Dissatisfied Bride & Blame Game!

[kit_b1]

<p>I've been shooting weddings for almost a decade. This is my first complaint for wedding photos and needless to say, I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. I am completely devastated and upset over this, as this is my first ever complaint. So I'll break down the story as clear and concise as possible:<br /><br />What I'm hoping to get out of all of this - is the question of whether or not the bride has a valid complaint, and if so, does this sound like something she could take me to court for and win?<br /><br /><strong>Pre-Wedding Discussions/Engagement Session:</strong><br>

I knew the bride through a friend. She insisted that she wanted to hire me for her wedding, and was a long time follower of my work/portfolio. I suggested to her that perhaps she should continue to research other photographers to get a feel for different styles and something that she is sure she likes. No. She insisted on hiring me because she loved my work. So I accepted.<br>

We met for the engagement shoot a year prior to the wedding. We decided on a location, and the photo session went as scheduled. Just prior to walking to the location, the bride proceeds to tell me that she and her fiancé have some "insecurities" about how they look (facial features mostly - even teeth!), and want me to avoid or try my best to prevent focusing on those details by avoiding certain angles. I told her I would do my very best, but I mentioned that my shots are very photojournalistic and natural, and I assured her that she would like what I produce based on what she has previously seen.<br /><br />They really enjoyed their session. We had fun, we laughed, but I couldn't help noticing that my client was very conscious of every move. I would repeatedly remind her to smile, several different kinds of smiles, cognizant of her insecurities, while at the same time, allowing the session to flow in whatever manner it was meant to. It went fairly well.<br /><br />After the session we sat down together and went over my contract. It is a very detailed contract that outlines both parties must be co-operative and cheerful, how the photographer is not responsible for key images not taken from failure to provide a shot list or designating a member of the family to gather family members together, a model release, and copyright literature. My contract says it takes 6-8 weeks for delivery, and that there are NO REFUNDS. I could go on further about how detailed it is, but this would take awhile.<br /><br />They agreed to the contract, I answered their questions, they signed, and off I went and edited their engagement photos.<br /><br />I provided several sneak peeks, and she LOVED them! However, when I delivered them, she complained. She complained there were too many closeups of her face, she didn't like the way she was smiling in a lot of them, and she also spoke on her husbands behalf on how I photographed him in an unflattering way. Never did I ever hear a complaint from him directly. She seemed to do all the talking and all the complaining. After some discussions, it ended up that she never said anything after that, she continued to pay her instalments, but made sure she mentioned "When you photograph my wedding, I don't want you photographing us this way, that way, etc". So I told her I would take into consideration her requests, and assured her that her photos would look wonderful.<br>

A week before the wedding we went over the itinerary, and we discussed where I fit in when it came to the formals. She wanted formal photographs of several members of her family. She advised that her family was quite large, and wanted portraits of aunts, uncles, cousins, family members from out of town, etc. I told her to provide a shot list. She told me she would give it to me the day of the wedding. She then told me I only had from 5:30-6:45pm to shoot the formals. I told her that it seemed a bit too short, and she said that's all the time they have. So I told her I would allot at least 20 mins for family photos, and then the rest would be bride and groom. I had no choice in the matter. This is the time I was given.<br>

<br /><br /><strong>The Wedding Day & Timelines<br /></strong><br />I was to put in a 12 hour day, along with my partner who was providing a photobooth who would be showing up later at the reception. I arrived on time, and proceeded to photograph the day as it unfolded. At times, the bride was clearly stressed out, and it showed. Certain situations aggravated her, and made it difficult for me to discern what the problem was. I knew it wasn't me, and it later became clear that it was certain members present in her environment that were making her feel this way. I had observed that she would panic a lot, and often wanted to "break for a smoke" while we were doing the photos of her getting ready. I politely explained to her that time wasn't on our side, and I wanted to get these photos done before I headed to the church. Needless to say, she breaked and went for a smoke anyway, despite my heeded warning.<br /><br />She had also made it a point to pull me aside and say, "Remember what I told you. I don't want any close up shots. I want full body shots, and none of me with all my teeth showing". I told her not to worry and to just allow me to do what I love best, and assured her that she looked lovely.<br /><br />It was a very sunny day at the wedding venue when it came time to shoot the ceremony, even at 5pm. No problem. I was able to provide clear and bright and well exposed shots in which I always edit in Lightroom and check for blown out highlights and color correction. <br>

