What's your way to tell the family to stop taking pictures?

[kevin_hengler]

<p>Obviously there are going to be a million people at each wedding who have a camera and want to get their pics. That is great but when it becomes a distraction I have to remind them I am the one the bride and groom are paying to be here. I am wondering if you have a better way of saying it or if there is a better approach to the situation. Thanks<br>

Kevin</p>

 

[rayt]

<p>Ask them to stop until you are finished using your most polite voice and tone.</p>

<p>I always let them take pictures, but only after I have taken mine. Asking generally works well. If that does not work put the big strobes on optical slave and let the lights bork their exposures. Biggest problem is the people stand in front of my lights casting shadows.</p>

[william-porter]

<p>Kevin,</p>

<p>At what point are you running into difficulties?</p>

<p>This isn't hard during the formals. You simply HAVE to take charge. I use a tactic I learned (if memory serves) years ago from someone here: While standing next to my tripod, I announce to the family and friends who are usually standing about in the pews, that I need them to hold their fire while I take the first shots of each grouping, and that after I've taken my couple of shots, I'll let them shoot for a second. This works fine.</p>

<p>As for the rest of the day, well, life is tough. Working with a good wedding coordinator is a huge help. The coordinator, knowing that it's important for me to get a good position, will make sure I know five minutes in advance of any announcement what's happening next, so I can get there first and take a prime spot without having to shove my way through a crowd. </p>

<p>And the more I do this, the more I realize that it's important to be able to assert yourself gently, non-confrontationally but firmly. You have to look and act like your the hired pro, not a guest.</p>

<p>And then occasionally there's very little you can do. I photographed a First Communion recently for a church. There were many photo moments during the church service, so I was working throughout the service (a Catholic Mass). And while I try very hard to be invisible, of course I'm not. It should have been quite evident that I was there as a hired photographer. When the moment came where the young people were to come up and receive their First Communion, I took up a position that gave me a good shot but wasn't intrusive. I stayed there and shot child after child. At one point, a mother walked up and placed herself directly between me and the priest—ruining several shots for me. There was nothing I could do but try to shoot around her as well as possible. </p>

<p>Will</p>

[michaelchadwickphotography]

<p>Preemptive troubleshooting. If you are getting ready to pose your formals and a slew of paparazzi line up behind you, that's the time to turn around and let them know you will let them all come in and shoot if time allows, and AFTER you. </p>

<p>I have yet to have anyone take that in a negative way, and if you can be positive when you say it, and even call them the paparazzi, they tend to take it humorously and they then tend to cooperate. </p>

[picturesque]

<p>Do some searches--this question gets asked a lot. You can't really stop people from taking pictures, you just have to control when they take them. My tactic for formals is to pretty much do as William Porter described. Tell people they must wait until I've gotten my shot, then they can take theirs. Usually it works well, but every so often, you will get a challenging person who refuses to follow the rules. Then, you have to nicely but firmly stop everything and direct your comments (with a smile) to the person, making sure the couple also hears the conversation. Most of the time, the couple will tell that person to stop, if they still continue to ignore you.</p>

<p>I move things along quickly, and don't relinquish my prime spots. If you don't do these things, you will find a build up of people in the aisle, making things more difficult, and people will actually start posing the subjects on their own. One thing you never totally get control of is having all of the subjects' eyes on you and your camera. As long as there are people around you with cameras, you will have the possibility of shifting eyes. You just have to look out for this. It would take too long and create too much resentment to totally clear the area around you every time. Tripods are out of favor now, but using one helps you spot shifting eyes since your head isn't constantly behind the camera.</p>

<p>I ban other photographers from my 'romantics' session with the couple, and as for other times, such as the cake cutting, you just have to firmly stake out your position and if you have to move around, do it, even if it blocks someone else's view. I generally try to apologize to the person, and you will get a few people who will be angry at you, but that is unavoidable at times.</p>

<p>Whenever you need to control situations, do so in a nice, but firm manner. A canned line or two would not work, because you have to put it in your own way--it has to come from within yourself or it won't sound honest.</p>

[joseph_brown7]

