Professionally shooting while traveling with significant other

[elizabeth_carbone]

Hi Everyone,

Just a little background...before I was married I was never able to afford traveling much. Now that I am married (no kids), my husband and I

have gone on several trips together and I continue to have the same problem. He wants me to take my professional digital SLR camera and

lenses along with us on vacation. I do not.

 

The reason is because when I have my equipment with me I feel compelled as a photographer to shoot...a lot. Partly, because I am trained as

a photographer to shoot an image when I come across something that piques my aesthetic/artistic interest, and partly because I am in a

different frame of mind when I have my professional equipment with me.

 

As it stands now, if I take my professional SLR camera (which I always do because he insists I'll miss out on some good photo opportunities if I

don't) one of two scenarios ends up happening:

1. I shoot a ton of pictures and he's miserable, bored and feeling resentful. Because of this I feel guilty for using up so much of our time

together shooting pictures, and end up rushing myself so I'm not able to shoot the quality imagery I normally would achieve anyway.

2. I restrain myself mightily and only take a small handful (couple hundred) of images, and feel guilty because I'm not taking the pictures I

want to take and he's still upset/impatient with me anyway.

 

He insists that I should be able to "control" myself more like a "normal" adult and not take so many pictures (I'm still not sure what "so many" is

in his book). This is from a person who may shoot 3-4 rolls of film while on a 17-day, first-time trip to Italy. When I'm working as a

photographer, I can easily shoot 8-10 rolls worth per day or at a 12-hour wedding 3000+ images. Part of that is how I was trained and part of

that is my shooting style (I hone in on a subject and shoot multiple angles/compositions/depths-of-field in order to capture the best possible

image).

 

My solution would be to purchase a good high-end point and shoot that still allows me a fair amount of control in the outcome of the image so

that the quality is still there. For one thing, the camera would weigh much less (we're talking a minimum of 15-20 pounds of equipment

otherwise) and be easier to carry along while we walk places. For another, I wouldn't have to worry about my expensive equipment "growing

legs" in the hotel room. And thirdly, I wouldn't feel the same level of compulsion toward taking pictures and I would be able to enjoy our

vacation together much more.

 

I think that I should just take a decent point and shoot on our vacations together, and only shoot the fun stuff. That way he's enjoying himself

and I'm enjoying myself more because we are spending time together and I'm not working. And I won't care as much about how the pictures

turn out either. I figure that I need to start setting aside a little extra money for me to take a couple short/week-long "working" trips by myself,

and stop worrying that I'm never going to get to "that part of the world" again.

 

When I see a great picture unfolding before me I can't, in good conscience and as a professional photographer, not shoot what I see. So...how

would you guys handle this problem?

Sorry this is so long...

Elizabeth

[masuro]

You husband feels bored and resentful when you take lots of photos with your professional kit but it is

he who insists you take it. Being bored while you shoot away is his own fault, really. Although it

should be clear enough after a few trips, I think you should explain to him that it is impossible for you

not to spend a lot of time with the cameras if you bring them. Perhaps you could bring a small film

camera and tell him that, although small, film is film regardless of camera size and you will get high

quality photographs from it. Or ask him to buy you something like the Canon G10. I've read the image

quality is amazing for a compact camera.

I am not a professional but I've brought my D300 and lots of lenses on trips and it isn't much fun. I feel

too guilty for spending so much time taking photographs. My wife doesn't mind because she enjoys

looking at the photos later but I feel rushed, just the same. Also, all that equipment is heavy. When we

travel next year I'm going to bring a Nikon F80, one 24-85mm zoom, and a 50mm lens for low light. It's

a fairly light kit and I can have fun while getting high-quality images. Film takes up space but it isn't

heavy so I am not worried about that.

By the way, your post was well written so I didn't feel it was long.

[angkordave]

It sounds to me as though you have an obsession with photography. I enjoy photography on a working and pleasure basis; but once photography starts to damage relationships then it’s time to look seriously at why you are doing it.

