Young Mother Passes - Last wish: Take care of my babies.

A young mother in the Caribbean dies from complications after a third child birth. While in hospital with everyone asking her to 'hold on', she calmly predicted that she would be gone in ten minutes. And indeed in ten minutes, she closed her eyes for ever - or is it for ever? She had enough time and strength to make wishes known. At her funeral which was packed with family and friends, one old lady wanted to know why green leaves were falling while brown ones were still on the tree.

 

Is photography of the dead, lying in a beautiful white casket have value and does it raise questions of heaven and hell or whether one should capture such an image.

 

 

In a small country church surrounded by verdant mountains, the white casket arrived and a funeral service was held. A poem she composed for her wedding 5 years ago was read as part of the eulogy.

 

"When I think of you, there's warmth in my heart, When I see your handsome face, my breath threatens to depart.

 

Your kisses so tender, your LOVE so rare, Your arms embrace me, Putting to rest my fear.

 

I promise to love you, Never to let you go; I will be ALL that you need, And with you FOREVER I'll grow.

 

This summer our lives become one, My heart and soul are yours to take, The world will see our sacred love When we are pronounced man and wife".

 

Her husband bowed his head and wept.

 

At the end of the service and with a setting sun, a pigeon 'who' had stayed in the rafters during the service, flew into the sun to a resting place that we could not see.

Very emotional subject and story.

 

Very risky, but tastefully done.

Certainly the most original photo that I've seen on PN. As Darren said, tastefully done. Not a subject matter that most would choose to deal with but it is a fact of life and I, personally, find some comfort in the fact that she looks so peaceful and you have included her loved ones. I did have a couple of ideas that you may like, or not, and have atteched them here. May she rest in peace.

 

~Anthony

Appreciate the comments and the work you have done on the image as per your attachment. I love what you have done with the image - it is very much in tune with my thoughts when I placed that cloud opening.

 

I suspect that I should be able to manipulate the image to replicate what you have done but any tips would be appreciated.

Certainly. First I added some DIFFUSE GLOW to brighten and soften it a bit. Then I used the DODGE tool to remove the hard edges around the inset. I used the same tool to create the light beam from the sky. I had to use the BURN tool set for MIDTONES on the clouds around the opened sky due to the loss of detail on them from the DIFFUSE GLOW. I increased the BLUE saturation in the sky a bit. Last I did a bit of DODGING and also used the HEALING BRUSH on the darker spot at the mid botttom. That was it!

 

~Anthony

Thanks. One day I will work up the courage to submit this for ratings and critique and sit back and get the gamut. Perhaps there will be no reaction.

OK I have worked up enough courage to submit this one for critique and

I expect everything. Can I suggest for aesthetics, you use the impact

(positive or negative) the image had on you when you are rating it as

opposed to making you feel good. For originality: have you seen

something like this before? My motivation for this image was based on

an emotional situation in which I found myself and with which I can

empathize. My hope is that this image will get you to think about the

time you have left, what is important and what to do with it. After

the ?ceremony? and after all the emotion, this impacted me most

positively.

Looks like we are not getting too many comments.

My heart goes out to HER family. jim

Thanks for your comments.

I'm a bit suprised about the lack of comments. This is a "Touchy" subject for most people, I think. But I would also think that it is an opportunity for others to express opinions on a rare photo. When I saw it, I was compelled to leave a comment, not just because of how well I thought you handled the subject matter, but also because it is such a rare type of photo. I'm not sure that anyone could see this and not have a range of emotions flow through them.

I came across this because I saw Anthony had made a comment on it.

 

I saw it first thinking wow this is a put together piece (like a scrapbook piece that I have done with my kids and such on PN) and what strong clarity and color it had and was well done.

 

At first I thought it was a mother and baby asleep and I started looking for the baby. And then it hit me. It was not a new mother but a casket. Then my heart sank because I knew this was a youg mother. I knew without reading this was a young mother well beccause I saw what you had written.

