Your Wedding Nightmare

[snik75]

Well, a little off-topic, but at my own wedding, I went by the "family-friendly" gallery where we were having our

reception to discover a new installation. Called "The Immortals", it consisted of full-length nude portraits of

women engaged in athletic competition. Yow! It was a very "stirring" exhibit, especially for my teenage cousins.

I suppose I can't post someone else's work here, but our professional photographer got some pretty funny pictures.

 

A friend asked me to shoot his upcoming wedding, as he liked old pictures I took of him with my K1000. Thanks in

part to the excellent advice here, I couldn't say no fast enough.

[snik75]

I suppose I can share this link, to the exhibit. It is nice work, but was hard to appreciate the artistic value.

 

http://www.martincooperphoto.com/altis/altis_collage.htm

[vincedistefano]

First time as a second shooter. The main photographer who hired me gets there late but didn't explain to the

wedding party that he was even bringing a second shooter (me) along in the first place.

 

So they keep coming up to me and asking all sorts of questions about how we'll do this, how should we handle

that, etc. He finally gets there, and I've had a chance to try maybe three test exposures. Wedding is going to

start in 5 minutes. He realizes he forgot his batteries! So he has to drive back to his shop which is 15 minutes

away and says "OK, cover me while I'm gone. Whatever you do don't miss the vows, the rings, and the kiss."

 

It was about 95 degrees that day, and the church was poorly cooled to begin with, and I'm a 99%-of-the-time

Tshirt and shorts guy. So you can image how the sweat beads started to exponentially multiple.

 

Got the shots, although they had a good bit more harsh shadow on them than I cared for, against an ugly stone and

wood paneled background. I probably spent four hours in Photoshop on one of them. Anyways, he got back just in

time to shoot the stuff *I* was supposed to cover - the easy stuff!

 

I did a few more after that, but the last job was my favorite because it was a 50th anniversary "re-marriage" - I

liked that, ha ha. All the traditional photogenic components of a wedding without any of the enormous pressure!

[fotografz]

Michael, your candle story reminded me of the time I backed up into a large floor stand with 20 or so lit candles which

spilled hot wax down my back ... the back of my shirt was completely covered to the point that it was a stiff as

cardboard the rest of the evening. Fortunately the shirt protected me. and at most was like a sunburn.

[rick_ruff]

This sounds like my studios' Christmas Party where all the photographers relate their horror stories of weddings. After 40 years of shooting them I have seen it all. The most tragic was the mother of the groom who came into my studio the day before the wedding. "I know the brides' family has hired you. Have they told you my son has Epilepsy and any bright lights or flashing lights sends him into seizures. Is this going to be a problem? Well, yeah. I put away all my Norman flash equiptment, pulled two assistants off other weddings and lit the entire wedding with photofloods bounced off reflectors, shot 400 ASA and pushed to 800 and filtered for color temperature. Everything went great till cutting of the cake. The bride had placed throw away kodak cameras on each table. As I shot with available (flood) light, at least 50 flashes went off from the guests. The groom went into seizure and died six hours later. Horrible story but true.

My best memory of a wedding.............the day three years ago when I retired. I would rather be waterboarded than to shoot another wedding.

[robbie_caswell]

The main photog and I huddle at the back of the aisle waiting for the kiss. We glance at each other and wisper something. We look up and have missed the first kiss! Ooops! Hate it when its a quick peck and no follow ups... Glad I was the second shooter.

[dawn_kelly]

I have come close to missing the shot of first kiss. I was shooting a full mass Catholic wedding in all Spanish, which I don't speak or understand. The ceremony just kept going on and on. The couple did their vows, but then no kiss, ceremony kept going…. until I relaxed a bit and all of a sudden they are going in for the kiss. I got it. Later found out at the reception that the priest was rambling on to the couple about true life things, like the groom/husband taking off his ring and going out at night & the bride/wife getting fat; telling the couple that this is real life things. This same wedding, the videographers apparently also did photography, so we ended up competing with each other for B&G time, which was hard since the church allowed 15 minutes after the ceremony before kicking everyone out for the next wedding to come in.

