Advice for Couples who decide to let a family friend take their Wedding photos

[rob_wall]

<p>There's always a possibility that this is a negotiating ploy designed to elicit a reduced rate, etc. I would lean into it, i.e., tell her oh that's great, how intimate to have a friend doing it, I'd be happy to talk to him or her on the phone for ten minutes and run through some do's and don'ts. That way, if they are trying to chisel you, they realize they are never going to get anywhere, and they also realize what a nice person you are.</p>

[fotografz]

<p>Were it me I'd just let it go. Doesn't matter how passionate you may be about their wedding photography ... if they aren't passionate about it then it's a tough sell. If they don't have the money for a pro, even hinting at getting sub-par photography does nothing other than make them feel badly. Heck, I feel badly that I can't afford a Bentley convertible, so I don't need someone telling me how sub par my 5 year old car is ... LOL! </p>

<p>In general, my experience is that most bargain shoppers either flat-out do not have the money but didn't have a clue how much a pro was in the first place until they started looking for a wedding photographer ... or DO have the money, but consider their wedding a party and themselves as the hosts, so prioritize other wedding purchases above their photography ... like a full premium bar and stuff like that.</p>

<p>Many clients simply do not have a clue what is required to pull off successful wedding photography ... and frankly, why would they? I recall a client sitting next to me at the computer looking through all her shots as I selected some for retouching and general processing and her saying "I had no idea how much work this was."</p>

<p>As to having a family member shoot a wedding, in my family it's me : -) </p>

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[rt_jones]

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<p>I'm 'torn' because I have a genuine concern for those who rely on non-professionals to photograph their Wedding,</p>

 

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<p>No offense but I think you place too much importance on what you do. If you truly cared you'd do it for free, but that's not going to happen so your concerns are misplaced.</p>

<p>Most couples that chose these friends/photographers to do their wedding have good reasons for it and their expectations are commensurate with that choice. The fact you don't like it is your problem, not theirs.</p>

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[kiva]

<p>If there family history is such that wedding photography was Unimportant then it will most likely be Unimportant for their wedding too.</p>

<p>The "value" of wedding photography is emotional and familial and spiritual to some because it's a valued tradition. </p>

<p>I have no problem attempting to promote a "value" such as wedding photography. It's not of instant value as much as it is a family value; and, these photographs can be a very important "thing" in times of stress and angst.</p>

<p>It's ok to place value on wedding photography: whether it's emotional or monetary. It does have value, imo. It has tremendous value that can span generations and create a family glue and tradition: <strong>that's not merely Interesting but I'd suggest it's Important.</strong></p>

[steve m smith]

<p>When you look through your grandparents or your parents photo albums (general, not wedding) do you marvel at the sharpness of the images or the clever use of fill flash or the artistic compositions?</p>

<p>No. These are secondary to the actual content which can re-ignite emotions and bring back memories. I'm not saying that the technical and artistic stuff isn't important but it's certainly not the most important thing.</p>

[cathy_and_david_bock]

<p>Not worth your time. Move on. If they don't care enough to hire a professional they aren't worth trying to convince to hire you, in face you don't want them to hire you because they won't appreciate your work. :)<br>

Stick to spending time with the clients who want what you do, not just people wanting a deal. :D</p>

[greg_c.]

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<p>Greetings fellow photographers. I've been reading this forum lately and think its great. Today I signed on with photonet to respond to this topic since I want to make a point that I haven't seen before.<br>

I am an amateur family photographer who has been successfully photographing weddings for years. While pro wedding photographers are great and should always be respected they are not for everyone. By necessity they can take the wedding participants out of the moment simply by their presence. What I think I mean is that pros are contracted to photograph the wedding day as perfectly as possible and that can be demanding work.<br>

If the bride wants a photo shoot as part of her day, great. I only get requests from those who don't. So far my amateur, non-contractual status hasn't prevented me from presenting thousands of beautiful wedding photographs as gifts to those family members who bypass the pros and request that I photograph them on their wedding day.</p>

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[jay_66]

<p>I'm retired now but did a share of weddings after I came back from Vietnam after working for UPI as a combat photog. This was back in the late 70s--and I still get requests to "come out of retirement" and do <em>just this one</em> wedding, please.</p>

<p>Not to sound like a broken record, but you wish the happy couple well and move on. If they are set on Uncle Elmo or Aunt Blabby doing their wedding, fine, they don't need you. I would not even use it as a negotiating starting point. No matter what you do, they will never be satisfied. Cut them loose, you don't need the inevitable aggravation! Move on to a couple that will appreciate your professionalism.</p>

[ianivey]

<p>@Jim Ducey: or this: <a href="

<p>"We are hot chicks with big cameras. We don't need talent." </p>

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[lee_richards2]

<p>Rob Domaschuk had a good take on it. I am for leaving the B&G thinking I am the coolest and nicest photographer ever and refer me to a friend. I would also offer to do the "formals" that the bride "knows" will be to difficult for the amateur because they don't have the equipment.</p>

<p>Another thought is that this amateur may be a bang-up photographer. The B&G may get some pretty fabulous pictures. I did a wedding recently for a friend who asked me if another friend could take some pictures too. I would normally say no but this was a friend so...whatever. I saw the pictures that this amateur took and they were wonderful. In fact, I asked him to second for me in the future. This may have been his second wedding but he had all the bases covered and did a great job. </p>

<p>There is a subtle distinction that must wedding photographers, at least starting out, forget. What we do for art is take wonderful and thoughful wedding pictures. What we do for a living is SELL wedding photography. We may not think of ourselves as salespeople but we are. Whether we are presenting a great portfolio or discussing the options we are selling. If we fail to convey the value of our service to the customer they will not buy or they will buy from someone else. You got an objection and you need to know how to handle it. This is a sales technique. If you don't know how to show value in your service sufficiently well to excite the customer they will in all likliehood not buy. I can't tell you why people buy but I can tell you why they don't buy: Either they are not aware of their problem or opportunity or they are not sufficiently excited by it. </p>

<p>My salesmanship gets me more gigs than my ability to take pictures does. Pure and simple. </p>