Upset Mother of the Bride

[s_rangel]

<p>Let me bring you up to date before the question....<br>

Prior to the Wedding:<br>

I was hired by the Grooms Parents four months prior to the wedding. During the first meeting they signed the contract and paid the Package Fee up front. I gave them several business cards and told them to have the bride and groom contact me for a meeting. One month prior to the event the Bride, Groom and Groom's parents meet with me and everything went great although they were an hour late. <br>

Rehearsal<br>

Friday- So, I show right on time and am the first person there. The Bridal Party and Parents show up slowly after and the Bride and Groom show up one hour late, again! Everything is complete craziness and unorganized. But, most wedding are :)... I introduced myself to everyone and write down name and important details. After three and a half hour we are finally done. <br>

Saturday- The big day!<br>

The Bride and Bridesmaids are 45 minutes late, no one is dressed and formals are to be done prior to the cermony. The mother of the bride is everywhere doing too many things for pictures. I get the girls moving and ready for action and we are down to 40 mintures, but the bride will not leave the room because the groom is taking his formals with my assistant. After the ceremony they cut my time again by 30 minutes. All timeline are out the window. After all the is done, today I receive a voicemail from the mother that she has been crying all weekend because she didn't get as many pictures with the bride as she wanted and would like to do a re-take. I have never had to do a re-take before. If I decide to do one, should I charge? How much? Has anyone encounter a similar situation... One more point, all of the pictures I do I have are a really good variety of the day and very nice. Currently, I am still editing them and have not set a day to view the pictures. Please HELP! What to do with upset mother of the bride.</p>

 

[troy_nethaway]

<p>I don't do photography professionally...just as a hobby so my perspective is consumer....I do perform other services for fees and we all know that good relations and satisfied customers are the best advertisement. Be gracious and give her one hour of your time...I would include these photos with the original group. You make money from selling pictures...why make her mad?...take pictures she will want to buy. </p>

[kristina hill]

<p>I once had a similar situation. In my case the MOB had to leave the wedding because her son had gotten ill. She took him to the emergency room right BEFORE the ceremony and didn't return until there was one hour left of the reception - she missed formals completely.</p>

<p>At the end of the night, I offered to do a retake as she was (naturally) a bit upset. We discussed it and I suggested they wait until seeing the proofs before we set something up. <br /> <br />After seeing her proofing gallery she felt fine! I knew I had gotten some great shots of the bride and mom, etc. during 'getting ready' and at the end of reception. I think it was the initial panic on the day of, but she felt a sense of relief once seeing the proofs.</p>

<p>I wouldn't have charged, but that's me and specific to this event. I had worked with the family before and I would like to work with them again. It was also a situation so out of anyone's control and so unfortunate that I wouldn't have felt comfortable charging for my time.</p>

<p>You said you feel like you captured the day well and accurately, so maybe suggest they wait for the proofs until something is scheduled? She is probably just nervous and obviously she isn't seeing what you're seeing as you leaf through the proofs so she's imagining the worst situation possible.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

[vincent_peri]

<p>I would politely inform her that everyone should have been on time, otherwise you couldn't get all the photos they wanted. I'd also agree to a re-take, but for a fee since you fulfilled your part of the contract.<br>

Let me mention that I'm not a wedding photographer, so my view of the problem may not be realistic. I just felt like replying.</p>

[picturesque]

<p>What to do now:</p>

<p>1.) Do not promise anything until they have seen the pictures. How can she know what you got of her and her daughter without seeing the pictures? Tell her you will discuss the possibility with her after she has seen everything.</p>

<p>2.) Decide what you want to do if, after seeing the pictures the mom still wants a re-do. If it were me, I would give an hour of time and do some re-dos, particularly since there are things you could have done on the day to make up the 'missing' photos--without charging. But you will have to put limits on the situation in both time and kind and number of images taken. Otherwise, they will take advantage of the situation and get an additional sitting for free. You will also have to make it clear that it wasn't your 'fault', and are not acknowledging blame, because people will make it seem like it was.</p>

<p>As for the actual wedding day and events leading up to it. Always push for padding on the schedule and point out possible pitfalls to the couple and parents. On schedules where the formals are to be done before the ceremony, I always make it clear that the biggest problem with this is lateness, both on the part of the wedding party and family, and on the part of other family members needed for the photos. It is critical because if you falter here, you have no fall back on the session after the ceremony since no time is allowed for it there.</p>

<p>The rehearsal should have been a clue. I am pretty good at guessing whether lateness will be a factor after speaking to the couple or family a few times. If I think it will be, I factor in padding or Plan Bs and Cs even though I don't tell the couple I am doing so. Also recognize a schedule that is too tightly paced. Many people have unrealistic ideas about how things will happen. I do not agree to such schedules and/or give a clear warning that I think the schedule is unrealistic.</p>

<p>On the day, if I am falling behind, I go with my back up plans on making up the missing images. I fit them in whenever I can. Make notes, if you have to, so you don't forget what was missed. I actually point out what images are missing to the couple or family and get their input on what they want to make up. If they do want to make up, I insist upon the time to do so. This is where bargaining helps. You might have to slip in bits of sessions here and there, throughout the rest of the day. I sometimes have people sign off on my list of missing images, so there is no question later, but that is rare.</p>

