convincing bride and groom to meet before the wedding

[betty_lowrey2]

<p>I think it all boils down to what you want for your clients and what kind of photography coverage you are selling. Some clients really prefer a hands-off approach. Normally, my formals take about 45 mins...at the very most. The rest of the day is completely unobtrusive and non-orchestrated. Completely fly on the wall. I love the results I get from this.<br>

To each their own, as is the case with MANY aspects of photography.

[aimee_pieters]

<p>I always present all the options and let the couple decide. I have had many couples who have decided NOT to see each other prior to the ceremony regret their decision. I have never had a couple who has decided to see each other ahead of time regret their decision.<br>

This brings to mind an interesting story. This particular couple opted to have all their formal portraits taken prior to the ceremony. During the ceremony, the bride accidentally spilled red win all over her dress. This was in the film days prior to digital retouching. The bride thanked me many times for offering her the option.....-Aimee</p>

[Ian Taylor]

<p>Personally I don't try to convince them of anything. It's their day, not mine. I throw in my 2 cents on a few things but really just work around what they decide.<br>

When it comes to tradition, that's the last thing I would mess with.</p>

 

[catherinevankempen]

<p>I'm getting in on the tail end of this but I feel pretty strongly about this ...<br>

I would be very careful about trying to convince people to change to something as big as this. If you have to "convince" them it's probably not a great idea to push the pre wedding picture session. <br>

I'm all for giving them the option, but I wouldn't push the matter. I felt very strongly about not seeing my husband till the big moment and if a photographer had tried to talk me into changing that I probably would have walked away, and at the very least I would have felt defensive. Pushing an idea the couple isn't thrilled about can lead to lost clients or clients that agree to your ideas but maybe aren't happy with it, feeling pressured into doing something they don't want to do.<br>

As someone else mentioned, if a couple feels strongly about not seeing each other before the wedding, you can still do at least some of the formals before hand and save the others for after.<br>

Catherine</p>

<p> </p>

[cjogo]

<p>We generally accommodate by first :: shooting the bride/family 2 hours before & the groom gets the hour > just before the ceremony .... if they do not wish to be seen together beforehand. <br>

We can then shoot the couple/party immediately after the ceremony ---they just miss most of their cocktail session with their guests. Not my rules, just the time line at the venues.</p>

[g.e._masana]

<p>I lay it all out to them and explain why it's preferable; I'm there as the pro to advise what I know in my experience will help attain the best results, just as a Doctor may advise about a treatment plan or a lawyer a legal strategy. I make them aware of all the benefits associated with so doing, they may not be aware that it's more then just about being free to attend their cocktail hour. Then it's their choice, but either way they'll know what to expect.<br /> <br /> I also tell them that breaking tradition by seeing each other before the wedding doesn't have any negative impact on their marriage, but from what I know, that seems to have more to do with seeing each other *after* the wedding, ha, ha.</p>

[think27]

<p>I'm with Arie Vandervelden on this one.</p>

<p>Rarely have I had couples that wanted to do this and when I did it was second weddings that were very casual and no big reception - or couples that already eloped and were doing a real wedding for family and friends. These were couples that wanted to go to historical sites and spend some time doing something special.<br>

I also worked with couples often to give them ideas for a 1 1/2 hour or 2 hour cocktail hour or have the ceremony moved back an hour so we'd have some time to do everything they wanted to do. </p>

<p>As my couples hired me to do "real moments".... ...."real memories" - which was my slogan on my site, cards, brochures etc... they were not into doing the shots before hand.<br>

Furthmore, prior to the ceremony, there is so much to do! You run into people being late, rushed and stressed from late hair appts, problems with lost shoes, late florists, last minute decisions about the outdoor festivities because maybe it's going to rain etc. etc.. Couples often are also trying to remember/memorize vows, worried about the details and so on... The stress of all this can really show in photos on the faces and even in the way people carry themselves.</p>

<p>In my case, I'm very happy I didn't have to do this often. Probably 5-6 times in 17 years. The joy and happiness 'after' the wedding is palpable. I can see this in the entire family and especially the couple.<br>

I do photos of the bride, the bride with the girls, the bride with family members and sometimes the groomsmen ahead of time and I can see a huge difference in the photos I do later after the ceremony in everyone. </p>

<p>But - that's just me. No offense intended... but I personally always felt this practice was to make the photographer's job easier - not the couple's photos better... Although I do understand that if they have a large list - it does allow the couple to get this out of the way so they can transition from the ceremony to the party easier...so that can be a great asset for the couples. Again, I prefer other alternatives and to get many of the shots - without the couples - done ahead of time to make it a faster session between the ceremony and the party</p>

[g.e._masana]

<p>Well, OTOH, when the portrait session is confined to the cocktail hour, some of the critical time needed is cut shorter and impacted by participants arriving late, the waitstaff coming along to take orders and then serving the B&G and other participants (sometimes while you're right there taking the shot and they step right into the frame), the MC or DJ who says he only needs to speak to them for 5 minutes (which turns into 15) regarding getting the order of the names correct for the entrance and making sure they have the right songs picked out, the Caterer who wants to show them the room before they open it up, the Dad who figures he might as well have a drink since it's the cocktail hour and he's not needed at that exact moment and disappears and doesn't return by the time he is needed. Or the dad who asked me to "hurry up" because he was hungry and wanted to get to the cocktail hour. And of course, the B&Gs themselves who would really like to attend their cocktail hour in the first place and get a lttle antsy about it, and I don't blame them.<br /> <br /> There's also something to be said for having an earlier time period where nothing is scheduled, the B&G can have that moment where things are lighter, and less stressed out in getting their session done. They get to see each other for the first time, twice, that day. And I've noticed those sessions seem to produce more relaxed results - and twice the memories. Jasmine Star blogged recently about having a similar experience herself when she was a bride.<br>

<br /> Make the photographer's job "easier"? Well, let's say we shouldn't make it more difficult then it need already be. I don't insist that my Doctor try to examine me while I'm doing other things, like conferring with my office manager about my agenda for the day or order pizza to be delivered so I can have something to eat while I'm in the examination room.<br /> <br /> You know, I often think that no where else on the wedding day do the B&G schedule two events to happen at the same time like they do when they figure taking the portrait sessions during the cocktail hour. So I suggest that if they're going to schedule two things to happen at once, it really would be better to have the cocktail hour occur during the ceremony. That way, they can have a drink, as can their guests, while they're getting married.</p>

[g.e._masana]

<p>The "nail the exposure in the camera" JPG premise certainly is misleading. Most of those photographers have images where the gown's blown out, when they're exposing for the face. The photographers for whom that loss of detail would drive them up a wall, shoot RAW, I've noticed.</p>

[StuartMoxham]

<p>I've shot many of my B&G portraits before the wedding cermony. It seems to be about 50/50 here. Many couples have their portraits shot in a studio so I guess they find it easier to go to a studio before the ceremony if they have a rush to get to the reception after the ceremony.</p>

[imagesbylori]

<p>I wouldnt convince them if they really dont want to. But, if they are indifferent.. great! more time for pics! <br>

My husband and I met before our wedding to get all our "romantics" out of the way so we would have more time to party! and not keep people waiting.. </p>

<p>=) good luck! </p>