Its not me, it you. When to say no to a potential client

[brian_byrne1]

<p>Just had a nasty exchange with a potential client. The client is getting married in 2011 and wanted me to travel a long distance to show portfolios. Tried to explain that I had a 5 week old with probable colic and that I couldn't do house calls pre-wedding in evenings. She got very angry and said that I had arranged to meet them tonight 2 hours drive away when I had asked the groom to be to come back to me with a local venue and a date.</p>

<p>Is there a point when you can professionally say 'actually its not me its you. Goodbye.'</p>

[katrin_d.]

<p>Did you actually make arrangements to meet with them at their location (2 hours drive for you)? If that's the case, I'd understand that the client would be angry. However, you don't specify how it went from there to a "nasty exchange" with the bride-to-be.</p>

[picturesque]

<p>Yes, there is a point you can refuse, and that point is up to you. However, you have to ask yourself whether the prospect has any good reason(s) for saying what they said or acting the way they did. Sometimes it is a misunderstanding or you haven't made something clear. It would be cutting your nose off to spite your face if you don't make a pretty big effort to make sure it <strong>is</strong> 'them' before refusing. Making a decision like this in the heat of the moment is probably not wise. If after calming down, thinking about things, and making sure you've done everthing you could to be fair and clear, a decision can be made.</p>

<p>Above, you just sound angry. And it isn't clear to me why your prospect is angry with you.</p>

[william-porter]

<blockquote>

<p>Is there a point when you can professionally say 'actually its not me its you. Goodbye.'</p>

</blockquote>

<p>No. There is no point at which it is either prudent or right (in the old-fashioned sense) to tell a customer what you really think of them before you tell them to find someone else.</p>

<p> </p>

<blockquote>

<p>She got very angry and said that I had arranged to meet them tonight 2 hours drive away when I had asked the groom to be to come back to me with a local venue and a date.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>I've read this sentence several times. It SOUNDS like what you're saying is that there was a misunderstanding. They asked you to meet with them, and you replied that you could meet with them somewhere closer to where you live. You were waiting for them to get back to you; meanwhile, they were under the impression that a time and date had been agreed on and now they're unhappy because they think you're standing them up.</p>

<p>This sort of misunderstanding shouldn't happen - but it does. This one of the reasons I like to do as much as possible of my scheduling via email. If I talk on the phone to arrange a meeting, and nothing is decided, I try to follow up with an email saying "I look forward to meeting you - please get back to me with a date and time a.s.a.p." In other words, I like to put even the lack of a decision into writing. Has saved my butt more than once in the past. (I learned this from my lawyer wife, by the way.)</p>

<p>Will</p>

[theresa_skutt]

<p>Maybe it's better to try to keep plans for times & dates in writing. There can be no misunderstanding.</p>

[william-porter]

<blockquote>

<p>Maybe it's better to try to keep plans for times & dates in writing. There can be no misunderstanding.</p>

</blockquote>

<p>Right. But it's not enough to enter appointments in your calendar. You have to have a written record not only of agreements ("See you next Tuesday at 9am") but also of negotiations. Why? Because in this thread, the angry bride-to-be might HAVE an entry in her calendar that says "meeting with photographer tonight at 7pm, our house". That would reflect what she thought was the case. But the photographer doesn't have that entry because he didn't have that understanding. So who's right? May be impossible to tell at this point. But it would help if the photographer had sent a message by email that said something like this:</p>

<p><em>I enjoyed talking with you on the phone today. As I said, I am hoping we can arrange a time to meet soon at a place closer to where I live. Please discuss this with your fiance and get back to me at your earliest convenience. I do look forward to meeting you and Larry soon.</em></p>

<p>Then, if some misunderstanding had arisen already, the bride would read this email and it would be clear that she and the photographer were not on the same page, and the crisis would be avoided.</p>

<p>I spoke to a client an hour ago about a possible meeting next week. Shortly after our phone call, I emailed the client to say something similar to what I said above - making it clear that, as of the date and time of the email, no agreement had been reached. I have very few good habits, alas, but this is a habit I do have and that I have found very useful.</p>