<p>I usally ask politly that all photos be taken after mine. If that does not work I will simply stop shooting and bring my camera down to my side. The bride will usually yell at everyone to stop at this point.</p>

[kevin_hengler]

<p>Thanks for the good info. I like the humor of calling them paparazzi, I know that will work well. The only reason I was asking was I had a little bit of an unruly group this past weekend and I tried every trick I knew and it just didn't seem to work how I wanted. Those tips are good though, and I appreciate it.</p>

[picturesque]

<p>What steps did you take that didn't work, Kevin?</p>

[savagesax]

This is an easy one. Walk up to the bride and groom and let them know it is their wedding and you are very concerned with all of the people taking shots, because the couple may blink their eyes resulting in bad photos with lots of closed eyes. Works every time. When the bride asks the people to stop, the people stop!

 

This is for the formals, the rest of the time I welcome other people to take their snap shots. Have you ever noticed people with cameras often bend their knees, stick out their butts, and look like fools. Sometimes I actually photograph them. The couple usually laughs at some of the poses I get.

 

Hope this helps.

[juanita_ramirez]

<p>I only bother with telling them to stop shooting if 1)they are getting in the way--between me and the subject or obstructing my movement or 2)they are making it so that guests are looking at the wrong camera. If people are getting in the way or making them look at the wrong camera, I'll just yell out that the subjects need to focus only on me. I generally don't ask guests to stop shooting unless they're actually in my way.</p>

<p>If they are merely annoying you but not materially disrupting your ability to shoot, then learn to ignore them. The event is about the bride and groom, their families, and the guests. Get great photos, but only pull rank if you actually need to do so. I try to be pretty thick-skinned and avoid making a scene unless it's actually necessary. Part of why I make a good hourly wage as a photographer is because I'm both 1)skilled in photography and 2)able to skillfully put up with guests garbage.</p>

<p>That said, if anyone tries to art direct, asks the subject to look at their camera, or otherwise materially interferes with my shooting...they can expect to get an earful.</p>

[kevin_hengler]

<p>It was mostly just one lady in particular that was driving me mad. Although the crowd was rambunctious I was able to get the formals I wanted, it just took more effort than normal and was wondering what kind of tricks you all used. The lady was nonstop judging my shots rudely (you aren't going to shoot here are you? That isn't going to look very good...etc) Then when she was in the shots she wouldn't stop talking. I had to bite my tongue which made it more difficult because I wanted to direct her but it wouldn't of been in a very appropriate manner. : ) </p>

[juanita_ramirez]

<p>In that situation I would pull-rank no question. Tell them the bride and groom paid for my artistic vision, and that it's not appropriate for her to call the shots.</p>

<p>Caveat: if obnoxious lady is MOB or maybe MOG I might not do that. If obnoxious lady is an aunt, I'll firmly tell her that she is making is so that the bride and groom are not getting good shots and that she is wasting their time and money on their wedding day. If it escalates, I'll find the MOB or someone else with whom I have a good relationship and tell them to take care of the problem.</p>

<p>I usually have shot the bride and groom once before the wedding event itself, and so generally the parents are very very supportive of me and know how great I am. In a situation like that I can ask the parents to go to bat for me. Odds are they think the aunt is obnoxious, too.</p>

[eric merrill]

<p>I announce at the beginning that I'll take my shots. I'll take a few. And then I'll step out of everybody's way so they can take shots. That way, I'll get everybody looking at my camera, and the guests will get everybody looking at theirs, instead of all of us having partial attention.</p>

<p>I've never had a problem with a guest ignoring that.</p>

<p>I usually deal with hecklers in an upbeat, humorous manner. "Why, yes I am going to shoot here. Of course it won't look good. That's what Photoshop is for. Why, you won't even recognize these people when I get done." I haven't had very many grumpy people who want to comment on my shots. I have even fewer after that, and usually have a more relaxed group, to boot. In fact, I should start hiring shills to heckle. :)</p>

<p>I wouldn't suggest trying to pull rank as in, "I'm being paid the big bucks, so the rest of you dear friends who are close enough to invite and family members that will be around forever can just kiss my ass." That seems like a bad idea to me. It's about letting people know that if they cooperate, they'll get better shots, too, and the entire process can be fun and go faster. Ya can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, ya know.</p>

