"NO, i will NOT take a photo with your camera!"

[annie_ryan]

<p>I am a petite, 30 year old woman who looks like she still belongs in high school...<br>

... and I am having a problem with guests taking me seriously!<br>

Recently, I was shooting a photo of the bride and her parents at the reception.<br>

The mother walks over to me, tries to hand me her camera, and says "can you take one with mine?"<br>

No I will not take one with yours!<br>

I am not some kid! I am the person your daughter hired to take her wedding picures! <br>

I was very graceful and courteous, telling her that the bride would have a copy of photo I took, and she was welcome to order her own.<br>

and she was mad!</p>

<p>SO:<br>

1) how can i handle this in the future? better yet,<br>

How can I stop this from happening to me?</p>

[the_mongrel_cat]

<p>mmmm....difficult<br>

 <br>

on the face of it, it doesn't seem like a terrible thing to ask.  but i understand that you want to have some kind of professional dignity. <br>

my solution (and it's one that i use often) would be to lie.  it's no use falling out with people if you want to get referrals.  and the key, as with any argument, is to nip it in the bud.  a ready made answer such as "i'm afraid my professional indemnity insurance specifically forbids me to use any equipment that is not my own.."  something to that effect.<br>

it's not a great answer, but it will deter all but the most determined.<br>

 <br>

on the plus side, i have a very clear mental image of your indignation in the face of a behatted (is that a word?) mother of the bride, resplendent in floral and too much makeup.  in my mind, she is very large and you are very small.<br>

 <br>

good luck anyway</p>

[mark_ridout1]

<p>I would in the future do what I do. Take moms camera and smash it on the ground. Just kidding :) I will always take a picture if Mom or Grandma or Dad has a camera and want ones. I can guarantee that i will gain more referral work from taking the image then you will by not obliging regardless if Mom orders an 8x10 or not. Referral business for me is paramount and by pissing off the parents doesn't help your case. Secondly their camera is 8 mega pixels and mine 21.....just my 2 cents<br>

[annie_ryan]

<p>digging the multiword answer from David. <br>

And, Mark, I don't know... it's just, I think my problem is more NOT being taken seriously. You know? Would someone ask a 45 year old male photographer what this woman asked ME? <br>

Therapy helps, i know ;)</p>

[david_schilling___chicago_]

<p>"The mother walks over to me, tries to hand me her camera, and says "can you take one with mine?"<br />No I will not take one with yours!<br />I am not some KID! I am the person your daughter hired to take her wedding pictures!"</p>

<p>So what's the big deal? You take a couple of snaps with her camera, hand it back to her and smile. At my age, I don't have any trouble getting people to take me seriously, truth is I spend more effort being easy-going and having fun with my clients and their families. And yes, it's not uncommon for the MOG, MOB to ask me to take a couple of shots with their camera........also, on occasion I'll offer to.</p>

[starvy]

<p>how about taking the pictures but ensuring that it turns out bad? this way your business would not be affected. you could always refuse but i know from experience that people get a little annoyed when you refuse.</p>

[theresa_skutt]

<p> I agree with Starvy & David. Take it really far away, for example if you can't get out of it, so it will look like garbage compared to your good one. I've never had that happen, thank goodness, but I have had as we've all have, people trying to stand next to me or my co-worker as we set up and take shots. I deliberately walk in front of them, blocking the shot, pretending to or taking a photo. Then I disperse them asap so it can't be re-created.</p>

[pictureted]

<p>David, good attitude. don't forget you're being paid to be there. Be nice, make sure the picture you take for Mom is the best on her memory card - and then get some therapy. You might be an artist, but it's their money and wedding and you obviously don't want to be a starving artist or you wouldn't be working in the first place.</p>

[david_schilling___chicago_]

<p>Honestly, there's no reason to sabotage an image from mom's P&S camera, if your lighting and technique isn't head and shoulders above a guest's P&S snapshots then you've got more serious issues to deal with. I also can't imagine deliberately walking in front of guests or messing with their "Kodak moments".....bad Karma and not a wise business/marketing practice.</p>

<p>Ted, thanks, I'm assuming the David that you're referring to is me while I assume Theresa is referring to the "other" David in this thread.</p>

[Spearhead]

<p>I think you have failed to realize what business you are in.<br>

<br /> You are in the customer satisfaction business. If the customer ends up ultimately dissatisfied, it won't help you. If the customer is satisfied, it will help you.<br>

<br /> So when the bride comes back from vacation, do you want her (and eventually all her friends) to hear, "Your photographer was a real (insert term of extreme dissatisfaction here)" or do you want her to hear, "Wow, I loved your photographer, she even took some photos for us"? It's your choice, but if you think about this as a business issue, the answer becomes immediately obvious.<br>

<br /> I always take photos of people with their cameras when they ask me. I have even done this in even situations where I have a lighting and background setup. It only makes them happy, and ultimately that reflects on how I get viewed.</p>

<p>What I hear is that you are letting your emotions dictate your behavior in a professional situation, which is never a good thing. You're a service person, not the local fire department at a house fire. You should take the time to make everyone happy.</p>

