"Oh Jesus! 'The Last Supper by John Crosley'" © 2009, All Rights Reserved

It was about the time of HIS birthday, I walked around a corner at a

mall/shopping center, and there was Jesus having some Asian

noodles. I stopped, asked to take his photo, he said, 'of course', I

acknowledged it was the photographic (and possibly other) opportunity

of a lifetime, we talked awhile, then exchanged e-mail addresses, I

mentioned that I needed forgiveness badly, and finally we went our

separate ways.

 

Your ratings and critiques are invited and most welcome. If you rate

harshly, very critically or wish to make an observation, please submit a

helpful and constructive comment or observation; please share your

photographic knowledge to help improve my photography. Thanks!

Enjoy! John (Please notice the noodles at Jesus's mouth and the

plastic fork, which are not in classical depictions of HIM.)

This would be titled 'The Last Supper' as it was then truthful 100%.

 

He was not to have another supper for another day, at minimum.

 

John (Crosley)

 

P.S. Note to Jesus: I kept my promise (this time at least). jc

Who says Jesus wouldn't be eating Asian noodles at the mall?

 

In a previous incarnation, he was a Jew kicking money changers out of the temple - an angry young man.

 

Or divvying up loaves and fishes -- outdoing even Wolfgang Puck among celebrity chefs -- leading the movement for plain but filling mass eats.

 

In a more serene presentation, he shook my hand here (photos on my hard drive), then asked to have his photograph taken in the more 'beneficent pose', arms outspread (on some stairs) lifted one hand to his mouth (gas I think), then we parted, both happier for the exchange.

 

(I figured I needed proof that 'I shook Jesus's hand when I planned to go grocery shopping in South Central that night, so I requested the handshaking photo (camera in one hand, grasp in the other).

 

The 'ultimate' 'Grip 'n Grin' photo.

 

I challenge anyone to outdo that one.

 

I was the hit of the the biggest supermarket in South Central Los Angeles, when I proclaimed loudly to people I met that ''I found JESUS!', Sunday-go-to-meeting style, and then when people looked at me like I was crazy, simply showed them this photo (and the one of Jesus shaking my hand -- same cloth on my cuff then as on the shaking hand in the photo).

 

There were no detractors, except one thin young white woman, giving her boyfriend a very hard time because she didn't like the martini glasses they were shopping for, and when she saw the photo pronounced it 'Vulgar', and when I said that means 'common' she said 'well, it's Vulgar anyway'.

 

I don't think she knew the true meaning of vulgar (common, not derisive)

 

'Boy,' I said to a supermarket employee,'I feel sorry for her boyfriend', and the employee who was busy looking at my Jesus photos, looked up and said 'you can say that again.' She's got no sense of humor at all).

 

Even pastors (at least three) and their wives (yes, only three) had big smiles and laughs over this one, especially for one black Baptist minister from South Central Los Angeles to whom I said' Now when a woman stands up on Sunday in front of your Congregation and proclaims loudly Gospel style 'I FOUND JESUS', now that you've seen my photos, you'll have to insist on a higher standard of proof -- perhaps ask her for photos.

 

He laughed heartily and smiled broadly, as did his wife -- all in good fun

 

It was the Night Before Christmas, and it brought down the house.

 

© 2009, All rights reserved

 

John Crosley

 

P.S., I do have in my request for forgiveness, but I think it will take all three parts of the Trinity to consider it (Father, Son and Holy Ghost), if you are familiar with Christianity (considering the severity of my 'transgressions')

 

John (Crosley)

Nice timing! too bad that the world economic ressesion left him with no wine. Best regards!

John, I cannot stop laughing what a great capture 7/7 Now they will definitively start teaching creationism along with evolution in public schools; what have you done John? :)

You know, you're right. I did not see any wine . . . or anything else to drink on Jesus's table.

 

I remember from church going days the phrase regarding the Communion wine 'drink this, for this is the blood of Christ' , . . . and now I think maybe I should have apologized to Jesus for cannibalism, and barring that, for vampirism . . . .

 

Of course, everybody drank from the same germ-laden golden chalice absolutely ensuring that any bacteria or virus would be totally spread from parishioner to parishioner, and the local priest just wiped the golden chalice with a cloth, thinking somehow that would banish those dirty germs from spreading, mouth to cup to mouth to cup and so on, down the line.

 

Of course, our Parish priest was no fool; church rules required that the amount of wine apportioned for the parish congregation's Communion service not be thrown away and be consumed, before service ended, so if the Congregation didn't finish off the Communion wine, before that service was up, he polished it off himself, gulp by holy gulp, each time he drank raising the chalice in silence to God, apparently for its alcoholic contents, and no one could accuse him of being a drunk -- his parishioners' lack of thirst drove him to drink -- literally.

 

By God he HAD to consume that wine.

 

He consequently often was extremely FRIENDLY to the parishioners as they departed, even hanging onto their hands for a very long time as he slowly wished them a lengthy good wish for the coming week and inveigled them to come back the following week with his most mischievous priestly smile, cast among the whole flock at the church front door, as his flock quickly tried to scatter after services, and particularly the pretty young women from the local university who were the objects of particular affection and priestly embraces. No pedophilia in that ministry; he liked college age sorority girls who came every Sunday and filled rows and rows of pews, dressed in their Sunday best, crinoline petticoats and nylons, rising and kneeling alternately, as good Episcopalians do . . . . . a service that keeps a parishioner moving, from prayer, to singing while standing, to seated during the sermon, to singing, to praying, . . . well you get the idea.

