How have you felt coming home after photographing the world?

<p>For those who have taken long trips abroad taking photos for business or pleasure I'm curious how you felt after returning to your home. This question came to mind after hearing about the Leanne Bearden suicide after she went missing for several months in my neck of the woods in Texas. </p>

<p>It bothered me that someone as healthy, fit, bubbly and full of energy as Leanne (she ran marathons) could travel around the world for two years documenting it with over 80 videos and posting to the couple's GoExplore365 YouTube page and then just take her own life after returning home.</p>

<p>It's hard to comprehend for me. I've never traveled that much except a couple of states within the US within my 54 years taking pictures of my trip along the way and I never felt sad or depressed upon my return home. Homesick along the way was more like it for me as well as frustration being out of my comfort zone to the point I wanted to end the trip sooner than I'ld planned which I did.</p>

<p>Just wondering from others who may have taken similar trips abroad if depression this severe is common after returning home. I've watched quite a few of the couple's YouTube videos of their trip and no where does it show any indication Leanne was depressed. </p>

<p>Has anyone here known a friend or relative who took similar trips shown any signs of depression?</p>

<p>Several years overseas in the US Navy, lots of photography. Several long hiking trips overseas this century. Never felt homesick, but kissed the ground upon return! Presently assist a lot of people who suffer depression...but have yet to encounter any where it related to travel (or return from travel).</p>

<p>Someone who would take their own life suffers from serious emotional distress regardless of how "bubbly" they appear to be on the outside. People with bi-polar disorder, for instance, can seem like the life of the party when they're in public. But they also can slip into deep depression.</p>

<p>This acute problem has nothing to do with the way that most of us feel after returning home from a vacation or a photo adventure. Folks who struggle with this kind of trouble are in a special category. Sadly, many of them don't get the help that they need until it's too late.</p>

<p>If you know someone who fits this description, or if you suspect that you experience depression at times, PLEASE don't wait to ask for help. We all need help with something, and there's NO shame in asking. Reach out to the mental health services or crisis hotlines in your area. That's exactly why they're there - to help people. That's their entire purpose, and they will be happy to talk to you or someone you know about anything that's on your mind or theirs.</p>

<p>I think this is more about the very, very wide range of human personalities, including mental outlook, mental resiliency, responses to life experiences, strengths of social networks, family support, and similar attributes of an individual's life. Whatever experiences I might be able to cite are likely to be totally irrelevant to Leanne Bearden's situation.</p>

<p>I'm usually glad to get home after an extended overseas trip. This might be about a person who was running away from her problems, and they finally caught up with her. Sad, yes.</p>

<p>Kent in SD</p>

<p>Everything that Dan South said!</p>

<p>So in answer to your question, Tim, we took a whirlwind tour of the country in our camper -- 4 months on the road and bizillions of photographs. I took my computer (a desktop computer, with a nice monitor) along for the ride and pre-processed most of my photos. By the time I got home, I was exhausted, and I have yet to do the final editing of most of the photos from that trip. I suppose I have about 1/5 of them up on my website. The reason? It's frankly overwhelming. I'm not a depressed person, but I've struggled with depression during much of my life. I suppose my inability, FOR NOW, to tackle this mountain of material is a reflection of that.</p>

<p>Anyway, I suppose it's possible Ms. Bearden found herself overwhelmed with all the material she brought back. Or it could have been almost anything else.</p>

<p>FAIW, one very curious phenomenon is that people who attain their first million dollars of wealth (or maybe with inflation there are higher marks now) are at heightened risk of suicide. It's thought to be because they've set a personal goal of some sort, and after they achieve it, they have no goals for moving into the future. Maybe the big world trip was her all-consuming goal, and after it was over, she had nothing else she aspired to do.</p>

<p>Who knows?</p>

<p>Add another voice to those pointing out that her suicide after returning from travels abroad does NOT mean that returning from travels abroad causes severe depression.</p>

