A Holiday Poem for All

[wogears]

<p><strong>A Gearhead's Christmas</strong><br /><br /><br />'Twas the night before Christmas, and all throught the world<br />The gearheads had gathered--including both girls.<br />Their anticipation it grew and it grew,<br />In hope to find something with better IQ.<br /><br />The children were finally shipped off to bed.<br />While visions of X-Boxes danced in their head.<br />As soon as I knew they were comfortably sleeping,<br />I scurried upstairs to do some pixel-peeping.<br /><br />All week we had labored in decking the halls<br />With pictures of test charts,of cats and brick walls,<br />But the light of the moon on the new-fallen snow<br />Made me wish for a sensor with high ISO.<br /><br />When out in the drive there arose such a clamor,<br />I thought 'twas a Fed-Ex sent from Adorama.<br />I opened the window, and saw all alone<br />Alight on my driveway an Amazon drone.<br /><br />And standing beside it, light meter in hand,<br />My wondering eyes saw this strange little man.<br />With that Moonrise aglow as he trod the macadam,<br />I knew in a flash it must be Ansel Adams.<br /><br />His beard was as white as a polished iPad.<br />'Round his neck on a strap hung a chrome Hasselblad,<br />And as he grew closer 'twas incontrovertible<br />That the lens in his pocket read 'Triple-Convertible'.<br /><br />"Merry Christmas," he said, "or Kwanzaa or Yule.<br />Now remember a camera's only a tool.<br />The worth of your image most often depends<br />On the nut that is found 'bout a foot from the lens."<br /><br />"Only a tool? That's not very nice,"<br />Said I, "I was looking for better advice<br />On Canon on Nikon, on Pentax and Sony,<br />On whether Ken Rockwell was really a phony.<br /><br />On zooms versus primes, ballheads that are sloppy,<br />And whether my lens is a good or bad copy.<br />How may I obtain that bokeh so fine?<br />Do I need to purchase a Leica M9?"<br /><br />The smile never dimmed on his face as he said,<br />"One thing I must tell you, you hopeless gearhead.<br />There isn't a need for these OCD worries,<br />Your cameras are better than Steve McCurry's.<br /><br />"On this special day, I would hope you could see,<br />Two lenses--no more--sufficed HCB,<br />And W. Eugene would oft tell the tale,<br />How his Nikon was useful for driving a nail."<br /><br />Then laying his meter in front of his eye,<br />He and his drone flew up to the sky.<br />And still I remember his last shouted strictures:<br />"Stop testing already! Go out and take pictures!"<br /><br />--Les Berkley<br /><br /></p>

[sarah_fox]

<p>Ha! I like it! :-)</p>

<p>I wrote this one a couple of days ago with regard to a new ECU (Engine Control Unit -- "the computer") being developed by a fellow Datsun enthusiast for the 280Z. The original ones are analog and are starting to peter out, so we're all excited about this project. Post #25:</p>

<p><a href="http://www.classiczcars.com/forums/open-s30-z-discussions/51129-what-your-getting-your-z-christmas-2013-a.html#25">http://www.classiczcars.com/forums/open-s30-z-discussions/51129-what-your-getting-your-z-christmas-2013-a.html#25</a></p>

<p>Funny, I used the same term "gearheads," except referring to oily, greasy gears. Automobile enthusiasts wear the monicker "gearheads" proudly. It's not a pejorative term in that community.</p>

[wogears]

<p>Sarah: When I grew up, we were called "motorheads" if we worked on cars continually. I didn't, but I <em>could</em> rebuild a carburetor when necessary.</p>

 

[cyanatic]

<p>Lol!! Excellent, Lex! A poet and a photographer.</p>

<p>(Sarah -- Nice work also. As a former 65 Nova and bowtie enthusiast I could appreciate it.)</p>

[William Kahn]

<p>Very nicely done, Les!</p>

<p>Sarah, I like yours, too; but, I have to tell you, no matter what you put on that Z, it'll never beat a Mustang... ;-)</p>

<p> </p>

[Member69643]

<p>Thank you <strong>Les! </strong>And yes we do need to take more pictures and fewer test shots. At last count I had nearly a hundred cameras, including 14-15 DSLRs/EVIL ones. If I only had more time to shoot, to print I say, my images would be better with nary a new addition. As it is my solace is new gear. Some day, whence retired, All my images will be HCB level. And I <strong>DO</strong> mean that guy at our photo club Hank Charles Buston. :)</p>

[gary_leonard3]

<p>Great poem but don't quit your day job.<br>

I own a Kiron 80-200 F 4 lens. It is small and compact and looks almost new. It fits a Yashica FX-D camera (it has the y/c mount) but I have no Yashica 35mm slr film cameras. More than a dozen Nikons, yes, and a dozen Canon rangefinders and Yashica rangefinders, but no Yashica SLR. What to do? I would be happy to donate it, for actual shipping charges, to a needy person or film class. It was made in Japan.</p>

[sarah_fox]

<blockquote>

<p>Sarah, I like yours, too; but, I have to tell you, no matter what you put on that Z, it'll never beat a Mustang... ;-)</p>

 

</blockquote>

<p>In hindsight, I should have used a Honda CRX with a loud muffler. A Mustang Cobra isn't really a kid car. However, I beg to differ about a Z taking on a Stang. (I've owned those too.) It depends on the track. I remember once being chased by some pissed-off/mentally-unstable/potentially-dangerous guy in a Vette back when I had a '75 Z (in my reckless youth). Thank goodness, I easily lost him. The person being chased gets to choose the track, so to speak.</p>

<p>And I have to say that Les might have chosen a different sainted photographer than AA. Although he might not have been a gearhead, per se, he was certainly technically obsessed!</p>