spurcell

<p>Hi all,<br>

I thought I would pop in and give you an update as to what happened with this situation.<br>

I took the advice of some and gave them a deadline of 4/30/11 to provide the contact and deposit and expressed my concern with the lack of response as well as the fact that I felt I had been more than accomodating with no respect in return. At that time my SIL apologized for the delay and said she understood my frustration. She also informed me that it was not her paying and that it was her boyfriend and the groom paying and that she would letting them handle it from then on out. I let her know that I wish I had that information in the beginning because I would have then dealt with them only.<br>

I didn't hear from anyone for a week or until after the deadline so I respectfully declined the job. I did provide a referral as well as suggestions on how to find a student or first year photographer but received no response. I did see on Facebook that my SIL had posted a desperate request for anyone that knew a great photographer for her friends wedding. I don't know if they've found anyone to date as I haven't heard from her. However, I am relieved to not be doing this wedding. I just think the whole situation would have continued to be unorganized and probably chaotic - which is not a situation I want to be in if I don't have to be.<br>

Thank you again for all of your advice and opinions. Much appreciated!</p>

<p>Just to clarify, my SIL is the sister of my husband. Their relationship is not stellar and I'm not that close with her or their family. However, I don't want to purposely create a problem. I just am feeling taken advantage of and want to draw the line somewhere. I believe I did more than bend over backwards and they still expect more which is incredibly rude.<br>

I had/have no intentions of making up any stories to back out. I would do it based on the factual reasons only and just trying to decide how to approach it politely but firmly as possible.<br>

Nadine, the wedding will be in Auburn. I would like to fly into Sacramento since flights cost less into that airport but I am waiting for, yet again, more info from my SIL (who lives in Marin) on if they are driving up there the friday night before the wedding or the morning of since they would be picking me up at the airport. I am hoping for friday night because I prefer not to fly in and have to instantly get started but I'll do what I have to if this deal goes through.<br>

Again, I truly appreciate all of the input you all have provided. Extremely helpful! :)</p>

<p>Simon, thanks for that additional info. My first instinct was to include them since they would be the one's in the end unhappy but then I was questioning it because they, thus far, have not seemed to put a lot of priority in getting me the information and contract needed.<br>

New question for you or anyone if I may... When a B&G come to you for their wedding and after you send the contract for them to sign (assuming you haven't signed it yet) and they say to you, "Oh, btw my Uncle is paying so i'll try to get the deposit for you as soon as possible". Do you then tell them you need to revise the contract to include the Uncle? I haven't had this situation but now after this current dilemna I'm in my busy little mind is creating possible scenarios to prepare for. ;)</p>

<p>Ted, I have never been in a situation like this and thought since they were the ones ultimately getting the photos they should know and agree to the details so that they don't come back and ask for anything later.<br>

Again, another lesson learned and a mistake I won't repeat.</p>

<p>Simon, no I have not signed the contract. I always sign last and let them know it's not a done deal until I have the deposit and I provide a copy of a fully executed contract to them.<br>

Thank you for your advise as well.</p>

<p>I very much appreciate all of the opinions and avice provided. When I started my business 2 years ago I was on this site all of the time reading and gathering information to try to do things right and be smart about it. I even made sure I had a contract for my very first wedding (which was for a friend of my own) just to be safe. Luckily, that went off without a hitch) and I am well aware that may not be the norm (this situation is case in point). <br>

I have been careful and direct with all of my clients since and it has worked out well. Though I have read the horror stories on here and elsewhere about working for family, I obviously didn't take that advise as seriously as I should have. My own fault for trying to accommodate and then some. A lot of lessons learned here.<br>

I think what I will do is contact my SIL and let her know I need the contract and deposit from her by Friday or I will have to respectfully decline and explain why. I will try to be kind but firm as possible. If they can provide what I reqeust I will happily do the wedding and give my best as usual. Unfortunately, talking in person is not an option since she also lives up North and there are no upcoming opportunities for us to get together before the wedding date.<br>

After this mess I will be, once again, revising my contract and will be laying down a few more ground rules with every new potential client.<br>

Again, thank you so much for your replies.</p>

<p>First a couple of details. I am in Southern California and the wedding in question is in Northern California.<br>

In February of this year I received an email from a friend of my sister-in-law (SIL) saying that my SIL told her I would be providing photography services for her wedding and that they had booked me a room at the hotel which the wedding will be taking place. She didn't tell me the date, just that its in June -no other information provided. I immediately emailed my SIL to let her know about the email and asked why she told her friend this and asked if she had any other info. SIL replied that she had told her to contact me and hoped I could do the wedding and that she (my SIL) and her boyfriend would be paying for it as their gift to the B&G.<br>

