Girlfriend (or wife) vs. Photography

[studio460]

<p>Actual conversation with my GF:</p>

<p>"Hey, guess what?"<br /> "What?"<br /> "I might get a chance to shoot a swimwear catalog!"<br /> "You mean 'bikinis?'"<br /> "Yeah, bikinis."<br /> "Why do you want to shoot girls in bikinis?"</p>

<p>Try and figure out a good answer to <em>that</em> one!</p>

[bojepsen1]

<p>I know this has little to do with resolving the problem at hand, but I find this little snippet rather funny (and let me state, quite categorically, that I do know the difference between shooting a person with a camera, and shooting a person with a gun): "(photography came while) I was in the military. For me finding people to shoot is not an issue".</p>

<p>Regarding the issue at hand, I think there have been many good suggestions as to how it might be resolved. I do, however, think that it might be one of those pesky illogical problems with which we sometimes have to grapple, and which therefore might be somewhat tricky to resolve. I suspect that no amount of reassuring will make your girlfriend 100 percent satisfied that your motives are purely artistic in nature. She might also not want to be part of the process, but I do think that getting her into it, as has been suggested above, is the better solution. Even then it might still remain an unsatsfiable issue out of the reach of reason.</p>

[studio460]

 

<p>Alan said . . .</p>

<blockquote>

<p>Let's cut to the chase. Have you ever cheated on your girlfriend with one of your models? Have you ever thought about it? If the answer is yes to either, then you're kidding yourself with your relationship with your girlfriend.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Perhaps the more provocative question is, "If any model were to offer herself to you, would you take her up on it?"</p>

 

[studio460]

<p>Here are the strategies that I employ (although, they may not apply to the OP since his chosen area of study is unrelated to his photo subjects):</p>

<p>1. I make a "professional," or "career" argument as to why shooting pretty girls will help advance such goals.<br />2. I explain the dollar figure that learning these these skills are potentially worth. In Los Angeles, any headshot photographer worth his/her salt goes for $500 for a few hours of shooting.<br />3. Lastly, I make the artistic argument. Physically beautiful subjects are nice to photograph.</p>

<p>Other tactics include, pre-informing your significant other about what you're planning to shoot. I mention bits of information regarding contacting models, and setting things up ahead of time. This tactic seems to work quite well. But I do draw the line at, "No." No one is ever going to tell me what or who I can or cannot shoot. Also, I refuse to destroy photos of ex-GFs. Good luck!</p>

[rlausch]

<blockquote>

<p>Let's cut to the chase. Have you ever cheated on your girlfriend with one of your models? Have you ever thought about it? If the answer is yes to either, then you're kidding yourself with your relationship with your girlfriend.</p>

 

</blockquote>

<p>No of course I have not, the issue just concerns me shooting them.</p>

[henryp]

<blockquote>

<p>A large amount of my photography is of women, I love to capture the beauty of the opposite sex. I have explained this to my girlfriend and she still isn't the biggest fan of it...</p>

</blockquote>

<p>My dad was an OB/GYN, now retired. Somehow my mother managed to cope with the fact that his entire job was dealing with naked women. They're married 64 years.</p>

<p> - Henry Posner</p>

[ted_suss]

<p>Is your photography of women a profession or a hobby?</p>

[rlausch]

<p>Hobby, but that is part of it, I shoot other things as well.</p>

[ted_suss]

<p>Sorry, but you should expect her to be concerned if your hobby is photographing other women. Wouldn't you be concerned if she perhaps played tennis once or twice a week and always with a different man?</p>

[Tim_Lookingbill]

<p>Henry, comparing this to your dad's OB/GYN practice as a fidelity check is a bit of a stretch don't you think. I mean there's a whole other different perspective when you have to view women in a manner simulated in this mirror trick video...</p>

<p>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goubYt8AiXU</p>

<p>Warning it's not what you think. I first saw this video on Comedy Central's Tosh.O.</p>

<p>But the real question that hasn't been asked is if Robert has told his girlfriend about this thread and if so, wonder if she's reading it and her thoughts on the discussion.</p>

[Norma Desmond]

<p>I must say that a lot of these concerns sound a bit weird for two people that supposedly love and respect each other. A guy can't photograph women (though I think the concentration on "pretty" women, or finding only this kind of "beauty" -- looks-oriented -- is interesting) and a woman couldn't play tennis with other men? Why? How immature are we all? How demanding of our partners' sole attention? And to what end? It all sounds like a whole lot of uptightness and creating boxes for ourselves and our mates. A little honesty, a little acknowledgment that having a girlfriend might not be the end of our roving eye or mind, and same for having a boyfriend, might go a long way. Just like "beauty" has been unrealistically and somewhat superficially idealized in thread, so have relationships. </p>

[ted_suss]

<p>Now that there are 58 posts on this thread, what does this really have to do with photography?</p>

[rlausch]

<p>I began to wonder the same thing... how do I close this? haha</p>

[Norma Desmond]

<blockquote>

<p>what does this really have to do with photography?</p>

</blockquote>

<p>It should have a lot to do with the photographs, but no one wants to go there. </p>

[Spearhead]

<p>This is really about relationships, not photography. It really belongs in the Off-Topic Forum.</p>

[rlausch]

<p>haha it started as photography... I think it just needs to be closed...</p>

[seth_.]

