surfidaho Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>Howdy!</p> <p>Almost forgot. By all means purchase insurance. If you advertise with wedj.com, they give great discounts on equipment and liability insurance.</p> <p>Later,</p> <p>Paulsky</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent_hilburn Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>You should get even using Photoshop. If you can take an overweight women and make her skinny, you should be able to do the opposite. LOL!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfidaho Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>Howdy!</p> <p>Let's be perfectly clear about one thing: do not sabotage this persons photos or try to catch her in embarrassing moments, no matter what our gleefully vengeful compatriots suggest (mostly in jest). That will get you into serious hot water, and ruin your reputation.</p> <p>It actually might be tempting for you to overcompensate by shooting more pictures of this person than others in order to win favor. Don't do that either. Just capture the standard MoH images that you would ordinarilly do, and don't show this person any undue attention, either positive or negative.</p> <p>Later,</p> <p>Paulsky</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiva Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>A mature adult would merely speak to the bride instead of putting their own ego and zeal for opportunity and financial reward ahead of a fully informed bride. </p> <p>This could truely backfire big time if the bride finds out from the MoH that you withheld a tidbit of information from her that could effect the mood and the energy of the bridal party at the last moment.</p> <p>Please report back to the thread after the wedding to let us know what happened so all can learn. I'll be quiet now. Best of Luck in your decision but it appears you've already decided to take the risk.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilmilco Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>Bea Trice,<br> many congratulations with your first assignment as official wedding photographer.<br> Make a beautiful wedding series and things will be allright.<br> Prepare yourself very well to the assignment and concentrate on your job.<br> I am curious if we can see 1 picture when you are finished ......<br> Best greetings</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfidaho Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>Howdy!</p> <p>I respectfully disagree with William Morgan. A mature, responsible, and <strong>confident</strong> adult would not worry overmuch if somebody might be offended by their mere presence in a professional capacity.</p> <p>The statute of limitations on most crimes in the United States is five years. It's been six. If the MoH has not moved on, then it's entirely her problem, and quite frankly, any conflict, past or present, between Bea and the MoH is none of the bride's business.</p> <p>I grew up in a the relatively small city of Boise, where I shot most of my weddings. I've met a lot of people I knew at weddings, most who I liked, but a few who I did not like, and did not like me. It never stopped me from doing my job, and I never let fear of running into a disagreeable person from my past prevent me from booking a wedding or following through on a contract.</p> <p>Bea, you have been hired to provide a valuable service, and I have every confidence that you will come through with flying colors. Just do your job, and all will be well.</p> <p>Later,</p> <p>Paulsky</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas_hardy1 Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>In my job we sometimes have VIP type "clients". I've learned to treat them the same as you would any other client. (give them the same excellent service you would anyone else) When you overcompensate one way or the other, things seem to go wrong.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuartMoxham Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p> Just another point of view to consider.</p> <p>The MOH may well know that you are shooting the wedding. I would assume she is a close friend of the bride so she may have some idea who the photgrapher is. The MOH may also prefer that you don't say anything to the bride about what has happend in the past she may agree that what happend at a old workplace 6 years ago is not anyone else's business.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sven_felsby Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>Thomas Hardy hits the nail.<br> Bea, pull yourself together. If such an insignificant thing makes you flip, how will you manage a real disaster? Just do your thing.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul_runnoe2 Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>Oh, do get a compromising picture of her flirting with the groom and post it up here for our enjoyment!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfidaho Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>Howdy!</p> <p>Regarding Stuart Moxham's last post: Oftentimes the MoH is involved in planning the wedding. It's a longshot, but maybe you were selected because the MoH wants to let bygones be bygones, and is trying to send some business your way.</p> <p>In that case, talking to the bride would just screw things up even worse.</p> <p>Later,</p> <p>Paulsky</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ifti Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p>Be nice be professional and not a hint of animosity. Kill her with kind politelness.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_h.1 Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 <p><em> instead of putting their own ego and zeal for opportunity </em></p> <p>That's a low shot. Bea has shown no such traits whatsoever. </p> <p><em>it will just make everything more awkward. There's no way she will find a new photographer in 1 week.</em><br> <em></em><br> Exactly. It could create unnecessary worry, doubt and potential chaos all week long as the wedding nears. If you are told there is risk involved in not bringing the issue up, try dumping all this on the bride one week out. There's risk either way. If something does comes up at the time, a little confidence, tact and humor can turn it around. You sound more confident now. It going to be alright. </p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tallnbig68 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 <p>In any profession you're going to have unpleasant people.