 

I was breathless trying to hold back my tears and be strong and figure out what happened. She was so very very beautiful.

 

I personally thought that it must be a grave illness and then I continued to read what you wrote "A young mother in the Caribbean dies from complications after a third child birth".

 

See, I had a very very rough pregancy both times with my kids and I had seizures with my second child. I almost died YET I knew I would be fine and he would be fine. We, as mothers, know these things. She knew this and it sounds strange but I understood what she said. I now have seizures again (had not had them for over 13 years. So yes this touched me very deeply looking at her casket as this easily could have been me. This could easily be me on Saturday if I have a bad seizure so it is hard to look at someone so beautiful in a casket.

 

Now, as for should you post it? YES, YES, YES! Because it is a beautiful picture with a gorgeous frame and the way they walk through her is done so wonderful. THe flowers of color and the richness to it is just perfect.

 

I love the clouds all around it (Anthony or your way look just perfect to me). I love the little cloud up top.

 

I personally think that printed out this is a great tribute and I even think this is a beautiful picture to put in a scrape book and look at.

 

I know that most people don't want to look at the dead but when someone looks as beautiful as this when they have passed on. then it is glorious.

 

She knew where she was going (to me it looks like she did). AND she is ok with it.

 

Thank you for sharing this! ~ micki

Thanks for your continuing support on this photo - as you say this is a 'touchy' subject for many. I felt compelled to do this image for reasons which I will outline when I reply to Micki.

You almost had me in tears, I can see why you empathize with this image and I hope you will be around for a long time. I also live under a cloud - a stage III Colon cancer (surgery with 6 months of weekly chemotherapy) for which I am tested every 6 months (one last week without results).

 

At the time of this mother's passing, I was staying with a family in the Caribbean and I saw the shock and disbelief that someone so young and vivacious could be gone. The funeral was both moving and beautiful with emotions that traveled through extremes (grief, laughter and acceptance). I suppose I saw that I also could have been lying there - I had a strong compulsion to record this with my camera and produce something by way of a tribute. I am positively driven to spend my time carefully and as fully as possible. Hope that both your experience with your health and with this image, that you too are driven in a positive manner.

 

All the best and regards,

 

PS I thought it was the strangest coincidence that when the image was displayed in the critique forum "roll by' the following image was a sunset photo of a grave yard. perhaps the elves arranged this.

oh crap my silly tears.

 

I am recording my looking at my world from my perspective. Silly me yes.

 

I too have had six biopsies for a Sarcoma. Not many people have known that on PN. I have been lucky in that in has been removed and I have not had to go through the horror you have had to go through but I do go through the six month MRI's and the expense of doing so. Luckily since my husband is in the military the cost is covered.

 

I think because of these things we both are much more aware of the emotion of a picture rather then the perfection of a picture and that is truly (in my humble) opinion what makes a better photographer.

 

Perfection is just that but it can be dull. Emotion and life to a picture makes us cry, laugh, sing, grieve, giggle, ponder, jump for joy and just plain go CRAP!

 

We engage ourselves like this picture. I truly feel like I am standing over this like a viewing.

 

You engaged me and that is what this picture did.

 

Those that gave it lower ratings were afraid of it.

 

Photo's are not always meant to be perfect bird photo's.

 

You did well, you take care ~ :) ~ micki

To heck with the ratings on this one - knowing that it touched folks like yourself and a couple other PN members is enough for me. Sorry: Can't keep this dialogue going.