<p>It's a thread about "Girlfriend vs Photography", so it's about both, but mainly about Girlfriend!<br>

Women and logic don't really go together, IMO.</p>

<p>My own attitude is this - I'm going to do my best to be honest. I also give my wife the benefit of the doubt and I trust her, because everybody that deserves trust should be trusted. So I'm not going to let the green-eyed monster get a foot in the door - it's pointless to live your life in fear.<br>

If a better man came along and took my wife from me, then I really would have to concede that I should have known or acted better!</p>

<p>Some people have insecurities, and these things can eat at them. I think that it is, more often than not, difficult to be secure in relationships. It is kind of human nature - more specifically, the animal instincts we all have. But we are more than animals, and these things (like insecurity, jealousy) can be overcome if we think the right way. It can take a long time for someone to develop an immunity to jealousy and face life head-on.</p>

<p>Just my opinions.</p>

<p>If you think your photography is worthwhile, then I hope you and your g/f can concentrate on the actual important things in life (I would say - expressing yourself/being constructive or creative/learning/teaching/showing respect/helping others) rather than the unknown/intangible/suspected/imagined/projected things or fear.</p>

 

[john_h.1]

<blockquote>

<p>My dad was an OB/GYN, now retired. Somehow my mother managed to cope with the fact that his entire job was dealing with naked women. They're married 64 years.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Serving a professional purpose, in that way, is a dramatically different scenario that doing something for kicks out of "love to capture the beauty of the opposite sex".</p>

<blockquote>

<p>Actual conversation with my GF:<br /> "Hey, guess what?"<br /> "What?"<br /> "I might get a chance to shoot a swimwear catalog!"<br /> "You mean 'bikinis?'"<br /> "Yeah, bikinis."<br /> "Why do you want to shoot girls in bikinis?"<br /> Try and figure out a good answer to <em>that</em> one!</p>

</blockquote>

<p>That, likewise, is generally done for professional money making purposes which answers that question easily.</p>

<blockquote>

<p>Wouldn't you be concerned if she perhaps played tennis once or twice a week and always with a different man?</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Perhaps, but its not specifically designed "to capture the beauty of the opposite sex".</p>

[carlos_austin]

<p>Hey Robert,<br>

You left some details out of your question.<br>

For example...do you get paid for taking pictures of women? Are you selling the results back to the women or using them for shows etc?<br>

What it is exactly you want your girlfriend to do about you taking pictures of women? Assist you?<br>

Are the pictures with clothes or no clothes? Swimsuits...taken in a studio or location?<br>

Are the women of all ages?<br>

If you are making a living of this...your girlfriend should be happy that you are making a living as a photographer. If she is insecure or you are tempted, then that is a problem both of you ought to work out.<br>

Just a few questions that might clarify what your intentions are with both the other women and how your girlfriend fits into the scheme of things.<br>

I work with my wife and this has never been an issue. We photography women, newborns, families, weddings, etc.</p>

[dan_south]

<p>You are NOT going to win this argument, and she is NOT going to change her mind. But here's a strategy that might work.</p>

<p>Photograph male nudes exclusively for a while, perhaps several years.. Come home and show her the photos. Talk longingly and incessantly about the magnificence of your "beautiful" models and their ("ahem") features. Tell her often how proud you are of "your guys." Take your models out for coffee frequently and come home smelling like their aftershave. Maybe after a few months or years of this she'll get worried and suggest that you go back to photographing women. Maybe. But I kind of doubt it.</p>

[Fotos53]

<p>Just a thought...you might search the forums at ModelMayhem.com for your answer. I'm sure that it's in there somewhere. ModelMayhem is the biggest site of it's kind for photographers and models. I think it also has the most traffic. I'm sure that you have heard of it and if you haven't you should know about it.</p>

<p> </p>

[Norma Desmond]

<p>Dan, I don't know about Robert, but I think I'm going to take your advice, diving in head first. :-)</p>

[rashedahmed]

<p>Women do not like to share her husband/boyfriend with other woman. They are always afraid of it. So, the next possible thing is a sex change. ha ha.</p>

[moi1]

<p>An insecure person is very hard to live with...I have tried in the past and it never lasted because if she he/she can stop you from taking pix of women, next he/she'll try to stop you from taking pictures of your family and so on and so on!</p>

[seth_.]

<p>Don't worry, once you start photographing girls, you'll find a new girlfriend in record time!<br>

*ducks*</p>