 

Nick – WOW, what an art display to have at your family-friendly reception! Even with those portraits, hopefully they at least didn’t have any of the conceptual drawings up that are shown on the web link you provided.

[michael_s6]

Michael Raddatz wrote:

 

> http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/1112809,CST-NWS-wed18.article

 

> Imagine being the photographer!

 

I think we can. Given that the "happy bride" picture and the "tazered bride" picture in the news story are by the same photographer, I would guess that

he was

shooting the wedding or at least there as a guest, and not on assignment for the paper. He's a professional photographer in Chicago, although

he doesn't list weddings on his website. After the reception went awry, I'd guess he sold the photos to the newspaper. Woud that be ethical if he was

the

wedding photographer? If he was a guest?

[steve george]

Touch wood (and every other superstition you can think of!) I've not had a real nightmare yet. My biggest embarassing moment was the vicar telling me pre-ceremony that they would pose the signing of the register and I wasn't to take any photographs during the actual signing, something I communicated to the bride and groom and they were happy with this.

 

So, the time of the signing came and I dutifully stood out of the way and took no photographs while guests snapped away, flashes popping all over the place, and the vicar just smiled at them all benignly.

 

Anyway, then the brides mother, who was one of the witnesses, and also a professional photographer, caught my eye and start gesturing wildly and with great annoyance for me to go to the front and take photographs of the signing. I made the best "I'm not allowed to" gesture I could think of but she just got more wild eyed, and mroe like someone guiding an aircraft waving her hands around and less like a witness at her daughters wedding. She was getting visibily irate and numerous guests were looking between me and her, like tennis fans, heads swivelling, to see what the fuss was.

 

The vicar was aware of all this and doing nothing so I assumed she must have asked him and he'd said it was ok for me to go and take photographs during the signing after all, from a discrete distance. Guests were doing so anyway so what difference if I did. So i took a photograph - WITHOUT FLASH despite the paparazzi guests all around me making the church look like Nicole Kidman was walking down the red carpet, the amount of strobing going on. And straight away the vicar stopped the signing, came over to me, and told me "one more and I'll ask you to leave".

 

The brides mother apologised but the embarassment, needless to say, was already felt by then!

[ilkka_nissila]

Steve, that's amazing - did you ask the vicar to explain what the reasoning was? A power trip?

[steve_c.5]

Wow, Steve. My experience with priests and church people is much the same as yours. There seems to be a double-standard for photographers vs. guests. They can pop flash like paparrazi, but us pros BETTER not cross the line! It's not fair at all, but seems to be the case across the board. Some churches actually post signs at the end of the aisle that say "No photography during the ceremony please". I've photographed many ceremonies, with but mostly without flash, and the Lord has never stricken anyone down for being irreverent. I guess the worshipers who support the church have immunity. But, I still won't cross any lines, lest I not be invited back.

[lou korell]

"I think that was the last wedding I ever shot"

 

You mean you don't remember Will? LOL

[will_daniel1]

No, I don't remember -- that was a long time ago. I gave up weddings altogether, went back to grad school, became a writer, yada, yada, yada.

 

Will

[laverephoto]

Priest at the church had very strict rules regarding photography which I followed to the letter. As I began trying to

assemble the families for post ceremony pics at the altEr. The priest approaches the pulpit and begins counting down

the time remaining for photography over the PA in a stern Old Testament kinda voice every 15 seconds or so. What are

my chances of establishing an atmosphere of levity? So I politely suggest to the irritated guests that I can achieve

better results outside the church due to the distraction. We exit the church and conclude pictures outside. Afterward the

priest has the audacity to approach me and begin scolding me for giving him a hard time. I begin packing in a big hustle

because I can't get out of there fast enough. In the commotion my main camera rig is stolen from the front seat of my

car to the tune of about $5000. I've never suffered such malice at any other time in my life. Among other things the

priest took it upon himself to single out a lesbian couple in the audience for his disapproval during the homily. He was

from an order of priests that call themselves "charismatic." I have another word for it. Being a member raised in that

same institution I'm strained to come up with a theological explanation for the absurdity of that day.