<p>It is not very rational I think to believe that there is only one place where one can be comfortable and happy, that being the environment and society of where you live. I travel to expand my view of other people and places and explore the traditions and manner of living they have. There are several extremely positive attributes of where I live near Quebec City and some less perfect but minor ones. My curiosity about my own homeland and that of others is high. Putting oneself in a different milieu is often very refreshing and agreeable. There are some aspects of life in other places that I might wish were more prevalent where I live, but on the whole I prefer where I am at the moment (I have lived in three different countries and within different regions of two of them, as well as paying month long visits to other countries that have intrigued me or came with my career plan). What is also important is that our network of close friends is usually greater where we live and that is one reason why coming home is always very positive, in spite of the pleasure of living or visiting abroad.</p>

<p>Your question is interesting, but the case of the lady you mentioned was possibly much more related to her personal difficulties or health condition than to her experiences of travel. <br>

</p>

<p>Thanks for all thoughtful responses especially regarding mental health. Just trying to gain some understanding by ruling out travel related depression and whether it's common. </p>

<p>There isn't any info about Leanne's mental health history in the news or from the family which leaves quite a few folks local and online just wondering what would cause her to go out in the manner she did which was to go out walking and then hang herself in a tree in a wooded residential backlot with no note. It just looks suspicious even though it seems the authorities have deemed this case closed as another spur of the moment suicide. My gut tells me this isn't over though. There's so many loose ends and odd clues that make this whole event seem bizarre and unnatural. </p>

<p>Took another peak at the Bearden's YouTube page tonight and there's a recently uploaded video dated March 1, 2014 I'm assuming by the husband where a note in the "About" section indicates how tragic depression is with no other explanation. The YouTube author's username is "GoExplore365" which is the URL for the couple's travel blog.</p>

<p>I've always been glad to get home and, at the same time, sorry the trip was over.</p>

<p>I surely made a beeline for the favorite hamburger joint as soon as I got home, though. Perhaps this is why I am a materialist (or is it the other way around?).</p>

<p> </p>

<p>It does sound more like complications beyond her travel experience, or ordinary post-peak letdowns. The bipolar roller coaster is the most popular amusement park ride in my family, so I've seen the ups and downs, highs and lows, many, many times.</p>

<p>And suicides among folks suffering from bipolar disorder don't always accompany outwardly noticeable signs of depression. Some folks choose to end it during peaks of their lives, knowing from past experience that a downturn is inevitable and they'd rather go out on a high note.</p>

<p>Also, the peaks on the bipolar roller coaster aren't necessarily good. It isn't necessarily the opposite of depression. Often the peaks are accompanied by not only increased energy and creative sparks, but also by extreme irritability and impatience, irrational and reckless behavior and compulsions. Minor setbacks and irritations are escalated into major drama. If they survive those risk-taking times, those folks will often apologize to friends and family members who were hurt or inconvenienced. And the whole cycle goes 'round and 'round.</p>

<p>Incidentally, for weeks I've been <a href="https://encrypted.google.com/#q=zina+nicole+lahr&safe=off">pondering the death</a> of <a href="http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2013/12/creative-compulsive-disorder-remembering-zina-nicole-lahr/">Zina Nicole Lahr</a>, a promising young artist, last year - perhaps because it happened on my birthday which, after age 50, tends to become less a celebration and more a day for introspective reflections and meditations on life, the universe and everything.</p>

<p>The news reports described what sounded like a not-unusual hiking accident. But after viewing her promotional video and art, I read more about her, including <a href="http://normallyodd.com/">her blog</a>. Her blog entries were full of existentialist angst, meditations on the meaning of life and hints of romanticized fatalism or longings for an experience beyond this mortal coil.</p>

<p>Additional potential complications and stresses may have come from the death of her sister in a car wreck a couple of years earlier, and having had to interrupt her budding artistic pursuits to return to Colorado to care for an ailing elderly relative.</p>

<p>And it may very well have been simply a hiking accident, and nothing more.</p>

<p>That's why we are fascinated by these types of losses. Too many loose ends, too many unanswered questions. And we tend to read ourselves into their stories, wondering what we might have done with their youth, vigor, and creative spark, now that we've cross that middle aged peak and see the valley below... or another peak that we're not sure we have the energy to climb.</p>