<p>I will add that the suggestion that you intentionally take a bad photo is repulsive. This isn't the way to treat your client and the guests of your client. It reflects a total lack of professionalism and a fundamental rudeness.</p>

[irusan]

<p>I, like David Schilling, not only will take the pictures (making them as good as I can with a P&S), I also offer to do so. If I walk past a table and see someone with their P&S outstretched in their hands trying to include themselves in the picture, I tell them to give me the camera and I'll take the picture for them.</p>

<p>Good heavens, I *might* lose out on a $15 image sale (probably not) but I know for a fact that if I say no and anger the MOTB, MOTG, Aunty Margaret, Uncle Bob, etc. that I'll <em>never</em> hear from anyone associated with that family. Possibly lose out on another 4 or 5 weddings for the sake of a couple of snaps?</p>

<p>You ask how to be taken seriously as a grown-up and here's how - don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Such narrow focus will be your downfall.</p>

<p>As for sabotaging other peoples pictures, that's another incredibly short-sighted, immature, and 110% unprofessional practice. If I could, I'd be even more blunt but I suspect my post would be (rightfully) deleted. Success as a wedding photographer lives and dies by word of mouth. Become known as a photographer that is easy to work with and guests love and the next thing you know, you'll be turning down bookings all the time because you are already booked up.</p>

<p>I call the guests with cameras the "wedding paparazzi." Here's how I deal with them: I tell the couple that their guests are more than welcome to shoot but all I ask is that they tell their guests to let me shoot first once I have the people lined up. At the wedding, I gather the guests that have cameras, tell them that I'll be calling them "the paparazzi" and once I have shot, I'll yell out "Paparazzi - your turn!" and they'll have a few seconds to shoot. But I also tell them that i need to keep things moving so if they don't get the shot, they can't ask me to wait.</p>

<p>After one or two setups, my paparazzi learns to shoot really quickly. Not once have I lost print sales because of this. But, I have answered the phone and heard, "Hi, I was a guest at __________'s wedding and now my daughter is getting married."</p>

[BrianS1664879711]

<p>Great technique, Rob!</p>

<p>To the OP: I get asked the same question... and I'm the complete opposite description of you! It really doesn't take much additional effort to be a nice person. If you are busy working and can't accomodate the request... say so. If you've been working hard and just need a break... say so. People are generally understanding. I only once remember someone asking a rather outrageous request and getting mad when politely denied. (The client later told me that her demanding Auntie always does that to "the help.")</p>

[sandy_labana]

Hi Annie: I suspect it is not the camera that bothered you but the fact that somebody did not respect you as professional

photographer. So do not focus on whether you should or should not take picture with somebody else's camera but how to deal

with your own feelings.

I agree with the above posts which advise that you should have taken as good a picture as you can with the MOB camera. Also

pay attention to advice about being nice to guests even if they are taking pictures. My experience is that many of the guests will

not put an effort in producing album quality prints and some of them probably will do nothing with the pictures. I doubt pictures

taken by guests will significantly effect the print orders from you. Sandy

[annie_ryan]

<p>ROB: I like the paparazzi idea! I do believe I will incorporate that. Thank you.<br>

 

Sandy, MANY thank you's! </p>

[nishnishant]

<p>Maybe go without makeup so you look 40 instead of 30? *grin*</p>

[eric merrill]

<p>What I've done is to take the very best picture I can with the P&S.</p>

<p>That's what I'm there for. I'm hired to document the day. If they'd like a handful of pictures done on a P&S instead of with my camera, I don't see how this hurts me.</p>

<p>I can't imagine lying to a customer. Nor can I imagine trying to sabotage photos for one.</p>

<p>The way I view is that I'm not some person that was hired to take pictures. I'm the professional photographer they are paying to help document the day and create outstanding wedding photographs with as little stress as possible for the bride and groom, their families, and their guests.<br>

<br /> I'll continue to smile and take pictures with the bride's mother's camera. I'll do my best with that picture, and with all others. To top it off, it's not even a forced smile. :) It's not about me. It's not about my equipment. It's about the bride and groom and their special day.</p>

<p>Eric</p>

[gregory_c]

<p>Hi Annie, first,,look at like this, when you are 60 you will look 30,,,about your delima, it will probably happen again & again,<br>

do this: say "let me get my shot first", make sure it is perfect, then get their camera, zoom either all the way in or out, then cut off their heads,</p>

[William Michael]

<p><em><strong>"I think my problem is more NOT being taken seriously."</strong></em></p>

<p>I suggest you begin by taking yourself more seriously – which IMO has nothing to do with gender or height or mass – they, IMO are all just excuses.<br />***<br />Re the original posted questions:<br /><em><strong>1) how can i handle this in the future? </strong></em><br />Just do it. As one method for your consideration - I usually request to expedite the process they wait until I have done mine and in that interim ask them to set the camera on auto for me - likely I am not familiar with that particular camera - usually a P&S - then I make an effort to say that just a special request because she is the Mother of the Bride - and I add I also obviously can't just keep taking all photos with all the Guest's cameras – that not only addresses her specific request (makes her special) by also usually designates has the Mother as my ally to address any future, willy-nilly requests throughout the evening – hey - maybe she can help round up Grandma for her formal shot – it’s called “building bridges” and “people management”<br /><br /><br

