mark-j Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Dear fellow forum members: This is being written late at night while I am going through the pictures I have taken during the past three months. I am not looking for sypathy, but attempting to convey my thoughts and ramblings about what I am looking at. Tomorrow afternoon, I am burying my three month old son. I took numerous pictures of him, and cherish all of them. The last pictures I took of him, was during one evening, I decided to shoot a comparison of my 90's, so I shot an entire roll of him. Lots of different expressions, some good and others?. Do not throw out pictures because they are test shots of people, they may be the only ones you have. They are. Today I went to load a roll of Tri-x from the bulk loader, and I was out. I went to the nearest photo store (25 miles) and purchased the last two rolls of Tri-x they had in stock. I wanted some B&W shots of him in his casket and also of some of my other children holding him a last time. I wanted some of these in B&W, as I want to look at them in 30 years or so, and color will not hold up to this as well. Tomorrow, I am going to carry an M6 with a lens on it for those few special candids that I want. Probably an M6 with color print film and a 50 'cron on it. If I change my mind, there will be other gear in the car to choose from. It snowed today, so there B&W may work well for the outdoor shots, and I will have another body loaded for that purpose. I may look odd at my son's funeral carrying a camera, but I know what appeals to me, and I will shoot a few for my memories. This shot was taken with an M6 and 50 DR Summicron with flash. Thank-you for enduring my ramblings, it is a very sad night here in my house.<div></div> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin_baker___heidelberg_ Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Our thoughts are with you Mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul hart Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark: 10 years ago we buried our daughter who was with us for only 9 days, and your photo reminded me of one of the very few we have of her - I wish I had taken more of them and it's too late now. My sympathies are with you and yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ralph_barker Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Make what memories you can, Mark, and don't worry about looking odd with your camera. I'm sure that you, your family and Karl will be in all our thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_.1 Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 We talk a lot about gear on this forum, but we know that health and humanity are the most important things. I hope strength for you in this trying time, we are with you here at this spot on the net. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cd thacker Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 He was beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fotografz Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark, you have courage in your despair. It puts into perspective the pettiness of things we sometimes engage in here. My heart and tears go out to you and your family, and may your courage serve to strengthen those around you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juan_mateos Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 i´m with you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rich_frank Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark - My deepest sympathies. He is beautiful. May God Bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
art waldschmidt Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark, At times like this, it seems all words fall short of the thoughts and feelings one would wish to convey.....there is so much depth to the hurt, that it seems nothing could ever hope to address it . Having been where you are now, please know that I truly share in your grief and offer you and your family my deepest sympathy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karl_georg_wolf Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 What a sad occasion to photograph. I´am feeling with you, Mark. Having those photos is somehow like holding on to life and looking into the future is the best thing to overcome grief. My condolescens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travis1 Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 God bless you , Mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno_menilli Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark It is on occasions such as you describe that the true power of photographic images becomes all too apparent.I am writing this through tears and can say from 3 previous experiences that you never get over this type of thing, you only,perhaps, come to some uneasy and very fragile method of learning to live with the trauma. The photographs I have of my brother,wife and eldest son, in the morgue and in their coffins are not something I look at regularly,if at all but they are there as a record of their very existance in this world. Of course all the many other family photographs are looked at, but are still very painfull. I truly hope that you can accept that your son will always be with you,and that he is so grateful for all the love he must surely have been shown throughout his short but special life. May God grant you all, peace. Bruno Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheridan Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark. Words don't fully express the feelings I have for you and your family.For God's sake, don't worry about using the camera. Deepest sympathies ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randy_samos Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark - I'm so sorry for you and yours. Thank you for sharing your situation with us. And your advice on photos is absolutly right. I'm having a bit of trouble composning myself right now. Know that many of us are sharing your sad moment with you. Take care, and take your pictures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maureen_stretch Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark, You have my deepest sympathies. I couldn't agree with you more about taking pictures of those you love. Take care and keep taking pictures. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jay bee Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark - words cannot express the sympathy I feel for you and yours. May God help you through this trying time. My sincerest condolences, J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chip l. Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark, May you and your family find strength from God during this trying time. My prayers are with you all... Sincerist regards, Chip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lee_shively Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 You are in my prayers, Mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_durham Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark, Thank you for sharing this difficult moment. I will be holding my own children a little more closely because of it. Karl was a beautiful boy and no doubt a beautiful angel now as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awahlster Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Mark, in 1991 we had a beautiful little girl who was only with us for 3 days. In that time I was able to shot two rolls of film in between helping my wife and dealing with the unbelievable. Those photos are some of our most prized possesions. When you are able to start dealing with the results of this loss. May I suggest that you seek out a support group such as Compasiant Friends it is made up of loving people who have suffered the same type of loss and they helped my wife unbievably. She even went on to become one of the groups Facilitaters helping others. Your hospital should have info on groups like this. Don't try to handle it all on your own no one should have to be alone when dealing with such loss. If I can be of any help please feel free contact me direct I understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert_clark Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 How quickly joy can turn to sadness. My thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sal_ortega Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 In this weather, in this storm I would never have let the children go out. They carried them away and i could not protest. In this weather , in this wind I would never have let the children go out For fear they might fall ill, but these are idle thoughts. In this weather, in this horror I would never have let the children out. I would fear they might die tomorrow. This fear I have no longer. In this weather, in this wind, in this storm, They rest as if in their mother's house, Not frightened by any tempests, Protected by God's hand. Kindertotenlieder. Friedrich Ruckert/ Gustav Mahler.<div></div> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gary_brown2 Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 My prayers and thoughts are with you Mark. I've held dying children in my arms and it is the sadest thing in the world. Every photo of mine is a treasure. Don't ever hesitate to take a camera, its a statement that you have reverence for things passing as we all are and stand in awe of that. It's been strange for me that in reflecting on the trajedies of life that I often appreciate the beauties more. Gary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlee Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Thanks for sharing that Mark. My prayers will be with you during this trying time and the days to come. I lost my grandfather and closest friend two years ago and much to my latter display did not make the images I would like to have of his last graceful days here with our family. May you find some sense of comfort from the images you already have and will make tomorrow. God bless you and yours. Sincerely, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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