"NO, i will NOT take a photo with your camera!"

<p>Reading all these stories makes me laugh. I get asked this a lot and never see it as a problem. Commonly when I'm taking a formal group one of those in the group will ask me to take one with their camera too. Absolutely not a problem. It's all part of being the friendly photographer.</p>

<p>To those who would decline this request I am probably Satan. At a recent wedding a guest asked me to take a pic of her and her husband with their 400D. Not only did I take it off auto and set it up manual like my own camera, I put my own flash on it too instead of the pop-up so they got a great shot, totally different to what they are used to with their own camera and all done, start to finish in about 20 seconds. It's not a big deal in the timings of the day and if it's going to mean you miss something just tell them politely you'll come back later and then make sure you do.</p>

<p>The result with that example? The man says "that's why he's the pro they hired" and the wife hires me in to do portraits of their kids. The bride and groom tell me that this couple were still raving about me the next morning. That is worth far far more than the bit of money I may have got had I declined their request and used my own camera so they bought a print off me at a later date.</p>

<p>At weddings after I've finished guests have grabbed me and asked me how to improve their photographs of the dancing and I've given impromptu 2 minute lessons. As someone else said I've tied cravats, given spare laces, helped with button holes and even held a baby while a stressed bride looked for a clean nappy. People remember these things though and it becomes part of the good story of the day - in what business world, especially one that relies so heavily on referrals, wouldn't I want to be part of that narrative of positivity, assuming I'm not missing any shots (and I'm not)?</p>

<p>Wedding photography, in fact all people photography, is 98% how you are with people and only 2% taking photographs. Relaxed and happy people make for the best shots, no question.</p>

<p><em><strong>"ive worked in customer service for about 15 years and ive learned when your working with people you just have to humble yourself no matter how retarded they are"</strong></em><br>

I like your style, Megan Griffith.<br>

WW </p>

<p>Ted, this is only ONE example of customer service doing a wedding. <br>

I have not had a wedding in 5 years that has not had someone come up to me and compliment the way I treat people and how good of a job they think I'm doing--<strong>mid wedding!</strong> It's an opinion, based of life experience, which is all any of us have to work with. I'm trying to preserve the uniqueness & value of my work, which is not synonomous with having a bad attitude. How you treat people <em>all day</em> and your integrity overall is how you will be remembered, in addition to the final product!</p>

<p>I have seen guests give their cameras to wedding photographers to take pictures at weddings. I don't think this is an issue of them not taking you seriously; they simply assume that since you are a professional photographer, if you take the picture with their camera it will look better than asking someone else to take the picture. This has happened to me when I have my 4x5 set up on a tripod and am under the hood trying to focus! Don't take it as an offense, it's actually more of a compliment than anything. If you are busy, then let them know that you don't have time right then, but always remember that they are all potential future customers or referrers and try to avoid telling them no for such a simple request.</p>

<p>Ms. Ryan...</p>

<p>You ask: "1) how can i handle this in the future? better yet, How can I stop this from happening to me?</p>

<p>I respond, somewhat indirectly: </p>

<p>I don't think it is your youth. You are probably conscious of what you think is a youthful look and perhaps do your business harm in reacting poorly.</p>

<p>It could have been a cheapskate wanting something for nothing or; It could be someone who thought you had been hired on a basis like a waiter or doorman for the occasion and they simply did not know any better. Either way, she should have duked you a few bucks. </p>

<p>Many years ago, probably in the mid '50s, I was at a nightclub where a young lady photographer took and sold B&W pictures of the diners as her regular job/business and probably paid the house a nightly fee or gave it a cut. I bought a picture set of my table with a print for each person (5x7? or 8x10? in little folders) for probably around $3.50, total. When she came back with the pictures for approval and payment, AFTER paying her, I handed her my camera and a $5.00 bill (about $50-$75 in today's dollars) and asked her to take one with my camera as I had Kodachrome in it. She was delighted to have the $5 and insisted on taking quite a few shots of us rather than just the one I was trying to get her to do. She did so most graciously and I'm sure was glad to have $5 for just a few minutes of her time and without having bought, developed her own film and made several prints with her equipment, chemicals and paper which she had just done for $3.50 and had been glad to have that $3.50 to boot. </p>

<p>If the lady would have handed you a twenty with the request I hope you would have had the good business sense to take a few snaps and thank her for her "tip". </p>

<p>Tom Burke</p>

 

