow you into supermarkets/dept.stores/malls unchaperoned, Brian? Loads of temptation there, too. I take it as a mildly insulting, sexist proposition that men are drooling, priapic dolts who'd attack a rip in fur coat.For every sorry perv like Bob Shell there are thousands of pros on either side of the camera who don't lose sight of the assignment.

[jay_de_fehr]

Constance,

I love photography, and while oily hunks are not my favorite subject, it's still photography and if my wife was interested, and asked for my help, I'd be happy to give it. On the other hand, I would not feel the NEED to chapperone my wife or her models. I don't see any gender issue here.

[todd frederick]

Am I wrong to assume that it is more "dangerous" for a man to photograph a woman than it is for a woman to photograph a man, (especially with figure photography), with regard to possible accusations, jealousy, and such? It seems to me that men are more likely to be accused of improper conduct by a woman than it is for women to be accused by a man. Jealousy is a different issue. I think jealousy goes both ways.

 

I do think getting your wife or girlfriend involved is a good approach.

 

I taught a number of figure photography classes through adult education in the '80s, and that was much safer since there were at least 10 or more people involved, including many women. I can't recall every doing such photography without at least one other person with me. I just enjoy doing photography with other photographers.

 

The model release idea is good. At least that places the activity in a more formal and professional context.

 

In our younger years my wife posed for me many times as well.

 

Some of you probably know Bob Todrick, whose number one model is his wife. I think he sometimes posts images on this forum. If your wife or girl friend is willing, she can be a good model for you, and vice versa...you can pose for her.

 

I think there are many ways to avoid this jealousy and accusation problem.

[EricM]

Gary, who's Bob Shell?

[john_cook1]

The real key issue here is not so much sex, but money. Even the most serious of us is in danger of occasionally spending too much expensive studio time making �portfolio pictures� of subjects we like to shoot (as personal therapy for boredom). Professional photography can be very costly when there is no buyer for the pictures.

 

I have sometimes been guilty of enjoying myself too much, for too long when the chance presented itself to work with a new de Thomaso Mangusta race car, an extra-cuddly child, my neighbor�s new litter of puppies AND a foxy model wanting to test. I have been particularly vulnerable to this kind of �inspiration� immediately after completing a grueling three-week shoot of toilet seats or industrial casters, with a client who acted like his home was in a tree.

 

Speaking of money, there is nothing like professional modeling fees to help you keep your mind on business. When �portfolio time� is over and the shooting is for a real assignment, everything changes. My wife is acutely aware of my powers of concentration when the bimbo�s agent is charging up to ten thousand dollars per day. My home mortgage is riding on it.

[brian_keller]

Thanks guys! I'm glad I posed the question. Actually, my girlfriend appreciates my hobby and she loves to get involved (ie participates in the model shoot etc...). Sometimes, however, its an issue when I want to shoot something more riske - in a sense, I almost have to get her approval which at times destroys the artistic side of it.