Advice needed about shooting a freinds wedding

[mbyrne]

I'm sure this has been covered before, but I couldnt find anythign on it.

A friend of mine is getting married next year and the other night I went out to dinner with

him and his fiance. After they told me they were getting married, he turns to me and says

"you're going to shoot out wedding, right?". I felt like I was kind of put on the spot by

them. I just said, "I'm not sure, I'll have to check my schedule". The finace got kind of rude

during the whole thing when I wouldnt give them an answer and it seems like that they are

expecting it free of charge. They looked offended when I said we would work something

out with price.

As a general rule, I dont shoot friends or family weddings. I think there is too much

personal involvement in it and I wouldnt be able to do the work I would do while shooting

a strangers wedding, i would want to socialize and have fun and not work.

What is everyone's feeling on shooting a friends wedding? The way it's looking now is that

I'm not going to shoot it, I'm just probably going to tell them that I'm booked already.

[jairy hunter]

But then you can't show up at their wedding, right?

[mbyrne]

Thats one thing that I thought about. I'll probably just go to part of the reception.

[kari douma]

I have done both family and freinds' wedding. I'm sure a lot of people will say don't mix business with friendship, but I have always had positive experiences. You do have to be in the mindset to work, not to socialize. If someone starts talking to me a little too much where it would distract me, I politely excuse myself to "get back to work".

 

As far as price goes, this is what I do. I IMEDIATELY say, I'll check my schedule to see if the date is open. Then I come back to them and say "The date is still open. Here is my price list. Don't feel obligated to use me, but if you have any questions just give me a call." At this point I let them know if I am willing to give them a discount by saying "Because you are a friend of mine, I will give you 25% off my prices." If I am not willing to give them a discount I just hand them the price list. I have had some friends book me, and some friends not after this. That is why I let them know right off the bat that they need not feel obligated to use me. I don't want them to feel ackward if they choose some one else, especially if I didn't give them a discount. The reason I just don't tell them a discounted price is so they do understand that I am giving them a deal, and so they wont tell their friends that I do weddings for XX amount of dollars. It is so they realize that they are getting a deal with me because of our friendship, and they appreciate that. I still make them put down a deposit and sign a contract too. I tell them this is so that there is "no surprises on both of our ends". I try to make this very casual, and laugh about it a little, so it doesn't seem funny signing a contract with a friend or relative.

 

Good luck, and don't be scared of it!

[marcsaint]

"I felt like I was kind of put on the spot by them"

"...got kind of rude..."

"...looked offended..."

 

So your friends don't mind imposing on you for free (or at least reduced price) wedding photography and you're ticked off about it. That sounds normal to me.

 

If they hadn't asked you, are they the kind of friends that you would have offered to shoot their wedding anyways (so you could give them a great present or because they can't afford a photographer)? Did you invite them out to eat or did they specifically ask you to go out with them (with the express purpose of ambushing you)? Are they an exceptionally good-looking couple whose wedding pictures will make great promo pieces? Just some questions to ask yourself before you decide what to do.

 

IMHO, there are friends and there are Friends. For the latter I'd write their thoughtlessness off as immaturity and give them a good wedding job AT COST. For the former, I'd be busy that day.

 

Marc

[stacy_dallman]

I shot a wedding for a relative (free) and I actually enjoyed it. They were laid back about everything, and I even had fun and drank at the reception while capturing photos of the evening... It was a low budget second wedding for both of them, which might account for how laid back they were. I honestly don't think that it's such a terrible thing to help a friend or family member out, but it's definately a personal decision and one to be made on a case by case basis. Since you already seem uncomfortable with the whole idea, I would advise you pass on this one by telling them you're already booked with a well paying couple!!

[Ed_Ingold]

If you go ahead with this, remember to think as a photographer, not as a guest. You accept the responsibility to do the best job you can, to control the situation and to keep your cool.

 

Assuming this is a friend and not merely an acquaintance, and did not have another job lined up at this time, I would waive my fee, but work out with the B&G about the deliverables expected and direct cost of printing.

 

If you handle this badly, or don't show up at all, you will lose a friend, and your conscience will eat at you.

[medina photography cherry]

me personally- I don't have any friends. Ok, I get family and friends that ask me to photograph their things too. It is funny, when I was first starting out none of them wanted me to do any photography for them, now they all want me to do it for free. Funny how life is.

