Goodbye soldier... Union Station

please let me know what you think

The shot is setup okay, I like the camera position and the basic composition, but the flash has some problems. The location highlights the bench more than the model, drawing attention to it instead of her. Also, the props (bench) cast flash-shadows on the model (should be the opposite).

 

It would be nice (very nice) to have the model's face closer to the camera. If her 'soldier' is leaving her, her face is the story. Right now the bench is the story ('the envy it feels knowing the girl prefers the soldier to it'), being biggest and closest to the camera.

 

You've got a big contrast range to deal with there, so one of two things had to happen: Use flashes (miltiple) in softboxes to mimic light coming from a bank of windows opposite the ones shown, or better yet, from a skylight;

 

or use existing light only. This presents a development problem since you'd need to do a contrast-reducing development and that's tricky with roll film. I doubt you'd be able to shoot that using existing light and normal development, then reduce contrast using VC paper; you'd need to an N-2 development at least.

 

Anyway, I don't think there is any way you'd get that shot with a single flash without moving the camera. One idea: lift the camera up to just below eye level and put the flash about 6 inches above and to the right of the camera. I'm thinking of duplicating the shot you'd get from a WWII-era Graflex press camera. You might still need a flash diffuser to mimic the reflector bowl of the Graflex bulb flashes, but it might be cool to see what you'd get. Matches your theme, anyway.

 

Minor thing: get the fluorescent light out of frame. There are also some reflections of fluorescents in the top of the windows. Is it possible to turn them off there without disrupting too much?

Hallo Evrim, very nice picture.

 

Regards,

Agree with Bruce Wilson. Bench overlit. Lights in the upper frame. I try to remember the rule that your eye is always drawn to the lightest, brightest point of an image. I love the timelessness of the shot and the mood. I kinda like the angle - but also would shoot closer in on the face as well as this angle for two different looks.