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Please let me know if this technique is working or if I should try a

new direction...

It's working - the centre of interest is the left eye, the line of light up the cardigan and the piano keys both lead to the eye. There is a catachlight in the other eye to give it life. The shadows on the right cheek don't fall highly attractively and maybe you need to place your key light higher. The left shoulder is too bright and doe act as a second/competing point of interest. The cheek is soft. Maybe there is something you can do with the chin - bring it forward to make it stronger and remove the slight fold under. - the layed back position (slouch) also causes the neck/chest transition to bunch up.

Vignetting/shading is good. The curve of the piano leg in that bright area distracts a smidgin. No hot spots is good as is the direction of the gaze - back towards the light - short and sweet.