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This is perhaps not a comment about the photography per se, but I would just say that the make-up - although impressive at first sight - is probably done by someone who has about 5 years experience as a make-up artist - and possibly less, and it is complicated, but less than perfect. One of the "gems" at the top of the eye at right is "falling". The lips are assymetric and all lines on them are not clean.

As far as photography is concerned, I'd rather go for studio work or work outdoors with either an outoor flash system or some strong diffusion materials on a sunny day. Lighting such a make up well is not easy. But then again, you might not own the right equipment...? Without the appropriate equipment, I'd say you did fairly well about the light. Finally in terms of composition, that green area at right bothers me a little. Hair bother me a bit too... All in all, this isn't bad at all, but needs more equipment and preparation - and mostly : a better make-up to start with.

Best regards.