What if a photo can make a difference?

[mark_starr]

<p>This may not be the correct forum for this or perhaps shouldn’t even be here, so I apologize in advance if the moderator needs to remove it.<br>

Dear Fellow Photographers,<br>

I have a casual acquaintance, a woman who lives in my town, who has been battling cancer for a few years now. She had a marrow transplant perhaps two years ago that seemed to be working, but of late, things have not been going well for her. As one of my daughters has been engaged in her own battle with cancer, this woman has derived some comfort in chatting with me by e-mail about her condition, although I am afraid I feel like I am not much help to her. I always feel powerless when she writes to me. She isn’t in need of things I offer to do, like help with her shopping, travel, cleaning, etc. Yesterday I received another e-mail from her. She has to return to Boston (two hours away from us in Connecticut) for a month’s stay at Brigham & Women’s as the chemo she is getting locally isn’t working. Again, although I offered, it seems like there is nothing I can do to help her. Then, however, I finally began to think about what I could do for her, rather than what I couldn’t do for her.<br>

My first thought was I could take a photo of her husband and make a huge print of it for her room. As she will be away from her home for a month, I thought perhaps I could send her a photo every day of someplace in town to cheer her up. Her computer could function, momentarily, as an electronic window overlooking something familiar from home. A very simple distraction from the very complicated world she will be a part of for the next month. So I will do these things, and I believe they may help her, in some small way, get through what she must get through. After thinking of those few things I came to this site, as I usually do in the evening, to check the forums and see what was being discussed. I came across the self described "rant" by Christopher Ellington below. That particular discussion led me to a new chain of thought, and this posting.<br>

Photos that make a difference. I know that my photos will never make a huge difference in the world, but what if the difference isn’t huge? What if my photo just made the tiniest difference to someone who sees it? If the photo does not bring me fame, fortune, or a 6 or 7 in the ratings here from my peers, would I bother to do it? Here is my question and a proposal:<br>

Imagine you are a cancer patient away from home for a month. Your friends are hours away (and as anyone who has been through this knows, “friends” often don’t want to “bother” you when you are sick with cancer…) and you have nothing but very long days and nights in which you must try to occupy your mind. Imagine then that photographs started showing up in your e-mail from all over the world from people you didn’t even know. Simple photos. Images of anything and everything. Photos that took you through that small electronic window and into a different world for a time, no matter how briefly. Photos that somehow, just by receiving them, made a difference.<br>

I am posting this thread to see if there are photographers here willing to send this woman a photo, two photos, or any amount of photos whenever time and inspiration strike over the course of the next month. I am not talking about your award-winning images, but rather, images that you simply walk out and take with the express purpose of sending to her. The photo could be the tree in the field at the end of your road. It could be a bird at your feeder, a new flower pushing its way up into the sunlight, or a weathered barn you pass on the way to work every day. It could be a photo of a mailbox, a dog, an ocean wave. A photo of something you might like to see if you were sitting in a hospital bed for thirty days. Window-on-the-world photos. Having spent a year in the hospital with my daughter, I can guarantee you, no matter what you take and send, it will make a difference in this woman’s life. Six years after my daughter’s first year of treatment I can still recall every simple act of kindness done for her, often by people we didn’t even know. They made an impact that I will never forget.<br>

So how can we do this, assuming anyone wants to? My thoughts on how to carry out this project are these:<br>

1) If you would be willing to help you can e-mail me. I will send you her e-mail address and if you are interested a link to her CaringBridge site where you can learn more about her (hospitals set up these sites for patients so patients can let people know how they are doing – like a Facebook thing for friends and family) and any time you want to make a difference you can send her a photo. The photo can be a small jpeg that looks nice on a computer screen. I thought all of us who want to help with this project could use the same text in the e-mail to her:<br>

Dear Laurie,<br>

I am a friend of a friend of yours from North Stonington, and I thought I would send you this photo. I hope you enjoy the image and that you return home soon.<br>

Sincerely,<br>

Karen, or Bill, or Dave……<br>

Of course, if you wanted to write something else you certainly could, but if not, having the same message might be nice and easy.<br>

She returns to Boston next Wednesday, and hopefully can return home after a month. I am going to start sending her a photo every day from next Wednesday on through a month and make a portrait of her husband for her room. If there is anyone here willing to send her a photo sometime in the next month to help cheer her, please e-mail me and I will send you her e-mail address. You can simply send a single photo once, or other photos at any point as the mood strikes. In this way, I hope to flood her life with something other than the chemo-therapy that will soon flood her veins.<br>

I think we all dream of our photographs making a difference in the world. I am going to stop dreaming for a moment, and if any of you would like to join me I would certainly love the company. If nothing else, this will get me off my computer and out to appreciate what I often take too much for granted. Thanks to all of you in advance for the difference you will make.<br>

Sincerely,<br>

Markham Starr<br>

E-Mail: jstarr@snet.net</p>

[luis_g]

<p>It is the love and kindness you have for her, as expressed in your many offers and now photographs that will make the difference.</p>

<p>Be careful that her mailbox doesn't end up flooded or blown up with mailed pictures. This has a message-in-a-bottle kind of vibe. Good luck.</p>

[sarah_fox]

<p>I remember once when I was having surgery in a far-off place. It was contact with the people I loved that counted the most to me. The photo-a-day idea is great, as it will keep her connected with her hometown and the people she knows. If you could make it a very short video clip everyday, it would be even better, IMO. I'm thinking of a "get well soon" or "we're pulling for you" message from a different person she knows each and every day. If I were she, I know that would mean the world to me.</p>

