Formal Portraits with Remarried Mothers

[paul_schneider4]

<p>I have my first wedding coming up at the end of the month. The groom comes from a family were his father is remarried and the ex-wife will also be at the wedding. What is the best way to handle the formal portraits?</p>

[bobcossar]

<p>You discuss it beforehand with the people involved, and come up with a solution for everyone. You do not leave it till "later".</p>

[picturesque]

<p>I agree with Robert, however, if, for some reason, you don't get the bride and groom's preferences on the matter, I would attempt to photograph the groom (alone) with his biological mother and father (on either side of him) and also photograph the bride and groom with his biological mother and father (again on either side of them).</p>

<p>Depending upon how involved the groom's step mother was in his upbringing, I would also photograph the groom and then the bride and groom, with his father and step-mother. I might photograph both the groom's mother and step-mother alone with the groom (separately), if the step-mother was key in the groom's upbringing.</p>

<p>As for immediate family groups--you might find out which of the groom's siblings belong to which parents. This is where it gets tricky to keep organized, and where it is really important to ask the couple/groom who they want in the groups.</p>

<p>A key piece of information is whether the relationship between the groom's biological mother and father is easy or difficult. Sometimes they aren't speaking to each other, or won't be in the same room with each other. Sometimes the ex wife, father and step-mother are very friendly.</p>

<p>Or, if you tend to de-emphasize rigid family groups, you can just photograph his side and her side and call the formals done, but best to find out what the couple wants and/or expects, and then deliver.</p>

<p>During the actual photo sessions, simply ask for people by relationship or name, the latter being preferable. Don't ask the bride or groom who they want in what group, as this will cause embarassment among all involved. That should have been done and figured out earlier.</p>

[daverhaas]

<p>I've had this happen a few times - Some times the families are okay with taking photos with the ex'es - others not. Some couples don't want the "step" in the formal photos - others want them in all photos.</p>

<p>Best thing is to find out before hand and the plan photos around their perferences.</p>

<p>Dave</p>

 

[marc_henry1]

<p>Paul,<br>

It is one of those things that you can't decide - there may be lots of complicated history or they may all get along fine. Ask upfront and get a written shot list. I would normally write up a shot list with the bride and groom when I meet them beforehand and then email it over for them to add to. This doesn't need to be done in a hurry so gives them plenty of time to think through their list plus they can add useful details like extended family members names. This makes it easier to pick people out of the crowd and its a little more personal.<br>

Hope it goes well,<br>

Marc</p>

 

[ted_suss]

<p>As the others have said, discuss this ahead of time. It's really in everyone's best interest to photograph as many possible combinations as possible. This give them lots of choices and hopefully lots of sales for you. The one combination you should avoid (unless it's requested) is having the mother and stepmother in the same photo.</p>

[joshroot]

<blockquote>

<p>The one combination you should avoid (unless it's requested) is having the mother and stepmother in the same photo.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>There isn't any "one combination you should avoid" because every family is different. Mother and stepmother in the same photo might be a complete nightmare for one family and not a bother for another. Father/stepfather, siblings, etc.</p>

<p>As others have said, be straightforward about this with your clients and discuss it well beforehand.</p>