Objectionable reception behavior

[nstock]

[Another thread] ...got me to thinking about the entire reception and the sometimes objectionable behavior that occurs.

 

It mentioned the cake smashing.. I too hate this and sometimes you

can see the divorce coming before the recption is over at this one

event. Where did the tradition of the bride and groom feeding each

other go from just that to doing as much damage as possible?

 

Another problem at a lot of receptions is the drinking which leads to

objectionable behavior. I have heard it said that a cash bar as

opposed to an open bar is "tacky." However, having seen a LOT of bad

behavior on the part of everyone from the bride and groom right down

to guests and (sometimes) vendors, I am starting to think that the

cash bar is the way to go.

 

One wedding I went to had a cash bar for the cocktail hour, but NO

food was served... This is just ASKING for trouble. People come from

the ceremony HUNGRY and the first thing to hit their stomachs is

alcohol with no food to buffer the absorption rate!

 

Receptions, and the excess drinking, often become the bunyon on an

otherwise really great day.

 

I have heard of and seen all sorts of bad behavior at receptions.

Sometimes you can see it coming.

 

Here are my questions:

What is the worse thing you have seen or experienced at a reception?

 

 

Do you think you could successfully market your work, be it PJ or

combination of PJ and formals, by limiting or eliminating attendance

at the reception?

(By limiting I am thinking of staying long enough to get the entrance,

the toast, a posed photo of the B&G at the cake and first dance(s) and

letting guests get cake and garter/bouquet shots).

 

I find that, even when I do PJ work, only about 8% of the photos taken

are at the reception.

[todd frederick]

Nancy,

 

I agree. I am almost at the point of eliminating the reception or limiting my reception photography to 3 hours...dinner, a few table snaps, first dances, cake and tosses, and I'm out.

 

Probably the worst was one where the police had to be called due to violent party crashers, and one where someone drenched my display/signature portrait with beer. He was not invited.

 

I also had one guest ink-out the grooms tooth on the display portrait... I now put these portraits behind glass!

 

I'm thinking of including a clause in my contract that indicates, if *I* think there is a possibility of violent activity, I will leave without loss of income.

 

I now collect all fees before the event and they are not refundable.

[todd frederick]

PS: Be careful.

 

I have a wedding coming up where I will need to park in a somewhat rough part of town to get to the college chapel.

 

We are carrying expensive equipment sometimes at night. These are other problems to consider.

[nstock]

Todd:

 

I forgot about the police activity at one event.. a girl's 16th birthday party.. where the girls grandmother etc. (mother's side of the family) showed up but were NOT invited.

 

I had to sit at the table with the hired uhhh.. "security"....

 

After the police escorted the uninivited guests off the property I was afraid a gang was going to show up to get THEIR shots off!

[lb-]

try shooting destination weddings in mexico!

 

Often times some or most of the wedding party is totally drunk long before the ceremony

even begins.

 

worst thing I experienced at a reception was a fight. Father of the bride and step father of

the groom. Summer wedding on the Jersey Shore. Bound to be a fight. heavy heavy

drinking.

 

the really went at it and both were big guys. it was really horrible. Ruined the entire

event.

 

once again, glad I got paid in full BEFORE the gig.

 

and no, I did not take pictures of the fight (despite the fact that it broke out right in front

of me).

 

and the fight came out of a heated discussion about politics!

[rich_dutchman1]

Are you kidding? That's the best part of the day. Bring on the the drinks and the trouble. I've seen it all.

 

And the one that takes the prize this month is the groom, probably high not drunk, toasting his new in laws with many obscenities for creating a wonderful daughter. The memories are better than their tip.

 

If it weren't for alocohol, where would I find an old married dude to hit on my assistant? We have lots of laughs about those.

 

Loosen up everyone. It's a wedding.

[todd frederick]

Rich, I can understand you bravado, but when you have to deliver crappy photos (not your lack of skill but the sloshed clients) what do you say? The one I did where the portrait photo was soaked in beer, the bride asked me why the groom looked drunk at the reception. I just had to tell her: HE WAS DRUNK! Somehow she expected me to make him look "undrunk," and she was a pissed bride...at me...though I delivered 300 fine photos.

[stacy]

Ya- I have to agree with Rich- receptions without liquor can be quite dull. give me a happy medium drunk- not to the fighting stage but to the dancing/laughing/making out stage...that's when the photos get very interesting :)

[jewan_runhaar]

I do like people being a little weird, but it can get a bit uncomfortable.

 

I am an assistant to a local photographer and we shoot business parties as well as weddings. Two months ago we were at a business party and as usual brought our crate with a computer and printer inside (it's a huge wooden crate, designed to carry those large speakers you see at concerts. The computer, monitor and printer are bolted to the floor so we only have to take the lit off and flip the sides of the crate underneath to make it an almost full size workstation and all we need is power and a chair.)

