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comments welcome available light and Nikon 85mm lens

The entire face is in shadow. Your highlight/keylight is on her back/ear... why? For a short lit portrait, the light has to be on the side of the face turned away from the camera. For this 2/3 view of the face, the light ought not be coming from behind or beside the subject. Try to imagine the light coming from a point somewhere half way between its current location and your left shoulder. Also, the catch lights in the eyes indicate your main light is rather low.