After the ceremony came time to do the family photos. I felt like i was herding cattle. I proceeded to call out names from the shot list. Loud as I could. Nobody was listening. Eventually the bride shouted "Just forget about the shot list!!!", so I did. By that time, my partner had arrived, and was standing right next to me when she said it.<br /><br />The area that we chose to do the family photos, was near a display of beautiful shrubs, flowers and trees. But I wasn't fussy about the backlighting that came from just beyond them which created a lot of flare, and I decided on a whim to change spots, which meant all 20-30 people she had standing around for photographs had to walk with me 2 minutes across the way to a shadier spot with a pond as the backdrop, which I thought would be nice.<br /><br />The mother of the bride disappeared somewhere when we arrived at the second spot to shoot photos. People were standing around, still not listening. By the time the MOB came out, for photos, time was passing very quickly. By this time, I was in concentration mode, calling out groups of people very swiftly to get into their photos. I knew time was running out to continue on with the bride and groom shots.<br /><br />6:30 rolls around. I had just finished talking all the family photos to make sure I had them all, since she told me to forfeit the shot list, I wanted to make sure I had everything covered. What should have taken 20 minutes, ended up taking a full hour. At the same time however, I made it clear that we only now had 15 minutes for bridal photos, and we had previously discussed that I wanted at least 30-40 minutes. We were now limited to how many photos could be taken, in how many different spots. The wedding took place on a golf course, and we were not even allowed on the green. So, I chose a spot underneath some trees with beautiful backlighting. The sun was low enough at this point, that it worked in my favor.<br /><br />But boy oh boy did I feel rushed! The itinerary indicated that at 7pm they were going to be doing the introductions, so the bride decided to squeeze even more time and go outside of the alloted time I was given, and told me to keep shooting until 7pm. This stressed me even more, because all I could think about was, "this wasn't what we agreed on", and "we are going to have to rush back!". Needless to day, I rushed through the photos still. This was not going according to plan.<br /><br />So, I photographed the reception, the dancing, and the photobooth was set up, and busy, and not to mention, some unruly drunk individuals who couldn't stop coming behind the counter and try looking at what we were doing (printing, taking snapshots etc). I understand people get excited, but not to the point where you literally try to peek over and nearly knock down my strobe light, and the entire backdrop. I was mortified! There were even some guests who would take the props with them, and go sit at their seats. To me, this breaches, the "co-operation" and "respect for the photographers equipment" that I had outlined in my contract.<br /><br /><strong>Sneak peeks of the photos<br /></strong><br />I had sent my client some sneak peeks of the photos while they were on their honeymoon. The groom seemed to love them, and posted some on his Instagram, and the bride made one of them her FB profile pic. I thought she looked lovely in all of them, and I was very pleased with the result.<br /><br />Her? Not so much. Several weeks after the wedding, and after she returned from her honeymoon, she emailed me expressing how much she didn't like her smile, and "Why didn't I tell her to smile". Clearly I tell everyone to smile in their photos whenever I take them. It's a proven fact that not everyone feels photogenic and if someone has "insecurities" about themselves, they will try to mask them in certain ways. Her way of doing it was smiling with a closed mouth. She hated her teeth. The odd photo she smiled a bit bigger, but never laughed and again, was always conscious of how she looked. <br /><br />She then said that she was feeling "off" that day, and her mood had affected a lot of the ways she felt. She then proceeded to tell me that she "relied on me to tell her to smile, and she's pretty sure I didn't tell her to". Well, if that's the case, and I didn't tell ANYONE to smile, how come everyone else is smiling? Why do you need to be reminded to smile on the happiest day of your life?<br /><br />As a side note, to further emphasize that I don't feel her lack of smiling was my fault, I took a look at her online social media photos, and even some of her honeymoon photos. She smiles the SAME WAY in all of them. She is so self conscious that there is rarely a smile of hers showing a full tooth smile.<br /><br />She blamed it all on me. She critiqued every single last detail of every single sample I showed her. These were NOT proofs. I had fully edited them, using VSCO edits, which has always been a consistent style of editing I use and have used in the last couple of years.<br>