[steve_c.5]

I hope I never run across THAT priest, John! I'm reminded of a famous saying by Maude Findlay..."God'll getcha for that, Father!".

[john_ybarbo]

Have you ever had things go completely wrong, but it seems to fit the mood of the day? I'm sure we've had the wedding

where you blew three flashes and two power packs and were limping along on your third backup flash loaded with all the

batteries you could buy in the hotel store. Or when the best man forgot the rings at the hotel and had to go back for them

during the Mass only to arrive after everything (made for great photos while the priest was blessing them after the

ceremony). Or, that same wedding, the sheer number of wedding guests in the ballroom made the temperature go up and

the cake fell over in a most spectacular fashion, but the bride laughed it off because "hell, we forgot the rings at the

church...".

This was finally followed up by the groom's brother and his boyfriend getting into a big, loud, gay fight in the hotel lobby. It

was a disaster, but the photos were so good despite all that happened.

[er1]

Its great being assoiciated with my fellow wedding photographers.

 

Hey John LaVere, Marc & I shot a wedding in a dark gloomy church in which the Priest informed me that I would

have to remove two light stands that I set up for the after ceremony shots of a massive wedding party. We

managed to pose the full wedding party against the orders of the Priest because of my insistance, and for my high

crime was told I should not return to that church. No problem though... I have no interest in returning to that church

ever, for any reason. When every man woman and child can use their small flash cameras but the pro is expected

to stand back, this makes absolutly no sense to me.

[lindsey_jeanette]

I shot my first wedding a few weeks ago, as a favor for a friend. They were having a low-budget wedding and needed all the help they could get. The pastor for the ceremony was also the wedding planner. She offered to plan the wedding and do the flowers for the couple for free, so they all thought she was an angel.

 

Someone must of told her I was new to wedding photography, because a few minutes into getting shots of the bride getting ready, she barges in an demanded that I go take the formal pictures of the guys because she had them set up outside. I explained to her that I would be taking all formal pictures after the ceremony, and her response was "No, you don't have time.". She then proceeded to walk out of the dressing room.

 

I had already gone over the process with the bride and groom before, so I am met with a very confused groom outside. I explained that we would stick to the original plan, but the groom decided he wanted to take the pictures "Right now, because we have been standing here waiting for you for quite some time." She had set up the groom in a location that had a horrible busy background and a lens flare coming off the side of the church. I quickly posed them in a nice with great, diffused natural lighting, and the pastor stands right behind me, and squawks into my ear "No not there, that's far too dark, your pictures will come out terrible here! Come on guys back over here".

 

I had to ask them to excuse me so that I could have a heart to heart with the planner. I told her that I was the photographer and although I appreciate her effort she might want to leave her opinions to herself and let me do my job. She gave me an evil smile and said "Well I know this is your first time, so I wouldn't want anything disastrous to happen."

 

Right before the ceremony I went inside and set up for pictures. The pastor/planner asked me not to use a flash during the ceremony, which is understandable. She then asked me if the lighting in the church was sufficient, which it was with the right settings. Then right before she comes in, she turned off ALL THE LIGHTS! It was so dark, you could barely see except for the colored light coming in from the stained glass. Then she glared at me as she walked to the alter.