<p>Be sure to watch <a href="http://vimeo.com/80973511">her video</a>, which was done shortly before her death. In a world full of creative spirits, she really was unique and had a lot of potential.</p>

<p> </p>

<p>I think Kent formulated best, what I often have experienced myself, traveling extensively abroad and talking to a lot of fellow travelers. Many seem indeed to travel as a tentative escape from themselves and their life conditions. Coming home and confronted to the many perceived "reasons" of depression, can be just too much. Planning the next travel, can be a relief for some. Others draw more drastically conclusions. Luckily, for most, traveling is a life confirming and life enriching experience, that provokes an opening of our eyes for the diverse realities of life in different parts of the world. </p>

<p>However, we should not forget that some of our most admired photographers were in no way great travelers, but stayed put in their close neighborhood. </p>

<p>And the artist Rousseau, "Le Douanier". Travelling is formative and revealing, but so is the imagination.</p>

<p>I remember the feeling of overwhelming pleasure and comfort from the sights, sounds and particularly the smell of spring in the UK after returning from our round the world once in a lifetime trip.</p>

<p>I also remember the disorientation that followed when friends and family had tired of our stories and it was time to decide what next. I often say that the six weeks of unemployment I suffered shortly after our return were one of the most difficult periods of my life. I needed to get going with the next stage of my life. </p>

<p>I was lucky. It didn't last long and I was supported by friends and family.</p>

<p> </p>

<blockquote>

<p>Her blog entries were full of existentialist angst, meditations on the meaning of life and hints of romanticized fatalism or longings for an experience beyond this mortal coil.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Lex, that's a fascinating find to a very interesting and uniquely creative person but I wouldn't say she died mysteriously or from suicide. Her persona and lifestyle she revealed freely and open to the online world is completely opposite from Leanne's sparse background. Leanne's more a mystery than Zina.</p>

<p>I spent the afternoon reading up on Zina from those google links you posted and it says she was brought up within what I would describe as a virtual social cocoon as a home schooled evangelical christian child living in a box canyon town of 1000 pop. in the Colorado mountains. There's no indication from what I gathered from the Outsideonline article http://www.outsideonline.com/outdoor-adventure/media/The-Brief-Wondrous-Life-of-Zina-Lahr.html quoted below that she committed suicide or was depressed...</p>

<blockquote>

<p>At some point on the 20th, Zina climbed above the Perimeter Trail, possibly to get a better view of town and its surrounding peaks. Then she slipped. Or rockfall hit her from above, crushing her skull. Nobody is quite sure what happened, but the police ruled out foul play. “From what I understand of the coroner’s report, she was not aware of her impending death, so she didn’t have any adrenaline in her system,”...</p>

</blockquote>

<p>That point about lack of adrenaline in her system is far more revealing information I didn't even know could be determined by a coroner while we know nothing of Leanne's coroner report. It was an accident. No mystery of whether there was foul play or suicide involved. She just came off a 40 day religious fast of only water, tea and smoothies and was built like a bird. Most likely she became light headed and exhausted climbing above the hiking trail and just fainted and fell.</p>

<p>Thanks for the heads up on those links. I got to see what the creative kiddies are doing nowadays that isn't sourced from rehashed counterculturalism. I tunneled down to all the hyperlinks in that article and was lead to so many other cultures and people I never knew existed including the animators of "Large Marge" in the first PeeWee Herman movie.</p>

<p>I was in Mexico City 27 days photographing the 1968 Olympics for a major photo news service and would have killed for a real hamburger before I left there but it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. No depression. I don't think you can "blame" travel for the demons in a person's head. They would be there at home, too, although perhaps a feeling of being out of a familiar setting might cause problems to spike a bit.</p>

<p>I am not sure how much insight we get into a typical traveller's mental state from these two albeit compelling examples, one who had travelled and, coincidentally or not, apparently sought a fate that might have been related to what she experienced travelling or what she compared that to when arriving at home, or neither, and the other, who was travelling only in the private world of some creativity and parallel religious activity, and who may have been overcome from physical exhaustion brought about by 40 days and 40 nights of fasting. They are compelling but somewhat outrider to the overall consideration of how travelling affects us photonetters.</p>