At the 6 week mark of my editing process, she called me and demanded to see more photos so she could chose a photo for the thank you card I would be designing. She hated every single photo I sent her but then a day or so later she would point out "Well, I like this one, and maybe this one too". She demanded to see more, and I advised her I was still in the editing process. I told her I still had 2 more weeks to edit and when I was done, I would deliver her photos.<br /><br />Without even delivering them yet, I am extremely nerve wracked over this, and completely distraught at how she could hate all of her photos when everyone else loves them. I want to say that I chaulk it up to her being very unreasonable, and the conduct that took place on her wedding day, but she blames me for how it all unfolded.<br /><br />If we want to talk about "who's guilty for anything" here, is the only thing I didn't do, is go to the venue to check it out before hand, and I told her I would. I got extremely busy with sessions, and couldn't find the time. She has used this against me and said that this was one of the biggest reasons why she felt I could have done a better job of her bridal photos.<br /><br />Yet, my argument is, the timelines were not adhered to, and I didn't receive full and cheerful co-operation from her side to get my job done.<br /><br />Can she take me to court for any of this? Does she have a case?<br /><br />I'm really worried that once she sees the rest of her photos that she won't leave me alone about it, and perhaps demand a refund. If she complains, I will offer her a solution by way of some free prints, and a free photo session and perhaps a small custom album. But that's it. I'm not giving her a cent back. It's in my contract. I'm not trying to sound heartless, as I am truly anxiety ridden over this, but I am also running a business, and she is not getting this done for free.<br /><br /><br /></p>

[nishnishant]

<p>I am not qualified enough to answer you, I am sure others here will. But I thought I'd double check with you that you've not used your real name here? If you did, I'd recommend changing it right away. </p>

[kit_b1]

<p>Oh not at all. This isn't my real name. Thanks for the response!</p>

[BrianS1664879711]

In a decade of wedding shooting this is your first

tough customer? You've been extremely lucky! I

hope your contract or advertising materials don't

say "satisfaction guaranteed "

[david_schilling___chicago_]

<p>It's not unusual for a bride to have a fantasy in her mind as to what the photos will look like that may not relate to reality....managing expectations can be difficult but comes with the job.</p>

<p>Couple of "red flags" for me. You state you have been shooting weddings for a decade...does this mean a half dozen weddings, more than 100, worked/apprenticed with a couple of successful studios before striking out on your own? You're also complaining that you only had one hour and fifteen minutes for formals? 20 - 30 minutes is very common.</p>

<p>Part of the answer regarding the photos that the bride doesn't like is no problem, she doesn't have to take them or use them.....offer to trash bin them at no additional charge. Does she have a court case? Anyone can press the court and make a case but the costs tend to be prohibitive. I had a groom who fancied himself as an artist who voiced disappointment that he thought my work would be more "artful". I was very proud of the photos and was comfortable with him showing them to others. I offered my apologies that he and his bride were disappointed....but I was comfortable with my product. After working/training with 3-4 studios and shooting more than 300 weddings over the course of 10 years, that level of comfort comes fairly easy. Best wishes.</p>

[kit_b1]

<p>@David Shilling,<br>

I'd say in the 10 years I've been photographing weddings, I've done at least 70 on my own. Prior to that I was assisting weddings, and did a 2 year photography program in college.<br>

20-30 mins I had alloted for FAMILY only. The rest of the time I wanted to use with just the bride and groom. </p>

[kit_b1]

<p>Might I also add, I'm not complaining about hour and a half I had for photos, but the time I had alotted for family, and then for bridal photos didn't pan out because it ended up taking a full hour for family photos themselves since she wanted so many of her family members photographed and not all of them were present, or co-operating or even listening to me when I asked them to all gather for the photograph. I had to repeat myself several times.</p>

[savagesax]

When people are worried about their faces and want family photo's I think the best thing to do would be to do a lot

of full length shots and just a few close-ups. Crop later, change to black and white.

 

So before giving them ALL of the photo's maybe edit carefully. They may not say anything and be really happy with

your work.