<p>I think Luis' precaution is a good one. She's going to be exhausted from the chemo, which is an ugly and miserable process at best. You don't want to exhaust or overwhelm her. Simply remind her daily that someone she knows is in her corner and cheering for her.</p>

<p>Finally, I'd have to say you are NOT useless to her, as you seem to think. What we all need is human contact, and you've given that to her via your email correspondence. Perhaps that is the most important thing.</p>

<p>Good luck to you, your friend, and your daughter!</p>

[mark_starr]

<p>Louis and Sarah,<br>

Thank-you both for your kind thoughts. I was worried about overwhelming her, but I don't think I will get that many responses (although I already received an image I will pass on to her!) I thought if people had to e-mail me I could make sure that didn't happen to her, and your idea Sarah of putting them into a clip could work if I do get too many responses. The other good thing about e-mail is that it can wait until she wants to look at it. Chemo is a very boring process - they hook you up and you sit until the little bag is done, then you wait until they do it again the next day. If she doesn't get too sick, there is just a lot of time on her hands. Thanks again for your thoughts and advice, and I hope you will consider sending an image!<br>

Mark</p>

[john_macpherson]

<p>Nice idea Mark. How about a few stories (with pictures)? Here's a few of mine on the <a href="http://duckrabbit.info/">duckrabbit</a> multimedia blog.<br>

This one is about how NOT taking a picture made a difference (I think) when I did finally get the opportunity. <a href="http://duckrabbit.info/blog/2012/01/cameras-communication-and-the-intimacy-of-a-moment/">Cameras, communication, and the intimacy of a moment.</a></p>

<p>And in a similar vein but with a more thought provoking and disturbing outcome: <a href="http://duckrabbit.info/blog/2012/01/cameras-they-steal-your-soul-so-they-do/">Cameras, they steal your soul so they do.</a></p>

<p>And another where taking an image, and then showing it to some children, might just have made a difference, if only to one individual: <a href="http://duckrabbit.info/blog/2011/11/effete-and-be-there-thats-not-enough/">Effete and be there? That's not enough.</a></p>

[mark_starr]

<p>John,<br>

Thanks for the link to your stories - I enjoyed them very much. I was not quite sure what you meant in your post however - do you mean send her photos with stories or your particular stories? The whole point may be moot as far as Photo.net is concerned, as there has only been one person willing to help out and so I will move on to another plan, which is to get personal friends of mine to help out with it. Either way, thanks for the links to your work - they are well done and a great read -<br>

Mark</p>

[mark_starr]

<p>John,<br>

Thanks for the link to your stories - I enjoyed them very much. I was not quite sure what you meant in your post however - do you mean send her photos with stories or your particular stories? The whole point may be moot as far as Photo.net is concerned, as there has only been one person willing to help out and so I will move on to another plan, which is to get personal friends of mine to help out with it. Either way, thanks for the links to your work - they are well done and a great read -<br>

Mark</p>

[john_macpherson]

<p>Hi Mark - you said in the original post:</p>

<blockquote>

<p>Photos that make a difference. I know that my photos will never make a huge difference in the world, but what if the difference isn’t huge? What if my photo just made the tiniest difference to someone who sees it?</p>

</blockquote>

<p>So I've suggested some photos of mine, which in and of themselves might be of interest in a general sort of way to your friend, but because each of them has a story attached which is ALL about photography and the difference that one image might just have made, either taken or untaken, they may resonate more widely for her. </p>

<p>That simple.</p>

[ann_overland]

<p>Mark, the thought is very good. But I am not sure that these actions will be of any interest for her. We are talking about our interest in photography, does she have the same hobby? And even if she does, would she be interested in lots of emails from strangers sending her photos of places and people that is not familiar to her? Would you be interested in receiving that, Mark? And escpecially if you were very sick, would you still be interested in that? I don't think I would have liked it. Maybe she also has a monthly limitation as to how much data she can download from her phone or computer, or maybe she is paying for the amount she is downloading.<br /> <br /> I think it is a good rule to ask people what you can do to help them, and not help them with things they don't need help with. Otherwise the help might end up as a burden for them. Other people's needs are not the same as ours. And if the help turns out to be a burden to those you are helping, they might never tell you about it. Just my two cents.</p>

[mark_starr]

<p>John,<br>

Thanks for the clarification and for your help with this- I will send her the links and I think she will enjoy tham as much as I did.<br>

Ann,<br>

Thank-you for your thoughts on this too. I could very well be wrong in my assumption that she might enjoy getting photos in her e-mail - I have been wrong many times before. With my daughter, complete strangers did the nicest things for her and we never, never resented it in any way. In fact, I remember every kindness done for her and my sense of gratitude is still overwhelming. As I mentioned, people would get her e-mail address through me, so a flood could be avoided if it became necessary (but as I have seen, this is a moot point) As to overwhelming her e-mail limits, small jpgs in an e-mail are not usually a problem, and the delete key solves storage problems pretty quickly after she has looked at them. Perhaps she would have found it a burden. Thanks for your comments and have a great weekend -<br>

Mark</p>

[ann_overland]

<p>I did not have the e-mail limits in mind. She might end up having to pay for the download of the photos. If she is on a smart phone or on a mobile Internet connection, she might.<br>

<br /> I do understand that you want to pay forward the acts of kindness given to your family. But not everyone would have appreciated this if they were very sick. Why don't you ask her, Mark. That way you will know for sure. A nice weekend to you and yours, too.</p>

<p> </p>