<p>It looks like the light you used is much too hard and/or you need to post process and retouch her skin more. At the moment you're showing every minor skin blemish - we all have them, but they're much more noticeable on a photograph.<br>
I think by a strobist kit you mean a small flash and umbrella - it would be helpful to be more specific. Trying turning the power of the flash down and moving the umbrella closer, making it softer (softness = angular size relative to subject - this is THE biggest thing to understand about lighting) and add a reflector - even low level on-camera flash - to get rid of the shadow moustache under her nose. (On-camera flash is supposed to be the devil, but used intelligently it can work.) You might also try bouncing the flash off a reflector and then through the diffuser umbrella.<br>
To get the look you're after, you need to shoot with a softer key light and with it set closer to the level of fill - which looks like it should be unidirectional. Buy a couple of used slave flashes and point them at the walls for fill, measure the level with the histogram, set the key as close as you can without it being in frame and so that it pops up the brightest bar on the histogram say 50%. Then adjust.<br>
<br />..Although I can't help wondering if flash isn't on the verge of becoming obsolete for this type of photography, given how cheap and powerful LEDs are now.</p>