[michaelmowery]

<p>70 weddings in 10 years is less than part time so your about due for a complaint. Most pros shoot 70-100 weddings per year, thats a big difference. If I don't work a month I can get rusty on the next job. Just like any other job the more you work the better you get and the more experience you gain. It is important to listen to your clients and do exactly what they want. Granted there are a few that come along that are completely unreasonable and crazy. I am not saying you did anything wrong. I am just saying after 70 weddings you are due for a complaint. Learn from it and move on.</p>

[kit_b1]

<p>Thank you for your responses.<br>

As for the number of weddings I've done, I only take sometimes 2 per month. I only take a limited amount per year, as I do other photography as well, and in addition, I have a full time job. I know several professional photographers that hold day jobs and do wedding photography or any photography on the side, and my portfolio is definitely consistent with the photos that I took at this said wedding.<br>

So due for a complaint? Not necessarily, unless its warranted. But perhaps yes, because I realize not everyone is going to like their wedding photos, but THEY SHOULD, and my track record has been fairly good in my clients being very happy and satisfied, nor have I ever ran into a client who was insecure like this. I think I should have screened her out more ahead of time to be honest. I truly didn't see it coming.</p>

[david_schilling___chicago_]

<p>Wondering, what is a two year photography program in college? "They should" all in caps? Shoulda, coulda, woulda won't help you to become a better wedding photographer. Managing expectations comes with the job and it's not a matter of right/wrong or fair/unfair. Suggest that you include the bride in the culling process and get her to be part of the team.....give her more responsibility/accountability. This can be a very productive learning experience. Best wishes.</p>

[john_h.1]

<p>The issue is whether the performance of the obligations was satisfactorily discharged or justifiably excused if not. Then if there is evidence to back it up. It sounds like that is the case with maybe some issue about doing close ups at best. <br /><br />In any industry one will encounter obsessive fussy customers. Wedding photography is particularly vulnerable to this with people with elevated self conscious concern about their appearance. Now you're obsessing about your own portrayal and writing long chronicles about it. Being "extremely nerve wracked over this, and completely distraught" and "truly anxiety ridden" <br /><br />Get a grip and chill out. Let the bride live in drama instead. If she makes a claim (Which is very unlikely. You have been getting payments) you just defend it methodically. You got a slew of evidence including her admission that 'she was feeling "off" that day, and her mood had affected a lot'. You've got this thing. You just have a whack job of a client. It happens. Don't sweat it. Treat this for what it is, a business issue, not a personal one. The one with the bigger problem in the future is the groom. <br /><br />Screening more thoroughly for appearance obsessed clients in the future will help avoid these situations. Not everyone who is self conscious is a bad client but, given your own insecurities, they may be more unsuitable the usual for you.</p>

[William Michael]

<p>I think it is important to be passionate about one's work: but equally important it is to separate one's personal emotions from business choices and procedures, including complaint handling procedures.</p>

<p>I concur with John, you should put your business hat on and deal with any complaints in a logical and business-like manner. </p>

<p>This is not a personal attack on you or your work and until you remove yourself from that viewpoint your business will continue to be compromised and you run the risk of your emotions dictating and initiating poor business choices. </p>

<p>WW</p>

[Member69643]

<p>In my brief career as a wedding photographer I had few complaints. Anything that was unpleasant was usually due to the terms and conditions created by the bride, as you encountered. Guys are pretty cool with the whole thing. It is hard to separate emotions from fact. It's natural and very human to take things like this personally, especially when you feel bound by a bride-cast geas.</p>

<p>I'd stress to her that she set the rules you worked by. The fault lies not in our stars (or photographers) but in ourselves.</p>

[ed_farmer]

<p>Yeah . . . I agree that you need to calm down. Not just right now, but it would have helped on the wedding day as well . . .<br>

A few comments: <br>

I would NEVER tell a bride that I will check out her location before the wedding day. If you are properly experienced, it's not needed and if you are not, you can go check it out without telling her. <br>

Also, I am guessing, but she only needs 60 to 100 images from entire wedding that she is happy with. Nobody produces 800 images that everyone, photographer, bride, groom, family, will be happy with. Remind her that if you did the same thing on every image, there would be no selection for her to make. Every image will look the same and that while she might happiest with the pictures without a huge smile, her mother and her husband might like those better. <br>

The time allotted for formals is always problematic when everything is at one location. There is little time between the ceremony and reception and this gets sucked by other things. You rarely get the time that you want, much less the time that you were promised but you still have to get the shots. That's just part of the job. It involves knowing how to deal with people, knowing your shots and making fast decisions. It's about experience and I can remember getting flustered quite a few times at the start of my career. You can't show it. You need to be the one in control. You need to be in charge. I don't mean that in a nasty way. It's just the way it is.<br>

