First Jewish wedding, what do we need to know?

[adam_nance]

Hello everyone,

 

Jen and I are meeting Saturday with our first Jewish bride. We're totally excited--it

sounds like a heckuva party--but we don't know much about what to expect. On the

phone, the bride told Jen that it would be a traditional Jewish wedding. We meet

Saturday, so I'm sure I can ask her for all the details, but I'd like to sound a little more

knowledgable before going into the meeting.

 

I saw a post on here a month or two ago about a tent used to cover the B&G, and the

bride said something to Jen on the phone about a traditional chair ceremony(?). Can

anyone give us some details on what to expect and how it will require us to expand

our usual plans (where to stand etc.) or equipment?

 

Thanks for the info! Best wishes,

-Adam

[ellis_vener_photography]

Well first you'll need to be circumcised, even if you already have been...

 

Surely you have some Jewish friends who can describe their wedding to you, or better yet

loan you their video.

[eric friedemann]

Ellis, I'll be chuckling about that circumcision comment for hours.

[peter_cofran]

hope you like Matzoh =P

[lb-]

I've been to a number of jewish weddings and have shot as a guest but never on

assignment, but here's what info I do have

 

the tent is called a Huppa. It's usually just a top, no sides and shouldn't make much of a

difference in your coverage unless you planned on getting some shots from above!

 

the chair part is great fun.

 

the bride and groom are lifted up on a chair and danced around the floor by the guests.

Sometimes they go up at the same time in two chairs but seemingly more often it's one at

a time.

 

either way, I'd guess I'd want to find myself a perch with a little height if possible to shoot

from. The photographer at the last jewish wedding I attended had arranged for a 6 foot

ladder to be at the ready ahead of time and the shots were great.

 

cheers

 

lucas

[photoreu]

I attended my first Jewish wedding yesterday, actually. Just be prepared for anything! The B&G stand under a tent called a hoopa (it's spelled differently but that's what it's called), and their family members are usually up at the alter with them, which makes it hard to get a shot if they're packed in tightly. The Rabbi was also sensitive to where we stood during the ceremony (not sure if they're all like this). They b&g shared a glass of wine twice during the ceremony, and then the groom stomped on the glass at the end. The reception is where it gets crazy. They do the chair thing: both the bride and groom in chairs are lifted up and they dance around, and they also did this dance with a cane which involved the parents and grandparents too. The grandfathers also gave a blessing and broke bread. Oh and before the ceremony they sign their marriage license, sometimes the bride and groom at the same time, or if they dont want to see eachother, they can sign it independantly.. and then 2 additional, not related witnesses must also sign, you'll probably want to get that as it's important. I'm sure there are others that can go into much better detail as to the traditions and everything.. sorry I dont remember the hebrew words for all these things.. It was a crazy bunch though! Just bring your wide angle lens and plenty of batteries for that flash! :)

[errol young]

The above is prety descriptive of a mainstream Jewish wedding but I am not sure that an Orthadox wedding would have a photographer. Men are separated from women by a curtin and do not dance with eachother. It is just as lively and joyful. I did not go to a relative's affair because of the outward discrimination against women. (my mother and sister are women!)

 

I have seen similar discrimination in other religions so I would have problems photographing them too.

 

Errol

[adam_nance]

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful replies. I'm really getting excited about this

wedding.

 

It takes place on a Saturday, so I'm assuming they're not orthodox.

 

Errol- What makes you think that separating the men and women is discrimination

against women? It sounds to me like the men get the short end of that stick. I'd

rather party on the women's side of the wedding any day. :) Just food for thought.

 

And Ellis says I have to get circumcized? Geesh, I hope I never have to shoot a

eunuch's wedding!

 

:)

 

-Adam

[picturesque]

Well, for what it's worth, here are some perspectives based on my experience photographing weddings on the west coast, and I am not Jewish.

 

There are orthodox, conservative and reform sects of Judaism, which range from traditional to less so. I don't think, for instance, that photography is even allowed at orthodox ceremonies. Some customs may be different between the other two. I photographed a veiling ceremony as part of a conservative wedding, in which the groom was not wearing a tux but more traditional clothing. Otherwise, the couple wears the usual tux/gown and attendants wear the typical stuff too. The veiling ceremony is not usually done with reform ceremonies. It involves a separation of the sexes, each having their celebration in support of the bride and groom (separately). The men do a lot of speeches, some drink and singing. The women's celebration is more like holding court. Then the groom veils the bride. In any case, men wear skull caps (kippah or yarmulkah).

 

The wedding contract, or ketubah is signed usually before the ceremony, although I've seen it signed during. It is witnessed by several friends/family members, each signing the document, which is sometimes ornately written/decorated and/or enlarged to poster size. The Bride and Groom also sign. On occasion, the contract is signed separately if the couple is not seeing each other. The signing is done very casually with some couples and Rabbis, and more ceremoniously with others--speeches and song. Sometimes the ketubah is displayed as part of the ceremony itself or reception sign-in table. Lots of photos to be taken during the signing and of the ketubah itself.

