Nikon Rumors

[ronald_olsen]

I heard that Nikon is coming out with a camera that has "Nudity Detection" software. This follows recent developments of "Face Detection" and "Smile detection". This is to protect parents in the USA from going to jail from taking pictures of their little children in the bathtub. Some Nikon field photographers were recently seen in Florence Italy testing it on Michaelangelo's statue of David....

[aqeel]

Nikon and Canon are merging to form a new company called "Cakon" and guess what they are not going to manufacture cameras anymore, they'll be baking butter cookies

[Landrum Kelly]

I am intrigued by the prospect of a Nikon 600 f/1.4. Does it come with front-wheel drive? Can you trailer it? Is diesel an option?

 

--Lannie

[john schroeder]

To compete with Canon Nikon is going to duplicate their entire lens catalog but in white. Nikon will charge twice as much for these special white luxury lenses.

[john schroeder]

Nikon is introducing a new line of compact digital cameras called the hyper-shot. These cameras will offer more noise at lower iso's and cost more money. The LCD screens will be specially designed to self crack one month after the warranty expires.

[BrettPrucha]

I also heard that Nikon wasn't going to sell cameras any more. However the idea that they are going into womens sportswear just doesn't add up. Based on their current press releaseses and the fact that their latest cameras target consumer audiences I speculate they are reinvesting their dollars into time travel R&D. What do you need a camera for when you can travel back in time?

[dropshadow]

Just heard that Nikon's R&D guys checked to see if the competition had anything comparable. Not yet.

I understand the marketing, production, and "new model in-the-works" guys over at Canon were running the same check, and are now in the process of configuring on paper a new line of "Extremely Professional" bodies known as the X1 through X100 series. Guess there is no truth to the rumor they are happy with what they already have.

[lex_jenkins]

I had hoped for something clever and funny from "Nikon Rumors", along the lines of The Onion. But it's just dopey and thickheaded. I've seen funnier stuff on lolcat sites and outtakes of "Howard the Duck."

 

Here's a suggestion: Since the purpose of the site appears to be to make a few bucks from hits, use the money to hire some writers. You need material.

[bobatkins]

Well, I heard Nikon were working an a digital filter for their lenses which only let discrete digital photons though while blocking all analog light waves. This would be the first truly digital photographic system and certainly put them ahead of the "analog light/digital capture" of Canon.

 

Just a rumor though.

 

BTW I'd really like one of those "Extremely Professional" cameras. Hope they get them to market soon. Are they planning a similar line of "Extremely Professional" lenses to go with them?

[tri-x1]

I heard Nikon has hired Chuck Norris to be the company spokesman so consumers will be afraid to buy Canons,

[Peter_in_PA]

Lex,

 

But look on the bright side, it made for a very entertaining thread here today!

 

Wayne Cornell... I'm voting for your post as the absolute funniest.

[eric_arnold]

here's a hot one: nikon's sendai plant, which manufactures the nano crystals used in nano-crystal coating, will be acquired in a hostile takeover by microsoft, who will use it to make a 200,000mm f/4 AF-S ED-IF VR-II mega-telephoto lens specifically designed to spy on yahoo's silicon valley offices from their washington HQ.

 

in related news, lindsay lohan has been arrested on suspicion of nano crystal possession after her mercedes was seen erractically weaving in and out of the drive-thru line at In-n-Out Burger. Lohan admitted she had been snorting nano-crystals, but says they belonged to Ashton Kutcher, not her. Kutcher was seen taking snapshots of Lohan's arrest with a nikon coolpix.

[Palouse]

Heard this in the campus faculty locker room this morning, so it must be true! Nikon is partnering with Subaru and this fall Subaru will release a Nikon Edition of the Outback and the Forester. Among the features are a build in foam-lined camera/lens storage locker; a rack ( think "gun-rack") for the 200-400; a plug in DC power to run D series cameras and SB800; photo-grade windshields with electronically controlled polarizer and ND gradients; and a permanently fixed RRS BH-55 ballhead that pops-up when the sun roof is opened.

[photo_dark]

Apparently Nikon is coming out with a top-mounted, X-rated flasher to replace the SB-800.

[gary_watson]

Fiftieth Anniversity 2009 Black snakeskin-clad F body replica sporting a 24 megapixel FX sensor plus a reissue series of chipped fast primes. You heard it here first!

[gary_watson]

Stop Press! Just in: Anniversity F model will also be available in a variety of "Last Call" coverings from your choice endangered mammals and reptiles. Supplies limited. Act now! Fake CITES clearances available at no extra cost.

[kemalriza]

I heard that I'm getting a 14-24 mm f/2.8 soon...

[cliffdecamp]

Can't top all the good rumors. LOL. :-)

[david_wu6]

"Cakon

Nikon and Canon are merging to form a new company called "Cakon" and guess what they are not going to manufacture cameras anymore, they'll be baking butter cookies"

 

Actually, Blackstone is preparing a hostile take over Nikon and Canonﾒs photo business. The new company will be called Black Ninon. To balance it, all lenes will be labled as Cakkor.

[edchambers]

Glass was mis-pelled to gass, and is now considered an OIL based fuel, thereby making WORSE the backlog of 70-200 and other such items to fuel to the fire of rumors of a price increase. :-)

[mharris]

Hello Kitty D90

[scott_warn]

Due to high Oil prices, Nikon is now in the process of developing a compact catalized Fusor Reactor that will "crack" water into it's basic components, Hydrogen and Oxygen. The goal is to produce a net energy gain in a package compact enough to fit into an 2 square foot volume with enough capacity to produce enough oxygen and hydrogen to power a 400 hp engine. When successful, we can stop worrying about buying gasoline or global warming, our automobiles will run on simple distilled water.

[jose_angel]

<i>"Cakon Nikon and Canon are merging to form a new company called "Cakon" and guess what they are not going to manufacture cameras anymore, they'll be baking butter cookies"</i><p>

 

I`m not surprised they need to stop camera manufacturing. "Cakon" sounds seriously bad in spanish. Can be translated to something like "big piece of sh*t". Please replace this brand name. I believe it could be even worst for the food business.

[john_h.1]

I heard the Nikon Canon Merger talks broke down when Canon insisted on that Cakon name rather than the original Ninon proposal.

[todd_k.]

A friend of mine who was fired by Motorola and is currently being prosecuted for industrial espionage, told me that Nikon and Motorola are jointly developing an SLR based camera phone. No word on crop factor, but he dose know that it will be available in a verity of pretty colors.