 

Frustrated, I took out my flash and began snapping away. The room was so dark that the flash was very noticeable. After everyone was in place on the alter, she actually announced in front of the entire church that "Exuse me, Im sorry to have to do this, but could the photographer please turn of her flash, I believe we discussed earlier their would be no flash photography during the ceremony"

 

I got dirty looks for the rest of the wedding, and the pictures from the ceremony were pretty bad. I tried to explain what happened to the groom (Who was actually MORE picky and Critical than the bride)- but I soon realized I was just digging my hole deeper. The pastor/planner was a saint in their eyes. At least all the other photos came out great!

 

Ahhh it feels good to finally vent out my frustration!

[richard_bianrosa]

When I was assisting once, The photographer asked me to put his film backs in my jacket pockets. He had told me once before to cut them open because they were sewn shut. When I forgot to do it, he got so infuriated, he went for a box cutter, opened up my pockets, but in the process opened up his hand. This happened right before we got to the brides suite. I dont think he got any blood on the dress though thank God!

[katie_jullian]

So far I've been lucky (knock on wood) as far as officiants and equipment (double knock on wood), but my second

wedding comes to mind...

 

The bride was a friend of mine and originally wasn't going to have a wedding and then her mom got involved and it

snowballed. She asked me if I was interested in shooting it because if she was going to have a photog she wanted

it to be a friend (and ironically we had spent the last two years confiding in each other about the fear of

getting married). Well it was an out of town event and my husband went with me, mainly for moral support, as I

was extremely nervous (the only other wedding before this had been ceremony only with immediate family members.)

 

The day of, I wake up very early to my husband saying his lungs were tight and he couldn't breathe. A year

earlier he had suffered a collapsed lung, so after asking him about fifty times "do you want to go to the

hospital", we ask for directions at the front desk. Luckily one was nearby (we were in the middle of

nowhere-ville). We had a couple of hours before I was supposed to be there, but of course once they learned about

the lung collapse they were not going to let him leave without running tests. So sitting in the hospital, nerves

completely shot from being a first timer and seeing tubes hooked up to him, all the memories of the last time he

was in the hospital came flooding back, and I lost it. I left a voicemail for the bride explaining what had

happened and that I was so sorry I was going to be late and would be there as soon as I could. My voice was so

shaky as I tried to hold back the tears. The hospital staff was wonderful and saw my predicament and ran the

fastest tests ever and gave him the green light. We raced down the road, got lost, kept racing and I got there in

time for the ceremony, having only missed the getting ready

shots. Of course, it was awhile before I stopped shaking. Luckily the bride is one of the sweetest people I know

and was more concerned over my husband's health than the lost time. We have no idea what set his lungs off but

think it might have been something in the hotel room.

[sprouty]

I'm not a wedding photographer, but last summer I shot my wife's niece’s wedding. This was despite the fact that

I had made repeated explanations of why I was not qualified. I even offered to help her find a reasonably priced

professional and to pay for a portion of the expense. Somehow though she didn't hear a word and simply waited

until we were practically on the plane to "remind" me to bring my "camera stuff".

 

These were just a few of the special moments that I’m sure most of you deal with on a regular basis:

 

• The day before the wedding the bride handed me a list of formals to do – 140 combinations. I nod before I

realize I can’t possibly do that many formals in a half an hour (her requested time frame). I explain my concern

and she says Ok, just get rid of some of them(!?) I defer to her mother for deletions, but she hands me back the

list and says just make it work.

 

• The day of the wedding I dutifully get up at 6:00 to shoot the bride and her bridesmaids at the hair salon. I

spend the first ½ hour sweet talking my way past the requests of the all the bridesmaids to wait until they are

done with hair and makeup to begin taking pictures.

 

• Around 8:00 AM the bride announces she’s hungry and says “hey uncle you’re not doing anything are you? Would

it be OK if you went and got us some breakfast?” Sure I say, (it's her day after all), Around noon I get the

same request.

 

• Bride arrives an hour late to the ceremony after the bridal party decided to stop for a bottle of champagne,

only to promptly leave, not only once, but twice. Upon the third arrival however I’m tossed a handful of keys

and told, on the verge of tears, that she can’t find her broach and that I need to go look through each of the

bridesmaid’s cars to locate it.

