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Critque Request


sprouty

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Stephen-- I like the color but the shots feel too loose to me, too

distant. (I've always been a bit intimidated by my father-in-law, I

must admit!) I would have come in 50% or more and

concentrated on the face, hand, cigar and also isolated and

selected the pill bottles. By coming in, the backgrounds would

have also softened up and you would have less extraneous

information.

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Stephen,

 

What makes the top photo (your father-in-law) for me is his extended bare leg. It says either of three things: He does not care how he looks, he knows he is still sexy, or both.

 

This photo could stand alone. The other photo--the pills--has to be part of a series of photos concerning your father-in-law. That you told that great story about him in relation to your photos tells me that verbal commentary is also a necessary part of what you want to say about your father-in-law.

 

The pills photo does not convey enough information. I want to see your father-in-law in other situations. Once we get to know him better, the pills photo might make better sense somehow.

 

I had to look again to see that your father-in-law was smoking a cigar. I might not have noticed it if you hadn't pointed it out. All this tells me that you need to photograph your father-in-law more.

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Wow, thanks for the quick responses.

 

Some background, not excuses but just to let you know what I was thinking composition-wise. The first shot was the one of the bathroom. We were down visiting when my wife noticed all the medication and called me in to see it. We were both completely floored by how much stuff they had him on (we�re talking two-dozen plus prescriptions). The bathroom was a veritable sea of pill bottles. As I mentioned I asked him about it but he just joked. He seemed comfortable so I decided to take a few shots.

For the bathroom the first problem was the fact that both of the two back walls are completely mirrored. And while this adds to the effect of a lot of medication, I had to shoot it from a higher perspective than I wanted to to keep myself out of the shot.

 

 

I then took a few shots of my father-in-law and tried to keep a similar distance to maintain perspective. Then there was the problem of lighting. The bathroom was a mixture of incandescent and florescent while he was sitting in a combination of incandescent and afternoon sun. Not a great combination of lighting.

 

 

Unfortunately I just don�t have enough experience scanning and posting to really do the transparencies justice. What you�re looking at is a scan of a print of a scan of the slide. In the prints I had professional made from the original slides I can read text on some of the bottles. It�s that sharp.

 

As to the points brought up. I have to admit, I do see Karl�s point. I think the empty space in the bathroom shot (above and below the pills) doesn�t really add anything. And I also agree about the top photo being the stronger of the two (even though I was sure when I took them that bathroom shot would be the keeper). Funny how that happens sometimes.

 

 

Thanks again,

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These pictures are of course fascinating. The idea; the story, are excellent and I hope you continue with it. I love the nonchalance of your father-in-laws cigar-puffing pose and I love his bare legs.

However, I don't thing your composition has lived up to the strength of the idea: why cut his legs off? Why the distracting light behind his head? Why the emptiness int the frame on the LHS?

These are small complaints - the story is great - I'd just like to see it strengthened by isolating the important elements and getting rid of unnecessary fluff. I'd very much like to see more.

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Stephen-- I like the images better after the conversion. Marc's

was a good suggestion. The information chatter has been

reduced and the mood is stronger on he FIL shot. And the pills

surprise me a bit , as I wouldn't have expected the bottles to

separate as well as they are. In this version, the pills still feel

loose to me but the FIL not so much so due to the mono

shadowing. My eye's not roaming as much.

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Generally, a good effort. Closer, more light, and wait so the hand wass not covering the face, so more of the character of your father in law is visible would have improved it. Crop the left side. (leave the pot in) Black and white is good for this sort of photo. The pills... Hmmm.
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To all who responded, thank you.

 

This was my first critique from the forum and I�m very happy with how the suggestions made me reevaluate the two images. Before I posted them I had some preconceived notions about their relative strengths and weaknesses and after reading all the comments I was surprised how off I was on some of the key elements. Anyway, I feel like this is a good project and I should have spent some more time and film.

 

Regards,

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