Having said all of that . . . There's always going to be a customer who ends up less than happy. I have had it happen where I find out later that the bride who was "unhappy" with my work, had budgeted $15,000 for wedding. Expanded that to $22,000 in the months before and ended up spending $28,000 by the time she was finished. After the wedding, the DJ and caterer didn't want to hear from her but she still had to deal with the videography and me. We took the brunt of her inability to stay within her budget. <br /><br />This is all part of the wedding business. It's just as important as f-stops and ISO. It's just a little more painful to learn . . . </p>

 

[weareonewedding]

<p>This is a tough one. We unfortunately had a couple of complaints for the video side of thing this year and there is no right answer. </p>

<p>Our couples complained that their short video was only 5-7 minutes long, we must have told them 10 times the length of the video...</p>

<p>The problem is that no matter whether you are right or wrong you will never get a referral from them. Whether you can win them around by doing something else is a huge question. </p>

[anne_schwarz]

<p>I think most wedding photographers have experienced what you are going through right now, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't suck. IMHO we all try very hard to produce the best possible photos when we shoot weddings, but it happens occasionally that despite our best efforts someone isn't happy. It's a constant learning curve and it doesn't really matter how many weddings you shoot a year. Granted, the more experience you have shooting weddings, the better you get at dealing with stressful situations and bad light but from how you describe it, you acted nothing but professional so I would try not to worry too much about the bride taking you to court. (I'm not a lawyer, but "I don't like my teeth in my wedding photos" probably won't persuade anyone to award any form of damages to the bride, besides, you have a signed contract and provided the service agreed upon.)<br>

What I have learned from a similar situation is this:<br>

COVER YOUR A**! (which you did)<br>

- have a contract which clearly states that the bride and groom grant YOU creative and artistic license in relation to locations and poses used, photographic style and number of photographs taken and that you'll do your best to honour requested photographs but DO NOT undertake to guarantee any specific picture, background, location, or group arrangement.<br>

That way, if things are running late, if the schedule is very tight, people don't rock up for group photos and delay everything etc, you're covered. <br>

- say it out loud! (which you definitely did). From my experience, if the bride and groom suddenly decide they don't have time for all the photos on their shot list or if there simply IS NO TIME to honour all the requested photographs, make sure you have a witness (bridesmaid, usher, parents) within earshot and then have a nice but clear chat with the client about the issue. Make sure they understand (and remember later) that you tried to get those missing photos done but it was THEM who decided not to do them. Don't just talk to the bride, get them both together and then let them know your thoughts. And a little trick I learned over the years: instead of launching into a lenghty speech about timelines just say "There won't be another opportunity to do these photos and I want to make sure there is no disappointment later but ultimately IT IS YOUR CHOICE. What do you want to do?"<br>

- never, ever include any form of 'satisfaction guarantee' in your contract. <br>

- most importantly: if someone wants to hire you and you do an engagement shoot and it turns out that the client does not like the photos because of their own insecurities: WALK AWAY. You'll save yourself a lot of grief. </p>

<p>When you send them photos to the bride, try not to take it personally if she doesn't like them. I know it's hard and an unhappy client can cause a lot of anxiety but if her photos are of the same quality and style like the ones in your portfolio I guess all you can really say is that you are sorry to hear that she doesn't like her smile in the pictures but you hope that the many lovely pictures of her guests and husband and all the precious moments you captured make up for it. I'd also gently remind her that there were issues with the schedule and they decided to forego the shot list. Also, don't offer any refund to 'compensate' as there is nothing to compensate for. If you want to be nice offer her a 10% discount on future album purchases and a free print as a little sweetener.... Besides, her family and friends are probably going to tell her how great the photos are, which might put things in perspective for her as well. And the worst that can happen is that she doesn't recommend you. Hey ho. </p>

<p> </p>

[maria_francesca]

<p>Yeah, I hear you.<br>

I don't know where all the complaints are coming from, but I would imagine that you are getting flack for other more serious problems than the photo sets.<br>

Anyways, you can please some of the people all of the time, and almost all of the people some of the time and then there are a few ....</p>

<p>Maria</p>