<p>Eric</p>

[juanita_ramirez]

<p>Eric,</p>

<p>I agree on the honey/vinegar deal, but I think this might actually be a male/female problem. This isn't a comment on anyone specifically, but I think that Aunt Mae is more likely to pick on a female photographer who she feels she can intimidate than a male one who she feels she cannot. </p>

<p>As such, I might be a little more willing than you to be unpleasant with obnoxious aunt. I'll be sweet at first, but after 10 minutes of me being sweet, you're going to get an earful. It's a balancing act. You need to know your clients well enough to know how you should deal with it. You have to feel it out in every situation. I always try to negotiate first, but I am not afraid to pull-rank. The bride and groom paid a lot so that someone would get them good photos, and I'm determined to do that.</p>

<p>You'll find that the most expensive photographers put up with almost no garbage. Now they're more well-known, and can afford to be primadonnas more than I can, but I'm not going to let a know-nothing distant relative run the show. I would handle closer/more important relatives more carefully.</p>

[picturesque]

<p>In your case, Kevin, I'd just ignore the rude comments. And I'd do something humorous to stop the talking. Maybe run a mini relaxation session (getting them to shake their arms like a pre-run exercise) in a humorous way, meaning everyone has to stop talking and pay attention. For people who are "unconscious talkers"--they are nervous so they talk--I actually say, "No talking, just smiling", but nicely--and it usually works.</p>

[William Michael]

<p><strong><em>“It was mostly just one lady in particular that was driving me mad. The lady was nonstop judging my shots rudely (you aren't going to shoot here are you? That isn't going to look very good...etc)”</em></strong></p>

<p>In this case, (and I have had this case – though not at a Wedding), I would likely tell the Lady that her actions were way out of line and describe where the line is drawn. It is important to address, describe and declare the <em>actions </em>out of line.</p>

<p><strong><em>“Then when she was in the shots she wouldn't stop talking. I had to bite my tongue which made it more difficult because I wanted to direct her but it wouldn't of been in a very appropriate manner.”</em></strong><br>

<strong><em> </em></strong><br>

In this case, Humour and subtly making her the butt of the Humour considering the preceding would most likely be my first thought.</p>

<p>***</p>

<p>The Bottom Line - <strong><em>if she doesn't take the hint: : :</em></strong></p>

<p>There is a clear cut line between keeping a polite and flexible attitude to Guest’s peculiarities and idiosyncratic mannerism and accepting or not accepting actions and words <strong><em>which interferes with and disrupts the tone of a shoot and the people being Photographed. </em></strong></p>

<p>Judging on the statements presented and the implication that you were charged with getting formal and posed photos – I take the attitude that I get up and go to work to do the bets job possible and I expect a cutesy of the Congreagtion to allow me to do that.</p>

<p>If anyone <em><strong>blatantly continued </strong></em>to made statements such as <em>“you aren't going to shoot here are you? That isn't going to look very good”</em> <em><strong>and they did not respond to a polite request to understand there is a line over which they were stepping</strong></em>, and those action or words were disrupting the shoot or taking up valuable time or distracting the Main Wedding Party or upsetting or causing doubt or dismantling the rapport I had established, then they would dismissed and put back in their box, quick smart. <br>

</p>

<p>I am hired to do a job and the B&G had already made that decision – I am on the clock and my clock is charging the B&G hard earned money so she can turn her’s off and shape up for some nice Photos – it is as simple as that.</p>

<p><br />WW</p>

[kevin_hengler]

<p>Awesome advice all. I appreciate it!! Even hearing other people's way of doing things turns on some lights I just didn't think of. The way I have been doing it hasn't been wrong, there are just more ways than my own that will work in that particular situation. Thanks</p>

[er1]

<p>This is a point I always discuss with the bride and groom prior to shooting their wedding. I have never experienced a problem at weddings by being polite and informing the guests that once I take the photos, that the bride has requested me to take, then family and friends are free to take their own pics. Generally the bride sets the tone and on occasion has even asked me to help her set the pace with family members. </p>