 

• Ceremony goes well, but as we head to the small deck where we are going to take the formals I realize we are

being followed by 50 or so guests who want to smoke. I discretely ask if we should wait and the bride promptly

boots everybody off the deck, including most of the people who she wants in the actual pictures.

 

• Bride wants Mt Rainier in background; I explain the problem of shooting with blinding sun over my shoulder.

She says do it anyway. Fortunately the 8-yo ring bearer flat-out refuses to open his eyes. This is followed by

2 minutes of pantomime as he digs his fingers into his eyes trying to pry them open. Flower girl, same age,

crosses arms and refuses to look at camera since ring bearer is being a “wicked jerk-head” (her words).

Eventually the formals are moved to a side of the porch where the sun is less of an issue.

 

• Bride and groom start drinking, an hour later I remind them to eat before they fall over.

 

• Time to cut the cake: I ask the DJ to let everyone know, he shrugs and says he just plays music, and he’s “not

that kind of DJ”. I ask the bride whom she would like to make the announcement, she say’s she’ll do it. At

which point she bellows at the top of her lungs “HEY, LISTEN UP, WE’RE CUTTING THE CAKE”.

 

• Bride and groom step up to the cake (on raised platform where ceremony took place) with back to the audience.

Me: Psst…psst…PSST!

Bride: WHAT?

Me: Turn around!

Bride: WHY?

Me: So people can see your faces instead of your backsides.

Bride: (giggling but also realizing no one is paying attention) “HEY, UP HERE PEOPLE! WE’RE CUTTING THE CAKE!”

 

• During another “Uncle” request, I nearly missed the father-bride dance. Fortunately I got it, but barely.

 

Overall, despite the chaos and lunacy, I have to give her credit, because aside from the broach issue she rolled

with everything that happened and laughed and smiled the whole time.

 

But truthfully, I can’t imaging doing that on a regular basis…

[www.roelandebruijn.nl]

@SP: Oh my, when you are jerked around by a chain, do you enjoy the experience?

 

Otherwise I wouldn't have let her get away with this kind of Prima Donna behaviour. I haven't had a Bridezilla moment like that, and hope to God it won't come. I wouldn't know how to handle the fuming and spewing forth of bile I wanted to be doing at my paying client,...

 

That is a horror story to be sure. Hope the pictures turned out ok.

[wedding-photography-denver]

SP, that does not sound too bad :-)

 

I thought about this after having read most of the stories here and remembered one wedding that was a scary one. I used to shoot for another photog. here in town and this was for him. So, I had no idea whom I was to meet before this happened.

 

I shot this wedding with Jen, my female second (when she is not pregnant/nursing, hehe). Any how....

 

 

We are on the freeway to the wedding, about half an hour to spar e as usual for short distance wedding venues that we know already. As we neared the venue exit from the freeway, rain begins pouring (anyone who has lived in CO. know what that can be like). A car about 10 ahead of us gets wiry and looses control. Smashing into the center concrete barrier, gets hit by two other cars from behind. We were in a 4WD and fortunately managed to hard shoulder the pass by of the accident. Whew, I think/say.

 

We arrive at the Hotel for the ceremony and are greeted by the family who promptly inform us that some guests (needed for pics) are going to be late as there was an accident. <<Me smiles politely>>. Well we do all that we can with the pics and then everyone goes into the ballroom for the ceremony. No priest/officiant there. Oh no, we will be starting late I guess. So, some excuse about traffic is announced to the guests as we proceed to get some shots of their interactions <<filling time here>>. Fifteen minutes later, the priest arrives and explains that 1) his phone got wet when he got out of his car on the freeway and no longer worked to call them an explain what had happened. 2) there was an accident << couple knew this from family/guests who had the same degree of latness>> and 3) He was involved as his car got hit a little from behind as he stopped on the freeway <<had to await the arrival and processing of state troopers, who, commendably did what they could to get him gone asap>>.