<p>I don't think I would be surprised that others may look to travelling as I did when seeking summer jobs long ago as a teenager, and then upon uiniversity graduation, feeling a powerful need to see how others lived in our world, what values they hold and how they compared to mine (those of my upbringing). Travelling more recently, I still am curious about those differences and welcome opportunities to exchange with others and also to see and experience new places and customs. Coming home is not a problem, as fairly long absences have the advantage of making us more anxious to renew with our own milieu and its pleasures, and to resume with new energy our local activities. That is pretty well how I see it. </p>

<p>Gary, that is an interesting view of a traveller missing a home product. I was amused a few years ago visiting Portugal and finding the visitors from England, a country I lived in for some years, sitting dressed on the beach reading their copies of their favorite English newspaper before going to the local watering hole for a British beer. What made their visit untypical of home was just the temperature. I am fairly sure they were a minority of their countrymen.</p>

<p>Glad you were intrigued enough by Zina's story to spend so much time investigating her story. She was a fascinating person. Who knows what she might have accomplished with more time.</p>

<p>Perhaps the best thing we can take away from these tragedies is a renewed appreciation for the time and energy we have and to make the most of it.</p>

<p>I had missed the details about her 40 day liquid diet/fast, which may have contributed to some loss of strength, coordination or ability to recognize and evade potential danger. Her overall life philosophy reminded me of those genuinely life-loving, trusting and perhaps naive hippies I met as a kid in the 1960s hanging around Greenwich Village.</p>

<p>Unlike most, I feel strong trepidation about going on a long foreign trip. Once I'm there, I feel fine and it becomes progressively better such that when it's time to leave, I don't want to. A decent burger paid with money I understand is a big help.<br>

Years ago I had just returned from a trip to Tibet and was getting over the bug or two I had picked up there. I went for a long slow walk and passed by a bunch of cop cars on a busy avenue. Turned out a high school girl had thrown herself under a streetcar over a bad encounter with some boy at the adjacent shopping center. Tragic foolishness of epic proportion. This girl had EVERYTHING compared to the average person in Tibet or Nepal. This waste has continued to bother me.</p>

<p>I am in sympathy with what Jim has experienced. We tend to forget how unsettled and inexperieced we were as teenagers and how unable in many ways we were to encounter difficulties that later in life have a much less critical importance for us. Unfortunately, we cannot change the long path to maturity of the growing human and the slow reaching of maturity, or of the capacity for judgement (which apparently is not fully achieved until we reach the mid-twenties), but we can only try to foresee warning signs of teenager feelings that in the Nepal case were absent or too spontaneous to control. The case mentioned by Jim can of course happen anywhere, and many of us have been close to similar cases, which leave a hollow feeling and its sequels.</p>

<blockquote>

<p>This waste has continued to bother me.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Jim, would it have bothered you if you had never experienced such an event?</p>

<p>I keep asking that same question to myself and whether that is affecting how I judge or feel about such events. Why am I so curious about this?</p>

<p>Why am I being bothered by these types of events when I didn't back when I was 20 something when the information age technology and the world wide dissemination of current events and the ability to easily travel internationally was far less prevalent. Maybe we're the ones that don't have a clue and now just seeing the world the way it has always been throughout history as live and unedited collection of random, senseless acts.</p>

<p>We're projecting our own meaning onto these events as something new and to be avoided in order to feel safe. I've gone on many walks alone in three major cities and several small towns and out in the woods countless times in my 54 years with no mishaps. I see Leanne Bearden do the same in what I'ld think is some pretty dangerous and hostile territory around the world making 80 videos of their 2 year adventure, she make her way to my Texas backyard and BAM! she's dead. Never knew she existed before that moment.</p>

<p>Why does my mind want to play investigator?</p>

<p>Always felt good.<br>

Reason being that as soon as I get back, momentum/anxiousness immediately starts building up in anticipation of the next trip.</p>

<p>Like Dani, when I come back a similar desire is re-ignited in me for trips to explore other places. I more practically direct that enthusiasm to more local places and photographic projects, very rewarding in themselves, until available funds and time let me resume the role of vagabond photographer in new places.</p>