[cathy_and_david_bock]

<p>Let the family members go first, then get your shot. :) Be confident, big voice and command the crowds attention.</p>

[jay_66]

<p>Take charge and speak authoritatively. I took no prisoners. I shot a bunch of weddings after I returned from Vietnam after working for UPI. After going through that, a wedding is a piece of cake. I am well over 6' tall and rarely does anyone give me grief. Be polite, of course. Let Aunt Alice and Uncle George take their snaps first, then you move in and take command of the scene, but do so without being pushy or obnoxious. I am a very confrontational person but you must tone it down; you don't want to ruin things for the happy couple, even though they'll probably be divorced within 5 years. (Sorry, I'm very jaded.)</p>

[robert_k1]

<p>I'm not a wedding photographer, and only shoot their big dates when family members or friends ask me to. A daughter of a life long friend's wedding is coming up this summer, and she asked me to shoot some informals. I had the good sense to tell her to check with her pros first to see if that would be ok with them. I cautioned her that some pros can be bent out of shape when amateurs intrude onto their turf.</p>

<p>All the advices given here are about handling "intrusions" when they happen. Not a single one about heading it off before they happen. Would it not make sense to proactively tell the clients when you discuss the contracts how you expect the amateurs to behave? With some agreements in place, "intrusions" can either be prevented, or handled much easier when they happen.</p>

[William Michael]

<p><strong><em>“Would it not make sense to proactively tell the clients when you discuss the contracts how you expect the amateurs to behave?”</em></strong><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br />No.</p>

<p>IMO this is actually counter-productive unless the Client asks a specific question in this regard.</p>

<p>The focus of the sales meeting is to sell the service and the product, not to make rules and regulations about the execution of the service. To introduce such puts a negative spin on the sales meeting and thus will disadvantage a good outcome.</p>

<p>***<br /><strong><em></em></strong><br /><strong><em>“With some agreements in place, "intrusions" can either be prevented, or handled much easier when they happen.”</em></strong></p>

<p>Describing a method of working or explaining how we (the Professional Photographer) goes about their business throughout the day is a good idea – implied therefore, is the expectation that Guests will be adult and courteous enough to allow that procedure. IMO nothing more than that need be covered by spoken word at the sales meeting.</p>

<p>One might have an “exclusive shoot” clause in the written contract; I don’t see any need to overtly make specific description of that either, unless a specific question is asked about it.</p>

<p>The Wedding Day is not about “agreements” with the Bride and Groom and they then having to address those agreements which have been made with their Photographer: the Day is about the Photographer doing the job Professionally – the Bride and Groom are NOT responsible for the actions of their Guests – no more than the Patient is responsible for the Surgeon finding Peritonitis when a simple Appendectomy was expected<strong> –</strong> (as an extreme example) – just deal with it.</p>

<p>Whilst there are Clients that will be attracted to those Wedding Photographers with huge egos which demand rules and regulations – in the main most Clients just want a good job for a fair price and mostly Guests (and Brides and Grooms) are just enthusiastic and somewhat misguided – what I mean is they follow the common protocol of today which is <strong><em>“the more cameras clicking away the better for the Bride and Groom”</em></strong> . . . and there is a bit of self serving in that model too, as it becomes a bit of a competition, between the egos of the Guests.</p>

<p>There are many (first attempt) ways of handling the situation of Guest getting in the way and many of those are pre-emptive: for the Formals (which we did always as part of the Package) the Tripod and announcement works well (William Porter) . . . but mostly ignoring people and getting on with the business works fine in most situations.</p>

<p>It has to be remembered that this question developed into describing <strong><em>quite a specific situation as described where there was a most disruptive element </em></strong>. . . no manner or number of agreements made weeks previously at the sales meeting with the Client would prevent that from happening - if the Guest was so set to disrupt the Setting and the Procedure.<br>

<br /><br />The bottom line is, Professional Wedding Photographer is much more than “Photography”, it is very much about People, getting along with them, creating Rapport and managing situations - outlining "The Rules" when one first meets thr B&G, is not a good idea, IMO. </p>

