How do you photograph your wife?

<p>My wife has been very encouraging and very instrumental in my development as an amateur photographer. She models for me, but there are "rules". For instance, she prefers not to be asked to model "on the spot". It helps for me to tell her ahead of time what technique i'm practicing so she knows how she is helping me. She isn't a professional model, nor is she comfortable (though she is getting more relaxed), so I have to be dillegent in helping her relax. Using the family cat or some other prop really helps. We are in our late 40's now, married for 15 years, and I realize just how good I've got it.</p>

<p>My wife always complains, in a friendly manner, that despite her husband, son and brother-in-law being avid photographers, she rarely gets her photographs made when she is dressed up and in her favorite outfits. Once, I had to take a picture of hands joined together for a thank-you slide I was working on for a club I belong to, and I quickly needed a nice shot of hands joined together in the traditional greeting or prayer form. My wife volunteered to be the model, and proceeded to put on lots of jewelery on her forearms and fingers. I needed a black background, so we proceeded to drape her in black fabric. In the end, her face and neck were showing, so we had to completely drape her, face and all in the black fabric to take the shot. Well, a bit of diffusion added to the glowing jewelery and I got the image I was looking for, and she got a story that she often repeats about how I treat her, photographically speaking, of course.</p>

<p>My technique is to have everything set up so that she can just walk it, 10 minutes, and we are done, that is about as long as she is going to last. And I always have a bottle of wine on hand.</p><div></div>

<p>Alex those are great photos, I especially like the first one with the book. May I ask, what did you shoot that with? Did you use lighting? </p>

<p>Whatever you do you must make her look good. Soft lighting is desirable! No need for super sharpness, soft tones and transitions are best. Here is a shot I did off the cuff of my wife when we went on a nature walk a couple of weeks ago. The day before was her 50th birthday. Shot was done with a Canon A-1 and Kiron 100mm lens at f/2.8 on Fuji Superia 400 film.</p>

Oops, here is the photo

<p>Problems with the internet will try later</p>

<p>Oh, for one, my wife ALWAYS manages to close her eyes. Flash or no flash. Humanly should not be possible. I do not know how she triggers it, hearing the shutter? Seeing me press the button? Cannot be seeing the flash..... I suspect she almost does it on purpose :)<br>

Second, the only true portrait I did which I though looked great and put on a X-mas card, I still get grief about. I have a few candids, that is about it. So I photograph ABTW (anybody but the wife) now... ")</p>

<p>Use a soft-focus lens ;)</p>

<p>I have one solution that always works: involve the dogs. They're better than a glass of wine to get the subject to loosen up. When the subject is the wife, it helps if she's Queen Alpha Mammal Of The Household, and the dogs know it.</p><div></div>

<p>Don't ask, don't tell.</p>

<p>With love.<br>

See attached. (not saying that he's my wife, or even my girlfriend, but this is how i go about it). (In McDonald's)<br>

John (Crosley)</p>

<p>It's funny. Often times we end up treating the ones we love the most the poorest. And photography is no exception. I'm not saying we often MIStreat our wives, but we often cut them less slack than a stranger or client, and don't communicate nearly as much with them. </p>

<p>Most wives want to be included as part of the process. Talk about how you should do an awesome shoot together and how fun it would be, but hopefully let her chime in with HER ideas for themes, locations, styles, wardrobe etc... If it's partly her brainchild, she'll want it to succeed as much as you do.</p>

<p>The worst part is communication. For some reason we seem to communicate less with our wives than a model or client. They often don't know what we're thinking or what we are trying to do and this frustrates them. It only takes one or two experiences like this to turn them off photoshoots forever. Meanwhile, we are always talking to clients to help bring our vision to life through the lens.</p>

<p>Also, we gotta really pump them up! Talk and give compliments even more than you might do to a stranger/client/model. Talk about how beautiful they are... CONSTANTLY. Tell them how smokin' the last shot you took is. If you make them feel like a million dollar model... you'll have a model for life. </p>