 

I notice that with Jewish ceremonies, each groomsman and each bridesmaid enter as part of the processional. Then, the groom is escorted down the aisle by his parents. Then the bride by her parents. The huppah (that tent you mentioned) is open on 4 sides and is mostly stationary although sometimes, it is brought up to the ceremony site as part of the processional by friends/family given this special priviledge. If so, these folks stay at each corner of the huppah to hold it up. The huppah cloth can be simple or highly decorated (sometimes with blessings and names on it). If it is decorated on the inside, be sure to get at least one photo (whether real or staged) so you can see the decoration above their heads. And the usual places occupied by the couple are reversed--the bride stands on the right side of the groom.

 

The area around the huppah can get very crowded. The parents sometimes stand very close to the bride and groom, and with the attendants, Rabbi, Cantor, and huppah holders, you hardly have room to get a lens (a wide angle) through people's arms. Also, there is a big range in Rabbis allowing photos that close to the huppah. Some don't even want you to take any photos during the actual ceremony. Others don't care, so you need to ask in advance. Same with flash and where you're allowed to stand. As someone pointed out, the couple exchange sips of wine and sometimes the ring ceremony is different, so ask about this too. Best to get the exact sequence or attend the rehearsal if not sure.

 

At the end of the ceremony, the groom breaks the glass by stepping on it. The glass is usually wrapped in a cloth. The key thing about photographing this is that you should photograph it when the groom has his foot up, just before setting it down on the glass. Otherwise, you don't get the full effect. Of course, if your flash can keep up, shoot a quick sequence. You should also be in the aisle at this point because right after, they kiss and begin the recessional.

 

At the reception, there are usually about 2-3 horas (Jewish dancing)--could be early or later--where the bride and groom are lifted on chairs. I've seen different ways of photographing this and it depends also, to some extent on the size of the dance floor and how crowded it gets. I prefer to bring a small stepladder and stand on it just outside the largest circle of dancers. If crowded, it can get pretty hairy, plus you'll be in the way of the dancers, if you choose to get inside the circles of dancers. I would want to shoot both wide angle shots and closer shots of the couple in the chairs. An important thing, if you can manage it, is to tell the DJ to set the couple up so that they are facing you when they go up in the chairs. The first expressions when they go up are priceless. Also, most of the time, the chairs are rotated, so you get several chances for shots but things happen quickly so don't get caught short having to change film, or even memory cards, once they go up in the chairs. Sometimes, a napkin is passed to the couple and they try to hold onto it while in the chairs. Shoot lots. Then, the parents might go up in chairs, or sometimes not. And sometimes, there are more Jewish dances of various kinds. Otherwise, everything else is pretty much as usual. Oh, and if there is a videographer, that might affect where you stand, since if he is inside the circle, you'll get him and his lights in your shots. Best to work this out in advance.

 

Other than a stepladder, I wouldn't think you'd need to have special equipment. The stepladder is sometimes needed for the ceremony because many temples have altars (they aren't called that) that are built high.

[ben_rubinstein___mancheste]

I do Orthodox Jewish Weddings about once a week if that's any use, feel free to ask, though it sounds like this won't be that religeous, being on Saturday and all...

[picturesque]

Ben, I'm interested in the differences between Orthodox and conservative/reform. I guess I may never photograph one since I am a woman and not Jewish, but I'm interested nevertheless. I don't have any specific questions because I don't know what the differences would be. Maybe you can offer some?

[bruce_rubenstein___nyc]

A "Traditional" Jewish weding can mean almost anything. Here's a link to a site with the major parts of a Jewish wedding: http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/weddings/advice/wedding_traditons/jewish_orthodox_weddings/index.shtml

 

The reason for an Orthodx wedding link is that they can still be part of a non-orthodox couple. Check with the bride to find out what parts they will have. I assume that since the wedding is on a Saturday, it won't be Orthodox, but will be after sun down.

 

For some reason I couldn't find the proper names of these other things which may take place during the reception:

 

Parents on chairs - If either the Bride or Groom are the last childern being married the parents will also be raised up on chairs. They may be anyway.

 

At Orthodox and Conservative weddings I've been to, the B&G are seated at one end of the dance floor and then guests come up to entertain them. This is usuall done with some rather energetic dancing, presenting babies to be kissed and I've evn seen hats set on fire.

 

BTW, if there is a live band and they do authentic Horas, they can go on for a very long time.

[gary_woodard]

i wouldn't be to concerned about the sexual mutilation requirement (circumcision) if

you are wearing pants, good luck.

[adam_nance]

Oh cr@p! I'm supposed to wear pants now, too?