 

<p>Frankly this is an individual, face to face, service business - not a non-interactive "do you want fries with that ma'm" gig.<br />IMO you have to address your premise for being in a service industry - and then you need to hone your interpersonal skills - which will be predicated upon just relaxing a tad - in the first inst – <br />Crikey! have fun. It’s not like your taking Funeral Photos.<br /><br />WW<br /><br />Addendum, on other matters intrinsically related to the question: <br /><br />To intentionally take a Bad Image or to suggest a colleague do same on a Professional Forum is a disgrace. If one does not wish to take the image for any reason then simply, politely refuse: one does not necessarily need to provide a reason or excuse. <br />Lying to a client is just as poor form, IMO - whilst we are at it.<br /><br />It is not as if one is protecting life, limb, equipment or the final product - which might (in rare circumstances) necessitate some extreme or severe measures. <br /><br />WW</p>

[irusan]

<p><em>"Crikey! have fun. It’s not like your taking Funeral Photos."</em></p>

<p>I disagree! The first three letters of "funeral" are F-U-N <grin></p>

[picturesque]

<p>I've had your problem. I used to be a young woman who looked younger than my age, shooting weddings. I agree with almost everyone above, though. I'd take the picture, smile and be gracious. It is a common thing for guests to ask the pro photographer to take a picture with their P&S cameras. Consider it a compliment, not a disrespectful gesture.</p>

<p>As for the rest of it, I'd make an effort to look all business, even if you have to swing a little toward the severe side. It worked for me. Plus, if you handle yourself so that everyone gets the picture that you mean business, you will get respect. It isn't all about how you look. I used to take male trainees out on wedding jobs only to find everyone assuming they were the lead photographer and I was merely an assistant or gofer. You have to earn respect--it takes a bit more effort for a young woman than a male of any age, but it can be done.</p>

[wedding-photography-denver]

<p>I would datke the picture, but that's me.</p>

[jon rennie]

<p>First off it has nothing to do with you being a younger looking petite female. I am quite the opposite (I am a younger big strong guy who looks a couple years older then I am) and I get Mom's and family ask me all the time to take pictures. I take them, and make jokes while doing it. Normally it is only for a shot here and there and it doesn't get in the way. If it's more then a couple times or too many people start passing me cameras I let them know it's the last one with 3rd party cameras.<br>

Sometimes I have had brides step in stopping their mom from passing me a camera but if it hasn't been a problem I will tell them it isn't a problem and take a quick picture with it anyways. It's all about customer service.</p>

[William Michael]

<p >Rob, that's lame <GRIN Back></p>

<p > </p>

<p >*** </p>

<p > </p>

<p ><strong><em>"it takes a bit more effort for a young woman than a male of any age"</em></strong></p>

<p > </p>

<p >IMO Girls often (now) do have more leverage in our industry with certain Key Client Groups - especially the Mother and the Bride. And communication, entry etc is often more practical for the before shots at the Bride’s home (especially if they are running behind schedule) – often too aligning oneself with the key client when she requires reassurance or reinforcement on minor matters is often easier for a girl than a bloke – often too it is a girl who more quickly sees the need.</p>

<p > </p>

<p >Here (Australia) at least there is an upsurge of Female Wedding Photographers. (there is a very very successful Funeral Company which only employs Females too and bases their Marketing on that Strategy, of a “Woman’s Understanding”) - so - I am inclined to debate this statement somewhat - though the last time we vigorously debated, I recall we agreed to disagree . . . :) </p>

<p > </p>

<p >So that’s my PoV on the “gender issue”, <strong ><em >specific to the W&P industry.</em></strong></p>

<p > </p>

<p >I also do understand the being "diminutive in stature" point of view Annie is swinging at - and once that is not used as an excuse, she will have much more power, IMO.</p>

<p > </p>

<p >And, it is often a good ploy to let the audience think that (in the example) the Young Male is the Lead Photographer, right up to the point in time when he is given a few short, polite but direct instructions - (in front of the audience) - that kind of drives the whole point home, after which there is usually little discussion or questions about who is really in charge.</p>

<p > </p>

<p >WW </p>

<p > </p>

<p > </p>

 

[willywax]

<p>Annie...I agree with Rob..i always comply with the Mom's request (or whoever)...and i make a little joke, saying "Gee, I hope my competition doesn't see me with this camera).</p><p>And please look at my blog about Paparazzis (Papas, as I call them)..</p><p>http://keywestweddingphotographer.wordpress.com/</p><p>scroll down to the 3rd blog about Paparazzi's, and see how I handle it. (It even has 3 photos of them). And I always tell the bride weeks before the wedding to look at the blog so she can spread the word to her guests..."we have a photographer! You're here to see me get married, not to photograph it!"</p><p>Yeah! that'll show them :) :)<br></p>

[walter_strong5]

<p>Just make sure take a lousy picture!</p>