Bereavement Photography

[paf iii]

<p>I read this article this morning and thought I would share it with you. it is about Bereavement Photography in a babys final hours. <a href="http://cbs2chicago.com/local/Bereavement.Photography.now.2.996897.html">link </a>.</p>

[lex_jenkins]

<p>It is very difficult. Also challenging and rewarding. I've done this on <a href="../photo/9048459">a few occasions</a> with <a href="../photodb/folder.tcl?folder_id=908598">family members</a> . Sometimes the emotional impact doesn't hit me until much later when I review those photos.</p>

<p>So far I haven't volunteered to do this for others. Perhaps I'll consider it. Thanks for the timely reminder - I've only recently begun to review my own projects in this area from a few years ago.</p>

[colin carron]

<p>In the 19th century it was common for photos of the deceased to be taken, especially children. I suppose the much higher mortality rates in those days made them less sensitive to the whole subject of death. </p>

[lex_jenkins]

<p>Over the years and in various jobs (nursing, journalism, occupational safety), I've found that people who are routinely exposed to the reality of human mortality are more sensitive to the issue. People who are not routinely reminded of mortality tend to be insensitive in that they aren't conditioned to cope with it well, would prefer not to be reminded and tend to shun opportunities to increase their sensitivity toward sad and unpleasant realities.</p>

[jenkins]

<p>A moving picture Lex and a situation we all know,the biggest loss i ever had was the loss of pets up until the age of 33, still had 4 grandparents right up until that age, so death was not something i ever had to deal with, then 3 went in a matter of a few years - Bam<br>

Not for me open coffins and last goodbyes, you will find me in the pub, trying to make sense of it all.<br>

I think i am one of those people you describe, not insensitive though, the whole process i find very disturbing. A lot of my friends worked in hospitals and dealt with death every day and have a very different approach but strangely enough seemed to live life in the fast lane.</p>

 

[paf iii]

<p>Lex that must have been very emotionally draining. I could not help but wonder how a bereavement photographer approaches a family without first offending them during a very difficult time. I don't think it is something I would be able to do,but the satisfaction of giving the family some photographic memories would be rewarding. As Simon said it does seem a bit disturbing but does have a valuable purpose.</p>

[Matt Laur]

<p>I was asked to photograph a funeral a couple of months back, and it was extremely challenging. My greatest concern was of being intrusive or distracting. While the family loved the photos and said so, the greatest compliment they gave me was their puzzlement over how I got a lot of the shots, because they couldn't remember even seeing me work (whew!). That's a reminder of the intense emotions the family is feeling at the time. The deceased was an older guy, though, and that completely changes the situation. I imagine that a child's death would be so, so much harder to record, and the funeral would be rough indeed.<br /><br />I'm reminded of a 2007 PBS show about Annie Leibovitz, which included some narrative about the death of Susan Sontag, and AL's photography of her as she faded away and after. Though it was a brief passage, you could tell how much of a mark it left on her... and that picking up her camera was one of the ways she dealt with it.</p>

[richard_cochran]

<p>My wife and I experienced the loss of a very premature infant not too long ago. The nurses took some snapshots, but we haven't yet looked at them yet. I have pictures in my mind of our baby's face, and that's enough right now. I'm not sure when, or if, we'll get the pictures out of the envelope they're in, but it's good to have them. They were not professionally done.</p>

<p>Not every family will want photos. And not every family will even know whether or not they'll want photos. Sometimes infant death comes with enough advance notice for some preparation and discussion, but other times it comes so suddenly that the parents will be in a state of shock.</p>

<p>I will say that, if you're moved to do this, do it. And don't worry much about what to say. Nothing you can say will make things a whole lot better, but as long as you're reasonably respectful, nothing you say will make things worse, either. It's ok to be at a loss for words. It's not up to you to fix things. But your actions may help honor a short life.</p>

[everheul]

<p>I was asked once by my mother in law to take pics at her daughter's funeral. I've never felt so creepy. It was a very sad and somber event as it was.</p>

[tonmestrom]

<p>Lex, as a RN I think you've put it very nicely and accurately</p>

[michael_dimarzio]

<p>The first time I encountered death was with my mother, I stayed with her she died. We were sleeping on couches at the hospitol, and reading this has reminded me that I was the only family member with her as she died, or maybe I didn't know who was there. That was so intense. I remember every detail of every moment, but I can't remember the day month or year.</p>

<p>Why do some folks want bereavment photos? Family history or albums?</p>

[tomwatt]

<p>The 19th century photos several have referenced may have had as much to do with the newness of photography at the time. But it was common... and not just a family-centered tradition. The U.S. Army's 14th Infantry Regiment had photos taken of all of its commanders. Two of them were deceased before the photographer got there, one of those men had been dead for several days. Photos were taken anyway.<br>

I have had the experience of taking photos at a funereal. Bot certain I'd care to repeat the experience. It was very emotionally trying.</p>

[tim_knight]

<p>I was asked to take pictures of our grandchild who die just before birth from heart problems. We chose this because we wanted to remember her. It was a very emotional day, but we still remember her and have a tree planted in her memory. They now have an 18 month old daughter who is loved very dearly by everyone.</p>