<p>WW</p>

<p> </p>

[william-porter]

<p>William W writes (insightfully, as always):</p>

<p><em><strong>It has to be remembered that this question developed into describing quite a specific situation as described where there was a most disruptive element . . . no manner or number of agreements made weeks previously at the sales meeting with the Client would prevent that from happening - if the Guest was so set to disrupt the Setting and the Procedure. </strong></em></p>

<p>Righty-o. Years ago, when I was young and much smarter than I am now, I used to spend a lot of time imagining all the specific problems that could arise with a project and devising ways to handle them. This wasn't in the world of photography, but it doesn't matter. The point is, most of the things I anticipated never happened; and things I hadn't anticipated always did happen. The lesson I learned is, you have to have basic problem-handling skills in place and then hope that they are exercised with judgment. <br>

*</p>

<p><em><strong>The bottom line is, Professional Wedding Photographer is much more than “Photography”, it is very much about People, getting along with them, creating Rapport and managing situations - outlining "The Rules" when one first meets thr B&G, is not a good idea, IMO.</strong></em></p>

<p>This is terrifically important and I think it's something that many new photographers overlook. I overlooked it myself. When I started doing photography for money about five years ago, I was focused entirely on the technical, photographic issues, and of course I am still grappling with those issues—there's a lot more to learn than most people realize! But one thing that I have learned, and it's a happy discovery, is that my ability to deal with people—an ability that I think is mostly just natural, but which I improved over years as a teacher—turns out to be a really important photographic skill. </p>

<p>There are lots of kinds of photography that misanthropes can practice: landscape, astrophotography, perhaps commercial stuff. And I suppose there are wedding photographers whose photographic skills are so great that their personality deficiencies become relatively unimportant. But as a general rule, if you don't REALLY REALLY like dealing with people, you should never think about becoming a wedding photographer. </p>

<p>Will</p>

[eric merrill]

<p>Robert:</p>

<blockquote>

<p>All the advices given here are about handling "intrusions" when they happen. Not a single one about heading it off before they happen. Would it not make sense to proactively tell the clients when you discuss the contracts how you expect the amateurs to behave? With some agreements in place, "intrusions" can either be prevented, or handled much easier when they happen.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>I believe that what I'm selling to my couples is not only having fantastic photos but doing so in a fashion that puts as little stress on them as possible. It's their wedding day. It's a family celebration. At any celebration, relatives and friends are going to want to take pictures. Why tell the couple what their friends and family should or should not be doing? There's absolutely no reason in my mind to try to stress out the couple just to make my job a little easier.</p>

<p>Like I said above, I've rarely encountered any problems with the guests when I proactively announce how we're going to proceed with formals. I don't need the bride and groom trying to police their invited guests. It's my job to create wonderful and lasting memories in a way that doesn't tarnish the day or interfere with their guests desire to create their own photos.</p>

<p>The wedding photographer of a friend of mine pulled out his contract and waived it around when guests started taking pictures. He threatened to leave if the guests didn't behave. Yes, he got his pictures. If that was his desired result, he was successful. My goal is to document memories and not create them. :)</p>

<p>Eric</p>

[robert_k1]

<blockquote>

<p>the expectation that Guests will be adult and courteous enough to allow that procedure</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Children (of all ages) can be present. These days they are armed with digital cameras and cell phones.</p>

<blockquote>

<p>It has to be remembered that this question developed into describing <strong><em>quite a specific situation as described where there was a most disruptive element </em></strong>. . . no manner or number of agreements made weeks previously at the sales meeting with the Client would prevent that from happening - if the Guest was so set to disrupt the Setting and the Procedure.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Life is full of agreements unfulfilled, but we make them anyway. Why? Because we know without them, we can expect nothing but the wrong outcome. With them, we have some chance, however slime, that they would be fulfilled. Marriage is a good example.</p>

<p>If I were a wedding photographer setting up with lighting and posting (a special situation), I certainly would inform my customer *before hand* that no one else is allowed to shoot then. If someone should try to shoot, it would be easy to remind the customer our agreement. Without an agreement, the situation can become contentious. But I'm not a pro, and have the privilege of being naive.</p>