Guest Photographer at wedding

[stacy_dallman]

I was shooting a wedding last weekend, all was going well until the

formal photos came along. I had only taken a few formal group shots,

when I pulled the bride and groom out to get the brides parents

alone (the father was becoming ill from the heat). The bride and

groom step aside, and out of no where this older man pulls the bride

and groom away from the photoshoot!!!! I could not believe the nerve

of this guy! I finished the parents shots and ask where I lost my

bride and groom to. One of the bridesmaids speaks up and says that

her dad is taking photos of them becuase he used to be a wedding

photographer in the 1970's and has all of this great equiptment and

can "blow the pictures up forever" (an insult to my digital? oh

well). I immediately explain that it is a breech of contract for

this guy to be taking photos of the bride and groom during my formal

session (which we only had 15 minutes to complete). The bridesmais

gets all upset with me, saying her dad is doing the bride and groom

a favor! I explain nicely that I have no problem with the unexpected

photographer taking photos...AFTER I am done with them. Needless to

say the rest of the night I got the cold shoulder from the

bridesmaid and her dad, and the maid refused to be in any of the

other pictures I needed her for!!

 

Anyone else have similar experiences??

[frank_skomial]

I had similar situation, but I could complete my assignment.

You need to charge them for all the pictures that you intended to take, and were not allowed to take, due to refusal of participation.

As always make sure you have written up and signed contract before you come in to the wedding.

[melisa]

Ouch, "breech of contract" was your downfall...no reason for that to have been said to her. Though, IMO, he was wrong to steal them from you and he really should've known better. I would have just given a, "Isn't that nice of him". I would've walked over and gave them a polite, "Can I steal these two back from you, I have a couple shots left on their list and we're getting low on time." Customer service is #1, it's biting your tongue and finding a way to work together. You may have shot yourself in the foot for future referrels on this one.

 

I generally don't let the couple go for formals at all...but I also don't do a ton of breakdowns for my formals. B&G, as a couple, are in almost all the formal shots, then I do smaller groups, like mom & dad, later at the reception. If the father was becoming that ill from the heat, I might have just had him get well and catch up with him later.

[KenPapai]

It's obvious that guy was no former pro, he's a current idi0t. I guess you dealt with a family of rude idi0ts -- the bridesmaid and her father who didn't teach any manners to his offspring. First post of a maidzilla here before. My best to you Stacy! May this never happen to anyone else.

[maury_cohen]

Melisa has some good points.

Although it was rude the way your subjects were taken from you, confrontation can usually only cause more confrontation.

As Melisa suggested, options that put you in a more co-operative light may have been a better approach in the long run.

[nstock]

Melissa had some good suggestions. This is part of the learning experience (and we never stop learning). :)

 

This is one of the things that happens in wedding Photography and it is up to you to be politiely assertive. This can be very difficult.

 

When he (the imposter photographer) took the bride and Groom away for HIS photos you needed to say NO. How to say No? I was not there, but I would suggest to simply have asked this man who he was and said to him, "I am the official photographer (or words to that effect) and I need to take these photos, after which you are welcome to take photos of your own if the Bride and groom so desire." Something like that. All the time smiling sweetly.. no matter how much you felt otherwise.

 

If there is a very limited amount of time (and 15 minutes is REAL short), then that is YOUR time. As hard as it is you need to be territorial about it!

 

I was taught to never allow someone to "take over" during a formal session and you have to be very assertive. It can be VERY difficult to do (mostly because we are taught to be so polite!).

 

At some other time (during a lull in the reception) other photographers and family memebers can ask the Bride and Groom to come aside for photos (and it is wise to make this suggestion). When that happens, be on your toes and get pictures too!

 

Fortunately I assisted a photographer who was very good at controlling what he had to to do his job. I have seen some pretty tough situations and a lot of uncooperative ppl. Each time you must keep in mind your GOAL which is to get your pictures.

[ruben_bittermann]

Hi Stacy,

 

I feel very sorrow with you and understand your obvious anger. In a recent wedding I was in the opposite side, being the non-contracted photographer. But I was very polite towards the contracted photographer and never crossed my mind to go beyond candid snapshots. And taking care all the time not to obstruct in any way the line of fire or appear in his pics.

 

I think in your case you just met rude people. Should you learn from this to warn every next customer about such eventuality ? I don't think so, but in case you use to sign your customers into a written contract I do support defending yourself in the small letters of the contract.