Photography is great for those who indulge yet can be boring for those who don't. If you haven’t got your partner involved (which I am sure you must have ) then do so. I have seen many photographers partners using a video cameras which can be an absorbing way of recording your trip. Otherwise just take minimal equipment; and try to switch off .

Buying extra equipment a P+S camera is not a solution; analyzing your relationship and priorities in life will probably a better solution in the long term.

[mark_james]

I agree that this can be difficult. Communication, honesty, and respect, are at the heart of the solution for me. I'm a serious amateur and I've traveled to Germany and Greece with my wife. I married late, so I was pretty set in my ways. Similar for my wife. I always felt that I was holding us back, but she was supportive to a point. I guess for me, I had to be honest about the importance of what I was shooting and clear with my wife as well as myself about my goals. Sometimes I realized the shots would ultimately go nowhere and move on, but sometimes I had to ask for more time.

 

It's also worthwhile to ask if this is really a vacation, working vacation, or just work. Are you going to pay for the vacation for the trip with photos and a magazine article? If so, there's clear value in getting the shot. On the other hand, if it's a vacation, the G10 sounds like a great idea (sure beats 20 lbs of equipment!).

 

Good Luck!

[williams_gallery]

In my marriage my wife knows I take photography very seriously - therefore I would not get in "photography mode" on vacation. I am going on a trip this Jan for 10 days and she will not be there. If I go on a trip to shoot, it is "work" in every sense of the word, and so she understands I am working at that time and not vacationing. That said, there's no reason you couldn't make some great photographs about your personal time with your husband, or about this dilemma - there are no rules!

[pjmeade]

My wife knows that if I don't have at least one camera with me, within a couple of minutes I'll see something I would want to photograph and I'd wish I had them. I would still have the photographer's eye and would still want to shoot.

 

Have you considered buying a more advanced P&S? You could shoot, but perhaps not feel quite so compelled to go into work mode. It's an option I'm thinking about.

 

Good luck. P

[mariosforsos]

At the risk of sounding a bit like a pedantic Zen monk, life is about balance. And balance cannot be found in either NOT doing

what makes you happy - which is taking pictures - NOR in spending all your time doing so and thereby completely and utterly

forsaking the other person's needs and wants. And no, I don't think the P&S solution is balance.

 

Try to include him more in the photographic journey, try to be a bit more selective in what you photograph - compose and try

things out in your head before getting out the camera and start shooting everything. You might even want to try actually making

him part of the pictures - say one with him and one without (if you REALLY need to get that amazing sunset as an art photo). I

have been travelling for years and years, sometimes alone and sometimes with company. I never had that problem. And I do

shoot around 2000 photos per week on a normal trip...;-)

 

Try to find the balance, first within you and then with your partner. Take only couple of lenses with you and maybe a light tripod.

Read about the place you're going to before and get some ideas of what you'd like to shoot (and when, that sometimes also

helps) so that when you get there, you can more efficiently split your time between your two passions (;-)))) ) I'm sure you can do

this - some of the more amazing photographers in the world have done it - why can't you?

[david_henderson]

A question for you- do you actually sell and depend on selling the photographs you take on trips, or when away are you in essence an enthusiast?

[charles_stobbs3]

Leave the cameras at home once in a while and just enjoy looking. That's what the other 90 % of the world does.(Leave the husband at home if necessary.) IMHO it's a good way to develop your eye.

[eric merrill]

Elizabeth:

 

I didn't want to take my gear with me on my honeymoon, but I didn't want to go without pictures, either.

So I bought a really nice, P&S camera (Nikon 35Ti.) It was easier in the film days. Just needed a good

quality lens and manual control.

 

These days, it's not so simple. The size of the sensor affects the quality.