 

At this point the groom <<a rather rough looking sort>> begins to circle the priest and curses him out as they stand at the open door of the ballroom where the guests are quietly seated. "what the h**l are you doing being late and not even having the decency to call, you ******* ********! " and so forth. I could barely believe this was happening and stayed away <<while selecting a longer lens, kidding>> for the entire cussing routine.

 

A minute later, the priest walks calmly, though a little somberly, to the front and introduces the idea of the ceremony as a wonderful occasion to be cherished. Laughter ensues and my first thought was " what kind of a crowd is this?". The rest of the ceremony goes to plan and all is well (other than the groom occasionally glaring at the priest as I see from the other side while shooting).

 

Following the ceremony the priest excuses the guests to go and enjoy the reception being held in the "Theater room". After they have all gone, he quickly gathers himself and hurries out the door to what I can only speculate was a waiting friend or cab). The groom sees this and begins a pursuit with a couple of his "buddies" goading him along the way. As he catches up with the priest, he begins again but this time has had half a beer/drink. The priest, I am glad to say, manages to keep his tongue and his composure, gets into his car as the groom kicks the door shut. They drive away followed by jeering and threats.

 

On to the reception: once the food was served and the toasts/dances etc. were done, every one is invited to join in. Needless to say, the usual friends grab the groom and head for the dance floor. Not bad for some fun shots really. Then about an hour into the reception and a about 1 hour before we a due to finish, Jen comes to me looking a bit perturbed. She points to a couple of the friends and proceeds to tell me that they are getting a bit friendly toward her (these guys were with their wives/girlfriends). I say "just stay a distance from them and do your best to ignore them". She does pretty well for about 10 - 15 minutes till one of these guys comes over to her and begins "groping". Jen comes directly to me and tells me this has to stop, she is getting a little scared for her safety with this crowd. I reassure her that she can handle it (wrong advice I now think) and not to pay any attention, but if approached buy them agian, to walk directly to me. That lasts about two minute before they come up to her again and start. Jen, being able to cope quite well and not in the least intimidated by men, walks directly to me (followed by a couple of the guys) and asks me to do something. I am not a big guy myself and could see this potentially getting ugly. I tell Jen to pack up her stuff and go wait in the car. At this point the guys start jeering that they were just having a bit of fun with the hired help (this was said to me as Jen left the room), and that it was no big deal. I can see by their state of inebriation, that this could be fun <<not the good kind>> and suggest that we all grab a drink after we get our gear loaded. That way we can continue having "fun". All agreed, I grab the last of the kit and take it to the car. Jen is a little upset and asks what I plan to do. I tell her, nothing. I get into the car and drive away.

 

I swore that day that I would never knowingly shoot a wedding that I had a bad feeling about in any sense. I now believe that this has made for several years of relatively peaceful weddings for us <<from the perspective of the photographer at least>>.

 

I love doing this job, its just a bit of an odd one compared to most jobs,

 

[sprouty]

As for my niece’s wedding I have to say that she was really never upset with me at any point and I really think she had a great wedding, the chaos just didn't seem phase her. And I of course was an Uncle first and a photographer second.

 

I don't want to drive this thread off-track, but the one thing that still confounds me is how to politely decline. I can't seem to explain why a professional photographer would be so much better than an engineer who simply happens to own a few cameras.

 

My nephew's wedding is in two weeks and I don't dare ask about the photography details and I have a friend getting married in a month who I know for a fact doesn't have anybody booked and has already started hinting.

[wedding-photography-denver]

How to politely decline:

 

"I really appreciate the flattery but as I have now seen, this is not something I want to do again (for now)".

 

Or:

 

"Thanks for considering me to do that for you but I have tried once and could not go through that again".

 

OTOH;

 

"Thanks for asking me, what time shall I begin?"

 

:-)