[Jochen_S]

O.K. I haven't started a business yet. I once dived away from shooting a friends wedding. - Main reason it was scheduled on a schoolday.

 

I can imagine 2 kinds of working for friends: 1st you are payed regular but doing more or better than usual, the 2nd is you're not payed and although you're doing still better than average uncle Bob, you might miss a few scenes to have a warm meal, chat, dance / whatever too. Maybe you'll shoot film again to have no trouble with postprocessing and editing. Probably that'll be more than O.K. for your friends. For me it would be O.K. too because I like both, my friends and photography.

If you can afford the time for their wedding, tell the friends what of duty mode means and your feelings about achievable quality and your reputation, so they are still free to condemn a 2nd shooter or hire a ordinary pro.

 

In my opinion there are friend who are worth your help and others that aren't. Would this one get a day of to solve your problems? - Yes? - Shoot!

[lauriee]

What about this...Tell them that you would be happy to bring your camera to the wedding and shoot some candid shots for them to add to their album free of charge but Since they are such good friends you want to be able to enjoy thier wedding in the role of a "good friend" and not as a photographer. That way you are honoring the friendship and still giving them something special.

[marcsaint]

This is a little off-topic but one of the respondees for this subject wrote: "It is funny, when I was first starting out none of them [friends] wanted me to do any photography for them, now they all want me to do it for free."

 

I seem to recall a famous photographer who, when asked how he got into photography, replied "I got into photography the way a woman gets into prostitution -- first I did it for myself, then I did it for friends, and now I just do it for the money."

 

Sorry, back to our regularly scheduled show.....:-)

 

Marc

[bruce_rubenstein___nyc]

We all go through this. My line of thought is whatever you discount your regular price for friends/family is a gift. Shooting for free is a BIG gift. Someone assuming that you will do it for free is, to me, asking for a very big gift. I think that it's way out of line for someone to do this. This would just be the case where you are shooting and giving proofs or a CD, and not doing an album. Many people have this notion that the only thing of value is the materials used and not your time. This annoys me to no end.

 

At this point I will either do the shoot as a gift, or just charge it as a regular job.

[david_beal___richmond_hts.]

I expect to make every possible mistake once.

I try not to make the same mistake twice.

 

Having made this mistake once, I'll agree with Edward.

 

I no longer shoot friends or family.

 

Don't do it. If you need a reason, I think you already have one. In your own words, "I think there is too much personal involvement in it." You're right, there is.

 

Good shooting.

 

/s/ David Beal ** Memories Preserved Photography, LLC

[david_schilling___chicago_]

I'm happy to shoot a wedding for family and/or friends. If it's family then its all provided as a gift. With friends it depends on the level of friendship and can vary in range from the amount of actual cost up to 25% off my usual package/price. For my daughter's wedding next year, my plan is to shoot alot of it but I've hired a second shooter who I helped train and have worked with for years (she's fully capable of doing weddings on her own now and does frequently) and she'll handle the procession & most of the getting ready shots....I'll also send her off with the couple for the "love shot" portraits. I plan to do alot of shots of family at the backdrop.

 

If you're not an "established" wedding photographer, then I suggest that you avoid shooting family/friends.

[conraderb]

Mike - I have shot weddings for friends and had a great time. First wedding I did was for a friend, in fact. Great time.

 

I think that the only thing is that you make it clear what your role is - are you being a photographer, or a guest with a camera? If you are the photographer, it will be work, and you should have some sort of agreement, and it is probably reasonable to ask for a nominal amount. I recently shot a wedding where I asked my friends for $200 when I would have usually asked for $1000 (b/c of travel expenses), and once when I asked my friend for $750 when I would have charged $3500 (flying to Toronto from Washington and taking a five hour train to get to the wedding...). For both of those weddings, I had a good time.

 

Think about alternatives - perhaps you could shoot the pre-ceremony and ceremony only, and leave the reception to Uncle Jake? This worked out very well for the one wedding with the picture below.

 

Some friends are the kind who are totally easy going and great to work with. Some friends want to use you to get something for free (thankfully, haven't had any like that yet).

 

It comes down to this - what version of friends do you have? You make it sounds like the fiance has some expectations that might be difficult to deal with...<div></div>