Many things occur to me while viewing this image. Firstly, I think it's a very legitimate subject for photography. It is real life and it would be hard to think of a more important genuine moment to capture. You have handled it sensitively and shown an emotional connection which is vital here. I recently got the new Annie Leibowitz book and she has photos of both her dead mother and father, their caskets, funerals, graves, families, etc. My reaction was to be quite moved. My personal view was that I probably wouldn't be able to bring myself to take such a picture of one of my own loved ones, which says something only about me and my abilities and desires, nothing about what should or shouldn't be done by others. For a photograph to be great, it needn't make me feel good, it needs only make me feel or think. This does. Nevertheless, I'd prefer if it had been kept simple. I understand your wanting to show mourners and family, but I think this particular treatment feels, to me, a bit commercialized and "put together" instead of having an immediate, in the moment, and more intimate relation to the subject. Perhaps just a straight shot, in the right light, of just one mourner sitting by her casket or bedside, that one mourner able to represent all these people surrounding her but in a more simple and stately manner. Of course, this is a very personal matter. Nevertheless, I'm reacting more photographically than personally, which is what I try to do here on PN. I hope my thoughts make some sense to you, whether you agree or not.

Thanks for taking the time to respond to this image in such detail - something many people don't do. I completely agree that I should have had a 'straight' shot with interesting light and elements to make an image better than this one. I guess I will never quite make it as a Journalist since I saw 'opportunities' but decided against taking them. A grieving mother leaning over the casket and kissing her daughter - the same mother whose legs collapsed from grief and had to be helped back to her seat or the father who stood in the pulpit while his friend read the eulogy - imagine capturing that with a solemn expression and the 'dead mother' out-of-focus in the background. I did not have the heart to be walking around getting the perfect photo. The next best thing for me was to create this image. Sometimes there are photographic decisions one must make which may not result in a 'great' photographic image but one that met my objectives.

 

Best regards and your thoughts do make sense,

Tony, I think you are courageous in posting this picture. Not many people are comfortable with the subject of death, much less reminded of it through a photograph. I am not a photographer and never claimed to be one, so the comments I make are about how a composition affects me personally. Undoubtedly it is a sad picture, made even more tragic when it happens to a young and beautiful woman leaving her kids behind. Sometimes I think that the worst part about death is not the person who died but the surviving loved ones having to deal with the pain. I like the way that you composed this. She is at the center surrounded by people mourning. To me, that symbolizes how much she is loved. The opened sky on the upper left hand corner seems to be welcoming her soul to heaven.

 

You could not have said it any better - yes a difficult subject indeed and causing myself and Micki to reveal stuff about ourselves in this very public forum that under most circumstances - we would not do. It is not that personal 'stuff' is taboo but I really wanted my images to speak for themselves. It is now one year since I started participating in PN and I would prefer that comments and ratings be done without a sympathy element but based on the merits of the image.

 

PS You are a photographer even that you claim not to be and like many of us - growing within this community called PN.

This is a difficult subject in many ways, you have dealt with it very well. The photograph captures the atmosphere of this sad event. Very well composed, it gives prevalence to its subject and the understanding and reverence the event deserves.

I have not seen anything like it on this site before so it is very original and I must say, well done.

Thanks for your endorsement - appreciated. One of the nice things about PN is that I keep discovering photography and art - many of it which is very original. I am sure you are discovering new ways of seeing things. I will try and stop by your images at soon as I can.

I really only looked at it TODAY. After your comment on the picture of me (butterfly).

 

Silly isn't it. But I just say some of your pictures (you will se the comments if you haven't already).

 

Anyway, I come back to this one to only do this one thing. A hug! Thank you for just being you (silly tears). You reminded me to be ME on PN. Again I forget (as FRED who commented after mine) that I am always out of the box here but still trying to stay within certain rules of photography and I am still an artist. YOU posted this picture because you knew it would touch people. You are way out of the BOX and now I see so MANY different colors and I have got a new spark.

 

THANK you ~ lots of hugs! Sparks, sprinkles, and everything. Thank you for sharing everything. Including a bit of your human side.

Thanks very much for sharing. My doctor called a few minutes ago to give me good news from my 6 month test done mid July - so I too am energized for the next 5 months or so! Take care and don't be afraid to step out the box - I have trouble doing it so I should not be giving advise. Best regards,