 

This whole photography thing is a lot of work.

 

;)

[derek_c.]

It's just like any other weddings.<br>

Only thing though.<br>

Around the time when they kiss, they break some kind of glass (groom will stomp on it to break it).<br>

You don't want to miss that shot.<br>

That's all...<br>

[mikal_grass]

Adam, give me a day or so to scan some images from my wedding. Marc Williams and Al Kaplan shot my wedding in May. It was not quite Orthodox in that the men and women sat wherever they wanted. Otherwise, it was pretty much the real deal. If either Marc or Al read this, they can link you to the photos they posted here on photonet.

 

Where is the wedding? How many people are anticipated? What time will the wedding be held (Orthodox Jews will marry on a Saturday night as long as it is after Shabbat)? Traditional can mean a million things.

 

Our Chuppa was a plain black and white tallis that I asked my sister in Israel to pick out for us. It was wrapped around 4 bamboo poles and held above us by 4 of my friends who were wearing white guyabera shirts. The food was glatt kosher cuban cuisine (rice and beans), and the music was mellow neo-jazz latin. There wasn't too much dancing, though.

 

You will have a blast. Just relax and enjoy yourself. If I get a chance to post photos, I will. Send me your email address so I can mail the photos to you privately.

 

Mikal Grass

[picturesque]

Great site, Bruce. Helped me understand more about what's behind the traditions. I forgot about the circling and the time alone after the ceremony--I have photographed those customs as well--actually, the time alone can be photographed with a photo showing them walking off right after the recessional and I've also photographed the Best Man and Maid of Honor trying to listen at the door of the room the couple walked into to be alone. The only problem with that custom is sometimes, the Rabbi wanders off and you lose the family who are supposed to be in the family photos.

[adam_nance]

Mikal,

I'd love to see some of your wedding photos! It's so kind of you to offer. Shoot 'em

to me at adamknance@yahoo.com I tried to get your email from photo.net, but it

didn't show up in my inbox.

Best wishes,

-Adam

[jordan_w.]

I myself had a fairly traditional "Conservative" wedding and I recently went to a cousin's very traditional "Orthodox" wedding. If the couple are doing business on a Saturday (by meeting with you to discuss the terms of the job) then they likely aren't that religious and there will probably be mixed seating and dancing. Others have given you the major parts of the ceremony to keep your eyes open for.

 

An Orthodox Jewish wedding can most certainly be on a Saturday night after the Sabbath ends (some time after sundown). A friend who is the son of a Rabbi is getting married on a Saturday night (motza'ei Shabbat in Hebrew).

 

There is lots to photograph at a Jewish wedding and almost every part of it has a number of different layers of symbolism. (Mikal's wedding sounds like fun, actually -- Afro-Cuban!) If you have any questions feel free to send me a note.

[al_kaplan1]

Shooting Mikal's wedding was a lot of fun and working with Marc Williams was a major learning experience. Actually he booked the wedding and flew to Miami to shoot it and they got in touch with me to help out and be second shooter. Marc shot some color with the Hasselblad but the majority of the pix we both shot were with our rangefinder Leicas using B&W film. Some fill flash was used in a few but I mostly used available light.

 

I only have a couple pix from the wedding in my files so I'll let Mikal do the posting.

 

I used an assortment of lenses from a 15/4.5 Voigtlander Skopar up to an 85/2 Nikkor, including a 21/3.4 Super Angulon and 35 and 50mm f/2 Summicrons. I usually work with 3 bodies which allows taking a total of 108 exposures before you really HAVE to reload at least one of them. I'm adept at grabbing two lenses, one in each hand, and switching them between bodies should one run out of film. Probably half the shots I took were with a 35mm f/2 Summicron from the early '70's.

 

A couple of weeks ago I heard from a very excited Mikal. He'd finally located and purchased one of those magical 85mm f/2 Nikkor lenses to use on his own Leicas. We're supposed to meet for coffee soon to compare lenses. What other brand of camera would cause photographers to drool and slobber over finding a 50 year old lens?

[ben_rubinstein___mancheste]

I've will be doing everything on film until next week when I'm doing my first digi wedding (the last frontier, I've done everything else on digital so far, portaits, engagements, Bar/Bat Mitzva, etc). A while back a guy here posted a page of an Indian wedding together with commentary. I hope to do the same for a quite unique type of Orthodox Jewish wedding.

[al_kaplan1]

I finally found the thread with the photo I took of of Mikal's lovely veiled bride decending the stairs. It's about halfway down the thread. There's also a photo of me shooting by Marc Williams, and towards the end a shot I took of myself with the bride and groom at another, non Jewish, wedding with my 15mm lens.

[al_kaplan1]

http://www.photo.net/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg?msg_id=008oc5

 

Sorry, this is the link to the thread!