steve m smith Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 <blockquote> <p>The bride seems to really want me to still shoot the wedding</p> </blockquote> <p>I thought you had already done it.</p> <blockquote> <p>She has me running in circles editing and re-editing bridal portraits, and I am over 8 hours in on re-edits</p> </blockquote> <p>So these are just portraits you have already done before the wedding?</p> <p>I feel sorry for the groom. I think that anything he does once they're married will be wrong in the mother in law's opinion!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_h.1 Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 <blockquote> <p><em>The bride seems to really want me to still shoot the wedding</em><br> I thought you had already done it.</p> </blockquote> <p>I thought so as well. That's what my comments were based on.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ted_suss Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 <p>Why would he ask about wanting to walk away from a wedding that's already been photographed? Of course it hasn't happened yet.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve m smith Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 <p>Because he was talking about re-editing photos which had already been taken and thinking of refunding the money.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean_schreuder Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 <p>Just start telling the MOB that all these extra demands will cost more... that should shut her up. :)</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_beach Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 <p>No, I am sorry for being confusing. The family ordered a wedding package that includes a bridal session. I did the initial session, then all hell broke loose. What I am dealing with is finding a good way to either make them happy without putting me out of business, or a way for me to give back their deposit and walk away. The wedding is in six weeks, and hasn't been done yet. </p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve m smith Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 <p>If you really want to get out of it, just give back the deposit and hand over all of the images. Tell the mother of the bride that you cannot (and will not) work with her interference.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfidaho Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 <p>Howdy!</p> <p>If you have a clause in your contract that allows for a substitute should you be unable to attend the wedding due to illness or other obligation, you can subcontract the wedding to somebody else who might not mind a difficult MOB so much. Just be up front about the situation with the new shooter.</p> <p>Since you're sick of working with the MOB already, I would claim illness.</p> <p>Later,</p> <p>Paulsky</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bms Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 <p>If possible, cut your losses. You won't get a recommendation from the MOB - or at least not one you'd want.</p> <p>I'd contact the B&G, state that you will shoot their wedding but only without MOB interfering in post production, or otherwise refund the deposit and walk away. I feel sorry for B&G, but your mental sanity should take priority. Sounds like the bride already knows her mom is jeopardizing the whole thing but may not have the guts to stand up to her.</p> <p>My 2 cents. Good luck.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_hitchen Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 <blockquote> <p> you can subcontract the wedding to somebody else who might not mind a difficult MOB so much.</p> </blockquote> <p>That won't solve it. The problem so far has been the MOB interfering <em>post shoot</em>. No matter who takes the pictures the OP will still have to contend with her requests, and a subcontractor will definitley <em>not</em> do all that post-shoot work for free.</p> <p>I think you are justified in having a meeting with the couple explaining how you normally work, and that her mother is making excessive demands. You can explain that if they want you to continue the shoot (and you would be delighted to) then you will have to agree how you will work and what is expected afterwards. You should then confirm this with an e-mail - you could do an addendum to the contract but the issue there is that it would have to be signed by all signatories to the original contract and that includes MOB so someone will need to do a major selling job to get her to do that.<br> The MOB seems to be relying on moral support by 'friends' who are pushing her. Is there a chance she will try and take control over the shoot at the ceremony itself, especially if her 'friends' are there? If so you could consider agreeing a set of formals at the wedding because the last thing you want is MOB ordering you around all over the place at the wedding and complaining like heck if she does not get the shots <em>she</em> wants.</p> <p>This is all presuming, of course, that you would like to continue with the job. </p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_beach Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 <p>Okay, I wanted to pass on the update for this topic. What I did was compile all the wisdom from your posts (thank you so much, by the way). I sent a letter to the B&G, and the mother. It explained from my perspective how volitile the situation had become, and how important it was for the <em>bride</em> to have her needs met on her day. I wrote an addendum to the contract that spelled out every last detail of the scope of my work, down to the breath, so there could be absolutely no squeezing room for anymore photographer abuse. It outlined what went wrong, and I gave them two options: either read the attached addendum and all three sign and return, or I would be happy to give them a refund of their deposit and an official letter releasing them of the contract, so that they could find a more appropriate photographer for their needs. <br> As someone anticipated, once I stomped my foot down, mom backed off. I got an apology from her, and a request to please continue the wedding, and they would all be signing and returning the addendum. <br> I feel that with the signed addition to the contract, the scope of my work is now as clear as it can possibly be, which will save me from further issues down the road. <br> I intend to see a lawyer to draw up a better contract now that I know what things can happen.<br> Thank you for all of your input. What an invaluable group!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_hitchen Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 <p>I'm glad it worked out! Best of all, you seem to have handled it very calmly and professionally and that can be a very difficult thing to do under the circumstances.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ted_suss Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 <p>Please keep us updated on the situation as it progresses.<br> A valuable lesson here that comes with experience is that you are the one who has to draw the line in the sand, otherwise the client will keep pushing. Best of luck!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DickArnold Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I wish I had had PN when I started my wedding business 13 years ago. This forum is photonet at its best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ted_suss Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 <p>There was hardly any internet 13 years ago!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_godwin1 Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 <p>I may be wrong but I think Photo.net has been around close to 20 years.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jens_g.r._benthien Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 <p>You know what I would have done after the first insult?<br> Return the deposit, erase all images and send the MOB to hell because I don't like to be treated like an idiot from brainless people.<br> I don't know the copyright situation in the US, but in Europe all images, rights and licenses belong to **the photographer**. So it is always my personal decision if I return any funds and trash the material if the client does 'not like' my work, despite the artistic freedom I have.</p> ------------------------------------------ Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craig_gillette Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 <p>It's not a copyright issue. It's a contract law issue. Breaking a contract, or dealing with unforeseen issues, etc., come with requirements for both parties. Both parties are obligated to minimize the potential for damages to the other party. </p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbollinger Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 <p>To prevent a recurrence you should consider doing these two things: <br> Redraft contract to clearly set forth your obligations and<br> Make sure future MOBs are not signatories on the contract, unless a MOB is signing a separate contract simply guaranteeing payment. The contract should be written so that MOB has no say in the work. Then, stick to your guns. <br> Get a local lawyer to help you draft the contract. Don't play lawyer and risk doing it wrong. </p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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