Critique This, Please Pt 5

 

I had fun with this shot I took with my phone. I don’t normally stage photos but this fell together nicely, I thought.

 

Please let me know what you think.

Would make a good stock image.

I like it but I don't think the scratch card adds anything to the image.

I also wonder if it would have been better to arrange the whole of the coiled lead on the table top, instead of allowing it to disappear over the edge.

Don't know much about them but've seen enough to agree with jc about stock.

Aside from that I think you did a pretty good job of arranging the elements. The opposing angles of the phone and cord. The diagonal placement close to that corner of the table sort of using that corner and the adjacent edges as a sort of natural frame (don't know if that was accidental or deliberate but either way, it works). The positioning of the scratch card and key, Etc. Think you nailed it.

I wish you could have found or created something here that would either grab me or keep my interest. The ordinariness has potential but not without a something extra that is added by framing it in a camera. Was there a lamp near by? Not that I’d need to see it, but maybe just the yellowness of it’s light and an effective highlight or two could have done the trick. Just a thought. Many things could have taken it a bit further.

 

The drink with olive shot seemed to have a reason to be shot from directly above. This doesn’t.

Nice colours and angles. I would take everything out of the photo except the phone and the table top. Fill the frame with the table, keep the phone as it is, lift the receiver off the cradle and place it at the side at an angle. That would give me the beginnings of a story. You have plenty of good ideas. Regards, Charles.

HI thanks for your comments everyone. I have a handful of other pics from this old motel room in my phone, I'll post some of them at some point.

I liked this because it just felt like stepping back in time. It's all very nondescript, but I thought the colorful elements sort of offset the monochromatic palette of the phone & tabletop, and saw the lotto ticket as a sort of ray of hope in a dreary environment. Ha but oh well back to the drawing board! Really appreciate all your comments.

I like the 'nostalgia' of this image. IHMO the photo would be much more powerful as part of a photo-series on 'communications' or even 'phones'. Just a diptych of this photo together with a photo of a modern smartphone would IHMO have a more powerful visual impact (then/now, how technology has - or times have - changed, what that means, to people, etc.)

 

In itself, this photo is IHMO a nostalgic photo with low visual impact. As part of a wider series it has much higher potential. So the challenge IHMO is to create a visual story around communication, phones, change in which this photo would be an iconic image.

 

Mike

Here are some other shots from this old motel

Middle Of Nowhere, West Virginia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The second set are very interesting. Almost as if its a documentary series of photos. I would have loved to seen a portrait or two in the mix, but the photos have artistic quality, like something you'd see in a downtown Manhattan gallery. The color one almost look like backgrounds for a Cindy Sherman photo.

Here are some other shots from this old motel

Middle Of Nowhere, West Virginia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I like ## 2, 6, 8. They remind me the works of supermatists.

Cheers.