Funniest Photograph NeverTaken

[sandy_sorlien]

I know there has been a thread like this before, but this is so good

we have to start a new one. I wish I'd had Elliott Erwitt along for

this scene. Yesterday I was jogging on a public path along Kelly

Drive and the Schuylkill River in Philadelphia, where runners,

cyclists, rowers, bladers, walkers, and drivers zoomed by in both

directions.

 

Suddenly a bright white baby butt caught my eye. Yes, a completely

naked baby was standing on a bench, his/her butt facing out for all to

see. His mom was dealing with his diaper situation. She seemed to be

fumbling around with the dirty diaper, putting it away or something,

as she held him upright on the bench. At the same time, about 15 feet

from them alongside the jogging/cycling path, was a Hasidic Jew in

long dark coat, beard and dark hat, staring at them. He had a boxer

dog on a leash and his dog was in the process of taking a dump on the

ground. The man held aloft a plastic poop bag.

 

A minute later I started talking to the guy and babbled, "Omigod that

was the funniest thing I ever saw, it looked like you were about to

offer her your dog poop bag" but he just smiled and nodded until I

realized he didn't speak a word of English. Except, he said in a heavy

accent, "Have a nice day."

 

Cheers,

Sandy

[alex_hawley]

Sitting by a pond fishing one day. There was a cow (female) grazing on the other side. The bull (male) came along and became interested in her. Just as he's making contact, the cow touches her nose to the electric fence, and BAMMM!! Bull is knocked on his can literally. His eyes go crossed, then start rolling around, shakes his head as he's sitting there on his haunches. Cow turns her head back towards him, smiles as if to say "not today big boy".

 

We were laughing for 45 minutes. Completely forgot about fishing. Even if I had a camera, I was shaking too hard from laughter to take a shot. Who says animals are dumb?!

[steve_feldman2]

Sandy,

 

Your sighting reminds me of two dog photos I've seen. Envision a large platter of steaming hotdogs. Behind the platter is a dog, gingerly stealing the top hot dog. His eyes are directly into the camera with a sheepish smirk to them. - Priceless.

 

The second photo was probably an ad. A street corner with a fire hydrant. The hydrant is spewing a stream of water - - on the back of a dog. The dog is looking back at the hydrant in disgust. I've always wanted to stage that one myself. No let's see, first to find a dog who can sneer on cue.

[walter_glover]

Sandy,

 

I didn't miss a particularly funny picture but someone else

missed an even funnier one of the same incident.

 

It was this easter Monday just passed. I was out and about

between clouds and showers shooting a few black & whites for

myself in the local neighbourhood. Returning home I pulled up at

a traffic light and noticed a truly gargantuan female posterior clad

in a black thong filling the window of an apartment in a building

beside me. It was really, really pink. It was really, really dimpled.

It was really realy huge. So much so that I was convinced it was

a very clever cushion put in the window to amuse the observant.

Added to this was the back of a somewhat diminutive woman

rising above it. The lights changed and I had to move, but I drove

around the block, parked and got out my camera and set-up.

From time to time the woman whose back I saw would reach

over for the next section of newspaper but the buttocks never

moved. Never flinched. Never so much as rocked. This further

convinced me that I was looking at a cushion placed on the

window sill behind a sofa upon which sat a woman.

 

I managed to shoot 2 negatives and was contemplating either

packing up or moving for another vantage point. Just then a

slight woman crossed the pedestrian crossing and asked with a

Spanish accent what I was doing. I pointed out the gag and we

both stood chuckling. Then, all of a sudden the woman on the

sofa stood up and the bum went with her. This ginormous

derriere was not a cushion but was in fact a real person. The

Spaniard and I both totally cracked up.

 

Now the person that missed the funny shot was the person who

missed getting a shot of me getting a shot of the rump. Would I

work with a Leica like HC-B? Would I work with a Nikon or

Canon? No. I had set-up a Sinar 8x10 with 450mm lens to get

my shot. Levelled the bubbles, got under the hood, the whole

routine - all without being noticed.

 

WG

[ken_miller4]

Walter, you *must* upload that photograph. You can't tease us with that image, and then now show us the image....

 

Cheers!

[ken_miller4]

...and then *not* show us the image.

 

Dork dork dork....

[walter_glover]

Ken,

 

I'd be glad to just as soon as I get someone to scan the 8x10

neg here without subjecting it to the torment of an oil bath.

 

Incidentally, I am in Sydney, Australia which is no small part of

the problem.

 

WG

[chris_jordan5]

Someone once asked Elliot Erwitt what his fantasy dog photograph would be, and he said it's a two-image sequence: 1: dog walking into a graveyard; 2: coming out with a bone.

 

Mine: You know those yellow "trust jesus" signs that certain people hang on the very top of telephone poles? okay, my fantasy photo is a setup scene of one of those trust jesus signs, hanging sideways from one nail, and under the pole is a collapsed ladder, and an ambulance, and a body with a sheet over its head.

 

~cj

[domenico_foschi]

Walter ,

You sgould have given the woman a print of the shot . She

would have found your subtle humor very charming .....

[jeffdyck]

A few years back I was sitting at a cafe. Across the street someone was changing the displays in the front window of a "lover's boutique". There was nothing particulary obscene in the window, but lots of brightly coloured underthings, latex and leather dressed mannequins, etc. As I was sitting there, a class of about a dozen kindergarten or daycare children and 2 adults came walking along the sidewalk, presumably on thier way to the local play ground. The kids were all "tethered" together, holding a length of heavy knotted rope (to keep them from wandering I guess). When the group passed the window, all the kids started to stare wide eyed, with mouths agape pointing fingers at the display. The teacher was literally playing tug-o-war to pull the kids along, but they were all still gaping back over thier shoulders even after they passed the window. I remember wishing I had my camera with me - the combination of all the bright colours in the display, the display's contents and the expressions of the kids had would have made an interesting picture!

[triblett_lungre_thurd]

ken, the proper spelling in 'swedish chef' is,

 

*'Bork bork bork'*