We put the crate in a quiet corner, took the lit off to get our cameras out and started checking out the venue. When we came back there was an early drunk (which was really strange, because almost all the other guests were executives) who apparently thought that our crate was a toilet. We were not amused and decided with the client that it would be better to make the prints later on instead of doing it right there at the party.

I actually had a great time, because instead of spending the evening behind PS and the printer I could just walk around and take pictures.

[nstock]

When you do over 30 weddings a year the "weird" behavior of drunks (and people high on drugs) is anything BUT interesting. Yes, it is a wedding, and for the folks there perhaps getting three sheets to the wind is unique and interesting (I think it would be a LOT more interesting to take the "morning after Photos).

 

However, when the old married alcoholic guy asks for your phone number at least once a month (I just give these guys my website) and the pictures look bad and the bride and groom are mad after the event because "those people look drunk" (or whatever), it stops being interesting to photograph.

 

Far from being an old prude myself, I find the going to excess is the issue.

 

However, I still have not seen many answers to the question of whether or not you think you can market your business with shortened, or no, photography at the reception.

[jewan_runhaar]

It is probably possible to skip a bit of the partying. However you are there to document the event and the only way to do that is to be there. Offcourse some people are drunk, but a lot of people are having just a great time besides that. Here in Holland most photographers I know hardly ever go to a party. They leave that up to the family. But that is because the ceremony and the party is usually on another part of the day.

[bruce_rubenstein]

Try finding a different clientele to market to.

[gaetano catelli]

<i>"I now collect all fees before the event and they are not refundable."</i><p>the beginning of wisdom, imo.

[kevin cook - stratford upo]

I don't do the reception at all. Never caused any problems in the UK.

Brideshouse - 1 hour, then church, formals, cake cutting and any pre reception shots the B&G want.

The first dance etc isn't as big over here though maybe.

We still have the issues though especially in certain parts of the market.

[nstock]

Bruce:

 

Elaborate? Are you suggesting a different wedding clientele or a different venue (not weddings or events)?

 

Actually, as the price goes up, the bad reception behavior tends to lessen. Not always, but sometimes.

 

BTW I always get paid before the wedding.

[bruce_rubenstein]

I either work for, or with, photographers who do mid to upper end weddings and have never seen drunken, behavior that disrupted a wedding reception. For that matter, I haven't seen it as a guest attended weddings for over 40 years either.

 

If I did wind up at a reception that got out of control, I'm still there to take pictures and not pass judgement.

[rich_dutchman1]

I wouldn't think it would be that marketable, if you're charging $3,000+ for time only. It's part of the wedding and brides want you there.

 

I have a contractual commitment to stay until the end or 11 p.m., whichever comes first. Many prospects tell me they hate seeing photographers leave after the cake cutting at most weddings. I think our promise to stay has added quite a few clients. I even had a (very drunk) mother hanging all over me Saturday and thanking me profusely (while crying) for staying until the bitter end.

 

For our albums, almost half of the photos clients choose are from the reception.

 

I think it's far more important to provide candid reception images instead of 200 dressing photos and 100 detail shots. The wedding is the couple, the family and their guests -- not lace trim, Vera Wang, and whoever is the latest shoe designer. If time is the issue, I would much rather skip the preparations and stay for more of the reception.

 

BTW, bad behavior doesn't mean bad photos. You're still the photographer, and you can make it look fun.

[nstock]

Bruce:

 

I too have always stayed and always tried to take the best photos possible under the circumstances. I would not think of doing otherwise as that is what I have agreed to do.

 

I am just wondering if there is another way and if it would be marketable?

 

 

I too agree that endless formals and dressing shots and details are not all that exciting. Certainly there are numerous candid shots that can be taken showing the greeting of friends and family not often seen and of the anticipation and pre ceremony nerves as well as the side scenes of people during the formal shooting.

 

I do not judge the ppl doing the drinking until the behavior and language becomes obscene or overbearing etc. I find this unpleasant (not that doing my job needs to be always pleasant either).

 

However, what I am seeing here is that most photographers do not think you can successfully market wedding photography without going to receptions.

[lb-]

let your assistant stay late and cover the bulk of the reception.

 

isn't that what they're for?

 

I ended up doing that all the time as an assistant. great experience.

[think27]

Like Ben..I don't experience any of this. Well, only twice in 15 years. I do limit my coverage. My packages are 5, 6, and 7 hours. I rarely stay for 8. I tell my clients they really only need 1 to 2 hours at most of dancing shots... They agree.