CRIT: Invitation to review my portfolio

[dale_schreiner]

I'm not sure if this is the appropriate use of CRIT, but I'd like to

invite you to review my Cemeteries portfolio at

http://www.photo.net/photodb/folder?folder_id=384036

 

Early morning light flowing through these necessarily static places

activates the inherent restfulness infusing it with a quiet energy.

I find myself more awake, more aware as I walk among the markers.

Yet, I find it a bit disorienting to be reading the grave stones of

19th century Oregon pioneers while listening to traffic enter the

nearby interstate.

 

This portfolio is part of my ongoing exploration of the

juxtapositions of light and shadow - with all of the metaphors that

conjures up in the middle of a cemetery - as well as the

encroachment of modern urban growth onto the resting places of

Oregon's pioneers. I hope you enjoy it.

[eric_perlberg]

Hi Dale

 

I acknowledge your bravery and fear for your sanity in doing this! Here goes...

 

As a theme, what you've outlined above is interesting. I don't think it comes across in the photos strongly enough. Taking your own words, I don't find the photos convey an element of disorientation. Perhaps some unusual perspectives or playing with foreground-background relationships might bring that out more. You write about reading the grave stones but there are none that we can read, the subjects, the grave stones and the people they represent don't feature in the photos in any way. I think, to achieve your objective you need to find some way of visually bringing that issue more to the fore.

 

You write about juxtapositions of light and shadow but most of the images are well exposed with no real strong contrast of dark and light, charrischuro type work (I'm sure I've misspelled that but too lazy to walk to a dictionary). There are 3 or so images like the one titled Headstones which begin to play with light and shadow but i think for your goals you need to develop this contrast more. It doesn't feel spooky or ethereal or time warping to me, just like well photographed (technically) shots. Perhaps I'm being too cliched here about what cemetaries are suppossed to be but I'm trying to respond to your own goals. White fence seems to have potential but I don't feel the contrast of "fenceness", *esp in the context of "souls in a graveyard" or the interesting contrast of who/what's being fenced (certainly not the souls but this feeble attempt to keep people out, why would they want to go in?)* is developed enough. The fence doesn't stand out. I think revisiting this and thinking about these issues should help. I do like the topic and that is something that is sometimes the hardest to find. I hope these few thoughts are helpful.

[ray .]

Has some feeling of Friedlander, Evans, and Atget for me. Nice work.

[octavio bustard]

Dale- thanks for posting. Cemeteries are a difficult subject. If you are looking for juxtapositions of contrast, XP2 Super may not be the most effective film for you; have you thought of trying Tri-x or HP5? As for your theme i.e. the encroachment of modern life, I think the picture of the headstone with the fence behind it is very good. The headless statute is a good subject that doesnt work; something about the placement of the statute in the frame. If I had any advice to give, it would be to make your crops uniform e.g. all 2x3 to give the series a uniform look. But then again, all is advice is gratuitious; its your project, do it how you see it!

 

Nice work. Show more as you build on it.

[michael_kastner]

Dale, nice pictures. I enjoy your portfolio and cemeteries are my favourite objects. Early morning light is always a good way to activate energy. Fine and good, but I have another habit. Cemeteries look best to me in the evening, as the sun goes down. Especially very long shadows. Otherwise lots of fog. It was the end of their life and I like it to look that way. Thanks.

[lutz]

Dale, technically your photos are first rate, perfectly exposed, fine range of tones. What I'm not so attracted by is composition. There is just one shot that really works for me, the one with the shopping cart. All the others are just too "busy", without a real center of interest. My eyes roam constantly in order to find some orientation. I think if "disorder" is your subject it must not therefore become your language. The shopping cart picture seems to indicate a direction to go: Give the spectator some rest to become aware of the juxtapositions, messy disorder of the place, without being stressed by a "disorderly" representation of it. Another strategy, as indicated by others above, could be moving closer, enhancing the foreground vs. background contrast and thus giving your picture a stronger pronounciation. Go back to the place, and dig a little deeper... ;-) It's worth while. And thanks for your courage and confidence in asking for critique. :-)

[mark_lloyd1]

I think you need to concentrate on excluding everything that doesn't need

to be in the image.

 

Currently your images are very cluttered and you are not getting in tight

enough to the key elements.

 

There are at least 2 or 3 images there that if you crop away about 50% of

the unessecary content you end up with quite strong compositions.

 

I am not sure if it is my monitor (or personal taste) but I find the contrast

is a little flat in most of the images. It is very hard to find pure white and

pure black areas.

 

For impact and to make the images more graphic I would suggest printing

them a little harder.

 

Overall it is a start and certainly you have shown you can take a well

exposed picture but to make them stand out from a million other

cemetary snaps you must really get to the key elements in each image

and hone your composition skills.

 

In general what is left out of a picture is often equally as important as

what is included. Sometimes making the viewer work to add the thing

hinted at will make the picture have far more impact and leave a long

lasting impression.

 

I hope this doesn't sound to harsh as anyone opening up their art to

critique has taken a brave step, however I hope you appreciate that the

only way to grow is for others to be absolutly honest in that critique.

 

Remember these are only my opinions and as such others will disagree.

Only you can decide in the end what advice moves your art in the

direction you are trying to achieve.

 

Good luck

 

M

[dale_schreiner]

Thank you very much, everyone, for your thoughtful and detailed input. I find it very helpful in terms of refining and sharpening my thoughts around this project.

 

A couple additional questions, though. A theme emerged among the critiques regarding a lack of central focus, extraneous detail, etc so that the eye wanders around the frame with no clear place to land. Point taken, yey this is actually my intent in many cases (not just with these photos) so that the viewer remains interested and engaged. Is this actually working against me in terms of keeping interest?

 

And do you find that your preference for detail without definite center of interest (general view of the area) vs a more stark, graphic composition differs if you are looking at a print rather than a monitor? I ask this question, because the few people who have seen the prints (details much more clearly evident) comment that they enjoy seeing all of the details, including the ability to read some of the headstones. So how much does the viewing mode affect your impression of a photo?

[ray .]

<i>So how much does

the viewing mode affect your impression of a photo?</i><p>

It can affect it very much, and I can imagine what kind of nice detail might be in the prints.<p>

I disagree with much of the criticism here, and I think if you feel it's right to you, you should stick with it. With due respect to Lutz in particular, who I think usually has very good judgement, "lack of a central interest" is sometimes a legitimate criticism, and sometimes a reaction from an aesthetically challenged viewer. I may agree a couple are weaker than the others, but I think in general these are very nice photos.

[mattalofs]

Hi Dale,

 

In answer to "is this working against me", I think it is at the moment. I think it might be worth trying out two different takes on these shots.

 

1. Shoot with something more contrasty. Maybe even push whatever film you choose just to bring out more contrast. I think I'd like some of these compositions better if the contrast was more evident. It might add a level of energy that I find lacking. I'd particularly like to see Wrought Iron Gate http://www.photo.net/photo/2213410 done with more contrast.

 

2. Ignore the contrast comments and instead tighten the compositions up a bit. I think that in particular the following three shots would benefit from moving the center of interesting over to one edge of the frame and letting the background play around in the other half of the frame.

Shopping Cart http://www.photo.net/photo/2213442

Headless http://www.photo.net/photo/2213448

Martha Pullen http://www.photo.net/photo/2213444

I think that this might enhance the juxtaposition of urban/resting that you are going for.

 

Having said that, it's interesting work. I find shopping cart particularly intriguing. It makes me want to see the scene for myself.