<p>Hahaha, I started in the doghouse for wife photography. She hated it. I've learned much from others more experienced than I in wife photography, and it really works if you treat them like a queen and communicate really thoroughly.</p>

<p>Not easy! Getting my crazy wife to smile is well nigh impossible. You will see my strategy here -</p>

<p>http://www.flickr.com/photos/arapesh/</p>

<p>I give her one of the cats and then she can't stop smiling! You will notice that they look exactly like each other!!</p>

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<p>ABTW (anybody but the wife)</p>

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<p>Very funny, Benjamin. My wife is possessed of that same innate ability. Don't know if it's some kind of subconcious defense, sort of Freudian, or her just messing with me 'cause I'm subjecting her to something that, truth be told, she'd rather not be taking part in.</p>

<p>I found out the hard way though that the real trouble was not aiming my lense in her direction. It was getting carried away in pp. She nearly came to tears when I showed her the "makeover" I'd done in PS. She accused me of not being happy with her body (i.e. her looks). Perhaps my reponse of "How could I be, I've seldom seen it since our honeymoon" didn't help.</p>

<p>(In previous post, my computer failed, messing up the attachment. I am not married, but have been and may be once again.)<br>

This is how I photographed my previous wife AFTER she had been suffering a while with brain cancer she was assured would be fatal. (in about 2004-5).<br>

To show her beauty and inner spirit (and daughter).<br>

John (Crosley)</p><div></div>

<p>Unnamed close friend showcasing love AND beauty.<br>

John (Crosley)</p><div></div>

<p>Unnamed close friend showcasing beauty and attempting to do so artistically. (today in dentist waiting room)<br>

John (Crosley)</p><div></div>

<p>In my case Flowers always help. !!!<br>

<img src="file:///Users/SL/Desktop/IMG_1942.jpg" alt="" /></p><div></div>

<p>Here the photo I couldn't upload before</p><div></div>

<p>I am not a professional photographer.<br>

1: admire her all the time<br>

2: Desensitize her to camera by shooting it often <br>

3: 'I love this light on your hair it gives a special glow to you', let me grab it click.<br>

4: If she does not like it delete it. <br>

5: Never post it without her permission. Give her the same respect you will to any of your clients. <br>

I take tons of pictures of my wife. She doest not want them ever to be posted and I will not. I have made photo books that she loves and I simply adore them.</p>

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<p>One should ALWAYS try to get photos of one's wife when she's absolutely 100% buck nekkid, they always make nice bargaining chips in the divorce!</p>

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<p>She accused me of not being happy with her body (i.e. her looks). Perhaps my reponse of "How could I be, I've seldom seen it since our honeymoon" didn't help.</p>

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<p>.... and yet you're still alive today... just lucky?</p>

<p>Iftikhar: good advice, I think I have stuck to No. 1,2,4,5 mostly (except for the X-mas card), but I'll try No. 3!</p>

<p>It was fun to be quoted by the originator of the thread!<br /> Actually my remark was very specific. I don't know about wives other than mine! Most likely this attitude is related in mistrust in the photographer's capability (mine) to take decent photos. In any case it requires a lot of patience. I prefer to take unposed shots, because normally they come out better. But also this has exceptions.<br /> Basically it's the situation, the mood and the "complicity" of the moment. It's like photographing an inexperienced model. No real technical requirement, any camera, any lens I am comfortable with is fine for the purpose.<br /> I think one of the key issues in the case Richard presents is the - normally - deep involvement of the photographer with the subject. Maybe the solution is just practice. If wife has enough patience!<br>

Opposite to my wife, my father in law: he is an excellent model and poses in an outstanding way, with his sparkling blue eyes.<br>

One last extremely important remark: I am hyper-critic on these photos and throw away anything which I don't think is acceptable.</p>