elizabeth_carbone

Hi MD, Jim, Daniel, Kyle, Dave, Paul, and Eric,

Well, you've certainly given me a lot to think about...thank you all for your helpful suggestions! Wish me luck as I broach this

subject with my husband. Thanks again! : )

Rose-Marie, Mani, and Ilkka,

Well, mainly he thinks that I should be able to switch that "turn off" button and change modes from photographer to

vacationing companion....what I have trouble with is turning off my photographer's eye--especially when I have my pro

equipment with me.

So I think that it's about the two of us communicating our desires and expectations more clearly, and also about us setting

parameters that we both need to adhere to. In other words, if we decide that a good solution would be for me to spend a

couple of hours just shooting then he should not interrupt me or complain during that pre-set time period, and once I put my

camera away I need to focus more of my attention on him and experience my vacation rather than capture it in a camera lens.

Also, to answer your other question...he doesn't necessarily expect me to sell my photos from a trip (although that would be

nice), but he understands that shooting photographs is something that I enjoy doing and that I will regret not having a decent

camera if I see something that catches my eye. That being said, he doesn't really enjoy standing around while I shoot.

Although, in the past when we have set time limits on how long I spend photographing he seems to deal much better with this.

It's those times, like Ilkka, where I haven't had a camera that I've regretted missing a truly amazing image...and he

understands how disappointed I feel when that happens. I think that is why he insists I take along my camera. He wants to

allow me the freedom to do something that I love, but has trouble reconciling that with his own desire to spend quality time with

me. And I have trouble reconciling my desire to get the image "right" versus hurrying myself and ultimately achieving a

dissatisfying result because I know I could have done better with just a little more time. This frustration coupled with my

feelings of guilt (because I know he is waiting for me and not enjoying himself) makes for horrible pictures and a horrible

vacation. Those lost photos are etched into my memory forever as images I would like to replicate if I could...

To Ilkka, Douglas, Matthew N., Daniel, and everyone,

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond...I greatly appreciate everyone's advice. I definitely want to take a camera

with me, but I need to research several options (some of which have been mentioned here in this forum) and choose a

camera that is lighter in weight and less bulky, relatively inexpensive, unobtrusive, and yet takes good quality images. So I'm

not sure yet whether this will be a higher end P&S or a lower end SLR, but I definitely need to use different equipment.

Also, it is clear I need to "strike a balance" and "set parameters" as Matthew N. and Daniel and many of you have already

suggested. Matthew N., you're right that I need to communicate better with my husband and find out what his expectations

are...I know he doesn't want to hold me back, and he knows that I will regret not having a camera b/c I will invariably see

something that I want to shoot...so Daniel H., your suggestion of doubling/tripling/quadrupling the quality time I spend behind

the camera to spend more quality time with my husband is a good one.

Perhaps if he and I set aside a certain amount of unfettered time that I could shoot to my eye's content, then we could agree

to put the camera away during our time together...clearly more communication is key. Any other suggestions would be

appreciated and I'll be sure to keep you all up-to-date on my progress. Thanks! : )

To Markus, Dave, Mark, Matthew, Peter, Marios, David, Charles, Eric and Gordon,

I want to thank all of you for taking the time to read about my dilemma and also respond to it...it is obvious to me from all of

your answers that I need to set clearer parameters for when I am going to shoot pictures and when I'm not. My husband is

happy to accompany me when I shoot (although he doesn't care to participate beyond pointing out things he thinks I might like

to photograph), and he is not an unreasonable man, but having my camera with me always is a problem for us.

I have tried using a small film camera (Pentax P30T) on several trips where I just ended up frustrated with running out of film.

And I've also tried using a large digital camera (Nikon D2Xs) with one small lens and a flash system. Needless to say, the

digital camera became a heavy and expensive burden quickly.

Up to this point, I hadn't completely separated out working holiday from vacation because I felt that vacation could be an

opportunity to capture that one great picture to make a fine art print or to sell a photo to a magazine. What I needed to

realize, I guess, was that I am as bad as that person who can never put away their pda/phone/laptop on a leisure trip.

Perhaps setting a certain time-period that we are both aware of, like one day or a few hours out of the entire trip, to shoot

would be a happy compromise and if we visit multiple places I could spread this out for the whole trip. The key is setting a limit

and sticking to it. Thanks again!

Hi Everyone,

Just a little background...before I was married I was never able to afford traveling much. Now that I am married (no kids), my husband and I

have gone on several trips together and I continue to have the same problem. He wants me to take my professional digital SLR camera and

lenses along with us on vacation. I do not.

The reason is because when I have my equipment with me I feel compelled as a photographer to shoot...a lot. Partly, because I am trained as

a photographer to shoot an image when I come across something that piques my aesthetic/artistic interest, and partly because I am in a

different frame of mind when I have my professional equipment with me.

As it stands now, if I take my professional SLR camera (which I always do because he insists I'll miss out on some good photo opportunities if I

don't) one of two scenarios ends up happening:

1. I shoot a ton of pictures and he's miserable, bored and feeling resentful. Because of this I feel guilty for using up so much of our time

together shooting pictures, and end up rushing myself so I'm not able to shoot the quality imagery I normally would achieve anyway.

2. I restrain myself mightily and only take a small handful (couple hundred) of images, and feel guilty because I'm not taking the pictures I

want to take and he's still upset/impatient with me anyway.

He insists that I should be able to "control" myself more like a "normal" adult and not take so many pictures (I'm still not sure what "so many" is

in his book). This is from a person who may shoot 3-4 rolls of film while on a 17-day, first-time trip to Italy. When I'm working as a

photographer, I can easily shoot 8-10 rolls worth per day or at a 12-hour wedding 3000+ images. Part of that is how I was trained and part of

that is my shooting style (I hone in on a subject and shoot multiple angles/compositions/depths-of-field in order to capture the best possible

image).

My solution would be to purchase a good high-end point and shoot that still allows me a fair amount of control in the outcome of the image so

that the quality is still there. For one thing, the camera would weigh much less (we're talking a minimum of 15-20 pounds of equipment

otherwise) and be easier to carry along while we walk places. For another, I wouldn't have to worry about my expensive equipment "growing

legs" in the hotel room. And thirdly, I wouldn't feel the same level of compulsion toward taking pictures and I would be able to enjoy our

vacation together much more.

I think that I should just take a decent point and shoot on our vacations together, and only shoot the fun stuff. That way he's enjoying himself

and I'm enjoying myself more because we are spending time together and I'm not working. And I won't care as much about how the pictures

turn out either. I figure that I need to start setting aside a little extra money for me to take a couple short/week-long "working" trips by myself,

and stop worrying that I'm never going to get to "that part of the world" again.

When I see a great picture unfolding before me I can't, in good conscience and as a professional photographer, not shoot what I see. So...how

would you guys handle this problem?

Sorry this is so long...

Elizabeth