 

I'm a Canon shooter. My answer a couple years ago was to buy the XTi and 24-105/4. The XTi is pretty

small, and the 24-105 turned out to be a great lens. I'm surprised that I actually ended up using it for

"real" work, too. (I ended up selling the XTi because the lack of a control wheel just bugged me to no

end.)

 

Last summer, I bought an Olympus 1030 SW. It produces decent pictures. It's relatively small. And

it's almost indestructible. I wouldn't put my regular camera in a pocket of my swimming trunks and go

swimming, for example. :) The quality of inside pictures is lacking. The noise starts to be distracting

at ISO 400.

 

After I bought the 1030, I took it exclusively with us for a while. Until my wife said she missed having

better quality family snaps of our kids on our trips. :) So I mix it up now. Sometimes the real

equipment, sometimes the P&S, and sometimes nothing.

 

 

Eric

[gordon_lukesh1]

My girlfriend (30+years!) and I both take pro shots with our M6 Leicas. We share 3 lenses (21, 50 and 135) and shoot B&W. We have traveled the world together (much of Europe, Moscow, Siberia). We take shots from the same locations and we always get different views! She has a photo of the top domes of St Basil's on Red Square with the 135 I would never have thought of taking. I have one from the Aleksandr Gardens next to the Kremlin Wall she would never have taken.

 

Two people, two views...

[elizabeth_carbone]

To Markus, Dave, Mark, Matthew, Peter, Marios, David, Charles, Eric and Gordon,

 

I want to thank all of you for taking the time to read about my dilemma and also respond to it...it is obvious to me from all of

your answers that I need to set clearer parameters for when I am going to shoot pictures and when I'm not. My husband is

happy to accompany me when I shoot (although he doesn't care to participate beyond pointing out things he thinks I might like

to photograph), and he is not an unreasonable man, but having my camera with me always is a problem for us.

 

I have tried using a small film camera (Pentax P30T) on several trips where I just ended up frustrated with running out of film.

And I've also tried using a large digital camera (Nikon D2Xs) with one small lens and a flash system. Needless to say, the

digital camera became a heavy and expensive burden quickly.

 

Up to this point, I hadn't completely separated out working holiday from vacation because I felt that vacation could be an

opportunity to capture that one great picture to make a fine art print or to sell a photo to a magazine. What I needed to

realize, I guess, was that I am as bad as that person who can never put away their pda/phone/laptop on a leisure trip.

Perhaps setting a certain time-period that we are both aware of, like one day or a few hours out of the entire trip, to shoot

would be a happy compromise and if we visit multiple places I could spread this out for the whole trip. The key is setting a limit

and sticking to it. Thanks again!

[ilkka]

My suggestion, and solution to the same problem, is to just bring either a small compact (often a Ricoh GRD or

sometimes a Sigma DP1 depending on the place and likely nature of photography), or a small DSLR with just one

fixed focal length lens. This will allow some photography, but will limit the kind of pictures that can be captured so

that I would not even try to spend any time on birds, distant landscapes, fast moving sports or nightscenes etc. It

also greatly reduces the amount of gear to be carried making it more of a holiday than work. As a photographer, I

would not want to leave a camera entirely behind.

[stemked]

Hi Elizabeth.

 

I'm in the same boat. I'm a Biologist professionally and my natural history and photography interests do become annoying (I have BOTH a wife and a 4 year old to deal with). I'm planning a trip to Hawaii right now and my planning is whether or not to bring the 400mm lens and have to drag it around or miss that chance to get an image of an I'iwi. Binging the lens along and picking up my daughter all the time is a difficult balance.

 

I always include both of them in my photography so they realize I'm not forgetting about them. But I do control myself. The issue for me is one of bulk.

 

Since you already shoot Pentax maybe you might pick up an *istD or one of the similar Samsung Digitals (small Digital SLR). That way you have a small SLR that you can get professional images (ok, only 6.1 megs) when you need them, but the camera will seem more touristie (no 50 images per second).