I then replied to the friend and kindly asked her what her wedding date in June is as I already have 2 weddings that month and if I had that date available I would be happy to discuss more details with her. <br>

Next day she replies that the wedding is June 4th. It turns out I had that date available so I let her know right away and proceeded to ask her my usual questions to find out what their wedding photography needs are and suggested she look at the packages I offer to assist with deciding. It took her 6 weeks to get back to me and even then she didn't provide much information but said the very basics would be fine.<br>

In the meantime, I had several emails back and forth with my SIL trying to find out from her what, if any limit they had for how much they had planned to pay since this is their gift to friend. Took her a few weeks to respond as well and eventually about March 24 SIL replied that they could not afford my prices and was hoping to get a discount. I agreed to give a discount since she is family but the discount I offered was still too much for them and they were hoping to only spend $500 and would help pay for my flight up North. I quickly let her know that I could not do $500 that as it would end up costing me $$ which I could not afford to do. I countered with slightly higher fee and SIL finally replied on April 1st that they would pay that fee.<br>

Ok, still not what I believe I should be paid but I decided to do my SIL a favor and I felt bad because time is is almost out for the B&G to find a new photographer. On April 6th I emailed the B with my wedding contract that had all the details of what they would get for the price being paid and let her know that I needed to her and her groom to sign right away so that I could also forward it to SIL and her boyfriend to sign and get me my required deposit. Needless to say, I didn't hear back by the end of the week as I had requested.<br>

In fact, I still have not heard back from the B&G and it's now April 25th. Since SIL is their friend, on April 17 I asked her to contact her friend and light a little fire under them to get that contract back to me. I still have not heard anything. <br /><br />Since this is not a local wedding it will take additional planning including booking a flight (which only gets pricier as the date gets closer) and renting of additional equipment that I just don't have in my arsenal yet.<br>

This is not how I usually do business and I'm feeling as though they're possibly taking advantage of the fact that I'm family especially after agreeing to a huge discount. I'm seriously unsure of how to handle this. I don't want to upset my SIL and I would feel bad that the B&G had to scramble to find another photographer that would take the job at such a low price but there's nothing I can do if they don't respond. However, I don't feel I should have to scramble at the last minute to get things together.<br>

For the moment I am giving them until this Friday to respond. <br>

At this point I'm ready to respectfully decline the job. What would you do? Have you had this experience before and how did you handle it?<br>

Thank you so much for your time and suggestions. (Sorry for the run-on sentences, lol)<br>

~Shannon</p>

<p>Thank you, I completely understand what you are saying and thought of the same however, I was wondering about the technicality part of it. One thing to note that is interesting to the situation is that he's actually using one of the photos he asked me to take down as his Facebook profile photos. So I tend to think he has some other reason but won't say what it is.<br>

As far as the other photos he asked to be taken down...I have received several compliments on most of them with people stating they think the couple are models. <br>

Again, thank you for the honest opinions!</p>

<p>Shannon :)</p>

<p>I did an engagement photo shoot for a couple for free. The verbal and email agreement was that this session was to update my portfolio and in return I would give them a CD with 15 photos of their choice from the session. Now one of them is asking that I remove a few of the photos from my website because he thinks he looks like a beached whale. <br>

Other than the verbal and email discussions no contract was signed (stupid, I know. won't do it again). I know I have copyright and own these photos but could there potentially be a problem if I don't take them down since there wasn't a signed contract or model release?<br>

Thank you for reading this. Looking forward to your opinions.</p>

<p>Yes, WW, thank you for clarifying.<br>

I recognize I'm playing with fire by shooting a wedding when I haven't had the experience with it but the couple that asked me to do it is insistant that they want me so I'm trying to learn everything I can to give them the best I can.<br>

Yours and everyone's help to my beginner wedding photography questions is great appreciated. I will be reading through the wedding forum as well.</p>

<p>Thank you for the additional suggestions. I really appreciate it.</p>

<p>William W., I'm not quite sure what you mean but this...in particular the not safe indoors part: <i><b>On an XTi, the limit of the zoom being 24mm, is not safe indoors, IMO.</b></i><br>

Would you mind clarifying? Thanks.</p>

<p>Thank you for the link and the suggestion of the wedding forum.<br>

Cheers!</p>

<p>I can use on my XTi for indoor wedding photography. Would also appreciate suggestions for good places to rent from online.<br>

Only lens I currently own is a 50mm F1.8 II<br>

I can't afford to buy a new lens right now. I would like to rent a lens to practice with and rent for the wedding.<br>

Thanks!</p>