[luis_g]

<p> When I was around 6 years old, on a rainy afternoon, I was looking through my mother's dresser out of curiosity. At the bottom of a drawer I found a small frame with a picture of a newborn baby with his eyes closed. I ran to my mother, and asked if this was me or my sister, though it didn't look like either of us.</p>

<p> She put her hand over her stomach and bent over slightly, as if convulsing, and her face cringed in a way that made me freeze in half- step. She explained that had been "The first Luis", who had been stillborn. My older brother. She then had to explain what "stillborn" was, while quiet tears trickled from the corners of her eyes and mine. It was taken by my father with his Leica, and I can only imagine how hard that must have been.</p>

<p>I have thought about that photograph many times since that day.</p>

[jtk]

<p>I photographed the raining, muddy, rural burial of my only important photo teacher...the dozen young mourners were all connected to "serious" photography (former Minor White students and hangers-on like me). </p>

<p>The only person with a camera (Canon F1) I felt like a jerk at the time, but knew my teacher would have laughed. </p>

<p>Thirty years later, his kid brother discovered Conrad Forbes in my (recently purged) P.N Portfolio (Conrad had died of "photographer's disease")..I'd titled a portrait with the name...so the brother will eventually receive the portrait and a few emotional burial photos (the film's scanned..somehow I don't get around to printing).</p>

[alain_attal]

<p>Thanks for posting this Phil, very interesting and moving. </p>

[marta_cajiao]

<p>Hello Phil,<br>

And welcome to my world--I am a Bearevement and Memorial photgrapher. Not for anyone to think that I take this lightly because I don't--I am not alone in this very small field but there are so few of us that people mistake the venture for what it isn't> It isn't creepy or morbid. I am always sensitive to the mourner's feelings and never photograph anyone whom after I have asked declines to be photographed. I like to think that I have done a job well done and tastefully despite the 'event' and I have been recommended by the family and friends of the dearly departed ones that I have photographed--the photos taken during a memorial service/graveside service helps the loved ones to not just grieve but to move forward in their own lives--and not think of it as leaving the loved one behind but allow them also to move onward in their path. In some cultures it is said that when a loved one passes and you call out his/her name that you allow the person to go forth into the path chosen for them by God and by not calling out their names that you hold them to you but cannot get passed the grieving process. Photographs allow a person to transcend the mourning and serve as reminders that while we are all mortal and subject to death that it not need be a fearful thing,it is a transition and journey that we all must make. Most people are grateful to have photos of their loved ones and I am glad to have been part of not just the mourning experience but the transitional one also. Family history mostly Michael and I creat albums I have titled Memoriams--my spelling--little 5x7 booklets that I honor the clients with as I am paid for the larger albums created by me. A sad business death--but sadder still to have no recording of the loved one and no recollection in the mind later in the coming years. The service I provide benefits both myself and my client and I hope to be able to continue to do this kind of photography for a long time to come.</p>

[James G. Dainis]

Post mortem photos were a part of life in the latter century. Certainly if one had a photographer come into the parlor with an 11x14 inch view camera and flash powder it was not taken lightly. The following is an 11x14 inch print of my deceased Uncle William, age 9 months, my grandfather, grandmother and great Aunt and Uncle.<div></div>

[Matt Laur]

<p>For what it's worth, I just today delivered a pair of 20-page hardback books from the funeral I shot. If you're <em>going</em> to shoot a funeral, nothing beats a military one with honors, at Arlington National Cemetary.</p><div></div>

[marta_cajiao]

<p>Thanks Matt and James for sharing. I'd buy the book and even the photo--even if it wasn't someone I was related to.</p>

[megan_johnson1]

<p> I cannot stress this enough- If you are moved to offer this service, you should. 'Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep' mentions on their site that you cannot change the fact the parents are losing their child, but you can change the way they heal (not a direct quote, but you get the idea). <br>

I am a photographer and I am a mother who gave birth to a stillborn baby boy last Thursday. We were told Wednesday at a routine ultrasound that our son no longer had a heartbeat. When we went to the hospital on Thursday to deliver him I purposely did NOT bring my camera. I did not think I would want pictures to remember this painful time. One of our nurses had brought her own camera to take some pictures for us. I am so glad she did this, I deeply regret not arranging for pictures in advance (my son was delivered to early to use NILMDTS, they offer their services for losses after 24 weeks). <br>

I am waiting for this wonderful nurse to mail the images to us, I have an almost obsessive need to have this proof of my sons short life. I would strongly encourage anyone offering this service to get the images to the mother ASAP. Even if she doesn't look at them for a while, she will have them when she needs them. It may be difficult for you emotionally, but only for a short time. You have the ability to lessen the pain of the parents far more than you realize. <br>

Sorry for the very long post. I truly cannot stress it enough how much an hour of your time could help someone deal with the loss of their child. PS- After I have had a little more time to heal, I plan to sign up with NILMDTS. It is a fantastic organization.</p>