[matthew_newton]

I guess try to strike a bit of balance both photographically and relationship wise. I am a bit at the opposite end, I insist on taking my camera and lenses most places I go, especially trips and my wife resents when I spend almost anytime taking photographs. We have come to a bit of a compromise that we talk about me taking my camera before we go somewhere and on trips I'll be as quick as I can, but that sometimes a shot just requires taking some time, but I won't spend the whole vacation with my eye crammed in a view finder.

 

It sounds like maybe you need to talk with your husband and find out just what he really is hoping for with you bringing your camera equipment along. Then maybe ask for a little lee way and maybe work on communicating. If he wants you to bring your camera he should not feel reticent in maybe communicating when he feels that the photography is getting in the way of the vacation, but he should also be prepared that the photography is going to take up SOME of the vacation, especially if he is asking you to bring it along.

[danielhundley]

Set perameters. Budget yourself only a certain amount of hours on the trip. Also, how many hours you spend behind the

camera double/triple/quadruple (whatever you and your significant other decide) thats how much you should spend with

your significant other.

[elizabeth_carbone]

To Ilkka, Douglas, Matthew N., Daniel, and everyone,

 

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond...I greatly appreciate everyone's advice. I definitely want to take a camera

with me, but I need to research several options (some of which have been mentioned here in this forum) and choose a

camera that is lighter in weight and less bulky, relatively inexpensive, unobtrusive, and yet takes good quality images. So I'm

not sure yet whether this will be a higher end P&S or a lower end SLR, but I definitely need to use different equipment.

 

Also, it is clear I need to "strike a balance" and "set parameters" as Matthew N. and Daniel and many of you have already

suggested. Matthew N., you're right that I need to communicate better with my husband and find out what his expectations

are...I know he doesn't want to hold me back, and he knows that I will regret not having a camera b/c I will invariably see

something that I want to shoot...so Daniel H., your suggestion of doubling/tripling/quadrupling the quality time I spend behind

the camera to spend more quality time with my husband is a good one.

 

Perhaps if he and I set aside a certain amount of unfettered time that I could shoot to my eye's content, then we could agree

to put the camera away during our time together...clearly more communication is key. Any other suggestions would be

appreciated and I'll be sure to keep you all up-to-date on my progress. Thanks! : )

[chelsea]

I certainly hope that you are able to work this out with your husband. Two things are really setting off my alarm bells: that he wants you to take the pro gear, then gets bored and resentful when you spend time using that gear, especially when he knows that you're professionally trained, and that he says that you should "control" yourself like a "normal" adult. It's coming across as though he doesn't know what he wants, and there's a "control" issue. Is it just photography, or are there other things he wants you to do, and should be "in control" of yourself? And why does he want you to take the pro gear, does he expect you to make money from it, or just want to show off really nice pics of the vacation? If it's just the vacation thing, then go with the really good point and shoot. The idea of travelling and vacationing is to have FUN and bring back some good memories.

[msitaraman]

I'd opt for bringing back great memories rather than great photos. Leave the gear at home. Go cold turkey. It can be done. You'll have a blast.

[ilkka]

"Go cold turkey."

 

It can be done. But in my experience it is also a guarantee for a truly memorable once in a lifetime missed opportunity that could have been captured with a point and shoot if only one had been carrying it along. Has happened to me couple of times in different parts of the world.

[elizabeth_carbone]

Rose-Marie, Mani, and Ilkka,

 

Well, mainly he thinks that I should be able to switch that "turn off" button and change modes from photographer to

vacationing companion....what I have trouble with is turning off my photographer's eye--especially when I have my pro

equipment with me.

 

So I think that it's about the two of us communicating our desires and expectations more clearly, and also about us setting

parameters that we both need to adhere to. In other words, if we decide that a good solution would be for me to spend a

couple of hours just shooting then he should not interrupt me or complain during that pre-set time period, and once I put my

camera away I need to focus more of my attention on him and experience my vacation rather than capture it in a camera lens.

