I Know a Secret!

A resubmission of a previous work- I'd really like the opinions of those who

are skilled in portraiture.

Just my personal preference, it's too close. I think that a more zoomed out shot with some empty space to the left and top of the subjects head would be a lot more pleasing to the eye.

This is more a closeup of an expression than it is a portrait of a face.  In that case perhaps cutting off some of the forehead and just getting the essentials of that facial look would work to the best advantage.  You then, might want to retouch the eyes to eliminate all but one highlight