 

It would be only natural for me, if I was in your shoes, to become upset. But in that case I would be just aggravating the athmosphere. For the family the essence of the wedding is the Joy, which many times and in different ways may obstruct the work of the photographer.

 

Perhaps a professional smile plus the fine letter at the contract would make the best possible cocktail.

 

I have been a pro for a while, and in other industries I met lots of people. When you meet lots of people you meet a measurable proportion of rude people too, that't life.

 

Take it easy, I do not think you will find too many serial ex-photographer fathers.

 

Kind Regards,

 

Ruben

[picturesque]

Yes, I've had similar experiences. One should recognize ego-based swaggering when one sees it, and take it in stride. I would have nicely asked for the couple to come back to my session and joked with the photographer about knowing how stressful short formals sessions are. Never hurts to get the "offender" on your side while it always hurts to offend wedding party or family members for whatever reason. You are basically biting your nose off to spite your face.

[stacy_dallman]

Looking back I probably shouldn't have used breech of contract to explain why the BM's dad needed to give my bride and groom back! I was just soooo shocked that the words just seemed to slip right out of my mouth! But it definately was in breech of the contract that the bride and groom signed with me. The bride and groom thought that the maids father was out of line too, but they didn't know what to do since it was a friend. They were not upset with me, I just feel bad that the one bridesmaid was missing from the rest of the shots!

[derek_c.]

This is strictly a personality problem.<br>

At the very same situation, I would have worked things out perfectly.<br>

At that kind of situation, I play dumb, I play cute...etc.<br>

You can take pictures together along with her father.<br>

You can even let her father take charge, and shoot her father's setup.<br>

Unless you have a brilliant posing technique in your sleeve, most formal shots are same o, same o, anyway.<br>

I will do whatever it takes to have everyone happy and get my pictures done also.<br>

<br>

I can get careless about getting the best of the best shots.<br>

Let the pictures be a little sucky, I care to please the guests, so they can use me in the future.<br>

B&G will love my pictures anyway.

[stacy_dallman]

It wasn't the brides father, it was a bridesmaids father. I have a clause in my contract stating that no one else is to shoot while I am shooting although I rarely enforce it because I don't mind people off to the side, but this bridesmaids dad was out of line, and he would have easily used up my remaining 10 minutes in front of the mansion if I had not done something fast!

[steve_levine]

This should now be one of your "discussion topics" at future sales meeting with any brides.

[kay_thorogood1]

Stacy-

I was the mother-of-the-groom and my husband and I hired a professional photographer. The father-of-the bride apparently asked a family friend to shoot pictures. Perhaps the father and/or the friend didn't understand that we had hired someone to do the job. It was in a Greek church and there was lots of movement of the bride, groom, priest. This guy was following them around in close range sweating profusely wearing a silk shirt during the hotest day ever recorded for our city. All the while our photographer was discreet; you never saw him. The bride glared at me and my husband. Later, she told us that she wanted us to do something about the situation.

 

At that time I was clueless what a wedding photographer had to deal with, however, I was really relieved and happy when he gained control once the ceremony was over. During the formals he made it clear to everyone who was the "hired help" so to speak. He was firm but polite. The guy retreated tail between his legs and left for the reception. Camera was left in the car. I don't think the guy really intended to intrude. The father asked and he responded kindly. Keep in mind that situations occur which are not the specific wishes of the bride and groom. One should always defer to them. Without alarming/upsettign them, explain your situation. Then, if you dont' get the shots you feel you need, then at least you know you warned them. All you can do is the best you can do. KAT

[karina_a]

It's not always possible, but the most stress-free formals sessions I have seen is when the guests all have somewhere to go off & have a drink (easier with outdoor weddings) & you can take the B&G away from everyone watching & snapping(they are usually more comfortable then anyway) & ask one of the bridal party to bring over family members etc as they are needed - then thank them and let them go back to their drinks. Not always possible, but the most relaxed, and whilst someone like this guy would probably still have tried to take over, it is harder.

[johnmarkpainter]

Stacy,

 

I don't blame you for freaking out, but all you can do is just let it go. They can't really

come back on you later if you don't have enough Formals with them.

 

NOW... if you make money from reprints then you have a bit more to be upset about.

 

jmp