[david_schilling___chicago_]

<p><em>"I was hired by the Grooms Parents four months prior to the wedding. During the first meeting they signed the contract and paid the Package Fee up front..."</em><br>

<em></em><br>

That was your first mistake, I don't care who pays the bill but the B/G sign the contracts and must take responsibility for their wedding photography. MOGs and MOBs often present with the most problems and can be the trickiest to deal with. Good luck.</p>

[aimee_pieters]

<p>Let me start out by saying that I would do whatever I could to make everyone happy. A reshoot is time that is well spent, but as Nadine points out, don't do anything until you sit down and review the images you have. And make sure this is done in person and NOT online. You need to show that you care.<br>

If she does want a reshoot, set up a mutually agreeable time and don't charge, BUT don't incur any costs such as tux rentals, dry cleaning, hair, make-up, etc. After all, they were late. You might also find out if this unhappy mother is actually going to order any photographs.<br>

If you can please them, this is cheap advertising. Also, I know that most photographer on this site are opposed to any type of list of requests, BUT think of how a detailed list including a time schedule would have helped in this situation. Take care of your customers....-Aimee</p>

[s_rangel]

<p>Thank you for all the information....<br>

I have spoken to the Mother and she has agreed to take a look at the pictures with the couple before deciding on a re-take. She seemed to have calmed down quiet a bit from the message she left me this morning. </p>

<p>Aimee- I often go by my detailed list. I had the specific list that the Bride and I went over on at our meeting. My assistant was constantly looking to the MOB throughout the day and she would never stick around long enough for more than one picture. But, I will continue to go by my list. </p>

[craig_shearman1]

<p>If your contract was with the groom's parents then you have no obligations to the MOB whatsoever. Get the proofs ready to show ASAP and let her and everyone else see them. If they are happy with what you've got, end of story. If MOB wants something more, shoot it, but charge her appropriately for your time and have her pay for any out of pocket costs like tux rentals, flowers, etc. Remember that this is a business. You showed up and did your job and fulfilled the contract. If MOB didn't get time to eat any of the wedding cake or the catered dinner because she was late, would the caterer come back and bake another cake or cook for her for free?</p>

[Leonard-just-Leonard]

<p>I like Craigs answer about the caterer wouldn't make another dinner or cake... good analogy. sure pictures last longer, but business people have to make those kind of decisions.</p>

[dave_wilson1]

<p>Yep, I smoothed over a wedding like this a while back. It was a Friday night fiasco that ran completely off schedule. I went to their house, shot two rolls of 120, shot the bull, had a cup of coffee with them, and they're now married 16 years, I ran into them at a local eatery, and guess what? That's all they talked about ws how wonderful I was and the pictures and all that stuff, so hence the little extra trouble is worth it, IMO, just stay a bit firm and keep verything in check so you're not taken advantage of. This also made m laugh remembering another Friday wedding I did at the big Vista Hotel in Newark. I arrived one hour before needed, aked the desk clerk to call the room an let the bride know I could start whenever they were ready, and he said "are you kidding, they haven't checkied in yet". Boy was I glad that was a subcontract studio job.</p>

[wedding-photography-denver]

<p>At this stage, I would offer a short session to re-take some that include her and the B&G. Shooting this gratis may keep your reputation in tact somewhat, especially if you do it with a smile.</p>

<p>Never sign without the B&G doing the signing.</p>

[daverhaas]

<p>I've had one (maybe two now...) weddings where I was contacted and contracted by the MOB or MOG. I always ask if they are handling all of the arrangements and details...if the answer is yes, then I'm okay with it. If not, I get a little nervous.</p>

<p>As for the situation - you've got a lot of good advice here and it sounds like the crisis has cooled down somewhat. Keep in mind that a wedding is one of the most stressful occassions in life...right up there with births, moving, etc... And if it's the only child or the first wedding in the family, the stress is racheted up to 11 on a 1-10 scale. </p>

<p>Finish the photos, let her look at them and then if she's not in enough or happy, then work with them on a session... Unfortunately it's not always easy to get everyone together for these shots after the fact.</p>

<p>Dave</p>

 

[dawn_kelly]

<p>As stated before, she what coverage there is and see if they are happy with that. <br>

Was the job unlimited time or a set number of hours? This is why I contract for a specific number of hours. If there is no limit, some events will view that more as 'the photographers time does not matter since it is unlimited'. From the photogapher's stand point, timing matters regardless if you are there for 6, 8, or unlimited hours. If you have a set number of hours, then it helps to get cooperation in keeping things to properly progress. If they run constantly late and run out of time, they can purchase additional time (either full price or discounted, your choice). I started to do this after having a bride 2 hours late. </p>

[diane_c]

<p>What does the contract say? Our contracts state that we will attempt to get all desired images, but because of time limitations, weather conditions, and any circumstances of late or missing wedding party members, we do not guarantee them. If additional images are needed, additional time will need to be purchased at $XXX per hour with a minimum of XX hours charged.<br>

Diane</p>