Someone was missing in my formals....

[l_matthews]

<p>Hello all,<br>

I'm not new to this forum, I have viewed many posts as a guest but I am putting up my first question. I would like your advice on a mistake that I have made.<br>

I have just flicked through my photographs of the latest wedding I photographed, to my horror I find that the brides' brother is missing from the formal family shots. He is in one, with the bridesmaids and best man. <br>

I always have a photo plan, I followed it, I used the ushers for help. I made sure everyone was in the shot. Unfortunately as the brother was an usher too, some of the ushers asked if they could go to the reception venue to set up so I did their photos first. So the brides brother was absent as he was doing his usher duties...<br>

I haven't explained to the bride yet as I'm not sure what to say or do, in my mind I have two options. Photoshop, or fess up and tell the bride her brother is missing in the family formals. Oh my I couldn't imagine anything worse if I was a bride! (or groom lol). I have calmed down a bit but I need some outside advice.<br>

Please try to focus on the advice on the current situation and not what I should have and could have done.</p>

<p>I promise to return the favours received by your advice by contributing to other posts on this forum, I am here to give and not just receive :)</p>

<p>Thank you so much.<br>

Lucas</p>

[michaelchadwickphotography]

<p>It's an honest mistake, one which I have made myself. The way I fixed it in my own case was to let the bride know that the person left with their group, and that I did not check the group's need for later photographs (I work from big to small with group formals). When I told the bride, I had already done some Photoshop work to include that person, and they were not only fine with the mistake, they were amazed at the Photoshop skill used to include them in the image. If you go in with the problem "fixed" they will not have the time to imagine how awful the picture is going to be without the brother.</p>

<p>My mistake in this area caused me to stop using "groups" like ushers or cousins, etc. and make shot lists based on names, along with a plan for "releasing" sets of people by name/function. If the shot list is planned in this sort of working backwards way, and releasing certain people instead of by groups (or being ready with "All ushers except for brother Jimmy") it will help prevent this from happening again.</p>

[daverhaas]

<p>I think that this was a perfectly honest mistake - Brother does his photos with the ushers and leaves - comes back in time for the wedding. </p>

<p>As for action - I'd do the photoshop thing first. See if you can get him into the photo in a manner that looks real. Then fess up to the bride. Chances are - she didn't notice either, at least not on that day. </p>

<p>To avoid in the future - I always ask the bride / groom to do a quick scan of the large group shot during setup to see if we're missing anybody.</p>

<p>Dave</p>

 

[ed_farmer]

<p>This is a very easy mistake to make.  I would PhotoShop him in one or two pictures and explain the issue to the bride offering to do the same to any images that are needed.<br>

However, you also need to make sure that the BRIDE, GROOM and FAMILY are responsible for this mistake in the future.  Always ask, when doing family, work,  school groups at a wedding, "Is this everyone who should be in the picture?"  When dismissing groups when you still have other work to do use something like, "Yes, you are done if you are not part of the immediate family."  I always tell the bride that she needs to make sure that everyone needed for pictures knows that they have to stay.  Remember, you don't know their family (in most situations.)  Make sure that you get all of the help you can from those who do.<br>

The first time, this mistake is understandable.  But, it is very important to change the way that you interact in order to prevent it from happening again.</p>

[l_matthews]

<p>Michael - It's relieving to hear this can be corrected well. I have began working in the missing person and it looks very good (luckily clothes are black).<br>

David - I am going to speak to the bride and explain, I'll show her a small proof so she can see how it works. It's better her knowing now I guess instead of finding out when she gets the prints! She didn't notice much on the day, which is understandable with so many things happening.<br>

Ed - Thanks I will do. Everything you said in your last paragraph I practice, it was simply a mistake of someone not spotting he wasn't there when I checked and read out the names I was told by the helpers that everyone was present.</p>

<p>I think the only thing I can think of in hindsight is to call a "register", that would be fail proof. "Yes photographer I'm here!" !!</p>

<p>Thank you all so far I feel a lot better, I admit this did give me a lump in my throat when I realised the mistake.</p>

[wedding-photography-denver]

<p>Unfortunately, I would suggest fessing up. However, if you can PS him in to a few, then do so first and share those images with her as you break the bad news.</p>

<p>All the best with that one, yikes.</p>

[William Michael]

<p><em><strong>"I am going to speak to the bride and explain, I'll show her a small proof so she can see how it works. It's better her knowing now I guess instead of finding out when she gets the prints! She didn't notice much on the day, which is understandable with so many things happening."</strong></em><br>

<br />

<p>Like David Wegwart wrote, I would tell the truth but have at least one or two Photoshopped images ready to go - I would not show "proofs". <br>

