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They want everything


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<blockquote>

<p>An easy solution without having to be rude or risk offending people as has been frequently suggested above, is to shoot RAW + JPEG, and change your in camera processing settings to render the JPEGs totally unusable</p>

</blockquote>

<p>How is this not rude? Is this the way to treat relatives and friends? With deception? Good thing I know who my friends are already.</p>

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<p>Simple bring a film camera. Nobody is usually interested to take the unprocessed roll and pay for processing.</p>

<p>If I attend a family event I will usually transfer the files to the family members PC before I leave, saves me paying for prints I don't need or burning CDs. I usually only post process and print the shots that are important to my wife and children. I gave up years ago turning every family event into a huge post processing job. Sometimes I take a compact instead of a DSLR depending on the event..</p>

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<p>If you don't want to give "just give them the damn photos" there's no need to lie or sabotage. Give some respect to them and yourself and kindly declare that you don't give out images before your review them. I've told people that. They know its true. They left me alone. They got what they really wanted. I don't see what the problem is. This is a social reality with a resolution that has nothing to do with photography. Don't be wishy washy. It just encourages more challenging. Polite firm clarity is a tool of social life.</p>

<p>Use it.</p>

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<p>Like Jay said, non-photographers don't edit their stuff. You'll come up against those people who want everything. When they ask me I say I will remove the mistakes and the double chins. I never have a problem after I've said that. I also say I'll throw up a quick iPhoto link. If they ask for more I say that's all there is. How do they know otherwise if you lie at the last stage?</p>
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Just shoot raw, and tell them that only the special software on your home PC can read the images but you'll be sure to send them. Then when you filtered and got a set to your satisfaction, rename sequentially (MollyAndSteveWedding_001.jpg or whatever).
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<p>I have only read about half of the responses on here...</p>

<p>I have been in your exact same shoes a number of times. Even my wife was pretty bad about it. Bottom line as I see it, they are your photos! Take them home and do what you will. Then email out or post the images you want to show. You do not have to be a high paid pro to justify takeing pride in your photography.</p>

<p>Processing is just part of the work flow of making good photos (film or digital).</p>

<p>Jason</p>

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<p>"...I might commit mistakes but I am getting good at recognising problems in my photos that "laypeople" wouldn't notice or care."</p>

<p>Exactly, they won't care or notice. Also think about this.. given that they are asking, they must feel you are doing a better job than they are or could do. After all, as some one posted, it's family. Probably the most understanding group you can ever find. They are not clients and showing them mistakes won't hurt your progress as a photographer. Since you won't be going pro, it won't hurt your ability to sell photos either. Relax. Not all photos have to be high art and perfect. They may like some of those mistakes for reasons you don't see.</p>

<p>Now, saying all this, I sort of understand. If I had family or friends coming to my house, I would want it clean and organized, not sloppy and with dirty dished on the tables. Maybe, for you, allowing people to see your not so great shots is the same. However, if family DID show up at my house, and it was a mess, how would they feel if I said, " Oh, sorry. You can't come in. Come back tomorrow when the house is arrange they way I want you to see it. " ? They might start thinking that I am some sort of ego centric perfectionist. </p>

<p>Just stuff to think about.</p>

<p> </p>

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<p>Look them in the eye and say...No. Let them sulk. So what. Sulking is just manipulation to get ones own way. I have a Picasa account for family photos and I always tell people whatever I make available there you are welcome to have. They can download them, they can order prints if they want to. I never give out my photos without going through them first, I don't care who it is. I don't want junk attributed to me anywhere, and I'm not a pro either.</p>
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<blockquote>

<p>On the occasions I gave the photos away, I felt bad like if someone had broken into my intimacy. When I refuse, people tend to feel offended and think that (apart from perfectionist) I am just an egoist pretentious bastard. Is there an elegant solution to this dilemma that would satisfy both parts?</p>

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<p>Aw mate I feel for you. First, if doing such a thing make you feel bad, don't. I know I have in the past, and now I just say no. I gotta live up to myself first nowadays. That said, if it's non critical events, usually I don't mind so much because, seriously, I notice that most people don't seem to care about technical quality, just a memory of what happened.</p>

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<p>Ditto what Bo said. But I'ld also go the extra mile in not telling them you're a photographer or into photography because...</p>

<p>Went to a high school reunion and told them I was into photography and brought along some finely honed fine art 4x6 pictures to show I took with my DSLR, but left my camera at home.</p>

<p>When it came time to take pictures they kept asking me to use their P&S to do the honors. I had to tell them I didn't have a clue on how to navigate their camera's menu system and thus wouldn't be able to take any better pictures than what they could.</p>

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<p>Perhaps I have a different personality, but why not try "Thank you very much for asking, but no thank you." After all, aren't they asking for something which is yours?</p>

<p>If they don't understand why they can't have them all, say "Because, .... oh did you hear that?", and walk away politely.</p>

<p>You might also consider that if you give them all, some images may be used in a way which you might not agree, and your subjects "trusted' you. Not the third party.</p>

<p>The internet is open and promiscuous. Digital makes it easy.</p>

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<p>I think that there are a couple of ways you can go with this to get around offending people. First, there are photo storage websites that offer photo print sales where a friend can order a print. Generally a few cents or so gets deposited in a account to you and when it hits a certain level they will send you money. If the person does not want a print they can/or cannot (depending on the site and the package you select) download a small file. You can organize all pictures into folders and assign passwords if desired. Simply tell everyone the website and they will be up in a certain amount of time. I had a friend who used a site like this and who took pictures of bands and artist. She gave away small files, but they were not very big, certainly not the size of the original. And that's my other recommendation. Resize everything in Photoshop elements to about the size of a 2x3 or 3x4 file for computer display only. Since the file will be so small they will not have the ability to print anything. Alot of wedding photographers do this on CD's for the wedding couple to pick pictures but not get ripped off. If anyone complains, tell them you weed out the under and over exposures and bad ones before you upload and distribute them and thats the way it works; Sorry.</p>
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