 

Also, to answer your other question...he doesn't necessarily expect me to sell my photos from a trip (although that would be

nice), but he understands that shooting photographs is something that I enjoy doing and that I will regret not having a decent

camera if I see something that catches my eye. That being said, he doesn't really enjoy standing around while I shoot.

Although, in the past when we have set time limits on how long I spend photographing he seems to deal much better with this.

 

It's those times, like Ilkka, where I haven't had a camera that I've regretted missing a truly amazing image...and he

understands how disappointed I feel when that happens. I think that is why he insists I take along my camera. He wants to

allow me the freedom to do something that I love, but has trouble reconciling that with his own desire to spend quality time with

me. And I have trouble reconciling my desire to get the image "right" versus hurrying myself and ultimately achieving a

dissatisfying result because I know I could have done better with just a little more time. This frustration coupled with my

feelings of guilt (because I know he is waiting for me and not enjoying himself) makes for horrible pictures and a horrible

vacation. Those lost photos are etched into my memory forever as images I would like to replicate if I could...

[Mary Doo]

Very difficult situation here Elizabeth. But not uncommon at all. Enforcing a time limit does not work, as it's

guaranteed to create resentment. It pleases no one.

 

From my observation, the photographer in this situation either has to go shoot by himself/herself or go with other

photographers who share the passion. That's why photography trips/tours led by known photographers are doing

quite well.

 

Like you, when I am on vacation-mode, I prefer to take the "do-it-all" Nikon 18-200mm lens, or the teeny point-and-

shoot. This works for me very well.

 

Mary

[jim_katen]

Hi Elizabeth. I'm not a pro photographer, but I've been married for 22 years and I have a couple of suggestions.

 

Set aside two hours in the early morning, around sunrise, and two hours in the evening, around sunset, for serious

photography. You'll have the best light during these hours. Also, these will be times when your husband can do stuff

that might not interest you. (Maybe there will be hardware stores nearby.)

 

The rest of the time, keep a decent quality P&S and a small notebook in your pocket. When you see an interesting

subject, you can take a snapshot and/or note down the location and the compass bearings if it's a static subject.

Then return during one of your pro hours with exactly the camera and lens combination that are best suited to the

subject. This will give you some time to plan the shot and help you to make the most of the short 2-hour time slots.

 

Bring your whole travel kit and keep it in the hotel room in a travel safe such as the DuffleSafe 100

http://www.pacsafe.com/www/index.php?_room=3&_action=detail&id=23 or something similar. Take what you need

for each session and leave the rest in the hotel. Always keep the P&S with you.

 

Consider asking your husband to be your model. This isn't for everyone. (My wife would sooner eat nails.) If he's good

at it, this would be a nice way to involve him in the process. Having a skilled model at your disposal can be a great

asset.

 

- Jim Katen

[danielhundley]

I wholeheartedly believe what Jim suggested is the best thing to do. Though the two hour sessions dont have to be every day, twice a-day.

[kyle_schellenberg]

Interesting subject. I would tend to agree with Ilkka, just bring your SLR body and a single prime lens.

For what you'll be able to take you'll get some good images to bring back but you won't have enough

versatility to take everything you normally would. That should cut down on your time spent clicking your

camera and more time for clicking with your husband. Not to mention that will cut down on the weight

of your load. Don't bother with a P&S because it could be habit-forming and they typically have

ridiculously large focal ranges which might keep you busy.

 

This winter I'm taking a trip back to the Philippines to visit with my wife's family. For me, what's worked

for me is to just have some time alone to go for a walk and snap some pictures. Just try to arrange for

when your spouse would be busy doing something else (taking a nap, stroll along the beach, sports

game on TV, etc). I did take pictures while I was with my wife last time in the Philippines but I felt much

more conscientious about limiting my time analyzing composition.

 

Hope you manage to find a healthy solution. Photography is great, but I'd never put it above my

relationship with my wife.