<br>

As I know Photographers whose PS skills are better than mine, I would pay to have it done perfect, if necessary.<br>

<br>

I would convey the news as <em >“an explanation of the logistics”</em> on the day (not a emphasizing "A Mistake"). and I would have the "solution" presented as something extra you did to cover the Brother's absence and everyone (including you) not noticing it.<br>

<br>

It is all in the delivery and where the emphasis is placed - yes you feel sick in the gut but what you need to transfer to the Bride is the relief that she has images with her Brother . . . because of the digital technology; your skill and you hard work to please the Client upon noticing the omission . . .<br>

<br>

WW</p>

</p>

[ed_farmer]

<p>If you were told that everyone was there, this isn't really your mistake. So, I would not present it as your mistake at all. "As it happened, I was told that everyone was there for these photographs, but it turns out that your brother was not there." Or, something like that. <br>

This can't all fall on us . . . I once had a bride (drunk off her rear) at a reception ask me, "Can I get a picture with all of my uncles?" I told that would be great, to get them together and I would set it up. When she saw the proofs, "Where is my uncle Frank?" She was really pissed! But, she brought me five older gentlemen and said, "Here we are!" How was I supposed to know . . .</p>

[david_schilling___chicago_]

<p>I think sometimes people offer a Photoshop fix way too quickly. It is what it is. I'll grant that it was an honest mistake but it was largely due to your inexperience, you'll learn from this but I won't downplay that it was a significant mistake.</p>

<p>I would show the bride the proofs and then mention that at the time you didn't realize her brother wasn't there. If you don't make a big thing out of it, she might not make a big thing of it. Alot depends on the bride. Often, the bride might be fine but you'll get an ear full from the MOB. See what happens, if you get drama and gnashing of teeth, then pull out the PS card....but for now, keep the card close to your vest, it might not be needed. Later on, if it is needed then you've helped rescue the day and offered-up something in a way of a solution to the problem....you might even get perceived as a hero. Good luck.</p>

[StuartMoxham]

<p>Personaly I agree with David about not offering the photoshop fix straight away. The Bride may well have been aware that her brother was not in the family photos and there may not be any problem at all.</p>

[William Michael]

<p >Hi David, (Schilling) & Stuart:</p>

<p > </p>

<p >I am a pragmatist / efficiency seeker and therefore I would normally agree with taking the process one step at time and NOT having the PS solution done and ready at hand . . . except, in this case, this sentence:</p>

<p > </p>

<p ><em >“</em><em >I always have a photo plan, I followed it, I used the ushers for help.”</em></p>

<p ><em > </em></p>

<p >I thought that meant the “Photo Plan” was the shot list (of the Formals) already requested by the Clients, and the “Photo Plan” was decided at a meeting with the Clients, prior to the Wedding. </p>

<p > </p>

<p >I might have misinterpreted the meaning of this sentence – that would be easy for me to do, because if I have a “Photo Plan” for the Formals it is actually a “request list” . . . that’s why I was so emphatic about having a few Finished Prints done and ready to provide.</p>

<p > </p>

<p >WW </p>

<p > </p>

 

[l_matthews]

<p>Hi and thank you everyone, I am seeing clearly now!<br>

I think in the case of the clients they will appreciate me having a solution to offer, as a couple they were very creative and easy going so they may appreciate the option for PS. I do expect them to ask if I can do this when I speak to them so I will wait for that.</p>

<p>WW - my Photo Plan was my shot list which was constructed from a request list we wrote down at a meeting so I think you did understand!<br>

I agree with the comments suggesting I should word myself well. I have to be sensitive to the situation but also have to be positive and confident I can offer a good solution.<br>

Let's see how it goes.</p>

[l_matthews]

<p>In conclusion...<br>

I downplayed it to the bride and she was fine, I offered I could work some magic and she said that would make her mum happy and she is "dead excited" about receiving the photos.</p>

<p>Thanks team photo.net!</p>

[farceur_coince]

<p>Obviously well handled, so well done, L. :)</p>

[cardens]

<p>Glad this is solved and thought I would offer a somewhat similar story. I shot a wedding, got the online proofs up and the bride emails and asks if there are any pics with her brother (the guy in the green shirt who walked her mom into the reception)<br>

I was like, "you have a brother?" I was never told, had no clue she even had a brother, I knew all about her sister but no brother! He was in no formal shots as she didnt even mention him at all!<br>

I did have a couple pics of him walking into the reception hall and she was very happy about that. Sometimes we can be the eyes and ears of everything going on. We need to work with them as much as they work with us to keep us in the loop.</p>