[gary van schaick]

<p>I agree with the email/put it in writing. If you talk on the phone, confirm with an email.</p>

<p>If you want to meet half way between, be proactive and suggest the place to meet up front. Choose a Starbucks to meet at, they're everywhere. And you can look up all the locations quickly on the internet. If that's no good for the B&G, at least you will have made the point that you want to meet some place between.</p>

[eric friedemann]

<p>My experience has been that the Disney ride is correct in asserting, "it's a small world." Also, event photography is often a word-of-mouth business. As such, even if a potential customer were unpleasent, I'd be as polite as possible in saying "no."</p>

[john_h.1]

<p>The story, as its written, is confusing. It doesn't matter though. We don't need a story to answer your question. There is nothing to be gained from teling a client they are the reason you will not take a job.</p>

<p>Some people do this, nevertheless, by sending a 'reject letter' declining to take the job saying that "...after thinking the matter it appears that I am probably not the right fit for you and your fiance and have decided that its best that I not be the photographer for this very important day in your life." followed by expressions of best wishes and perhaps a suggestion to check with local photographers who may be availble to help ect. More sophisticated people recognize this as business polite code for <em>''actually its not me its you. Goodbye." </em><br>

<em></em><br>

Other more subtle people say, "I no longer available to shoot your wedding and I am sorry that I won't be able to accomodate you" and then add the best wishes stuff. Note that no longer available is not a fake "I'm booked on the same date.</p>

 

[neilambrose]

<p>I think there's some confusion here between 'client' and 'prospect'.</p>

<p>A client is someone you've agreed to work for. A prospect is someone who is interested in reviewing your services.</p>

<p>If you're dealing with clients then you should be in the business of honouring your promises. Whatever you said you'd do - that's exactly what you have to deliver, plus or minus points of interpretation in your contract, all of which you should have explained carefully and be prepared to defend later on down the line, if necessary.</p>

<p>A prospect is someone with whom you have no relationship, but who may be interested in your services. Equally, you may be interested in them as a client. Either way, they should be pre-qualified. You need to know that they understand your product, are right for your product, and are able and willing to purchase your services. They need to know that you understand their needs, can meet their needs, and are able and willing to supply your services.</p>

<p>If dealing with a prospect you can walk away at any time, but you need to be aware of what that means in business terms. There are always times when it's appropriate (and prudent) to say there's no mileage in the relationship, but it needs to be handled with delicacy and sensitivity.</p>

<p>I tend to screen prospects quite closely - I need to know I'm on the same wavelength as a potential client, and I have to like and trust them in order to work with them. Equally, they need confidence in me and have to be comfortable with me as a supplier. I do sometimes refuse prospects - and they sometimes refuse me. I may feel their expectations are not in line with my services; they may feel my prices are not in line with their budget; or any similar combination.</p>

<p>If any of these conditions fail - on either side - then it's always appropriate for all parties to walk away. But doing so ought to be viewed as a mutually positive situation. If you're in any conflict about that fact then you probably have more work to do in your client/prospect management skills. If you've made certain promises then you need to deliver on them, if only to augment your reputation. If they've leapt to certain unfounded conclusions, then you need to disabuse them.</p>

<p>But whatever you decide - it should be dispassionate, calm and mutually acceptable.</p>

<p> </p>

[john_h.1]

<p><em>I think there's some confusion here between 'client' and 'prospect'.</em><br>

<em></em><br>

There seems no confusion from we who used the term client. It was just a use of a overly broad term. A poor choice of words if you will.</p>

[flietyer]

<p>Neil, I like your explanation. Makes perfect sence.</p>

<p>Brian,<br>

One thing that stands out to me in your story is that the B2B and the G2B seemed to have conflicting information. So perhaps, as others have sugested sending e-mails, both parties should get carbon copys so they are also on the same page with each other.<br>

You may want to also make sure to calm yourself dowm as having a 5 week old with colic will leave anyone a bit frazzeled. Something your B2B may not yet understand. Just saying your own fuse may be a bit shorter than usual. (experiance) <br>

Good Luck, wlt </p>