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Funerals & Memories


mark-j

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Dear fellow forum members:

 

This is being written late at night while I am going through the

pictures I have taken during the past three months. I am not

looking for sypathy, but attempting to convey my thoughts and

ramblings about what I am looking at.

 

Tomorrow afternoon, I am burying my three month old son. I took

numerous pictures of him, and cherish all of them. The last

pictures I took of him, was during one evening, I decided to shoot a

comparison of my 90's, so I shot an entire roll of him. Lots of

different expressions, some good and others?.

 

Do not throw out pictures because they are test shots of people,

they may be the only ones you have. They are. Today I went to load

a roll of Tri-x from the bulk loader, and I was out. I went to the

nearest photo store (25 miles) and purchased the last two rolls of

Tri-x they had in stock. I wanted some B&W shots of him in his

casket and also of some of my other children holding him a last

time. I wanted some of these in B&W, as I want to look at them in

30 years or so, and color will not hold up to this as well.

 

Tomorrow, I am going to carry an M6 with a lens on it for those few

special candids that I want. Probably an M6 with color print film

and a 50 'cron on it. If I change my mind, there will be other gear

in the car to choose from. It snowed today, so there B&W may work

well for the outdoor shots, and I will have another body loaded for

that purpose.

 

I may look odd at my son's funeral carrying a camera, but I know

what appeals to me, and I will shoot a few for my memories.

 

This shot was taken with an M6 and 50 DR Summicron with flash.

 

Thank-you for enduring my ramblings, it is a very sad night here in

my house.<div>004bMp-11574584.JPG.de7d3d4ea448d93aa68e80633ebfaa24.JPG</div>

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Mark, At times like this, it seems all words fall short of the thoughts and feelings one would wish to convey.....there is so much depth to the hurt, that it seems nothing could ever hope to address it . Having been where you are now, please know that I truly share in your grief and offer you and your family my deepest sympathy.
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Mark

 

It is on occasions such as you describe that the true power of photographic images becomes all too apparent.I am writing this through tears and can say from 3 previous experiences that you never get over this type of thing, you only,perhaps, come to some uneasy and very fragile method of learning to live with the trauma.

The photographs I have of my brother,wife and eldest son, in the morgue and in their coffins are not something I look at regularly,if at all but they are there as a record of their very existance in this world. Of course all the many other family photographs are looked at, but are still very painfull.

 

I truly hope that you can accept that your son will always be with you,and that he is so grateful

for all the love he must surely have been shown throughout his short but special life.

 

May God grant you all, peace.

 

 

Bruno

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Mark -

 

I'm so sorry for you and yours. Thank you for sharing your situation with us. And your advice on photos is absolutly right. I'm having a bit of trouble composning myself right now. Know that many of us are sharing your sad moment with you.

 

Take care, and take your pictures.

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Mark, in 1991 we had a beautiful little girl who was only with us for 3 days. In that time I was able to shot two rolls of film in between helping my wife and dealing with the unbelievable. Those photos are some of our most prized possesions. When you are able to start dealing with the results of this loss. May I suggest that you seek out a support group such as Compasiant Friends it is made up of loving people who have suffered the same type of loss and they helped my wife unbievably. She even went on to become one of the groups Facilitaters helping others. Your hospital should have info on groups like this. Don't try to handle it all on your own no one should have to be alone when dealing with such loss.

 

If I can be of any help please feel free contact me direct I understand.

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In this weather, in this storm I would never have let the children go out.

They carried them away and i could not protest.

In this weather , in this wind I would never have let the children go out

For fear they might fall ill, but these are idle thoughts.

In this weather, in this horror

I would never have let the children out. I would fear they might die tomorrow.

This fear I have no longer.

In this weather, in this wind, in this storm, They rest as if in their mother's

house,

Not frightened by any tempests, Protected by God's hand.

Kindertotenlieder. Friedrich Ruckert/ Gustav Mahler.<div>004bVU-11581084.jpg.5acf52706eb312aea40dafb5babff66d.jpg</div>

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My prayers and thoughts are with you Mark. I've held dying children in my arms and it is the sadest thing in the world. Every photo of mine is a treasure. Don't ever hesitate to take a camera, its a statement that you have reverence for things passing as we all are and stand in awe of that. It's been strange for me that in reflecting on the trajedies of life that I often appreciate the beauties more. Gary
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Thanks for sharing that Mark. My prayers will be with you during

this trying time and the days to come. I lost my grandfather and

closest friend two years ago and much to my latter display did

not make the images I would like to have of his last graceful

days here with our family. May you find some sense of comfort

from the images you already have and will make tomorrow. God

bless you and yours.

Sincerely,

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