Suddenly, the tranquility of the desert was shattered.

As you are well past the tender years, and display flashes of brilliance on occasion, it should not befall me to advise you to invent a little story. Here's the drill:

Title---"NAKED DEAD NUDE WOMAN CSI CRIME SCENE"

Storyline---Make something up about being on a wilderness survival trek light years away from paradisical San Diego with only your Boy Scout knife and V8 juice, when you discover the body. which is just beyond yon hillside behind crime scene tape.

Now that's got drama and punch. Wouldn't think a redneck from Fresno would have to tell ya that, mate.