<br> Some of these you've met in a past life!<br> Ignore the obvious (to you), do the wedding;<br> it will make you the stronger person.<br> If the MofH makes a fuss, it's her problem, not yours<br> She'll be the one rocking the boat<br> You'll do just fine!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddyb Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 <p>I would make it a point to take at least one excellent photograph of the MoH just to rub it in.<br> I would also make it a point to take the evil side of the MoH, just in case...;)<br> You'll be too busy focusing on the job to be done that she will just disappear. Just focus on the bride and groom and you'll be okay.<br> byegones</p> <p> </p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert_posey Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Your apprehension is quite understandable, but this is a no brainer. The MoH no longer has authority over you, nor the power to intimidate you, unless you GIVE it to her. She is simply another member of the wedding party and should be treated as such - nothing more - nothing less. You will be working for the bride - not her. Leave your inhibitions at home and concentrate on your work. Arrive properly prepared - work systematically - and be yourself. If the MoH chooses to be problematic, DON'T buy into it. That is something for the bride (or a member of her family) to handle - "you" are the photographer. Trust me - this is NOT the last, nor worse, problem you will encounter as a "wedding" photographer. Either convince yourself that you CAN handle this kind of stress until you gain experience, or consider another photographic venue. If you want to be a professional - then BE one! It's really up to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david_schilling___chicago_ Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 <p>William Morgan's given you the best and most pro advice on the situation.....I'd suggest that you follow it.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregory_c Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 <p>6 years ago ? she may not even remember your name,,,shoot it as she is just another bridesmaid. Act like you do not know her. If she tries to make you remember her, say some smart tail answer like, ohh yeah,, I remember you,,you fired me, best thing you ever did for me,,,</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_h.1 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 <p><em>William Morgan's given you the best and most pro advice...</em><br /><br />...assuming you can supply, immediately on request, to quell the potential weeklong chaos, another photographer that will be also immediately be approved by the client in terms of style, cost, personality, talent, ect. ect. Since you tell us "[t]here's no way she will find a new photographer in 1 week", it’s unlikely that is the case. If someone telling you to make this big confession about your past self, at this late hour, can supply the substitute, then you are all set. Otherwise it’s risking a prolonged ordeal or a short one with the odds of problems arising being about the same either way. Either suggestion is as good or bad as the other. If the situation were known months ago, THEN the suggestion to raise the issue with the bride would the best by far.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_h.1 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 <p>Sorry to make too much of a debate out of this. Good luck Bea. Everybody has good ideas. You can figure out what's best.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfidaho Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 <p>Howdy!</p> <p>Twenty years ago, I was laid off from a small company where I worked as a programmer developing a video hairstyling and makeup program. They decided not to pay me my final check because they were low on funds. When I threatened to bring in the sheriff and start auctioning off their computers, my manager got very angry with me. I finally got my check, but we parted on very hostile terms. I got revenge by hiring away their star programmer, which killed the company.</p> <p>I lived in fear of running into my ex-manager for twenty years. This last summer, I ran into him at the airport. He actually initiated a conversation with me, and was very friendly! It seems that he was terminated under equally unpleasant circumstances by the same company, and he was grateful to me for getting the star programmer a job.</p> <p>I learned a lesson from this. People can surprise the heck out of you. Just because you think someone might hate you, does not necessarily mean it's true.</p> <p>Bea, what happened between you and the MoH is none of the bride's business. Do your job with grace and confidence, and all will be well.</p> <p>Later,</p> <p>Paulsky</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russ_butner___portland__or Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 <p> Be totally professional. It will go fine.</p> <p>Russ</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas_hardy1 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 <p>I particularly like this:<br> If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gord_hayes Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 <p>William said it best.<br> But I have to say this..<br> My god, you were 17 and she was 18! and it was 6 years ago. Neither of you are the same person anymore. I don't think there is anyone here that is the same person now as when they were that age. Good or bad.<br> She is probably just as scared, embarrassed is probably the better word, about seeing you as you are of her.<br> Tell the bride, "When I was 17 blah blah blah" and what William said. Let the bride say yes or no. Do it well BEFORE the wedding day, I would do it in person.<br> After the bride says who cares, buy the MoH a beer or glass of wine and laugh about it.<br> I say this with complete respect and not as an insult (more like a kick in the behind:) ) You are now a professional and an adult time to stop thinking like a 17 year old.<br> Gord</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sanford Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 <p>Don't even think about sipping any booze.</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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