The Final Hug

A friend dying of prostate cancer with a few weeks to live (has passed on) had  close friends visiting him. His favorite hymns were played and everyone contemplated quietly. Then there were jokes and laughter and then each one of us approached him, hugged him and told him how we felt about him. There were no tears and I thought that if I was in his position, this is how I would want it. He was dying at  home surrounded by family and close friends who came to visit for one more time.

One could argue about the technical merits - background too well focused, our friends face and hands too dark, a bit grainy  but I hope that I captured a feeling - one which is transmitted via this medium.

Why load this 'dark' image which I took more than a year ago? Michel L (of PN) sent me a link http://fstoppers.com/art-or-pornography-the-life-and-work-of-sally-mann  which we both found inspirational and it sent me looking for this image which I knew I had. There is nothing here about pornography - anything but that. Watch the 'movie' and it will be clearer why I loaded this image.

Thanks for sharing.  As we age and watch friends and family pass, surely, being able to share a hug and feelings when exiting is grand.

Dominick - Thanks - turning in for the night!

C%C - thanks.

Your image speaks volumes, Tony; no words are needed here... A somber and emotional image, yet with a glimpse of light, somewhere beyond... A powerful, and very moving testimony.  Kind regards to you, Marjolein  

PS: I looked at your link, and immensely enjoyed watching the 'behind the scenes' moments (touching, and interesting) of Sally Mann's life. Thank you for sharing this here as well.

This is a well done b&w and most of all, touching.

Thanks for your kind comment. I am happy to share. Even though his wife encouraged me to take images, I was somewhat hesitant to do so and then to display them here. I believe that she trusted me to do the right thing. Perhaps it is the reason why I kept the facial portions a bit dark.

In the color image, the plant was a brilliant green but the B&W reduces it's impact here  - not detracting from 'the final hug'.

Sally Mann describes in the link I provided that she knew her doctor father was dying and she finally worked up enough courage to go in and say "Daddy - I love you" and his response was "There there". I suppose he was suppressing his need to say "And i love you to dear". Perhaps there should have been a hug at that time.  At that point I felt the need to go through my files and find this image.

As I traveled to this 'final' reunion  - a 40 minute drive - it weighed heavily on my mind - on the one hand - glad it was not me in his position - and wondering how this visit would pan out - what do you say - what do you do. There was nothing planned about this hug. It was a spontaneous action and then I grabbed my camera and made the best of it with the settings I had.

I have gone through your portfolio and I think i can see why you liked the Sally Mann (Photographer) feature.

I have two granddaughters and i always ask them to smile and catch that happy 'typical' moment. While i will not emulate Sally mann's type of images, it makes me want to photographically approach my granddaughters with more thought and what I would want to preserve. Perhaps it will be their loving relation and the times they cause each other to shed a tear!

If you look at the type of images I have at PN, I am not totally comfortable with this kind of image - perhaps it evokes feelings that as a man, I would prefer to suppress as I was taught.

Enough of this before I get any deeper!

Glad you chose to visit and comment. Thanks.

Tony,

  Wow...a photo to treasure & beautiful words of wisdom.  Thank you for sharing.  Take care, Patsy

I think the image has merit and interest on it's own, but even more so with the accompanying story.  It caught my attention right away without knowing the story.

I am glad you both liked it. All the very best,

First of all,this is a beautiful and an emotional shot with a great moment and you registered this moment as well as possible.This is very well that you done your shot in b&w and the effectiveness of the shot is more than colour ones.I like the spotted lights that spread on the wall and you catch it as well,also.The woman that seated in the corner right side is a great added to your shot and her smile is a meaningful gesture that you shared with us!At the other side you selected a wonderful title that fitted perfect to your shot,also!Nice seen and captured and thnx for your full description about the shot!...Best regards(Bobby).

Tony,

Thank you so much for your follow-up. I understand that this must be a moving memory for you. The emotion comes through in the photo.  Wishing you all the very best.    

Kind regards to you,

Marjolein

A beautiful and moving image Tony. For me an important moment captured.

It speaks also of the empathy I have seen in your work.

All my best,   Bill

Bobby and Bill Thanks.