<p>Mr. George...</p>

<p>I like your style. </p>

<p>Tom Burke</p>

<p>Mr. Palminteri.....<br>

<br />Your kindness and good business practice that day might not have made you any additional money that same day. But.. I'll bet that business/personal attitude has made you good money all your life. </p>

<p>Tom Burke </p>

<p>P.S. I can still remember being 61. </p>

<p>I completely agree with Steve George, that is the way a professional should handle themselves.</p>

<p>Tangentially related, in a fun way, with possible inaccuracies:<br>

A friend of a friend was at a local fund raising event. She approached one of the event's "special guests" and asked if she could get a quick snapshot of the two of them. Before the friend could pass her camera to someone else to take their picture, the special guest said "I can do that " and then quickly took the classic at arm's length self-portrait-with-other shot. The special guest, Annie Leibovitz.</p>

<p>What a pity you missed the moment...to win the approval and support of the bride's mom. <br>

The quality of the image(s) and Wal-Mart / drug store processing from a P&S could never rival professional photographs.<br>

You surely blew any cross-marketing potential. <br>

Suggest you invest in some therapy, lighten-up and recognize that it is the family's event, not a professional studio shoot. </p>

 

<p>I don't shoot weddings, but if you're really against taking the pictures, just say you don't know how to use the p&s cameras. In my case, this would be 100% true.</p>

<p>@Dave T,<br>

completely agree with you concerning the "acid tone".<br>

But saying you don't know how to use <strong>p</strong> &<strong>s</strong> cameras appears quite silly, because almost everybody knows or can easily tell you: just <strong>p</strong> oint and <strong>s</strong> hoot ;-)<br>

Best regards<br>

Georg</p>

<blockquote>

<p ><a href="../photodb/user?user_id=174501"><em>A. Thomas Burke, Jr.</em></a><em> </em><a href="../member-status-icons"><em><img title="Subscriber" src="http://static.photo.net/v3graphics/member-status-icons/sub10.gif" alt="" /></em></a><em>, Sep 29, 2009; 09:44 p.m.</em></p>

 

<p><em>Mr. Palminteri.....<br /><br />Your kindness and good business practice that day might not have made you any additional money that same day. But.. I'll bet that business/personal attitude has made you good money all your life. </em><br>

<em>Tom Burke </em></p>

 

<p><em>P.S. I can still remember being 61.</em></p>

</blockquote>

<p>Hi Tom,<br>

Thank you for your kind words. As you know, I'm sure, it's not about the money. I read your response to Ms. Ryan's post and I thoroughly enjoyed your encounter with the 'roving' photographer in the nightclub. I also enjoyed Steve George's post.</p>

<p>I took some time to view your portfolio of photos.<br>

Delightful, to be sure. Real, genuine photos of real, genuine unretouched life.<br>

It doesn't get any better than that.<br>

One caption stopped me cold.<br>

<em></em><br>

<em>"The whole family. Only things left are the two boys and the Kodachrome slide."</em></p>

<p>Chilling.<br>

Our actions outlive us, and what we leave behind will touch people.<br>

Whether we are "good sports","big tippers", etc., our actions travel longer and farther than we imagine.</p>

<p>I hope I get to "remember being 61".</p>

<p>Bill P.<em></em></p>

<p>Take their pic and slip them your business card...:-)</p>

<p>The issue of appropriate dress transcends the photography issue. If you have issues with everyone assuming you are a kid because of the way you dress, this will adversely affect the way you deal with people, not just on the job, but in everyday life. This is an easy trap to get into if you are petite, but lucky for you, it isn't impossible to find age appropriate clothing for petite women. <br />You can say yes to the MOG or MOB and no to the guests--as a professional you need to learn when it is appropriate to say no, and when it isn't. A mark of a professional is the ability to say no without hurting the feelings of a reasonable person--allowing them to "save face." Any reasonable person knows that the MOB and MOG need to be handled extra carefully.</p>

<p>As of now ther have been over 100 responses to this question. Ther have been several differant views as to protocal and what to do.<br>

So just as an exercise:<br>

Imagine you are in your studio, a young bride to be is sitting across with you, with her mother. The bride wants you to be her photographer but the checkbook is in the mom's purse along with a print-out of this thread. She has been doing her own homework and recignized your name on here.<br>

Do you start sweating or are you feeling assured that she is going to be pleased with your response. And write that check.<br>

If you think momma is gonna have second thoughts about hiring you, based on this thread you might want to re-think your position. Just my opinion<br>

wlt</p>