 

It is said no one could fall asleep during such an Episcopalian service . . .. it was just tooo busy.

 

;~))

 

Whatever other troubles the parish priest might have had, that Holy Wine surely washed it away, during not one but two services on Communion Sundays.

 

And in my church priests didn't have to be celibate - and they're now being sought after by the Catholics, even if they've tasted of 'the fruit forbidden to Catholic priests'.

 

The Catholic hierarchy says for these non-Catholic priests being recruited to Catholic priesthood, it's OK if they've had sexual lives, even if they deny the same thing to their own priests.

 

Maybe it's punishment for the more than a few Catholic priests and higher ups who chased too many young boys or covered up for those who did. (a major reason there aren't enough Catholic priests to go around, plus the Catholic priesthood has lost its luster following scandal after scandal in country after country while prelates worldwide worriedly follow the relevant statutes of limitation for prosecution for sexual molestation in times past with intense scrutiny.

 

It was the best of all priestly worlds for those priests of my church, and in addition to allowed to be married, furthermore, it was not unheard of for such a priest to admit that he had sincere doubts even about the existence of God, in my church, as well even of his priestly calling, and still he might not even be called heretical -- and was sometimes lauded for his honesty by a coterie of parishioners.

 

Such was the gray world of religion in which I grew up in.

 

What would Jesus, above, had to say about that?

 

I was so taken aback by stumbling upon Jesus that night I forgot to ask.

 

Shame on me for being so slow-witted.

 

I didn't even ask him the meaning of lfie.

 

Jesus, above, was humble and didn't even have a sacred e-mail address, such as 'Jesus@celestialsavior.org' as one might have expected . . . . just an ordinary e-mail address (which I won't share).

 

I would have expected Jesus to be dining on sacrificial lamb, not Asian noodles with a little excess soy sauce . . . but then tastes change over the millennia. Maybe he had too many sacrificial lambs for his palate.

 

Besides, lamb can carry Jakob-Kreutzfeld disease (the same thing so far as one can tell, as bovine spongiform encepalopathy--- BSE, aka "Mad Cow Disease') and always has, but no one's going around killing all the lambs and sheep . . . . like they did with cattle and proclaiming the end of civilization because we no longer could have hamburgers.

 

Of course, the end of hamburgers, for Americans, would be the end of civilization, now, wouldn't it?

 

Especially the end of In-N-Out Burgers.

 

Even the French, with their famous rich cream and wine sauces and butter this and cream that, who were thought immune from getting fat, now are getting fat from:

 

American hamburgers - specifically McDonald's -- which the French finally have embraced with American 'fast food'.

 

We should look to Jesus's diet.

 

A small plate of Asian noodles.

 

For his 'Last Supper'.

 

© 2009, All Rights Reserved

 

John (Crosley)

Don't blame me for Creationism.

 

Don't you know that when Jesus was alive there were dinosaurs everywhere, eating the sheep?

 

Killing Herod's cattle.

 

Pterodactyls swooped down on Gomorrah adding to the chaos.

 

Don't confuse me with Confusionism.

 

I didn't invent it.

 

I'm not even the messenger.

 

I forgot to ask Jesus the meaning of life.

 

What a dumb sucker I am.

 

He woulda also told me about those 2,000 year old pterodactyls, or how Moses was hidden in the rushes and reeds so the Pterodactyls and triceratops would not eat him and civilization as we know it could be saved, so we could have Sunday church and The Rapture.

 

I forgot to ask about The Rapture, too.

 

Boy, it wasn't even in the Bible in my church.

 

They didn't even have that book in our Holy Bible.

 

What a dumb sucker I was that night.

 

There were all the answers just waiting for me to ask the proper questions.

 

The meaning of life, dinosaurs, triceratops, Moses, pterodactyls, a 5,000-year-old earth, the Rapture, and why Jesus chose a plate of Asian noodles, all went unanswered because I was too dumb to ask the right question and instead got his e-mail address like a dumb fool.

 

Hey, Jesus, can I have your e-mail address, and sure, I'll send you a copy, or better yet, you can look my name up in Google.com and just right click it to make a copy (I give you permission to make a copy of my copyright photo).

 

See how dumb I am, 'giving' Jesus 'permission' to make a copy of his likeness, and 'giving' him my name as if he didn't always know it already, then 'giving' him my e-mail address, as if he didn't know everything about everything without ever being asked.

 

He is the one Creator for whom the word 'omniscient' was coined, and here I am giving him 'instructions' and 'information'.

 

What kind of fool am I?

 

[from 'Stop the World, I Want to Get Off', Broadway play, end of Act One, Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley, songwriters, 1992., also a hit by Sammy Davis, Jr.]

 

© 2009, All Rights Reserved

 

John (Crosley)

I have had to tell two different observers, friends, who separately told me that they thought those were worms in Jesus's mouth, fork, and plate.

 

I can bear witness that those are indeed noodles, not worms,

 

Repeat, those are not worms in Jesus's mouth.

 

That should clear that up.

 

John (Crosley)

 

 

Simply awesome!

I can't take credit.

 

I'll pass word on to Jesus about this one.

 

Credit where credit is due.

 

Meantime, remember,those are NOT worms in his mouth.

 

John (Crosley)

Yauk! That's a catch, man. It leaves me wordless, something that shouldn't happen... ;.) I see that you master the "hunting attitude" of a professional photographer, you're really an inspiration to me.

From the beginning of my membership on Photo.net I was inspired by some of the photos you took, so getting such a compliment from you (still as an amateur), is extremely satisfying to me.

 

Thank you so much.

 

juan

 

John (Crosley)